Rachel Zoe Project – The entire world is watching!
New York City, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Still?
There are five days until the Oscars and RZ is in panic mode. We recap the taffeta “train option” that Armani’s people have developed for the Anne Hathaway dress. Rachel is adamant – NO. And, seriously, it’s hideous. It looks like Lady Di’s wedding dress.
Train number two is much floatier and lighter, but still very long. It’s sparkly and Rachel describes it as “literally, it’s a breath of [loud exhale]…” Breath? Well, here’s a person who uses the word “literally” properly.
Brad is being given the “Annie” responsibility for Oscar day. Taylor will be pissed off – she’s helping Liv find everyday clothes, once she finishes styling Jennifer for a shoot that doesn’t show any wardrobe… Oh, she’s also styling Demi for the Oscar party she’s hosting with Madonna, so that’s probably a biggish deal. Taylor’s chosen a jersey-ish black number that looks like something a teenage goth would wear. It has zips up the sleeves.
It’s time for Marc Jacobs fashion show – Rachel’s running late and Joey thinks she should make an effort to be punctual given that she missed last year’s show. We get a recap of Rachel and Rodger poring over the New York Magazine website after that debacle. This year’s hold-up seems to be that Rachel wants to wear pants. At least, that seems to be Joey’s interpretation of events. There’s an attempt to build some drama over the time, but it’s in vain. She makes it to the show. And she likes the fucking frocks.
Back in LA and Rachel seems to be wearing a tunic and a coat over pants. There are four days until the Oscars, but Liv needs her day-to-day wear so Rachel doesn’t really care about Taylor’s whinging over the In Style shoot. Rachel pulls half the shop and brandishes a sheer black number that will apparently become Liv’s go-to outfit for running around with flip flops.
Brad knows he’s up against it with the Oscars, given how much of a clusterfuck the previous year was. I love Brad and I hope he does well, but I will be disappointed if the only sobbing breakdown turns out to be that clip from last year. Fresh drama, Brad!
Liv’s coming to try on clothes and, for some reason, Brad’s assisting with the fitting. I’m starting to wonder exactly what it is Taylor does? Liv’s excited that she has so many clothes to choose from. If she has any sort of problem making decisions, this is not going to be easy. Rachel really wants her to get a little red dress but it’s a bit… meh. We find out that she’s never owned a leather jacket and attributes it to growing up with her rocker dad. Rachel would love to have a crack at Steve Tyler’s closet, for some reason. “Your body looks… ba-nanas!” says Rachel, when Liv emerges in a real va-va-voom number. But then she also tells her she looks great in a saggy, baggy playsuit which is exactly what you’d hear from a Supre salesgirl if she was on commission.
Rachel’s freaking out that Brad might not be up to handling Annie. Rodger tells RZ that “it’s not surgery” which is SO true , but also SO irrelevant, and will SO be used in court if there’s ever a divorce hearing.
We cut to Brad who is freaking out a tad over the fact that he only has one seamstress for Annie’s fitting. Taylor calls in and asks Brad to help her out with some things for Demi and she thinks he’s giving her attitude because he can’t help. Rachel needs to sit these two down and tell Taylor to wake up and realise that Brad’s not her bitch.
Rachel has had an urgent call because Annie needs another dress for a surprise dance number. Rachel wishes she’d had more notice, but… “surprise dance number”, Rachel. Literally! They now seem to have TONS of red carpet gowns, but nothing a gal can move in. Rachel pulls a fluffy looking ball dress but wants more options; Brad’s all “eh, this one will do” which is interpreted as not caring.
Rachel is with Taylor for the In Style shoot so Taylor takes the opportunity to diss Brad about his “attitude”. Oh, god, Rachel – please review the tapes before you attack Brad on Taylor’s say-so. Of course, Brad’s probably going to melt down anyway, since he’s just discovered that he only has an hour to fit with Anne. Rachel wants Brad to get more time, but the “more time” is going to be earlier rather than later and that just won’t fit with Rachel’s schedule.
Joey suggests just heading to American Apparel and sending Annie down the runway in a hoodie. As Brad and Joey work through this idea – you know, having fun, trying to get through the stress – Marisa-the-downer walks in. Rachel manages to get back for the Armani fitting but she missed the dance number dress fitting and this concerns her, despite Brad’s assurances that it was all good.
“When Annie put on the Armani without the train… it was just perfection!” Wow, so, Rachel, are you admitting that the designers actually KNOW what they’re doing? Who’d’ve thunk?
Rachel now confronts Brad over his brattitude. Of course, they end up having a laugh about it – RZ differentiates her “passive aggressive” tendencies from Brad’s “snarky”.
Taylor’s got the In Style shoot sorted so is back to pulling jewellery for Demi. She wants to “drip her in diamonds by the yards”. She expresses her relief that this is her one responsibility for the Oscars, so why doesn’t she cut Brad some slack?
It’s time to choose clutches. It’s important that the client can hold it comfortably, and fit their “personal items” into it. Of course. While they’re bonding over glittery purses, Rachel tells Brad to take some Immodium for the Oscars. I think that crosses boundaries. It’s all laughy laughy and then Brad starts to cry. Did I miss something?
Brad’s dancing around, demonstrating how jewellery might ruin the “surprise number” dress. He’s been at rehearsal and has Hugh’s steps down. All is cool, until conversation turns to undies. Jordan has broken out the “undergarment” but she couldn’t get it in the right size. Rachel’s calling it a disaster and blaming Brad, since he’s Jordan’s “boss”. There should be an org chart – that might help Taylor, too.
Rachel calls Brad and Jordan’s not in at work yet, which is – of course – Brad’s fault. Do you think he’ll remind Rachel of this if Taylor’s late? Jordan is hopeless, though, trying to pull the old “wow, I’m half an hour early! You said 10!” when she comes in at 9.30. We’ve all tried that. Nobody’s ever been fooled by it.
“THE ENTIRE WORLD WATCHES THE OSCARS!” Rachel wants to know why Rodger is always so calm. There are so many possible answers to that question that it’s impossible to settle on just one.
A bowtied Brad is on his way to the Oscars. While he’s driving, he calls Rachel to let her know that there’s a “disaster” with Annie’s performance dress – the tulle is irritating her skin. Rachel suggests moleskin and Brad says it’s under control. So, perhaps not such a disaster. Perhaps Rodger can give Brad some “tips” on stress control.
Red carpet. Rachel is on the couch with Rodger and Taylor, crying “where’s Annie!” plaintively. Rodger makes appropriate “wow” noises. Rachel thinks that Brad’s dream has come true, but I would have liked to have seen some tears and discarded Immodium packets.
Brad got to see Zac Efron, which thrilled him, and managed to restrain himself from doing the “Single Ladies” dance in front of Beyonce. The bracelet didn’t catch on the tulle! Mission accomplished!