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Today Tonight – Altiyan Childs Seriously How Old Is He?

OK I have now watched the Today Tonight interview, and first I have to say my readers are smarter than the average bear.

Brain Dead Dave for months has been predicting for months that Altiyan would be back driving forklifts sometimes soon and it looks like that will be true.

Culinary Boner also said Steve Gold and the Altourage had model themselves on the show Entourage and Ari Gold and he was right.

I am starting think our Charles Manson cult theory is right – did you see the tattoo of the number nine on Altiyan’s neck.

Here are a few thoughts on the interview:

  • What is Altiyan’s mental age? He is 36 (similar age to me) and his thought processes are like a 12 year old. Brain Dead Dave (regular commenter for new readers) alluded to the similarities to Michael Jackson in jest, but Altiyan has this Peter Pan complex, a boy who won’t grow up. He just seems very simple.
  • The 15 year olds body language screamed get me out of here. In fact she didn’t look comfortable at all having him touch her. I think it is her mother who is wanting to shag him, she was all over him. Also disturbing she made him executor to her will after only knowing him for two months.
  • The 19 year old girlfriend, Nikki Kingston looked like she was propping him up. I now suspect Altiyan is incapable of having a relationship with anyone with a higher mental age of 20.
  • The gist of the story was Steve Gold has ripped off Altiyan’s winnings. I kind of feel sorry for him, but he is 36, so should have been a bit savvier in getting proof of his financial status.
  • There were no questions regarding whether he knew about the illegal substances, but there were lots of tears.
  • His father was in the story, but thankfully they did not interview him, if any of his Facebook rantings are anything to go by,
  • And finally Altiyan who is broke again got taken for a ride, by not being paid for the interview.

Oh and Altiyan just because you are misunderstood does not make you an artist.


1 scruffnkelsmum { 04.11.11 at 8:44 pm }

well said McDuff…. :):)

2 davsimp { 04.11.11 at 9:01 pm }

Well it finally aired here in WA (wait awhile) and yes RR if he WAS done over by that Yankitoff dude then I too feel sympathy for him.

The 15 year old looked like a deer caught in the head lights whilst her Ma looked like she was ready to tear the rags off the poor wretch. And we know he is poor, because he told us. As for the 19 year old, she seemed to be almost cringing in parts.

Altiyan missed a golden opporuinity to put his P.O.V. across, opting instead for wild hand gestures and chewbacca the wookie noises. (Will not repeat what my buddie had to say during the whole interview/fiasco)

Anyway, I’m feeling majorly ripped off here, I am sure I was promised footage of yankitoff fleeing out of the window in his undies. Anyone know what colour they were?

3 brain dead dave { 04.11.11 at 9:13 pm }

Yeah,it definitely looked like the mother was up for it,too. It was like an episode of Jerry Springer “Hillbilly Love Triangles”

Thanks for the mention,RR.

4 Reality Raver { 04.11.11 at 9:22 pm }

Davisimp – Chewbacca – oh that is Gold pun intended. I wonder if police are investigating the guy for fraud.
Do you think Yankuloff will be on ACA tomorrow night?

BDD – props were due babe, props were due. Plus you been having frigging trench warfare with some of those Altiyan fans. By the way the 9.09 listening of atliyan’s music is occurring on the fan page.

5 suziwong66 { 04.11.11 at 9:36 pm }

Dear Brain Dead Dave,
RE: “It was like an episode of Jerry Springer “Hillbilly Love Triangles””

I’m going to try very hard not to be creepy Altiyan style, but i think i love you LMAO

6 brain dead dave { 04.11.11 at 9:37 pm }

Would Altiyan even be aware that before he would even see a cent from the album,the cost of recording and promoting it is taken out? Since he’s composed none of the material he won’t get a songwriting royalty. That’ll go to U2,Bon Jovi etc..the poor buggers whose work he’s exhumed and violated.

Then there’s the cost of producing a film clip.Wes Carr’s clip cost $20,000 a couple of years ago and that had to be shot twice.

7 brain dead dave { 04.11.11 at 9:47 pm }

Thank you suziwong 66, very kind of you.

8 Paul { 04.11.11 at 9:51 pm }

All I can say is thank god I never watched this shite.

9 joan { 04.11.11 at 10:15 pm }

This just popped up on the Culturage facebook page so did Sony flick him already?

Kerrie Hadfield
Any investors around wanting to help sink some money into a VERY worthwhile venture – what about a group effort to fund Alts album?

10 davsimp { 04.11.11 at 10:16 pm }

suziwong, join the queue sister, we all love BDD. I have had food come out of my nose whilst reading his posts.

11 Reality Raver { 04.11.11 at 10:21 pm }

Now the cult of BDD is one I WOULD join.

Joan – oh god maybe the “devil” is stopping it being made or a reason. Maybe the 15 yr old is meant to be the virgin sacrifice to appease the gods.

12 jord { 04.11.11 at 11:02 pm }

Did he actually say that he had lice or did i mishear him?

13 joan { 04.11.11 at 11:16 pm }

Jord yes he said he had lice because he loves his fans to much, oh dear the cultirage have lice :-(

14 Reality Raver { 04.11.11 at 11:16 pm }

Jord – no you did not – the question I want answered was whether it was pubic or head lice.

15 Reality Raver { 04.11.11 at 11:18 pm }

Joan – I was worried there for awhile he might have been hanging with my 6 year old.

16 joan { 04.11.11 at 11:25 pm }

RR scary thought!!

17 Kaylen { 04.11.11 at 11:27 pm }

RR – eeewwwwwwwwwww. Thoughts about Altiyan have entered my head that were never supposed to be there! eeewwwwwww.

It was probably the former, though. His fans don’t seem very clean (or sane). 😉

In re: to the interview. Felt uncomfortable throughout; it’s like he isn’t totally there. Surely he can’t be that naive? Or that creepy?

I felt really uncomfortable when he interacted with the 15 year old. I half expected him to do something illegal.

I think the 15 year old was fearing that, also, by the look on her face!

Man. How sad. Props to the 19 year old for taking him for a ride, though! Take advantage of him while he’s still got some fame left, girlfriend! 😉

Wonder how long before his fans start returning here, demanding their apology they said we would owe them after this aired?

hahaha. Yeah right!

18 brain dead dave { 04.11.11 at 11:46 pm }

As far as I know, head lice prefer clean hair meaning Altiyan should be relatively safe. Surely he’s not that broke he can’t buy some cheap hair conditioner or pinch some from a motel.

Crabs will happily set up house in eyebrows ,however and hasn’t he got a bushy pair of them?

19 raiden { 04.12.11 at 1:34 am }

Of course Elle did not want to be there, the bullshit pedophilia accusations are not new and she has been dealing with it for months. They are genuinely friends though, she calls him Uncle Alty.

Altiyan’s number 9 tattoo has been there since 2004 so I do not know what you are on about there…

Altiyan was naive and people close to him have lamented his lack of street smarts but it does not make him any of the horrible things he has been accused of ever since X-Factor started.

Apart from the money that Altiyan lost, personal details of many fans were obtained through a scam fan club advertised on the Altourage Crew Facebook account (now deleted).

And for the record, Facebook is not an accurate representation of Altiyan’s fan base; I often speak to fans who resent being associated with that mob that seems to think the man is God Himself.

20 Culinary Boner { 04.12.11 at 9:30 am }

He surely meant crabs not lice. Frank Zappa covered this very topic in his cautionary tale about the perils of living in ‘band’ houses on the very aptly named “We’re Only In It For The Money”:-
Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street


First I’ll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
I will sleep . . .
I will, I will go to a house
That’s, that’s what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there’s a rock & roll band
‘Cause the groups all live together
And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their road manager
And I will stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won’t care
Because . . .

21 davsimp { 04.12.11 at 10:25 am }

Here is the link for those who missed it.

“Yes Australia I have lice because I love my fans just a little too much” I mean WTF?? I won’t be able to read their facebook cult page now without scratching my head.

22 brain dead dave { 04.12.11 at 10:43 am }

He admitted on national TV that he’s a lousy performer.

I’m lovin’ how Culty Kezza’s got on to the front foot and floating the idea of the Cultourage coughing up to fund the doomed album of originals. Not like a cult at all to ask members to bankroll the fantasies of the leader.

Spot on Boner. I’ve got that album.

Then you’ve got Deep Purple’s “A200”,inspired by a the name of a product used to treat crab infestations.

“Crabsody In Blue”‘ from AC/DC comes to mind,too.

23 seekoutthetruth { 04.12.11 at 11:42 am }

Do not believe everything you saw on that show, a lot of people are covering up the truth. All the blame is being put on the ex manager. Yes he is dodgy as all hell, but so is Altiyan, people in the music industry behind the scenes know the truth, the 15 yr old and her family got some of this money. That mother disgusts me!!!!!!! Do some digging around and you will find out what really has gone on.

24 joan { 04.12.11 at 12:04 pm }

I didn’t believe a lot of it the 15 yr old did not want to be in the position she was in, lol at the Cultirage fan on poor old Kochie’s wall wanting Kochie to organise a benefit concert for Altiyan and his family BIG lol’s

25 brain dead dave { 04.12.11 at 12:10 pm }

Yeah,normally I can’t stand Kochie but in this situation I’m feeling twinges of compassion for him.

26 Culinary Boner { 04.12.11 at 12:39 pm }

Hey BDD, nice record choices mate. Further to Altiyan and his acolyte’s continued vocational training in the perils of sleeping in rock ‘group’ houses they might also want to consider ACDC’s following cautionary tale (one that’s guaranteed to have Alt’s tearing up a couple of times a day more than usual).

You tell ’em Bon, you ol’ misogynist you:
“Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played ’em fast
And she played ’em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she’d been shuffled before
Said she’d never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin’
From the bottom of the pack
And if I’d known what she was dealin’ out
I’d have dealt it back
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, and who knows what else?
She’s got the jack, yeah, yeah
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey”

27 slippycaff { 04.12.11 at 1:29 pm }

She may be 19, but she sure looks 16. Ewww. Gross.

28 joan { 04.12.11 at 1:44 pm }

Hook him up to a lie detector could be compelling viewing, RR Morning show? :-)

29 sourkraut { 04.12.11 at 1:53 pm }

You sound like you are quoting something from the poet laureates Pete and Dud Possibly “the Horn” or possibly “cancer”

30 sourkraut { 04.12.11 at 1:58 pm }

Or was it “the worst job in the world”?

31 Culinary Boner { 04.12.11 at 2:19 pm }

Sourkraut, think your on to something here. This faux rock god issue thingy is now getting boring and needs a dose of Derek & Clive’s ‘The Worst Job He Ever Had’. Cough, phlegm…

32 Culinary Boner { 04.12.11 at 3:03 pm }

… it’s was me worse job that
being a pubic louse for a rock star and ‘is groupies
Oh, I went for that job
oh yeah, what happened?
I some fuc*ken standards ya know…it was loyalty thing… ‘e said he wanted to share me around…but I told ‘im I’m a one-man louse not some tart…

33 seekoutthetruth { 04.12.11 at 3:43 pm }
34 jasmine { 04.13.11 at 12:22 am }

Wow! Altiyan’s Dad Jadran (Croataro Croat) As i read is his alter ago…. Is attacking a hater…Calling her every vial name his broken english can spell… Would love for the media to get hold of that one… Hrmmm and i heard altiyan was bought up by a gentleman. If this is anything to go by… I’d like to know where the gentleman part comes from.

35 brain dead dave { 04.13.11 at 1:22 pm }

Mentor Ronan Keating was on Sunrise this morning,saying that Altiyan and himself have been texting each other,that it’ not Altiyan’s fault etc. He didn’t really want to say much as his primary mission was to perform a track from his new album of Bacharach covers/maulings. Didn’t mention his “international superstar” knocking around with nubiles.

36 seekoutthetruth { 04.14.11 at 1:15 pm }

I am at a loss to as why none of the previous contestants on the X Factor have gone public yet re his relationship with the 15 yr old I have read some comments on a couple of their private facebook pages, why have they been silenced, I do not think a Uncle figure would pash his 15 yr old adopted niece or do they in his culture?

37 Monday'sChild { 04.14.11 at 8:26 pm }

You pretty much summed it up, he just didn’t have the support network he needed. It’s like letting a sugar addict loose in a candy shop with a pedophile offering free candy. Sad :(

38 hmm { 11.22.11 at 10:19 pm }

You people should be ashamed of yourself saying disgusting hurtful things about about someone you dont know…its appalling. This man is a better person then the lot of you put together..think about it would u like to be insulted, and hurt over a bunch of rumors??

39 hmm { 11.22.11 at 10:20 pm }

You people should be ashamed of yourself saying disgusting hurtful things about about someone you dont know…its appalling. This man is a better person then the lot of you put together..think about it would u like to be insulted, and hurt over a bunch of rumors

40 laughing { 12.02.11 at 7:28 am }

Roll on next year…….lol……then all thee truth will come out and it won’t be a good look for Altiyan

41 No Ordinary Fans { 12.09.11 at 6:09 pm }
42 hmm { 12.18.11 at 3:29 pm }

I like how u guys twist news stories about people to good work on that hey..

43 hmm { 01.14.12 at 2:31 pm }

get a grip on reality…

44 hmm { 01.31.12 at 11:27 pm }

Im sorry are you telling me to get a grip on reality???? maybe u should. Know-one asked ANY of you to listen to Altiyan, Know-one asked Any of you to like him or his music, just because you dont it doesn’t give any of you the right to put ALTIYAN down. so like i said get a grip on reality…………