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Guest Recap: Survivor Worlds Apart – Or What Happens When White Collar Workers Have No Minions

Who knew that a man wearing the same shirt for 30 series could still be so hot? Jeff Probst is back for another season of Survivor and this time it is called Worlds Apart. I now hand over to Rosie to explain the concept and what went down in the first episodes:
Well hi there fellow Survivor fans. Let us all pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that this season outshines last season’s lump of shite by a decent measure. Now that’s not asking too much, surely?
On with the show. The newbies enter on big trucks, and Jeffy tells us the 18 players have been divided into 3 tribes: the White Collars, whose actual tribe colour is yellow, the Blue Collars – and their buffs are actually blue, and the No Collars, whose buffs are red.
Of course we true fans remember from the finale of last season that they were to be divided by occupation, or lack thereof, so so far there is nothing that surprises us. Well, me.
Jeffy baby starts straight away with the clichés, telling us that the White Collars (WCs from now on in my recaps) are used to being in charge. A woman called So tells us she’s demanding and makes her underlings cry. Yep, she’s a right charmer.
Jeff then tells us the Blue Collars (BCs) are used to working with their hands or some such twaddle. And I bet none of them ever gets to be in charge, do they. Because tradies need WCs to tells them what to do, right? For fuck’s sake, Jeff, this is just pathetic. Get a new script writer. Please?
Then we meet the No Collars – yep, NCs from now on. These people are supposedly free spirits, who are more likely to break the rules than make or follow them. One of them, Hali, is a law student, so, ah, yeah, she’s gonna be all about breaking the rules. Producers, I think you fucked up here, and she belongs with the WCs. Just saying. Yes, I heard her say she’s in it for the poor, but c’mon, by the time she has her degree her view on life may well do a 180. But riddle me this, idiot producers (I’m really trying to get this all off my chest in the first episode. And yes, Master Jeffy, I am very well aware that you have been one of these idiot producers for the last few years), if a law student gets to be an NC, just how in any god’s name does Tyler, an ex-talent agent assistant, get to be a WC? Note that’s ex and assistant. I’m in no way mocking his former choice of a job, I just don’t see how that somehow makes him superior to a law student. Ugh. Let alone be “in  charge” (Jeff’s words – not mine) of anything or anyone. I guess what I’m saying, producers, and yes, I know the chances of your reading this are less than infinitesimal, is why not just have a season where you just split the players up into teams the old fashioned way? The way you did back when we used to enjoy watching.
So, Jeff tells each tribe they need to pick one person to represent them. Max, from WC absolutely doesn’t want to step up, since he has watched Survivor before, and knows it’s usually a mistake to volunteer for leadership so early in the game. Joaquin has no such qualms and volunteers himself. Dan the postal worker is chosen from the BCs and the NCs choose Will because he promises he’ll make them sandwiches. Sandwiches. In the middle of the bush. From… the ocean? That even rocks Jeff. I imagine the entire world drawing circles around their ears with their index fingers. Then Jeff tells Joaquin, Dan and Will to choose a second person to help them to make a decision. So volunteers for the WCs, Mike for the BCs and Jenn for the NCs.
Jeff gives each team a map to their camp and tells them that each pair of leaders must then go off to make said decision.
Nina from NC tells the others she has cochlear implants and they don’t seem too concerned. Remembering the rudeness with which her tribe treated the deaf girl in the Amazon, that’s refreshing. Shortly afterwards Will and Jenn head off to find out about the big decision. Amazingly, it’s a choice between a verb and an adjective. Or to put it another way, they must choose between deceive and honest. Really, producers? You couldn’t manage deception and honesty? No wonder kids of today have such difficulty with grammar. Sigh. If they choose honest, they get a big bag of beans, but if they go for deceive, they get a small bag o’ beans plus a clue to a hidden immunity idol (HII). They choose to be honest.

The BCs also go for honest, only to have Sierra not believe them when they get back. Well, the bag of beans isn’t that big, so I guess I can’t really blame her.

For the WCs, So, being a touch sneaky, reckons it might be a good idea to tell the others that there were three options: honest, deceive and neutral. Joaquin enthusiastically agrees, and they are in an alliance from now on. He thinks she is a cutie. When they get back to camp, they tell the rest they went for the non-existent neutral option, despite the fact they really went for deceive.

The next morning the BCs found some smallish crabs and they made fire, which is a hell of an achievement. One of them (don’t know his name) eats a scorpion, then has to spew it up soon after. Idiot. I think he might be Mike.

On NC, they are having problems building a shelter. Vince who is trying to impress Jenn, is attempting to boss people around, leaving Joe, who has worked in the building game, a bit worried. Then Joe starts a fire! Vince is very, very jealous, especially when Joe wins a hug from Jenn. Vince says he is not romantically interested in her – yeah right – but she explains very sweetly she just wants to be his friend and ally. He then gives her a hug that lasts for about 3 weeks. She is a bit less than impressed. Did I mention that Vince appears to be growing white feathers as well as hair from his head? Wanker.
Meanwhile on the WC, Carolyn is watching So, who is clearly searching for the HII, et voila! Carolyn finds it! Goodonya, love! No one on WC can manage to build a fire.
Reward and Immunity Challenge. The reward is a fire starting kit, which of course only the WCs really need since the other tribe have been able to start fire all by their ownsomes. Even those good for nothing, rule breaking layabouts. The challenge consists of all sorts of obstacles, ladders…bla, bla…yawn…puzzle.
WC is way ahead. They can’t lose! And the WCs are so much brighter – I mean, there’s no competition here! Except the NCs win. And the BCs come second. Hahahaha! So the smarty smarties get to go to TC tonight.
They go back to camp and agree it will be a girl, because they are weaker. Huh? So thinks it should be either Shirin or Carolyn, preferably Carolyn. Carolyn is worried about So. She knows she is lying. She admits to Tyler that she has the idol, and will take it to Tribal Council tonight.
TC.  Bit of a catfight between So and Carolyn. So claims that she is in an alliance of 4 (I can’t remember all the names}, but Tyler is supposed to be one of them, and he seemed pretty tight with Carolyn, as does Max. Hmm. We only see 2 of their votes, and it’s no surprise that Carolyn and So vote for each other.
Carolyn chooses not to play her idol, as So smirks. I guess she thinks none of them has it. She might get a little shock when she watches the show. And here are the votes: Carolyn, So, Carolyn, So, So, So.
So tells us that this is her worst nightmare being first to leave, yet feels the team made a mistake. It hurts her a lot and she’s just trying to absorb it. Word of advice, love: either learn to be a better liar, or just stick to the truth.

Stay tuned for more fascinating drama next week. I hope…

February 27, 2015   22 Comments

My Kitchen Rules Recap – Steve and Will Deliver In Cooking and Quips

Will and Steve the english guys with the playful banter went for an all British menu, which was quite brave considering judge Colin Fassnidge is renowned for that style of cooking.

Entree was Scotch Eggs with herb mayonnaise, main Fish and thrice cooked chips with peas and liquor and dessert was Mrs Stewart’s Chocolate and Hazelnut Roulade

For some strange reason they decided to fillet their own fish and not do what the Vic boys did with the quail and get the professionals to fillet it. But they had been gobby about people not filleting their fish at a previous instant restaurant.

However that was not their first problem as Steve was having issues with the eggs, he kept on overcooking them. Third time he finally got it right. Though even good scotch eggs are overrated in my opinion. They were plated up Jamie Oliver style on a wooden board. The mayo was there just to keep the egg from moving off the plate and there needed to be more.  Colin said the egg was spot on and he said the middle was melting as were all the female viewers at home when Steve smiled.

Drasko thought the egg lack flavour, but he was the only one complaining.

They had not filleted the fish prior to serving the entree. It was going to be  a long wait until main. He sliced the fish well but was having a nightmare pin boning it. And he kept on saying that he did not want a guest getting a bone in their fish which set up the expectation there was going to be one, but surprisingly there wasn’t.

Emma was trying to give Steve the sexy side-eye as he put the plate in front of her. I don’t normally believe romance rumours from the publicity machine but maybe this rumour has legs. Colin thought the fish was moist, he wanted more chips. He thought the peas and liquor were so-so. Drasko loved it but his now wife did not.

The dessert was a bit of drama about the ganache as Will stuffed up by washing a whisk and not drying it before sticking it into the chocolate  and it was like concrete. Steve tried to rectify it but it ended up looking like black tar. At least they did not freak out and just did not put it on the plate, this on top of not rolling the sponge as it was too dry.

Will was bullshitting about about what the latin term of roulade actually means as he presented the plates but no one was buying it.

Scores were

Rob and Dave – 6

Nikki and Katie – 7

Drasko and Bianca – 7

Lynn and Tony – 5

Jane and Emma – 7

For a total score of 32/ 50.

Colin scored the entree a nine, main an eight and dessert a five. Colin’s score is doubled so their total score was 76 and made them the top of the leader board knocking out Rob and Dave.

This year the all male teams are looking like the favourites and Katie and Nikki are cooking next and then one team will be going home.

 

 

 

February 27, 2015   93 Comments

Guest Post: I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here – Julia Morris and Chris Brown Are On Fire (Metaphorically Speaking)

Guest Poster @gidgitvonlarue gives her thoughts on the latest ep:

Let me say I’m on team Dr Chris and Julia Morris side. I think they are really nailing it. They have grown into their banter back and forth and feed off each other comedy wise very well! I’ve always loved Julia’s humour (aside from those pesky Logies) and the fact she’s stopped doing “dot com” and “hashtag” jokes – well bless you Julia.

More shots of the upper Blue Mountains and everyone is wondering if Freddie and Barry will ever make up over ‘bed gate’.  The camp mates are all talking about it, and like me, yes it was a clear threat. Chrissie is trying to smooth over with Barry and he’s a bit thick so he falls for it.  And it’s OCD Barry. I respect ‘military structure’ as my father was in WW2 and like that – but you are not in WW2 Barry – you are on a reality show in South Africa. Calm the farm.

Julia just did ‘forward slash’ so minus one point honey. Sorry. Next tucker trial is Flight or Fright involving a helicopter and Captain Risky? Tonight’s tucker trial is Joel and Julie Masterchef and she’s acting all ‘I’m good’ but I’m predicting that will change in a heart beat…although I think she’s a trooper!

Tucker trial time and Julie Masterchef and Joel are up. It’s a movie quiz and I would nail the living shit out of this! You think I love reality shows – doesn’t even come close to movies.  First is Reese Slitherspoon – Cruel Intentions. And Meryl was NOT in that film Joel. Next – June Black. Oh, June Carter – but pretty sure she married Johnny Black. Gah let me play this! Maybe she just dicked around with him??  Ok I’m not that good. I’m seriously writing this as I watch so all my answers are honest and not googled or revealed. Ants Hathaway – haha! I did NOT know Love and Other Drugs. Les Mis – spot on.  Didn’t know the William Shakespeare one either – probably because I’m not a fan. Yeah I’ll say it. Call me uncouth – can’t stand his work. Julie now has 3 stars so doing ok and Joel has to answer.

Next are Matt Damon questions. I knew all the answers but I’m not sitting in South Africa above a pit of green slush so there is that.  Now is Ryan Gutsling (haha) and this is kinda fun. Poor Julie has to do the hard yards really and Joel just sits on a plank being dunked. Imagine Barry having to answer this – he would not know one thing about Hollywood. I think Daddo would be nailing it, also maybe Chrissie?? Julie has to take on offal and guts and Merv’s farts – ok not Merv’s farts. That would be TOO cruel.

Don’t fret Julie – that offal is still better than most of the stuff cooked on MKR! Boom! Oh you think I’m going to stop bagging the cooking on that show – I’m not. Next is Nic’croc Kidman. Keith Urban, big fake nose (Virginnia Wolf) and Julie has to go into baby Nile crocodile arena and they are babies. Stop freaking out. Oh shit – they aren’t that small. GET OUT! LEAVE THE STARS. GET OUT! Julie is a god damn trooper and I love her even more now. She’s a middle aged, not fit mum of kids and she rocks.  And why are some of these challenges timed and some are not? Merv had all the god damn time on earth to do his challenge! Stop moving the goal posts! Julie says the guts were the worst but I’d find that the easiest to do. Nothing to bite or sting me so all good! Just stinky fingers (what’s new?)

Dr Chris and Julia do a really very funny ‘text’ replacing everyone’s name with Freddie and Barry and it’s really out of the bag compared to the British one so well done Australia! This show has a wonderful feel of crazy none controlled restriction which I love! They are being honest about their control of the audience rather than OTHER ‘reality shows’. I seriously loved that bit so much.  Gold.

Now is Marcia Brady’s third secret mission is cheesy garlic bread and must get a fourth camp mate. As Steph Walker tweeted – she better pick Julie as she would smell that garlic bread a mile off! So true.  Julie is asleep but it then ‘in’ and they have to try and eat VERY strong smelling garlic bread in camp. These are starving people. If I was there I’d be trying to eat Barry’s bed! It is all quite funny and Daddo looks like he’s onto them as does Merv. If you ARE a camp mate and think something is up, like in Celeb Big Brother, don’t say anything. Chances are it’s a reward so keep your mouth shut. Know the game folks – know the game.

I do love how Daddo is always ‘crafting’ – man after my own heart. Daddo is calling out Merv and more respect dude. Merv IS  an absolute shit–stirrer on every level. I’ve met them, I’m sure you have to! They CAN go ‘beyond and over the line’ but mostly they just like riling someone up to see their reaction.  Best way to react to those types is DON’T react. Treat it like a joke, laugh, and give them some shit back. I’d be killer on Farmer wants a Wife only I don’t want to live out of best internet range, cable TV and I do not get up at 6am. But worst would be rural boys knowing nothing about things I love like films, TV, society and drugs….I mean wine….yes wine.

There is quite an interesting convocation at camp about Maypole dancing and ‘girlie’ activities which is really quite interesting and I wish they showed more of this. Surprise – Dr Chris loves Maypole dancing. Who would have thought it?  The camp mates have been there for 27 days and Marcia Brady is freaking out. Oh look it’s Tyson….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  They are all complaining about their beds and to be fair – they have heaps of wasted time – build something. Fix it with bark and leaves. Do something!

Dr Chris and Julia’s walking presentation is now taking the piss and I appreciate that. It is silly and they know it.  Back at camp Jungle Jenga is up. They get butter, (always pull the middle blocks – the outside blocks will hold it up) Anna gets pepper, boring naked traveller gets  tomato sauce – next Freddie is up for ginger and gets it, Barry is trying for ….ginger? I’m lost. Chrissie gets something…I need to rewind.  Typical cook – Julie goes for salt. I would too! Food ain’t good tasting food without salt.  The whole tower comes a crashing and Julie does not have the salt. Oh I’m a Celebrity – you know what you are doing cheeky monkeys! Time for dinner and Julie wants nothing to do with it and it’s Impala, apples etc etc. Julie gets turned off by the smell of the impala and that tucker challenge really fucked Julie up – gone are the days of her being a cook! Get ready for being vegan Julie’s kids!

If you have never watched the British show – the key to this is starving these people and tormenting them with minimal stuff. It’s all controlled and trying to make the ‘celeb’s’ turn on each other and go nuts. Joel has spilt half of the food like a twat & now everyone is like hungry lions. It’s working a treat show! Why would one do this show?? Shit bed, no internet and minimal crap food. Actually I think I lived like that at one time, so never mind.

Tweets for treats time and are these real tweets from the public?  Guess so. Might have to get on that? Can you show this program Friday and Saturday? Go on. Don’t compete – just beat. We are not all out over the weekend you know?

Up next for the tucker trial is….what? Barry and Freddie! What a shock! I’ll be away next week so hopefully it’s over to Steph Walker to do the reviews for the week! I’ll be back next Sunday so behave – and if you can’t…don’t. And be kind kiddies – we all have our different styles of write ups. Party on Garth.

February 27, 2015   38 Comments

America’s Next Top Model Contestant Killed

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Mirjana Puhar, a contestant from America’s Next Top Model,  was found dead with her boyfriend in an apparent triple murder. There was cash scattered around the apartment where she and two others, including her boyfriend were found.

Her series is currently playing on Foxtel.

A 19 year old man has been arrested for her murder. It is suspected the killings were drug related.

Mirjana who was 19 years of age has been modelling since she was 12.

Source: News.com.au

Thanks Dawn for sending it in.

February 26, 2015   3 Comments

My Kitchen Rules – Adam Might Have To Pay Child Support

With the My Kitchen Rules Adam being a deadbeat dad continues today with a lawyer saying his payments or any winnings from MKR could be classified as “a change of circumstances”.

The SMH is reporting that a Slater and Gordon lawyer is states:

Maria Monastiriotis, the head of Slater and Gordon’s family law department in Sydney, said: “If [Andersen] receives an income [from the program], and it’s assessable for tax purposes, it will certainly affect his child support.

“Indeed, if there are any arrears in child support, that money can be earmarked towards those arrears. The Department of Human Services also has the power to request that Channel Seven [or the producers] pay that money directly to them by something called a ‘garnishee order’.”

A former MKR contestant told Fairfax Media that most competitors are paid around $1000 a week. Some, however, avoid paying tax on this by declaring their time on MKR to be a “hobby” rather than a job.

But Monastiriotis said that even if Andersen does not pay tax, his ex-wife can ask the authorities to take this windfall into account.

“There is another avenue available to Cindy,” Monastiriotis said.

“A person has a right to make an application to the child support agency to change an assessment, on the basis that their [ex-partner's] financial circumstances are not truly reflected in the taxable income.

Carol and Adam may have to give up part of their MKRearnings.

“So if Mr Andersen receives winnings from the show – and his financial circumstances significantly change because of that large sum of money – then it would be open to the mother to make an application for a ‘change of assessment’ on the basis that he’s won that money.”

A Current Affair spoke to Adam’s ex-wife who said that he was $35,000 in arrears and that he has no contact with his five children.

February 26, 2015   8 Comments