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Celebrity Apprentice Australia – Channel Nine Fast Tracking It

Hey guess who was the first person through the carwash at The Celebrity Apprentice carwash challenge? Yes you guessed it – me. But more on that later.

With twitter and the main stream media going bonkers over Celebrity Apprentice Australia, Channel Nine has decided to bring it forward to be screened later this year. It was originally scheduled for early 2012.

Today was the first challenge and the boys and girls were going head to head to see who could raise the most money from a carwash.

The cast is Pauline Hanson and her former publicist Max Markson, singer Deni Hines, The Block’s Polly, dance mentor Jason Coleman, comic Julia Morris, beauty Jesinta Campbell, NRL star Wendell Sailor, AFL icon Shane Crawford, former swimmer Lisa Curry, model Didier Cohen and political rival Warwick Capper.

I headed to the girls at Bondi first expecting there to be mayhem – well there were a lot of photographers, but no customers lined up at this stage so for $50 I decided to grab the car and get it cleaned.

What was going on? Well Jesinta Campbell was wearing a bikini to try and attract some guys but then she cracked it at the paps when they started taking photos of her. The photographers just laughed and kept snapping. Comedian Julia Morris came out and told the snappers to hang on she would be in her bikini later. She was funny and will be a great cast member, hopefully they will keep her in awhile.

Jesinta was project manager of the challenge and their name of the team is Bouris’ Babes. I thought this was a joke but no.

I find it interesting that the women’s team which has a fair bit of business savvy has resorted to the sex sells tactic, and the team name of Bouris’ Babes. It is like they are immediately putting themselves in a demeaning position.

Also not helped by on the price list that you could pay to get a kiss from a contestant for $500. Jesus Jesinta you are selling yourself short, take a lesson from Madison Ashton (no relation) she would not pucker up for less then $2000.

However she did get some takers.

I do think it is harder for the female teams in these fundraising challenges, just because of gendernomics.

The guys on Celebrity Apprentice have the better business connections, or know sportsmen with a lot of spare cash. In short they have the access to the money.

Anyway I drove in Pauline Hanson greeted me, thankfully I had my book John Reed: Witness To The Revolution on the passenger seat, to balance out her more right wing views. I was then walked up a red carpet by a pretty girl (so again they must have been aiming for the male clientele.)

The price list was $50 for a car wash – outside only. Add another $50 and you could get your photo taken with one of the celebrity’s or $500 would get you a smooch. So fairly reasonably priced.  Lisa Curry twisted my arm and I threw in another $10 – I know last of the big spenders – NOT… but it was for a great cause- REACH – a mental health charity. I signed my disclaimer got a free coffee and then in no time at all my car was ready. The girls hosed it down but the Crystal carwash guys dried it off….

Then it was off to Gladesville but the guys were charging $1000 a pop. Project manager Max Markson had swallowed Mein Kampf overnight and turned into a little Hitler running around bossing people around. Also he had organised a lot of colleagues to come down with cheques.

When I first got there I saw a peroxide blonde hair guy and I thought “gosh Jason Coleman has pogged it on” but it was Warwick Capper – A thousand apologies Jason.

The guys look like they were creaming the girls and there was no six pack to be seen. However if there is I hope it will be Shane Crawford the AFL player, I had never heard of him but he was very fit looking. Whereas Warwick Capper just looked like a stereotypical Ed Hardy fan.The six packs stayed hidden as they didn’t need to unleash them as there were cheques with lots of zeros flying around.

However it appears the girls may have clawed back with a $60,000 donation from Oze Bums who paid to see Pauline Hanson wearing them while she washed the car. If the team loses she should not be the one to be eliminated.

Well we will get to see the outcome of the challenge later this year when Nine premiere it, and I think this series is going to be hilarious. The only negative thing for the show is that Donald Trump won’t be making a guest appearance on the show.


1 seepi { 09.15.11 at 7:13 am }

Bouris’ Babes – what were they thinking….

WAwick Capper was a nutter on celebrity big brother – remember he got kicked off for dropping his pants, so perhaps he now knows not to do that.

2 Maz { 09.15.11 at 9:09 am }

Bouris’s Babes-at some stage the teams will be reshuffled so it has the potential to be amusing.

3 Culinary Boner { 09.15.11 at 9:28 am }

That name is already be-musing….

…I opened the Daily Tele this morning and was immediately wishin’ I’d been struck blind.
Pauline in her y-fronts. FFS Paul Whittaker! Do you want to be sent to The Hague for crimes against humanity?
Was there a Lady Gaga bulge somewhere in them female budgie-smugglers? I’m too afraid to look again.

(Raver, while no fan of Zoo Weekly’s most annointed Wanker of the Year – Jason Coleman – how the hell could you confuse him with Capper? Warwick’s hairstyle is straight out of Conan or Spinal Tap. Jason’s is modelled on the Paddle Pop Lion)

4 MolksTVTalk { 09.15.11 at 10:44 am }

Capper is the Ch9 star du jour, with appearances on a number of shows recently – Top Gear Australia, Celeb Apprentice, and soon to be seen on the Joy of Sets.

5 bella vita { 09.15.11 at 11:29 am }

one of the most hilarious re caps I’ve read from you in years!
Seems like so much fun, wish I could have been there!
Interesting the way that social networking is being used so much for this….heaps of tweets going on the last couple of days from the celebs calling for money

6 Paul { 09.15.11 at 11:34 am }

LOL @ Jesinta Campbell being a PM.

Girl is more desperate for fame than Lara Bingle. And possesses even less talent, if that’s possible.

7 Culinary Boner { 09.15.11 at 11:53 am }

Molk, the ‘Joy of Sets’ wasn’t the name of that smutty home video Capper was trying to flog a couple of years ago, I hope – ?

Oh. Hang on. That title would be way too clever. He’d’ve come up with some’n like “Cop this, baby” instead.