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Next Top Model Cycle 9 – Episode 1

Watching skinny girls on America’s Next Top Model two nights in a row is enough to make you either starve or comfort eat. Unfortunately I have been doing the latter.

But that is exactly what Janice Dickinson has accused Tyra Banks, show creator, and also the mini Oprah (in more ways then one) of. Janice told high rating morning TV show Today that Tyra Banks is fat.

Janice obviously does not subscribe to the saying “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you” as Janice has been a semi-regular guest on Next Top Model. I expect this will be the last we will see of her on this show.

Last week after a week in the Caribbean on a cruise ship the girls were whittled down to a final 13, and flown to model house in LA.

The interesting ones appear to be Heather with asperger syndrome, which throughout the program they told us 10 times what it was. I think we got it the first time. For those who missed it it is a mild form of Autism ie difficulty in following appropriate social norms and interactions.

The interesting contestants at this stage are Ebony tough girl from Chicago who the girls have taken a dislike to. Victoria a Yale student who I think has a eating disorder, and Lisa an exotic dancer from New Jersey.

The episode starts with Jay Manuel, fashion shoot director, telling them that this cycle is going to be “the green season”.

So there mode of transport will be a winnebago that run on 100% biodiesel. If you had claustrophobia it was not going to be helped by this van as it had no windows. Also for the safety conscience no seat belts.

The other green initiative they were implementing was keeping the showers to a maximum of 10 minutes. These girls would drain the Sydney dam in a week with those showers. How long were their showers in the first place?

The first shoot was to promote anti-smoking. To make it seem non glamorous. I am not sure if this was a green policy or to do with the fact over 90% of models smoke. They have to do something with their mouth if they are not eating.

The aim of the shoot was to do one before shot that was glamorous with a cigarette, and then one after shot with the hideous effects of smoking shown. Eg chemo, lost baby, ulcers, premature ageing, coughing up blood.

Saleisha and Heather had to do a two person shot to show the effects of second hand smoke – it looked like a lesbian soft porn shot.

Bianca a girl from queens and Lisa the New Jersey girl were fighting backstage, which resulted in tears when Bianca said what type of role model are you because of your exotic dancing. Jay Manuel had to come back and tell them to settle down and be nice to each other.

After the shoot they were back at the house in the pool, and I thought it was ironic in one of the scenes behind a girl was a packet of cigarettes. Mixed messages for the young fans out there.

Heather with her aspergers was having difficulty mixing with the other girls. This of course was not helped by the girls talking loudly about her so she could hear.

The next morning out on the balcony out popped Miss Jay looking decidedly butch and preppy, telling them they were off to an Old Navy store.

There Benny Ninja some midget posing instructor who has been on previous cycles of the show was there to tell them they had 10mins to find an outfit and they would be judged on it by the panel at elimination time.

Benny’s only other role was to time the 10 minutes with a stopwatch and bob about the store like a munchkin going “only 3 mins” left and then his cameo was completed. I wonder how much he got paid for that!

I pity the poor people who had to clear up after the mess of clothes the girls left on the floor.

The judges were the usual suspects Twiggy (apparently this is her last season), Miss Jay again looking butch, what is happening to him has he had some sort of epiphany or did he just look at past episodes and see how ridiculous he looked.

Nigel Barker, british photographer, and judge, and of course Tyra.

It is then announced that whoever picked the best outfit would win $1000, and be in an Old Navy shoot. So Saleisha was understandably stoked that she won. She also had been quite sensible with her choice of just a simple sun dress. She did not try to over accessorise.

The it was elimination time. Bianca needed more life in hers. Ebony was just too stiff. Heather looked stunning, as did Lisa.

After a fierce debate where Nigel said that Ebony was his favourite look, the bottom two were Ebony for bad photos, and Mila, a giggly white girl.

In the end Mila was eliminated as she was just a pretty girl not a model. She was shocked as she told the cameras she had thought she was going to win this season’s Next Top Model.

The girls went back to there now nicotine free house to prepare for another day.