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Wife Swap Australia – Fat? Oliver You Are Not In Great Shape Yourself.

Not sure why Oliver Biecker was so anti-fat, it was not like he was packing a six pack. In fact I would describe his body as blancmange. Also their anti-junk food mantra was weird, everything they dished up was processed and no fresh fruit or vegetables were sighted. Also when are german sausages coming out of a jar NOT junk food?

The Dedes who they swapped with had four kids and twelve pets and a lot of clutter. However they appeared happy. Christine provided a little bit too much information when she said her husband Martin was like a donkey  “hard working and well hung”. Regardless of size he did seem like a nice bloke and he did the cooking even making a variety of meals to cater for the kids tastes.

The house is pretty messy, not helped by the twelve pets with some defacating on the floors.

However the Bieckers were polar opposites with Oliver who has some weird personality traits. The kids were not allowed to touch walls, or the cars nor are they allowed to play doh or paint in the house.

Oliver’s weirdness continued with him not offering Christine any dinner and then he ran off to bed saying he had a sore throat.

Phuong over at the other house raised with Martin that she thought the three eldest kids were overweight and told Martin, and he said she was rude. Martin then told the kids and they unleashed. The eldest screamed “there is nothing wrong with us” and said “when your kids grow up they are not going to like you at all.” I think there was an element of truth in that.

Phuong burst into tears saying it was really scary, she did not get that what she said was hurtful. Her and Oliver appear to live in their own little bubble.

It was no surprise that when Christine made the rule changes it was about making the house more relaxed, and the kids were able to touch the walls and doors, and she set up a drawing table. She also brought in some guinea pigs.

Oliver was told he would have to cook, and she mentioned that she did not eat the first night and he responded “you don’t look like you are going to starve”! He thought it was amusing. I wish she had  had a go at him about he looked, and his taste in ties.

She also held a princess party for the two daughters who were loving eating all the junk food. Or maybe they were just happy to get some variety in their diet.

In the end the fairly easy going Christine cracked when she confronted him about his behaviour and he said “you are not a guest, but a wife replacement”. She left before the end of the swap. Oliver who has no insight thought it was because of her separation from her family not his cold and weird behaviour.

At the table it all fired up with both wives getting some barbs in. But I think Christine had the final and truthful say with “Youse are all fucked”.

However, neither really took much on board about what the other was saying. However Christine did seem to appreciate the full house clean Phuong did and the fact the kids were helping around the house more.

Phuong kept the drawing table but basically that was it the guinea pigs were sent back to where they came from.

19 comments

1 PinkPatentMaryJanes { 02.07.12 at 8:35 am }

When I saw the ads for this I thought Christine was going to be a bit of a shrew, but she was absolutely lovely. Jeez, I would have pulled that face if I had to eat plain pasta with cold tomato sauce out of the jar. I felt quite sad after watching this show last night. Seeing people who were just so judgemental was a bit of a shock for me in my cloistered little world. Luckily it was balanced out with Christine and Martin (who I LOVED as well, what a lovely man) – glad they’ve found each other, may they live happily ever after.

2 Reality Raver { 02.07.12 at 11:36 am }

PinkPatentMaryJanes – What I found ironic was the food Christine and Martin were eating was much healthier then the crap they were feeding their two daughters.

3 John James { 02.07.12 at 11:48 am }

I thought the Dedes house was dirty if it had been me i would have walked right out again. Phuong did them a favour cleaning up their house and took the abuse from the oldest daughter very well, they were over weight and will have health problems down the road

4 Lauren { 02.07.12 at 12:19 pm }

what about mein kampf on Olivers bookshelf! Thats not what you want people to see if your German surely!

5 Culinary Boner { 02.07.12 at 12:31 pm }

I always wondered who ate those weiners in a jar. Mystery solved.

6 Culinary Boner { 02.07.12 at 12:34 pm }

“but basically that was it the guinea pigs were sent back to where they came from.”

Which is why God created Zhu Zhu pets on his day off

7 Culinary Boner { 02.07.12 at 2:05 pm }
8 Lebay { 02.07.12 at 4:13 pm }

I always thought I was a bit mean when my kids were little. They were not allowed to sleep with us in our bed. If they had a bad dream, we would settle them, soothe them and then pop them back into their own bed. But not to be allowed out of bed at all to get any parental comfort is just, well, cruel. My earliest memory is standing at the foot of my cot, just looking at my stuffed toys, I saw a shadow which I was convinced was a monster, but not having the words I just screamed. I remember how safe I felt when my parents came in and comforted me. How must those kids feel when that is not happening? I really feel for them.

9 Culinary Boner { 02.07.12 at 4:17 pm }

Don’t worry Lebay,
Mein Kampf will show them the way

10 Andrea { 02.07.12 at 10:19 pm }

Yes I thought their house , even though it was clean was very cold and unwelcoming. They thought they were doing the right thing by not overfeeding their little girls, but they need a proper meal, not just a sandwich. Phuong was quite lazy about cooking and needs to not be so judgemental. However, the other family were overweight and Christines daughter was very rude to Phuong yelling in her face, I woudnt have stood for that and the house looked so much better once it was cleaned. Christine also couldnt talk sensibly at the table meeting at the end without using the F word.

11 Stratti { 02.10.12 at 9:35 pm }

I genuinely felt sorry for Phoung. I got the distinct feeling that she is one of those people who are merely a vessel for an overbearing controlling man’s opinion. The cold , callous, unfeeling and stubborn views of Oliver are completely in line with the vibe of the man. Phoung however seemed to not be completely in tune for this horrid world view. I would no be surprised if deep in her sub conscious she is screaming out for a real man , a man who is warm and protective – not cold and judgmental. And to be honest that bloke gives me the distinct desire to be locked in a private room with him to give him a proper beating. The comment at the end summed it up better than any eloquent turn of phrase could.

12 DysfunctionDedes { 02.11.12 at 10:45 pm }

I was appalled at the gutless way Martin relayed what Phoung told him. If Phoung wanted to confront the children about their weight issues she would’ve done it in front of the whole family, instead it was obvious that she was being delicate about the issue and considered it more a fault of the parents. If there is one thing that marks a person’s reputation with me (other than knowing they cheat on partners, or in business) is people who relay conversations to others with no sense of confidentiality. And it seemed to me that the Dedes family completely overstepped the mark in terms of their reaction to Phoung’s thoughts or “judgements”. Being “fat” isn’t like being ugly, you can take active steps to reduce your fat levels by eating less and exercising – it’s no secret. Unless you have a serious heart condition, or other severe illness, and even then there are dietary ways to regulate your weight…
But you can’t rectify being “ugly” through lifestyle factors alone, so it isn’t an accurate or fair comparison that Ellen drew on to question Phoung. Coming from a minority background and being teased because she was “Asian” lends more sympathy than someone being teased because they are “fat” (even if it is the parents fault for them being fed and not being taught the virtues of exercise properly)
I don’t believe Oliver’s diet is a model by any means, muffins are some of the worst samples of sugar and butter combined and having that for dinner – sheesh! But picking bits off one or two muffins is a damn sight better than having a * healthy* casserole, or another topped up plateful of “real” food, with what is sufficient to satiate four peoples meal requirements. I admired Phoung for having the guts to bring up a delicate topic aside to the father in a laid back setting, she was entirely right to do so as the family is clearly overweight (bar Martin)
Although Oliver came off as a bit standoffish and inappropriate at times with his laugh, he did offer Christine what they were having at the first dinner (from the final table talk) so she was offered some food even if it wasn’t what she would consider a “proper dinner” and she was the one coming in for the first week so the onus was on her to assimilate into the Biecker family unit. Oliver also did work at the Westmead Hospital and other responsible renos around the house. But it seemed the copy of “Mein Kampf”, and the fact he shot guns, far overshadowed the good he did around in the eyes of the people I’ve spoken to about him. I myself borrowed a copy from the local library to try and understand what fuelled the motives of a mad man. I can imagine any Austrian or German with a level of critical thought, or yearning to understand modern history would want to read that book.
Christine was foul, crude, loud and overweight. Swearing on national TV still rankles me I thought she was the most offensive one, followed by smug martin who is so blinded by his thoughts/feelings he cannot see the children are overweight and conveniently turns a blind eye to the house which was a brothel. This far outweighed the fact he held down a job and cooked x amount of meals for the family.
I found Ellen the next annoying for her loudmouth opinions and utter disrespect for someone who is supposed to be her mother, yes she is an “adult” at nineteen years of age but she doesn’t even do her own washing and is overweight (and by overweight/fat most people don’t mean OBESE) it seems she immediately took it as almost a derogatory slur instead of a constructive criticism she then went on about how they were “happy” as a defence, from my point of view it’s sad she hasn’t known another life and lived in a house full of fire hazards whilst being fed too much and having a “friend” who swears for someone who is supposed to be her mother.

13 brain dead dave { 02.11.12 at 11:46 pm }

The problem for me with the availability of Hitler’s book is that individuals like Charles Manson and the guy that shot 70 odd students in Norway relatively recently were influenced by it in a terrible way….and these were guys with high IQ’s.

14 suziwong66 { 02.12.12 at 12:19 am }

I came to read the review after watching this ep tonight; no need to make a comment as all i was going to say was articulately communicated by DysfunctionDedes.

Martin needs a kick up the backside for creating the awful scene with Ellen going off like an irrational banshee at Phuong. Martin told the children that Phuong told him they were fat and lazy. At no time was this said by Phuong on what was aired. Martin took a great deal of poetic license in relaying his conversation with Phuong.

Out of everyone on this show i liked Phuong the best. She at least had a little class; unlike Christine and her eldest daughter who have no idea how to communicate respectfully or peacefully.

The state of the Dedes household was repulsive; messy is one thing, filthy is another. When there’s animal faeces in the house, the line from messy to filthy is crossed.

15 Maree { 02.12.12 at 12:51 am }

I agree with Suzi and am dismayed with the way Christine spoke at the end during the meeting with Phuong. I have a Greek background and i was horrified at christines rude outburst and swearing at Phuong. She is a negative representation of greek australians and i was absolutely disgusted with her language.

In my opinion Phuong was trying to be helpful by raising the over weight issue and was not intending to be rude or offensive. Martin behaved immaturely and was getting so defensive and uptight. It is true that she could have been more subtle in her approach however her intentions were for the right reasons.

I was extremely annoyed with the background greek music when christines house was being filmed. Why didn’t they play any oriental or german music.She has nothing in common with the true identity of greeks. She is a rude, messy, lazy woman who is teaching her children that life is only about fun and freedom. Phuong on the other hand has over the top views on discipline however she is also teaching her children that life sometimes requires discipline, self control and order. I would rather have a coffee in Phuongs house any day. Her husband is very cold and pathetic however this is not her fault. She remained calm throughout the whole week and is a better role model for any child.
The way Christine was swearing made me exasperated. She also stated
that Phuong had a holiday as she did not cook any of the meals. Did she cook any meals? christine you have embarrassed every greek in this country

16 Emma { 02.15.12 at 1:44 am }

Such a shame that by introducing all those prejudices to her kids, Phuong had created the bullies she hated at school. Well done to Christine and Mark for keeping such a fantastic, healthy, happy house for children to grow up in.

17 howard { 02.17.12 at 2:06 am }

It would have been nice if the producers had actually found a firm but fair Wife-Swap for Oliver. He should have learnt to loosen up and relax a bit. However, he just got the weak and foul Christine. On the other hand, Phuong was modest and polite while the so-called ‘happy’ family were totally two-faced, deluded and idiotic. Wish it had been a more effective swap.

18 isla { 03.14.12 at 11:00 pm }

welcome to the dedes household: where the word “fuck” is more socially acceptable than the word “fat”

19 Jenny { 09.28.12 at 11:46 am }

I love christines family. I would tell that alien looking lady where to go as well. Who the hell comes into the house and be’s a judgemental cow.