Thank you Ms Gidgit Von La Rue for another sterling recap. Over to you:
Recap of the week of teams working in Western Sydney and girls crying, Brian being a delusional asshole and everyone running around like chooks without heads. Maybe a bit of ‘panic’ at the beginning of the renovation rather than last 2 hours of the renovation might have helped complete areas properly? Now Tiana is newly engaged/or married – so does not live in the family home anymore. Steve lives there with his new partner, 23 year old son Andrew and 5 yr old son Rory.
Brian & Karina have Steve & his partners bedroom and are truly making a right mess of it. It’s unfinished and what they have done sucks balls. They really did not have that much to do really compared to other teams. The single toilet they did was too small (even though designer Carolyn Burns McNecklace warned them it was too small) & they didn’t have to do much in there as professional tiler and plumber would have done all the work! So really all they had to do was the home owners bedroom and they fudged that up big time.
In comes Joh Griggs looking very retro glamorous and is kind of stunned at the amount of work they all need to complete and I don’t blame her. Cassie and Matt are doing Rory’s superhero bedroom and any 5 yr old would love it! Ok maybe not a girl. Ryan is getting the shits with Marlee for being out all day so Marlee cries. God these girls cry a lot. Man up…well woman up. Love it or hate it, Bronik and Corrine’s bathroom art splatter painting is certainly…red! Turns out the art was more important than towel racks in a bathroom! Woopsie.
Danielle is obsessed with bloody LED lights and glad she just used them in Andrews bedroom and not all over their other area which is the lounge room. Carolyn Burns McShocked is, well, shocked at Brian & Karina’s unfinished horrible main bedroom. Brian is beyond stubborn as usual and his wife isn’t much better. So some teams get finished, others don’t and it’s back to House Rules headquarters for the judges Wendy and Joe to wipe their designer eyes over the Sydney renovation. I’m expecting a lot of ‘well it’s just not finished’ being said A LOT and it is. Now remember they all had SEVEN days to do this. And not just on their own, they have the use to trades. I know it’s hard but really no excuse. Each team is not doing the entire house! (I can hear some of you saying “Oh I bet you couldn’t do any better” – agreed! That’s why I do not apply for these shows!!! I’m not nuts!)
First areas judged are Ryan and Marlee’s and Ryan has made Marlee cry about three times this week so still less crying than Cassie! They have the kitchen, the hall and the entry. The kitchen is huge, lots of storage and the judges find it hard to fault. They DO find fault with the hallway and entry which are unfinished (drink). Oh and Bally poster/artwork in a renovation show (drink). Up next is Bronik and Corrine’s areas of the main bathroom and dining room. They took a big risk with their artwork ‘shot in the head’ painting for the bathroom but the judges love it. Wendy loves the square table because it’s like a round table as there is no ‘head’ of the table. Ah not too many people do have those long ass tables you see in historic grand homes with Posh Dosh sitting at the head being served on by a servant – as far as I know. They love the bathroom and miss a few issues including no towel rack! Guess they had rose coloured glasses on due to that Aunt Flo painting?
Cassie and Matt have the laundry and 5 yr old’s bedroom and DRINK – ‘unfinished laundry’! I do also think all the teams took the whole ‘red, black and white’ WAY to literally! Rory’s superhero bedroom is cool and I disagree with their comments about the bunk bed. Bet Rory will have buddies staying over plus I doubt a 5 yr old is going to say ‘hmmm, just too cluttered with AWESOME SUPERHERO STUFF!’ Asshat Brian and Karina are next with their tiny weeny toilet with stupid light/clock monstrosity and horrible unfinished main bedroom. As someone said on twitter, I don’t feel sorry for Brian & Karina – it’s lovely Steve & his partner who have to sleep in there. I feel for them! The main bedroom is not just VERY unfinished but it’s badly designed with no taste or class. It’s bloody horrible. It’s really like Brian and Karina just phoned this week in – on their delusional no taste phone. Danielle and Ben have nailed Andrews bedroom and not just that pretty sure Danielle has not cried yet so you go girl! She’s a hard worker too so I’ll forgive she does not like shopping (weirdo). They have also nailed the lounge room with huge black leather lounge big enough for everyone in the family to sit on and what happened to Steve’s aquarium? Poor fish gone to – well, sleep with the fishes?
Time for judges scores and god damn Brian is completely delusional. Beautiful Joh welcomes the judges and the scores are: Team Tassie, Cassie & Matt = 13, Team SA, Ryan & Marlee = 12, Team QLD, Ben & Danielle = 13 (bit harsh). Team Vic next, Corrine and Bronik = 15 and finally Team WA, Boofhead & wench (sorry I mean Brian and Karina) = tent city (7). Hahaha. Now to watch Steve & his family check out their newly renovated house! This should be good. God Steve is a lovely man. I’m so glad he’s found a new partner. (Bet her and Tiana don’t get on!) Rory is STOKED with his superhero room of course. “Dad, this is the best room ever” Take THAT judges! They HATE Brian’s stupid clock/light tacky crap – can’t blame them. Then Steve finds his bedroom and is appalled! Poor guy’s partner said “I want the old room back” OUCH! 23 yr old Andrew LOVES his room so the only people in the family that got the shit room was poor Steve & his partner. They do love the new bathroom but no towel rack, Tiana HATES the art & Steve would have preferred the outcut thing with a mirror in the shower, not the bath (guessing so he can shave). Steve is SO appreciative and it’s touching. Ok – now score time from Steve & Tiana! Ryan & Marlee get 7, Cassie & Matt get 7, Bronik & Corrine receive a 6 (they didn’t love the bathroom as much as the judges it turns out!) Brian & Karina now & a well deserved 3 (be funnier if it was a minus 2!) and now Ben & Danielle who lets face it pretty much the only couple that finished their areas – so they get a 9! Woot!
Leaders are Ben & Danielle and bottom are Karina & Brian – welcome to tent city! This week is Ben & Danielle’s house in Qld in the worst weather ever and again – welcome to tent city Brian & Karina! See you tomorrow night folks! Also congrates to Guy Sebastian coming fifth at Eurovision! Great performance.
May 25, 2015 1 Comment
Thanks to Pablo Newton-Farley and his weekly series of interviews with reality TV contestants we get to find where they are up to. And you can hear him on mornings on Spirit Radio in the Pilbara region of WA.
May 23, 2015 11 Comments
May 22, 2015 33 Comments
Georgia, John, Jarrod, Amy and Fiona were duking it out for survival on Masterchef courtesy of John completely cocking it up for the blue team in the previous challenge.
Tonight they had to make five plates, four for the judges and one for themselves as they would be sitting at the tasting table with the judges. They had 75 minutes to make it.
John was making Chicken Roulade and he was having problems tying them up. And Marco told him they were tied badly and that the pan was not heated evenly. but even after he put it into the oven his roulades were undercooked. He plated up one piece each and Marco told him it was his best effort yet after tasting it.
Georgia was making Panko and Sesame Prawns and after a test run on her prawns which she over cooked it she then turned off the oil. Cue drama as she to waited for it to heat up again. However the judges loved her prawns and Marco said it was the best thing he had eaten in the Masterchef kitchen all week.
Jarrod was making Mexican Gazpacho with croquettes. It all looked good until he slipped and knocked over his croquettes and they shattered all over the floor. Now there was one croquette each but that was the least of his problems. He did not put vinegar in his Gazpacho and Marco criticised him for poaching the fish then pureeing it saying that was all unnecessary and the texture was bad.
Amy was safe from the outset as we barely saw her all episode. Her drama was whether she would be able to make 25 quail tortellini’s in 75 minutes. She did but then had to make a quick sauce which she was criticised for but the pasta was very good.
Fiona’s pies were under cooked and the pastry was mess. But the filling was good.
And this is what saved her from elimination, with Jarrod being told his time was over.
May 22, 2015 127 Comments
Gidgitvonlarue is back with another recap. Over to Gidgit:
It’s the final day and turns out they have all been at the park playing Frisbee all the days leading up to final delivery day? Yeah ok they’ve been working but you would think by now work your ass off before final day because if you still have 70% of work to do in your areas with 2 hours to go – bad time organization!
Ryan & Marlee are in charge of kitchen and there is some issue with the cabinets being before polishing the AWFUL cement floor (you’ll get the jist – I hate cement). Away in a lovely home somewhere, home owners Steve and Tiana are worried about what the teams are doing to their home so maybe just do it yourself? Bronaconik and Corrine’s tiles have not been all laid and Corrine is crying. She should have a cry-off with Cassie! My money is on Cassie. I’m just girl crushing Danielle can I say. Love her. Ben and my girl crush are in charge of living room & 23 yr old Andrews bedroom and are limited to what they can do. They all are! Ryan kisses Ben’s muscles and this show just took a new turn!
Ryan is a real lad and saucy sense of humour, I can see that. Plus that body – oh that body. Lucky girl Marlee. Matt and Cassie have a really fun job of propping out 5 yr old Rory’s ‘superhero’ room. Way too much fun! Ass-hat Brian and his wife saved a ‘keep me’ item as in a clock and are now putting a light in the middle of it because….ummmm??? What is the point of doing that? Nice waste of time as we find out near the end of this episode. Too much ‘fluffing’ around yet again. Chop chop! This house needs to be done so Tiana can cry and mistreat her father! Geez!
People need to stop thinking of this ‘secret weapon’ crap and just complete their areas! If I found a room not finished but there was an amazing painting – I’d be all ‘why isn’t the room finished?’ Not ‘wow, amazing painting’. Deliveries are being delivered like a delivery festival. Is that the best I’ve got – you bet! Ben “there is a fine line between bling and tacky – and I think they are dancing that line”. Well said about Brian’s stupid clock light idea – well said. Ryan has to beg Bronaconic to borrow more of his zone to use for bench top. I like how all the teams help each other and are great mates – aside from Brian and Karina of course. Hmmm STILL no tweet onscreen! I’m thinking of divorcing you House Rules!
Corrine buys some art from a garage artist and I do like it. I really need to get onto that. Have about 15 paintings lined up in our bedroom and they are taking up space. 1 day to go and it’s not looking good! EVERYONE is really behind kind of like after demo it’s second day of renovation – not the last day of a week! Seems this week is the ‘Great Door Fuck Up’ week. Who are they using to do the doors – the local public school wood working class? It’s either the door company messing up or the contestants? Measure twice – cut once. Stuff that – measure 20 times – cut once.
Cassie and Matt are having all types of dramas over the doors for their laundry and turns out they are not the only ones. Brian is building a shit cabinet shelf thing and might want to bring Tara Dennis in to make it look not crap? So obviously all these blokes have trade skills – why haven’t they fixed their own home? Yeah I know – money. Yadda yadda. Tonight is all door dramas with no doors fitting or around the wrong way or leading to the depths of hell. That last one is a real bummer.
Corrine ordered some things and can’t find them including a print from Bondi. Honey it’s Australia Post. You are lucky to get a letter from a suburb 2 hours away in 4 days! Corrine is crying again and is so far winning over Cassie. It turns out their print from Bondi was delivered to another house. No dramas, just go get it unless the home owners have torn it up and used it for kitty litter! Turns out they have not ( they did open it – but who wouldn’t?) All good and they have their print of a swimmer about to be eaten by a shark. Cute. Ummm, why didn’t the ‘neighbour’ ask – who are you and why am I being filmed? Anyhoo… Marlee has taken up work as a road worker with a stop sign. Instead of doing that she could have been finishing her area with Ryan but hey – it’s quirky!
That floating floor looks a LOT like ours! Just saying. Boofhead Brian and Karina need their concrete slab to put in the wall behind the bed but it’s not going to be delivered so it’s all a mess. They are stumped on what to do… me: pressed metal panel, wallpaper, paint – it’s not hard folks. When life gives you lemons – make lemonade! Day over and next is final day. They all work over night and not sure why they don’t do this every night? Rory’s room is going to be awesome. The kid is five. Just having a fairy floss machine in the corner would be ‘awesome’. Everyone working at night has gone a bit loopy, especially after Karina has left! Where did they get all those awesome onesies from? Oh and it’s Onesie day soon folks so stock up on silly onesies! (seriously)
God these boys are hard workers. I used to feel guilty when my guy was working hard so I would hop in and help. Team WA are ignoring their recess in the bedroom and instead painting blood red on the walls and installing shit shelves with obvious screws showing. Bad form guys. I’m GUESSING Tiana doesn’t live at home seeing she is engaged so not sure why she had any input as to how the home should look for her dad Steve and his sons? Matt is putting up earth/world type wallpaper (not sure how that relates to home rules…rules?)
Time is ticking away and they all look like they are on the 2nd day to be honest. How all these areas are going to be finished is mind blowing – but I’m sure they will. The magic of TV! Tip – when getting furniture etc – make sure it’s delivered built! Fuck putting it together yourself unless you are shopping at Ikea! And folks REALLY need to be more specific when giving the house rules. They are more flaky than Gabi Grecko! Huge black bath arrives for Bronical and he gets help from the other guys to bring it in – aside from Brian who is an asshole. Karina goes to get something else than a concrete panel and goes for tiles! Dear dear. Wallpaper, paint, tin panel – why the HELL did you get tiles? Umm Brian, tiling has nothing to do with nails mate! Idiot. That recess could have been ready for wallpaper or painting in 5 minutes! I’m not even a tradie and I know that.
Ryan loses it with Marlee, Brian and Karina’s room is crap, Danielle is just hot, Cassie & Matt’s laundry doors are finally being put on, Brians loo sucks but as someone on twitter said ‘who reads a broadsheet in the toilet these days?’ Good point. Ryan’s body is amazing but I do like a nice hairy chest. Old broad – so shoot me! 2 hours to go & it still looks like 3 days more work! Brian & Karina are in trouble…bwahahahaha! Feel sorry for Steve though -lovely bloke. Karina is still doing nothing. Pick up some tools woman and do something other than drink water. She’s just standing around! You could be doing painting or styling the shelves or ANYTHING! Jesus! Oh wait – is that the end of the show? That was weird! Just kind of ended but without telling us! Ok then! Well that was tonight. See you Sunday (I will not be down in Bowral this weekend) for reveal night and full review! Seriously did it just finish?
May 21, 2015 10 Comments