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Guest Post By BDD: Dinner Date – Heart On Fire

Dinner Date is back at it’s familiar timeslot 9.30 Tuesday after the briefest of flings in prime time. No Logies for Manu.

Brain Dead Dave is single handedly keeping the ratings going for Dinner Date, last night it easily won its time slot with over 770,000 viewers. Also in a funny exchange on Twitter. Someone tweeted me saying how they always loved reading the recaps on my blog the next day. I thinking it was about the other shows I recap tweeted back and said “Thanks”. Then I glanced at the previous tweets and saw they were talking about Dinner Date. I immediately  ‘fessed up and said they were guest posts from BDD.

And again he has sent through a cracker – Over to you BDD:

We get the usual intro from Manu,seated in a flash restaurant. He may have had too many Cointreaus to stand up for this episode. He mumbled something about “Loff”,I think.

 Nick is 26 .He’s a fireman, outdoors type into surfing. Self confessed foodie,he reckons he’s passionate about and obsessed with food. Sounds like he’s been regurgitating a Ma$terchef script. Nick’s last relationship was five and a half years. As to it ending,Nick rolls out the old if you love something , you got to set it free-different paths and all that. He ‘s now been single for a year and is “ready for it” with room for someone else in his life. I didn’t think he was over it,personally.

 He looks to be a great package but his uncanny resemblance to Karl Stefanovic killed any hint of mojo this guy might have had for me for the whole program.

 Nick chooses three from five menus offered as usual on Dinner Date. They’re all good lookers.

 Sarah -First Date

 Missed her age( late 20’s maybe?) but she looks a gorgeous,knockout blonde with Phar Lap’s teeth. Multicoloured retro fantasy shawl- a bit Stevie Nicks. Sarah’s a chef and was in the Navy for 7 years. Says she’s very competitive and likes to win and she doesn’t want to be with someone who’s intimidated by what/who she is. She’s Clint Eastwood with tits,she is. Single for five years.

 Sarah’s main will be a grilled fillet steak and there’s pannacota with chilli on the the horizon. We see them both getting nerves as the Dinner Date approaches then the first ad break occurs.

 Nick brings Sarah a plant as a gift.( At this point he should say something like “this plant’s like me…it needs to be rooted”). Nick’s stoked that Sarah’s a chef. She’s happy that he’s a fireman and tells him that she’s just bought the pervy calendar.

 In a cardinal sin of interpersonal behaviour,Sarah forgets Nick’s name. It’s Karl Stefanovic,baby. They rip into the entree of tuna carpaccio and Nick regurgitates some Prestonisms to attest the quality of the baby coriander and the wasabi. He’s loving the food but not so comfortable about the prying into his love life. She’s very giggly as he is. He asks about her life and she likes “hanging out with friends dancing”.

 Nick and Sarah do seem to like each other. Nick follows her into the kitchen,throwing around compliments like confetti. Sarah says there’s some chemistry and she gives that a little helping hand by sexily leaning all over him like a seasoned up hyena to get at the pannacotta tray.

 Sarah’s friends would consider her “crazy,out there and exciting”,she says. Nick reckons his mates would say he was “genuine, enthusiastic and caring.”

Sweets are a big success and there’s a lot of laughing and byplay between the two. She’s a lot taller than him but.

 In a sensational Dinner Date first, Sarah rates Nick 10/10 while Nick reckons Sarah’s very special and has set a high benchmark for the other girls to reach.

 After an ad break,Manu returns ,garbling about Nick being a “Fairman” and cuisine superb but warning that Nick hasn’t met Charlotte yet.

 Second date Charlotte

 Charlotte is 25 yr old long haired brunette,she loves cooking and confesses to us she’s had her heart broken,wants to meet someone with similar values.

 Charlotte’s entree will be a double baked cheese souffle and she’s going the whole hog and baking the pastry from scratch.Worried that she forgot to grease the soufflle pan ,she recovers and is relieved that they’re managable.

 Nick’s getting anxious as the date approaches.When they meet ,they like each other but it’s all pretty uncomfortable. Nick’s worried that Charlotte’s not making eye contact and there’s an avalanche of uncomfortable conversation. Charlotte tells us that she’s freaking out about the food.

 No need to worry,Charlotte because the souffles turn out great and the atmosphere duly lightens. Still Charlotte tells Nick that she’s got band-aids on her heart. He ‘s happy that she’s finally making eye contact with him.

 The main is a duck salad with a vinaigrette dressing and the two swap some relationship history and Nick shows some sympathy for the “douchebag” that has cheated Charlotte in a past romance. The duck is sensational he reckons.Charlotte concludes he’s a”good guy”.

 Charlotte’s dessert is some kind of tart I don’t catch the name of but it goes down a treat.Nick concludes that he’s had a wonderful night and ditto Charlotte who rates Nick an impressive 9/10.

Manu returns to praise Nick for two very successful dates.

Third date -Fleur

 Fleur’s 23 a music teacher and into extreme sports…we’ll soon find out that eating Fleur’s food is an extreme sport in itself.Suffice to say for this show,she’s very attractive and looks a little like Sigrid Thornton.

 She’s planned some traditional Dutch food fit for the kind of man she’s like. She’s been single 8 or 9 months and likes ambos ,fireys,police,you name it.Sounds like she’ll root anything in a uniform. She describes her food as “hearty” and reckons she’s struck gold jagging a fireman.

 Now the entree is some kind of deep fried meatballs that have been soaked in a lot of vinegar.Sounds like “Battenballs” or something like it.

 Fleur asks what we’ve heard a few times on Dinner date now: “If you’re so good looking,how come you’re single?”

Nick plays it back down the pitch with: “I haven’t found the right person.’

 Fleur tells Nick she’s been hurt before but he’s now flat out trying not to spew the entree all over the kitchen table. He does a great job a of keeping the offensive ,vinegar soaked gruel down.

 This leads to a massively uncomfortable atmosphere in the room,which Fleur is lamely punctuating with bunny boiler giggling.

 Nick has to get through main course which is I think “Huttspot”( Dutch Rissoles In gravy). The plate is a huge serving and Nick emits a lot of nervous laughing before leaving most of it. He tells us out earshot that two are not connecting.

 However ,things lighten up with Fleur’s Dutch pancakes which have been an unlikely triumph. Nick loves them and the then Fleur treats him him to a private audition of the ubquitous Hallelujah from Leonard Cohen.

 Nick reckons the musical interlude it was sexy and left a lasting impression….. (Hallelujah that I’ll never eat a vinegar soaked meatball again) and lifted the night to a success. Fleur rates Nick 7/10.

 Manu chides Fleur for being a hard marker before letting his inner love rat out and expressing that he wished he was in Nick’s shoes and had to choose between “sree boodiful women”.

 Nick chose date no 2 , Charlotte to accompany him on a weekend on the NSW central coast. She’s not an outdoors type but gives it a go,impressing Nick. We seem cavorting in the waves and having a romantic walk on the beach before an enjoyable dinner.

 At the end Manu briefly winds it up ,before Nick says he’ll most likely see a friendship evolving,while Charlotte says she’ll wait and see what Nick decides.

 

16 comments

1 Culinary Boner { 08.31.11 at 3:44 pm }

Phar Lap’s teeth could be a bit inconvenient.
BDD, another fine serving of LOL Supreme, old chap!
Meat balls and rissoles and pancakes on the same menu?!
Was Irmgard secretly doing the catering?

2 Picnic { 08.31.11 at 7:19 pm }

BBD – a crackup, your best yet. I am soooo glad I dont have to watch the show

3 davsimp { 08.31.11 at 9:32 pm }

Hey BDD, just checkin in to say hi. Love your recaps but cannot stomach this show anymore. It’s a friggin shocker, and not even in a ‘so bad it’s good’ way. I’m missing my reality tv fix and have resorted to watching Poh on the Go on ABC till something half decent comes on.

4 Anonymous { 08.31.11 at 9:35 pm }

Great recap!!! I fell asleep right at the end and was interested to see who he picked! Did not think date 2 was the right choice. 1 or 3 might have worked better.

5 Dazza { 09.01.11 at 9:04 am }

Line of the year “this plant’s like me…it needs to be rooted”

6 Paul { 09.01.11 at 9:04 am }

Thought you would have been all over Nick’s bow tie and cardigan ensemble for the last dinner, BDD.

Personally, I thought he seemed as camp as a row of tents.

7 Suzanne { 09.01.11 at 9:40 am }

That last meal was a shocker. Of Dutch heritage myself, the menu was the very essense of Dutchness.
The entree – bitterballen – deep fried meat balls
The main course – huttspot – which is basically mashed potato (but with lumps) plus various other vegetables from the bottom of the crisper, like cabbage, carrots etc. This was served with, wait for it, meat balls. The gravy, which traditionally is a burned butter type of gravy, looked more like clarified butter when she spooned it into her mound of mash.
Dessert – poffertjes – her’s looked like an exploding pile of uncooked dough. And his comment that they were chewy means they were overcooked.
A delightful Dutch meal of meat balls and carbs.

8 Culinary Boner { 09.01.11 at 11:37 am }

Suzanne, thanks for the update on Dutch cuisine. Are there any restaurants in Australia that make this stuff properly?

Have to say though, ‘bitterballen’ does sound like it’s somehow related to the Julian Assange case….
…A shag so bitterly regrettable that it’d be enough to make yer hair turn white. (that is, if it hadn’t already done so due to that alleged equally regrettable adolescent ‘weird science’ experiment involving plasma rays or some such Marvel Comic nonsense)

Perhaps the fire-hose dude was on the wrong night. He could’ve come in handy for the crop-circle incident the week earlier.

9 brain dead dave { 09.01.11 at 12:01 pm }

Yeah, thanks for sorting out the Dutch cuisine,Suzanne. Fleur’s Huttspot didn’t hit the spot.

Thanks for all the kind comments,folks. I’ll respond this arvo, unless those disturbing rating figures make me do something silly.

10 Chels { 09.01.11 at 2:52 pm }

BDD

Have you seen the show The Hotel on SBS 8:30 Wednesday nights? Last night was a gem – I can only imagine the kind of recaps you could publish.. The material is gold!

11 brain dead dave { 09.02.11 at 4:17 pm }

Thanks C Boner maybe a better choice was Sunline’s teeth.

Thanks Picnic,though I’m starting to experience some hostility and resentment toward those who are chickening out on watching the show.

Thanks davsimp. This is sadly one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen(My rock bottom is My Kid’s A Star).The fact that it’s rating so well worries me a lot more about Australia than the implications of any carbon tax or whatever. I’ve been enjoying World’s Strictest Parents btw.

No worries , Dazza…with hindsight that could have been extended to ‘ rooted and fed regularly’.

That’s a good point ,Paul. It was in my notes about the bow tie and cardy,forgot it in the recap.The gay guyon Modern family wears an outfit like that quite often. I can understand Fleur not digging deep with the cooking after he turned up like that.

Thanks again about the Dutch Cuisine, Suzanne. Any help in the area of visuals be it fashion ,jewellery on this show is much appreciated .I tend to miss those things while I’m scribbling the appalling narratives and dialogue in this show…ie I was convinced those were called ‘butterballin”.

Thanks chels, usually I’ll go for reality tv on ABC or SBS because it seems higher quality. I’ll have a look. Anyway,as RR has mentioned fta is flooded with reality tv at the moment. Sometimes ,that might be a concern but after experiencing several minutes of Baz Llurman’s “Au$tralia” last week….perhaps it’s not a bad thing.

Thanks for the kind words ,RR.

See you next week,unless this appallingly unacceptable rubbish is axed.

12 Reality Raver { 09.02.11 at 10:53 pm }

BDD – Did you watch Dance Your Arse Off that was pretty craptastic, but probably not as bad as My Kid Is A Star.

I think Dinner Date is a great reality show, they have cast it perfectly

13 Izobel2 { 09.02.11 at 10:58 pm }

RR have you had a post on crap reality shows that commenters could add to/agree with/disagree with? Might make for some fun entertainment for all of us!

14 brain dead dave { 09.03.11 at 2:40 pm }

RR I saw Dance Your Arse Off coming and decided to avoid it.

You’ ve been spot on from the start about Dinner Date. The onset of springtime can only enhance it’s appeal. There were no proscuitto wraps this week,either.

Monday night’s ACA will have some grumbling ex contestants from The Biggest Loser and their feelings of abandonment by the show.

15 davsimp { 09.03.11 at 6:45 pm }

Speaking of worst reality shows ever. Did anyone ever catch ‘True Beauty’ when it was on Foxtel? (they did repeats on channel 10 I think) It got hammered by everyone but I bloody loved it. The contestants were competing to be the most beautiful person in the cosmos but there were hidden cameras to try to see who had INNER beauty as well shiny hair, white teeth, pecs, boobs, arse etc. When someone was being a prick they were arseholed but not before having to endure watching themselves on the replay of the video. Brilliant. I’d even watch the re-runs it was that funny.

16 KatInEurope { 09.05.11 at 9:52 pm }

Big tip on the Bitterballen – they are often served with a cocktail stick, use this to make a hole in them before you try to eat one.
Because otherwise the outside goes cold, you think they are safe to eat, but just like the Macca’s apple pie, nuclear-hot filling will remove skin. Easily.
But this can be fixed with lots of cold beer.
*ahem*