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Rachel Zoe – Paris fashion week

Previously, on the Rachel Zoe Project: RZ was the world’s least effective boss; Taylor had the least enviable task since Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son; Brad was the world’s least sensitive colleague.

None of that matters, though, because… Paris! “I’m so excited for Paris” says Rachel. Yeah, lucky Paris, having you and your entourage there. She’s brought five suitcases for six days and is worried that she won’t have enough to wear. Rodger thinks it sucks that Taylor’s not there and Rachel admits that she should have been more of a boss in managing that.

Brad’s unpacking, carefully, because he likes everything set up like a “fig”? Is that a thing? Or did I mishear?

The Zoe crew is going through the schedule. RZ says “it’s all work” but it sounds like all fun. Ungaro, Lacroix, Vuitton. It’s important that Rach and Rodg are together – Paris is, after all, their town.

First show: Lacroix. Lots of lace. It really is 1982. “Embroidery. Crazy cuts. Bows. It is Parisian chic at its finest” is Brad’s take. Rachel assures Christian Lacroix that he makes women looks beautiful. I’m sure he’s relieved. Rachel notes that she’s been to Paris, like, 100 times and she still doesn’t know where she is. “You don’t know where you are when you’re in LA!” says Rodger. Now I know what his job is – to deliver a spot-on one-liner once a season.

Ungaro. Another ’80s revival. Brad’s hoping that the diamante leggings will be “a trend everywhere”. God help us. It’s all “so Cameron”.

Back in LA, Taylor’s mournfully going through the clothes racks. She reminds us why she’s there: Demi and Jen. “I wanted to go, and I don’t usually want to go to anything.”

Joey and Rodger are taking happy snaps in the boulevards. Joey’s obviously only there to keep Rodger company – he’s Rachel’s proxy.

Brad and Rachel are off to Chanel – not just to the retail outlet, but to visit the apartment! Marie-Louise
de Clermont-Tonnerre greets them with a jacket for Rachel. “I feel like these are the doors of heaven,” breathes Rachel, who takes up Coco’s position on Coco’s lounge. Taylor would’ve been loving this. Rachel’s having an “I can’t believe this is happening” moment.

Rachel’s previewing the collection at Giambattista Valli and is trying on a fluffy peacock jacket. It really is bananas. En route to Stella McCartney’s shows, Rachel reminds us that Paris is a beautiful city. Once at the show, she tells us that she did her senior thesis on John Lennon and “I literally DIE for Paul McCartney”. While she’s doing that, Brad’s trying to find his seat. I was hoping that he’d be left off the list – why include this sequence otherwise? – but no. He’s in B61. Rachel needs EVERY SINGLE THING from Stella IN HER STUDIO, RIGHT NOW.

Sightseeing. Then shopping. They get to Didier Ludot – Rodger is looking nervous. Particularly since Rachel is trying to assuage her guilt over Taylor’s absence by buying her something expensive. Brad’s trying on a vintage leather trench coat which is “beyond! OOC”. Rachel helpfully interprets this as “out of control” for Didier. She is trying to convince Brad that he needs the coat, which is clearly a little out of his price range, so she offers him a raise.

Back in LA, Taylor’s trying to sort out an ad campaign. It’s actually Brad’s job and the client doesn’t like any of the dresses he’d sent over. “It’s a complete disaster!” says Rachel aaaand the chest pains are back. That massive Starbucks she was drinking would be exactly what I’d prescribe to relieve hypertension…

As Rachel predicted, Taylor is pissed off when she gets the email asking her to sort out Brad’s mess, although he has also been told to pitch in. “I’m going to have to work while I’m in Paris” says Brad as he heads off to pull dresses in Paris for this ad client. He’s gone to see Erin Fetherson to see what they can find. On the other side of the pond (and then across the country), Taylor is making sure they have “like, 50 thousand options”.

At the John Galliano show, there is no “where’s my seat?” drama, but lots of snow flurries and dramatic lighting. The clothes look like traditional wear from Eastern Europe, apart from the sheer black number and the platforms with pom-poms. “It’s just every girl’s dream!” says Rachel, who apparently had a “fashion orgasm”. Rachel finally makes her way through the “clusterfuck” to meet John Galliano. Once she’s gushed to him, and introduced Brad, music starts which seems to be the cue for Rachel to start raiding shoe boxes that are straight from the runway.

The next day in LA, Taylor’s managed to placate the client. Is she feeling satisfied, now that she’s managed the crisis so effectively? “I’m extremely unhappy right now… with my job.” So, that’s a no.

Chanel show. “I would have really loved it if Taylor was at Chanel,” says Brad, somewhat insensitively. Rachel: “Literally die watching his show. Every time.” Maybe that’s what Rachel’s mystery illness is? In fact, she’s suddenly struck by nausea in the presence of Karl. “I literally felt, like, vomit coming up,” she tells Brad after her little bit of face time with Karl.

Rodger’s bemoaning the fact that he never gets to see Rachel during fashion week. “If I didn’t come with her, I wouldn’t get to see her,” he interviews, while Rachel and Brad sit down for coffee to debrief over the Chanel show. She’s emotional because she’s given Brad “his first Paris”. She hasn’t forgotten Taylor, though. Oh, no – they both miss her! That’ll make up for Brad having his first Paris before she does.

Brad phones her the next day to thank her for “helping us with the ad job”. Helping? Try doing the ad job. Argh, he’s being a tool. Taylor asks what shows they’ve been to and he doesn’t say, “oh, Ungaro, McCartney…Chanel”, he hits her straight away with “Chanel… The whole place was completely packed except for the seat next to me was empty and I kept pretending you were there.” God, Brad, as if that’s going to make her feel better.

Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton. Brad and Rachel are trying on the bunny ears. “Every single piece in that show… was perfection” Rachel tells Marc. At least she doesn’t vomit on him.

Rachel returns to the hotel with Taylor’s present. Oh, and a jacket for herself. Then she stabs Rodger in the eye. In return, he gives her a photo album, since he is now, apparently, the “official RZ Inc photographer”. “Honey, you’re a really good photographer!” says Rachel, betraying quite a bit of surprise given that she must be the person who’s made him official photographer.

Taylor’s parents have come to visit her in LA. She tells them that she’s annoyed over the Paris situation and they seem to think she’s being impatient. Taylor thinks they’re taking Rachel’s side. Dad counsels her to have a sensible conversation with Rachel; Mum seems to have styled her look, and personal warmth, on Anna Wintour.

Back in Paris, Rodger’s trying to get Rachel to eat snails. Joey has a crack at them, but Rachel refuses to. Their Paris sojourn has come to an end – they drink a toast to themselves. Then one to Taylor. That’ll make up for her missing the trip, I’m sure.