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Guest Post: The Bachelor Australia – Second Episode And There Has Been Snogging!

Annajjj kicked of one off the recaps with one of the most talked about shows this week and again she brings her wit to the second episode for the first date and group date!

Over to Annajjj:
In tonight’s episode one lucky bachelorette gets a single date and a gaggle of them are sent on a group date, while Blake gets to demonstrate a few of his bachelor skills.  First he single handedly sails a yacht around Sydney Harbour to prove just how rich, versatile and manly he can be.

Meanwhile the girls are relaxing at the McMansion with not a sequin in sight and even Gosher is dressed casually as he delivers a date card.  Pushy Amber snatches up the card and draws out the suspense before slowly announces that the first date goes to Jessica! Jess is overjoyed and doesn’t notice Anita shooting daggers.

Blake arrives to collect Jessica and she’d quite like to drive but no, Blake has to show off his manly driving skills. It’s a hellishly long drive to wherever they are going as night falls by the time they finally arrive. Jessica is blindfolded and then tied up and beaten with rubber hoses…no wait that’s not right at all….she is welcomed to a winter wonderland complete with snow machine, candles and fairy lights. It’s incredibly romantic and just goes to show the kind of guy Blake is.

He’s also the kind of guy who can’t ice-skate although the producers desperately try to cover this bit. Blake encourages Jessica to skate to him and jump into his arms which, considering he can barely balance his own weight on the ice, seems a bit ambitious. But of course this is a carefully rehearsed jump, tumble and fall laughing onto the ice in each other’s arms. Will Jess break her no-kissing-on-the-first-date rule? Undoubtably.

Back at the house several of the women are receiving the consolation prize of a group date. Which loosely translates into hanging around with each other as always but somewhere different. Anita and Laurina are included on the group date to keep things interesting.

Over at the warehouse the romance-ometre is now on 11. There is a table for two, a red carpet, a new princess dress, fake fur and champagne. Jess tells Blake she used to have the biggest overbite. Used to? He gives her a rose and two kisses and they head back.

Despite it probably being 4am when they arrive, everyone is up and waiting for the date details. Jessica panics when asked if they kissed and quickly lies then gets upset with herself for lying. Next time just tell them it is none of their business.

The next day and Group Date! And it’s a wedding photo shoot which has everyone thrilled until they find out 1. There are only four brides and 2. Laurina is one of them and 3. Some of them have to be her bridesmaids. LOL.

Tiarnar has a small meltdown as she wanted to be a bride and now she is just a stupid maid with stupid hair. Laurina is an adorable, friendly, humble bride except no she isn’t. Her three maids ruin her photo shoot by glaring at her the entire time. Meanwhile in the background Anita freaks Australia out by hissing ‘turn around Blakey-boy’. That woman is scary.

Alana has the first dance photo shoot and Stacey-Louise (isn’t one first name enough?) gets to peel Blake’s shirt off to the girls’ delight. Then we get also-scary Diana. Perhaps if she opened her mouth when she talks or her teeth when she smiles she’d seem less weird. Predictably she is in her element in a princess wedding dress and just needs Mickey Mouse to complete the picture. These are all very good reasons not to give her a rose but as we all know Blake doesn’t actually get much say in who he ‘decides’ to pick.

Over at the house the girls are all sun-baking and just in case any blokes are watching this program the camera man gets some arse shots to keep them happy. Jessica is nervous, excited and about to get her heart broken. Just as well she can’t see that over at the Polo Club Blake has singled out Alana and given her a rose, much to Anita’s disgust. ‘I can’t see a connection there at all!’ she declares. Holly has decided that, as the recipients of premature roses, both Alana AND Jessica are her rivals now. Holly’s mind is working overtime.

It’s cocktail party time again and Laurina is still going for mysterious over personality. The other girls are starting to hate her now as we skip the rest of the cocktail party and head straight for the rose ceremony. OshGosh tells them two girls are going home and in walks Blake to start handing out roses.

Anita is in the thick of the pack getting antsy while everyone around her receives roses. Laurina’s cool cat smile starts to slide off her face until there is only one rose left and she gets it. Then she gets upset in front of the other girls as her best friend Tiarnar was sent home. Chantal questions her motives for being here. “Well he’s dating 20 other women so I’m not emotionally invested yet’ points out Laurina which seems reasonable. The other women disagree. Either you’re in this for the noble reason of finding True Love or you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Seeking fame, lifting your media profile or just doing it for fun are the wrong reasons unless you are a Kardashian or Chrissy Swan.

Before we leave we’re given exciting previews of upcoming bitch-fests with Laurina and Anita taking centre stage. Should be…fun.

 

August 1, 2014   19 Comments

Guest Post: The Block Glasshouse – Ep 5 The Beat Goes On…

Gidgit back, less angry and ranty  I promise! Firstly I’d like to apologise to the Block and everyone on it – yes even Keith – for my last write up. It was pretty harsh. I blame it on my passion for the show – and booze!

So with a calmer head and much better grammar and spelling I’ll keep it short and sweet! (well I’ll try)

Looks like we are in for yet another bumpy night! Dee doesn’t want us to see her without makeup but that won’t last and we’ll see you clear faced eventually Dee – rest assured! Seems most of them have finally pulled the obligatory ‘The Block all nighter’ painting – about time. Darren informs us everything is painted but if I’m not seeing things – one wall looks very UNPAINTED. All the teams tell us of all the stuff they have to do and get and cry me a river. You know you are all going to make at least some $$$ on sales day! Cheer up!

Chris is given Chris the plasterer and told he can do with him what he wants – so Chris sends him to get Macca’s! (not really)  Max & Kar Kar seem pretty laid back while Dee & Darren have had cross wires about which wall is having panelling so they do that ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ bit which is what one does so they don’t call each other ‘bitch’ ‘asshole’ ‘bitch’ ‘asshole’. Darren does the smart thing when in a barney with a woman and walks away. Umm, does Dee have make up on now – because I can’t tell?

Michael gives us some advice to a good relationship and yeah, you come brattle that crap to me when you’ve been together for longer 20 years – oh and it may help, as you’ve said ‘we’ve hardly seen each other. We are like ships in the night’. That also helps. Hard to have a tif when you are not remotely near each other! Carlene is off looking for more art after Scotty ragged on her $1800 splats on canvas (let’s face it – it was pretty ‘kiddie splatty’)

Oh look it’s raining in Melbourne!!

Shannon has gone on a paint run to the local hardware and not sure why he felt he needed to reverse SO far back (bad driver?) but he reverses into the trolley bollards! Hope he left an apology note on the bollard – they have feelings too!  Back at the block and Dee is in a huffy. Darren nails it ‘well YOU go put the tools on and put it up’. Yeah go on Dee! Shannon is over his crash and shopping for bedding at Myer (cha ching $$) Michael ‘we never argue’ is having an argument with his misses about lighting. Chris is using his plasterer to paint and to be fair, Keith did say ‘use him for ANYTHING’. Well he is – painting!  I’ll admit if I was buying any of the properties I would PREFER a pro to do the painting. I know what a half arsed shabby non professional paint job looks like – I look at it in my hallway every day!  While Chris is being scolded at by Keith, Jenna is making good old chicken sandwiches with mayo, tomato and lettuce and she knows how to win everyone over! That’s a crowd pleaser for sure. Hope she gave some to the crew! She does kinda hint she spat in them, but I might be reading that wrong.

Dee is STILL shitty and it is coming across that Darren is a bit of a stubborn dick.  Daz finally gives in and puts the damn panelling up because his wife is crying and he’s looking like a tool. Relationships are hard  – renovations are harder!  Max and Kar Kar’s people forgot to pick up their blinds (free delivery then I think!) Jenna is feeling in the dumps as she ran out of stuff to make sandwiches. Hits 4.30am and they are all whinging about being up so late. Bah – lightweights. I just get started at that time. Max’s art is – interesting… and we are on the final stretch for room reveals – yaaaayyyyyy! Shaynna, Neil and Darren finally! Up now is The Block Behind the Green Door but I’ll be seeing you all again Sunday night for the big room reveals. I have Village Vets to watch!

Gidgit back, less angry and ranty I promise! Firstly I’d like to apologise to the Block and everyone on it – yes even Keith – for my last write up. It was pretty harsh. I blame it on my passion for the show – and booze!

So with a calmer head and much better grammar and spelling I’ll keep it short and sweet! (well I’ll try)

Looks like we are in for yet another bumpy night! Dee doesn’t want us to see her without makeup but that won’t last and we’ll see you clear faced eventually Dee – rest assured! Seems most of them have finally pulled the obligatory ‘The Block all nighter’ painting – about time. Darren informs us everything is painted but if I’m not seeing things – one wall looks very UNPAINTED. All the teams tell us of all the stuff they have to do and get and cry me a river. You know you are all going to make at least some $$$ on sales day! Cheer up!

Chris is given Chris the plasterer and told he can do with him what he wants – so Chris sends him to get Macca’s! (not really) Max & Kar Kar seem pretty laid back while Dee & Darren have had cross wires about which wall is having panelling so they do that ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ bit which is what one does so they don’t call each other ‘bitch’ ‘asshole’ ‘bitch’ ‘asshole’. Darren does the smart thing when in a barney with a woman and walks away. Umm, does Dee have make up on now – because I can’t tell?

Michael gives us some advice to a good relationship and yeah, you come brattle that crap to me when you’ve been together for longer 20 years – oh and it may help, as you’ve said ‘we’ve hardly seen each other. We are like ships in the night’. That also helps. Hard to have a tif when you are not remotely near each other! Carlene is off looking for more art after Scotty ragged on her $1800 splats on canvas (let’s face it – it was pretty ‘kiddie splatty’)

Oh look it’s raining in Melbourne!!

Shannon has gone on a paint run to the local hardware and not sure why he felt he needed to reverse SO far back (bad driver?) but he reverses into the trolley bollards! Hope he left an apology note on the bollard – they have feelings too! Back at the block and Dee is in a huffy. Darren nails it ‘well YOU go put the tools on and put it up’. Yeah go on Dee! Shannon is over his crash and shopping for bedding at Myer (cha ching $$) Michael ‘we never argue’ is having an argument with his misses about lighting. Chris is using his plasterer to paint and to be fair, Keith did say ‘use him for ANYTHING’. Well he is – painting! I’ll admit if I was buying any of the properties I would PREFER a pro to do the painting. I know what a half arsed shabby non professional paint job looks like – I look at it in my hallway every day! While Chris is being scolded at by Keith, Jenna is making good old chicken sandwiches with mayo, tomato and lettuce and she knows how to win everyone over! That’s a crowd pleaser for sure. Hope she gave some to the crew! She does kinda hint she spat in them, but I might be reading that wrong.

Dee is STILL shitty and it is coming across that Darren is a bit of a stubborn dick. Daz finally gives in and puts the damn panelling up because his wife is crying and he’s looking like a tool. Relationships are hard – renovations are harder! Max and Kar Kar’s people forgot to pick up their blinds (free delivery then I think!) Jenna is feeling in the dumps as she ran out of stuff to make sandwiches. Hits 4.30am and they are all whinging about being up so late. Bah – lightweights. I just get started at that time. Max’s art is – interesting… and we are on the final stretch for room reveals – yaaaayyyyyy! Shaynna, Neil and Darren finally! Up now is The Block Behind the Green Door but I’ll be seeing you all again Sunday night for the big room reveals. I have Village Vets to watch!

July 31, 2014   7 Comments

Reality Tidbits Thursday Evening

Sad news for Manu Feildel as his new restaurant has closed down due to lack of customers. He took a break from filming MKR to tell the staff himself. (Source: Good Food)

It takes The Bachelorettes 90 minutes to get ready for the show. (Source: News.com.au)

The winner of The Voice Australia says the show is not rigged. Well it is not surprising that she would say that. (Source: News.com.au)

Carly and Leighton, the winners of House Rules series one, have bought a million dollar house in Sydney. It is not even renovated. (Source: Daily Mail)

The US Bachelorette Andi Dorfmann was not happy when the runner up, Nick Viallis revealed he had “made love to her”. (Source: Daily Mail)

Of course an old dude on Fox news then calls Andi a slut. (Source: Daily Mail)

 

Gordon Ramsay’s daughter Tilly will be hosting her own cooking show. There will be no swearing. (Source: Digital Spy)

The Block and The X Factor producers discuss casting of reality shows and how you can’t always predict which of the contestants will resonate with the viewers. (Source: SMH)

There has been a brouhaha over in the USA on how badly people working on reality shows are treated, here are some more stories from the reality TV coalface. It is an interesting read. (Source: Gawker)

If you live in Perth and are fans of The X Factor on Saturday Reigan Derry and Sydnee will be performing at Westfield Carousel. (Source: West Australian)

Shanina Sheik has been hanging with Justin Beiber on a yacht off Ibiza. There were others on board. (Source: Daily Telegraph)

Want to get into reality TV writing, well here is a course that might be able to help. (Source: Writers Store)

Interesting article about the nominations for Emmy’s Outstanding Reality Host Award. (Source: Hollywood Reporter)

July 31, 2014   No Comments

Reality Check – The Preview For The New ABC Panel Show

Here is an advertisment for the new reality TV panel show Reality Check which will start on the ABC on Wednesday 13 of August. The host Tom Ballard on the ad says ” But we don’t even do reality tv on the ABC”.

Clearly he has never watched ABC2 as it is full of reality shows.

July 31, 2014   2 Comments

Guest Post : The Bachelor Australia Series 2 Kicks Off

Annajjj has had a break from House Rules and is back to
turn her talents on The Bachelor. Here is the recap: Introduction
night and first up previews of what to expect over the coming
weeks. The ridiculously named Osher with an equally ridiculous
Charlie Pickering hairstyle welcomes us to this season’s The
Bachelor. Then we’re introduced to the hero of the piece; Blake
Garvey, a 31 year old auctioneer from Perth. He’s just the right
mix of sexy, sensitive, career minded and family oriented as
demonstrated by the four gratuitous topless shots, followed by
competent salesman demo, followed by obligatory
pushing-around-gran-in-a-wheelchair plus holding-someone’s-baby
shots. Blake has brown eyes with very long eyelashes and a vocal
range in the low Cs. Blake arrives at the Bachelor McMansion where
OshKosh greets him on tippy-toe. (I’ve seen Osh in real life and
he’s really only about 4 foot tall) Meanwhile 24 limos, or possibly
2 limos doing laps, are on their way as preview-cam introduces us
to a few of the lucky bachelorettes. Holly is a netball athlete and
there are a few alone shots to show Holly has no boyfriend and
absolutely no friends. We briefly meet Anita who grooms dogs (and
boils rabbits as we later discover) and then over to Sam who, by
her own admission, has dated a lot of douche bags. Diana is a
princess and, like most five year old girls, is desperately in love
with all things Disney. She’d also make an excellent ventriloquist
as her mouth barely moves when she talks. Chantal is an interior
designer and my pick for the win until she shows up later in a
dress with a horrible swimsuit style top. Blake is waiting
patiently out the front of the Bachelor house and Holly is first to
arrive. She totters out on 6 inch heels exclaiming that Blake is
‘as tall as me!” Those shoes are forcing her to pitch forward
meaning Blake gets a good behind view as she moves off. It’s a
great first bum impression. Next up is Sam who stumbles a bit then
Emma who gets lost on the five metre walk from the limo to Blake.
She has short hair and a short dress and clearly her milkshake
brings all the boys to the yard but our bachelor Blake isn’t so
easily impressed. He’s got Barry Manilow styling Emma tells us but
she probably means Barry White. Next Canadian Amber and we quickly
rush past her and then it’s Chantal in her horrible dress and she’s
made Blake a present. It’s a keyring and is that a rabbit’s foot
dangling from it? We speed through several women named Jessica,
Bridget, Tiarna, Kara, and past some chick on rollerblades, and
slow down when lovely Louise appears with a cocktail she has
carefully nursed on the drive over. She presents it to Blake and he
sips it cautiously as though it might be spiked with Rohypnol.
Anita arrives, stumbles, hitches her strapless dress up and tells
Blake he has a small mouth. That’s not a fabulous first impression
but this chick has so much more up her metaphorical sleeves. She
starts to sing and to his credit Blake doesn’t bolt although he
does look like he’d rather be anywhere else. We quickly whizz
through several more women who don’t rate a proper introduction
then it’s Diana expressing her outer child and she makes Blake
kneel while she crowns him and that’s not a euphemism. Samantha has
a weird mouth and a fluffy toy which she presents to Blake who
quickly tosses it in the bushes before greeting Katrina who is
toting her guitar and forcing him to stand there while she sings
him a song. It’s country and lame but gentlemanly Blake pretends to
like it. Finally we meet Laurina Ballerina who briefly introduces
herself then rushes off in a cunning plan to pique Blake’s
interest. This might actually work. OshKosh comes back on set and
tells everyone it’s lovely to meet them, even though he hasn’t, and
then explains the rose concept. There is a surprise twist of the
white rose which guarantees safe passage through the first two
eliminations and immediately everyone covets the white rose. So
with 1 guy, 24 bunny boilers and 1 short disappearing wingman, we
set about creating the world’s most awkward cocktail party. Holly,
who looks like a cross between Christina Aguilera and Roxy Jacenko,
is first to get one-on-one time with Blake. Her moment of glory is
stolen by two other ‘ladies’ who decide she’s had quite enough
Blake-time and crash her party. Meanwhile Anita hitches up her
dress again and sets about stalking our leading man. No guts no
glory. She tries several times to secure her prey but annoyingly he
keeps choosing other women to get to know. Finally, finally it’s
Anita’s turn for alone time and Samantha unwisely decides to crash
their conversation. But it takes more than a chick with a strange
mouth hovering nearby to deter Anita. She instantly dismisses
Samantha who, rather than graciously admit defeat and wander off,
continues to stand there sipping her drink and looking like the
world’s biggest knob. I bet she cringed tonight when she watched
that footage. Laurina’s plan to play hard-to-get results in her
rather rudely leaving Blake mid-sentence much to Jessica’s delight.
Louise and Katrina both get roses which throws the other girls into
a dating frenzy apart from Laurina who simply goes into a cleaning
frenzy. The cunning plan HAS to work she mutters under her breath
as she roams around inside alone dusting and vacuuming. Finally
Blake takes the white rose and presents it to…Holly! Hands up who
saw that coming? “We’re goin’ frew this jurney togevar!” Holly
simpers while 23 pairs of eyes glower at her. Out comes OshKosh to
wind this party up and Blake is sent off for some alone time. He
sits by the fire swiping left and right while the ladies gather
patiently on the stairs. It is time for the rose ceremony and will
even one of the women come forward and say “It was great meeting
you but look no thanks”? Sadly no although Laurina looks like she
might be tempted to if she has to wait much longer while these less
worthy bitches get roses. Then there is only one rose left and
Anita, awkward Emma and even more awkward Samantha are left
standing with two other women I don’t think we’ve even seen before
now. Anita is given the final rose and how much of this is Blake’s
choice and how much of it is the producers wanting to keep the
drama component high? Anita is thrilled, the other girls leave
stiffly and we have our ‘top’ 20. Tomorrow night is date
night.

July 31, 2014   111 Comments