Australia’s Next Top Model – Anger Management
It’s makeover time on ANTM and Joh Bailey is giving the girls new hair. Thank God – Madison needs it!
Sarah tries to soften the girls up by telling them that “being a chameleon” is important in modelling. I hear this as “being a comedian”, which confuses me greatly for a moment. Still, if it’s “chameleon” they’re going for, I’m not sure why they then turn to bright red for Adele. She’s immediately nicknamed Fanta Pants and Ranga, so it is worth it.
There’s always one girl who doesn’t want her precious locks touched by the likes of a hack like Mr Bailey. This year, it’s Frankie. Jonathan, the douche, tells Frankie that her hair is “shopping mall” and clearly she’s not okay with that. Who would be? I don’t really understand why Sarah and Douchethan do this part of the segment – why doesn’t Joh (you know, the professional hairdresser) do the hair chat? Maybe that would help the girls realise that they are in good hands. Oh, that’s right, it’s not about putting them at ease. Frankie threatens to quit, but caves and gets a short crop and darker colour for her cooperation.
Madison’s hair looks better, but it couldn’t have looked worse. Cassie is happy with her hair, since she thinks it’s exactly what she always gets done.
After the Maybelline makeover, it’s a Maybelline shoot, where the girls have to emerge from a car and deliver a line to the camera. A line of their own invention, apparently.
There’s some gamesmanship – Frankie, sensibly, keeps her ideas to herself, judging that some of the other girls might be unscrupulous line thieves. Cassie is not so circumspect and shows off her line to Lola, who immediately decides to plagiarise. Lola really does sell it, far better than Cassie would have. Predictably, Cassie cracks the shits. As Madison says: “That is, like, major angerness”, and her hair is back to its normal state of dry frizz.
Lola wins the Maybelline shoot. Great prize: lots of things were said, but I lost focus at Jimmy Choo shoes. Lola will look great in them.
Next challenge is a “beauty shoot” in the park, which apparently means “softness”. Whatever. Madison looks like a Dolly cover girl, in every circumstance.
Douchethan is trying to get his own Tyra catchphrase, but it’s not working: “Keep your eyes alive”. Unfortunately Cassie does well again so it looks like she’ll be staying. I’ll say it right here: I love Tahnee.
The elimination is brought forward a day and the nerves in the model house are a-jangle. As a result, everybody starts calling Frankie out on being a backstabbing bitch.
Looking at photos. Wondering who some of these girls are. Judging. And Georgie’s out. Buh-bye.
- Line of the night: “I don’t know that beauty is your forte” (Alex Perry)