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Farmer Wants a Wife – Episode 2

Clearly the drought is hitting the Australian farmers hard at the moment, as they seem to be utilising their spare time to go on this tacky TV show The Farmer Takes A Wife.

The premise is six farmers are on the show to find a wife. Channel Nine have crossed the SBS program “Desperately Seeking Sheila” and the US show “The Bachelor”. However they have spent 10% of the other shows budget to produce the show.

Last week the six farmers posted their profiles on the internet, the girls sent in their applications and they picked 10 girls each to do speed dating with.

They were then to choose five girls each to go on a “proper” group date with, which they would then whittle down to two to take on the farm for 10 days.

I was hoping to see Jacinta Tynan on the show at least if she got a boyfriend it may change the whinging “no one is good enough for me” tone in her weekly Sunday Telegraph column.

Brad 30 who describes himself as a sensitive new age farmer took his five ladies to wine tasting tour of the Hunter Valley. “He would really like someone to share his journey with.”Now this guy had been reading to many self help books. His bedtime reading must have been How to Improve Your Emotional IQ and Men are for Mars, and Ladies are from Venus. He also listed about 20 things he is looking for in a woman – which no one can fill. Clearly he has a touch of the Jacinta’s as well.

After stating he wants a meeting of the mines he then honed in straight away on the blonde bimbette flight attendant Chantel. Clearly when it gets down to it men to prefer blondes

She giggled and simpered and said farm life could be fun. She has been reading to many articles on her mentor Katrina Rowntree being engaged to a Victorian farmer.

However as the show progressed, I seriously started worrying about Brad’s mental health. Did Channel 9 psych test this guy prior putting him on the show? There is no way I would be going to an isolated farm with this bloke. Chantel who clearly was not as dumb as she looked was clearly getting the psycho vibe and gave him the “its not you but me” speech when it was clearly “its not me but you” vibe. She told him she was not interested in a farmstay.

He tried to stop his eyes spinning with craziness as he expressed his disappointed to the shows host Natalie (I cannot spell her last name but she is from Getaway) who was looking horrified as she interviewed him.

He then picked Melanie – a social worker, and Jane an exec assistant, who were both thrilled to be selected. However the previews for next week shows that it gets ugly with Brad down on the farm. I hope they removed his rifles prior to their arrival.

Just found his bio he said he reads about spirituality and personal development (could tell that, needs to read more fiction) and also belongs to men’s groups. It just gets worse. His bio his here

Chris 30 from Tamworth who describes himself as a shy guy, got to take his five girls on a harbour cruise. This guy to had crazy eyes not in a psycho way, but in a I am so desperate I have not been with a gal in years kind of look. He was a puppy dog just so eager to please.

I was surprised none of the girls dived over board to swim away as fast as possible. This obviously shows that the hetero male situation in Sydney is at crisis point.

He really clicked with Kimberley a disability support worker, who he picked, and Jocelyn a lawyer which was the first I had seen of her in the whole episode.

This is a criticism I have of the show it kept chopping and changing so you were not able to get to see/know much of the guys let alone the girls. So it was hard to feel either excited or disappointed or in Brad’s case relieved for them.

The last we see of Chris is clutching flowers at Tamworth airport waiting for his ladies to alight. This guy seems a bit simple.

Gus 32 a sixth generation cotton farmer (therefore loaded) is described as cool and confident. He is a foodie and apparently a good cook. He did seem a bit more sophisticated then the others. Also I was impressed with his finesse in making a bed – his skills put mine to shame.

He got to take his girls out for a nice lunch in a top restaurant in Sydney. He at least seemed to be able to hold a conversation, but he did have private school boy written all over him. Also he was about the only one who did not have a clear favourite girl.

He picked Brooke the quarantine officer, and Julie the dental hygienist to be his farmstay girls for the ten days.

Drew 32 from Mudgee describes himself as a lovable larrikin. He got to get up close and personal with his ladies by salsa dancing.

He honed in a Natalie, a scientist, a quiet shy type clearly thinking she is so quiet she must be thinking profound thoughts. He took her aside to the bar, and here she had the big opportunity to make her move, and she just stood their like a mute. Apparently she was not enjoying the salsa as she did not like the touching thing. He struggled to make conversation and she did not get picked.

Outgoing Tash a recoveries officer did, and Susie a communications manager, again I had seen nothing of her prior to her being picked.

Craig 27 describes himself as a dinky di farmer, he came across as laconic (a nice way of saying thick). He took the girls ice skating and zoomed in on Christy, a petite but buxom, outgoing girl. Interestingly enough they never showed her occupation. So either unemployed, stripper, or works for Channel 9.

The was much bitching about her from the other girls. They then all went to a clairvoyant who looked pretty hopeless as did not tell him which girl he would end up with. I thought they were able to predict the future?

In a shock move he did not pick Christy, but Erin a 24 year old single mum, and Deanna. A warning for these girls he had his mum cleaning the house for him. Maybe he would be better sticking with a russian bride.

Jon a rice farmer who is into commitment got a great date where he got to take his five ladies to a day spa. He had the advantage of checking out their bodies prior to picking two of them. He got very little tv time so had no idea what he was like but he did appear sane and quite cute, his bio however is a bit boring. None of them appear to read.

He appeared to click with Jodie a nurse from Sydney and Meika a student nurse. So has a nursing fetish, or just wants someone to look after him. Hopefully we will get to see more of him next week.

The next episode will have the Jack Thompson type scenario where 2 women will be living with one man and sharing him. Hopefully this will bring out the bitchiness in them as this always makes good tv.

Prediction: an intervention will need to be staged at Brad’s place.


1 Anonymous { 11.01.07 at 1:38 pm }

Thank you for your detailed account of last night’s episode. I missed it but am thrilled you’re covering it. Think you might be too kind to Gus the cotton farmer! He is the biggest loser of the lot.

2 Reality Raver { 11.01.07 at 1:47 pm }

Maybe the pesiticides they spray on cotton has done something to his brain.