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My Kid Is A Star – Episode 1

My Kid is a Star is a show about 10 barely talented kids, and nine deluded parents going to be a ratings winner for Channel 9? I am sure they are hoping so, considering they imported three people from Los Angeles to be in it.

Clearly none of the other Daddo brothers were available as Cameron, who has been trying to have a career in the US for over a decade was brought home to host the show.

Danny Bonaduce, possibly the ugliest man on TV, who was on the US version of the show is here, and Marki Costello an agent from LA was also imported. To be fair if Marki was not in it the show would be very dull.

Our local talent is Max Markson, a person who prides himself on being able to spruik anything. In fact he can is has managed to get a commercial contract for the Corey Worthington whose greatest claim is holding a massive party, wearing yellow sunglasses, and being a complet dickhead. I wonder what his major selling point is?

The tackiness of the show was enhanced by the shows ‘star’ Danny Bonaduce arriving at the Dural mansion in a white limo.

He then proceeded to compare his fall from fame and comeback in the same breath as Drew Barrymore, Lindsay Lohan, and Britany Spears. At this stage all but one; Britany; have avoided reality tv.

The contestants then got to showcase their kids in front of the three judges:
Kristina (29) and TJ (10) – Kristina reminded me of a character Toni Collette might play. Her performance was sing “Dancing In The Street” in a cute way. The judges loved her but did not think she was hugely talented.

Maro and Thomas (16) – Maro proved later in the show she was the only undeluded mother by saying she didn’t think her son would win the show as he was still lacking in some areas. In fact I found Thomas’s break dance routine one of the most enjoyable.

Shane and Dale (14) the only dad in the house who was trying to coach his singing son who really looked like he did not want to be there. His dads criticism was he was not moving enough, and sure enough after the performance that is what the judges criticised him for. Just what every 14 year old wants to have his dad proven correct. But the question is does this kid want to be a star?

Victoria-Rose(14) and Irena are” here to win.” Victoria-Rose’s routine and fluro outfit was something out of Razzle-Dazzle, or an end of year dance production. She looked like she had been hit with a glitter bomb, and really her performance was fairly mediocre.

They were a bit shocked when Marki said it would have been more appropriate to have her dressed in jeans and tshirt. If she wants a career in lycra and glitter she should start body building now and apply for the third incarnation of Gladiators in 15 years time.

Natalia and Amber a single mum and daughter team. Amber wants to win to have the life she wants. I think she wants to emulate Lindsay Lohan or Britany. Max Markson said she had a great voice.

Thereza, a former pop tart from a band called Dollar from Britain seems to be wanting fame for her son, and has some regrets of her own for blowing her fame and money when she had the chance. Having said that she did seem like one of the saner parents in the house. Her son Sam was an ok dancer but as Marki said he needs a more commercial aspect. And he is some years off entering So You Think You Can Dance!

Claudia (9) and Rachel were next. She thought her child was extremely talented and proceeded to bitch about TJ and her cuteness but lack of talent. Claudia sang “We Are Australian” which was a little bit too cute for me.

Marki said “So much confidence…. to much make up”

Next was Louise (what work has she had done?) and Max (15) a talented tap dancer.

Danny B said “Some of the best tap dancing I’ve seen”

But as Marki pointed out “Need to look for a brand” or a revival of Tap Dogs.

I don’t know why these older boys (all dancers) are on the show, wouldn’t they have been better to wait a few years and apply for SYTYCD? Which on the Reality TV scale of credibility is probably higher up the food chain.

Jennie and Ashleigh (15) got panned for over sexualising. Ashleigh did a cheerleader type routine which was fairly unspectacular, but clear Britany was a role model.

Danny B said “You look like a women” and he squirmed when Marki asked him if he found her sexy which he replied that he did. To be honest I thought he was squirming because he actually thought she wasn’t sexy but knew the best answer to give was that she was.

Marki thought “Outfit to sexy and revealing for a 15 year old.”

I thought she was fairly ordinary in talent, and mother fairly deluded about her daughters star potential, she has spent over $100,000 on her daughters development. Probably would have been better going towards her education.

Then it was elimination time and Louise and Max got the stand out team for the week, there didn’t appear to be a prize for that. But considering first prize for winning the whole thing is only $50,000 they are obviously on a very tight budget.

Victoria-Rose and Irene were eliminated as they were deemed to be not ready yet. Irene looked pissed off, but Victoria-Rose seemed to cope with the ignominy of being the first child punted, with the parting words of “I have much more talent then some in the house,” and “Remember this face.”

I noticed in the kids room once the eviction had occurred some of the younger kids crying. I found this vaguely disturbing, is this what is classified as good TV these days?


1 Anonymous { 04.11.08 at 3:59 pm }

Ohmygawd, a posting that isn’t about Idol or “˜so you think you can dance’, this is a real treat!

I have to say, Raver, that though I only browse your blog occasionally, and enjoy your commentaries, I am forced to question your purported addiction to reality tv.

Idol and so you think you can dance do not make up the sum of the reality tv world.

Aren’t your veins aching for an injection of the almost unbelievable “˜Laddette to Lady’, or a bit of kitchen flagellation in Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, let alone the much maligned Chopping Block (now finished), or the hilarious British offering “˜Bargain Hunt’ where teams of English bogans compete with each other to buy the most spectacularly ugly copper-art style ornaments at antique fairs?

I am not saying I need nor want a full run down of every reality tv episode on air, but for someone who is a purported “˜junkie’ I would certainly like a site that keeps us up to date on a few shows other than idol and dance.

I think a real honest to goodness reality tv smackie should be giving us passing observations on a whole range of shows and topics – why reality tv shouldn’t be allowed to cover graphic medical operations on fat people, ever; or tackle some of the big questions like do we need more Daddo in our lives? Do we need more than one version of bondi rescue on the air? How much of “˜missing persons unit’ is prepared by police media as a screen for real police inadequacies? How can “˜border security’ a show about the most boring bureaucratic part of any traveler’s life, ie standing in line at customs, be so popular?

I must apologise, I feel I am beginning to rant / rave. And it may be unfair to put all of this responsibility on to just one Raver.

Still I’d like to know if you do indeed crave reality trash beyond just idol and dance, and if so when we might see some more reality ravings on offer?

Yours in addiction

2 Reality Raver { 04.11.08 at 10:04 pm }

Anon: Thank you for reading my blog and for the feedback.

Yes I acknowledge there are a lot of SYTYCD (my current fave) and also as a site traffic slut this brings in a lot of traffic.

Unfortunately I have only so much time to blog – due to work, and trying to avoid a report to the DOC’s helpline.

However the good news is as of today I have increased my blogging capacity by changing to a notebook, and wireless internet.

Also I do have half written blogs that have not been posted on things like the Gordon Ramsey swearing debate that unfortunately were not finished and then suddenly they are not current.

I must admit I thought I was the only fan of The Chopping Block in Australia – always amazed me on some episodes on how dumb some of these people were that were running large resturants.

I am just a newcomer to Laddette to Lady – so expect a post on that one soon.

I don’t consider Bargain Hunt to be reality TV and anyway since David Dickinson left the new dandy is not doing it for me.

However I will take your comments on board and expand my raver range.

Rantings welcome anytime.