The Biggest Loser – Baron von Campsite
I knew I was in for disappointment with this episode. The website promised that a team would be banished to a “baron campsite” and, whilst I hoped that this meant a costume drama crossover (or, at the very least, an appearance by The Dictator), something in the back of my mind warned that the homophone bug had struck.
My recording missed the first part of the ep so I just had to rely on my powers of observation to figure out the result of the eviction. Bye, Bek. Fortunately I tuned in just in time for the middle of the night wake-up as the trainers “shake things up a bit”. Tiffiny hasn’t seen “the hunger” in this year’s contestants, so maybe they’ve snuck in more than some illicit booze. I love that Margie thought that she might have been dreaming about Michelle, given that she’s a “pretty lady”. Shannan reveals his literal side – the competition needs a “wake-up call”.
There is a lot of screaming as Shannan decides the contestants should have mastered push-ups from their toes by now. He then picks on Kasey as the group practices their planking technique. This part really annoys me – Kasey is one of the few who is actually trying to do this properly and a couple of times he calls her out for dropping the pose before she actually does. Meanwhile, the others are all over the shop with their form, unless they were supposed to be attempting downward facing dog.
Commando does some screaming at Graham, which motivates him to do some push-ups but not to open his eyes. Lydia receives acclaim for her power and they all seem to think they’ve done a good night’s work. The appearance of Hayley on the beach raises some eyebrows and they are told they need to race back to the camp. By the time they are running, it’s light, so this has been an epic.
Margie does a pretty amazing job at motivating her team in the race. Hamish shuffles along consistently in true Cliffy Young style but is not able to defeat the Reds. The Black team have Selina in their sights but it’s a bit tough on Alex with his leg in a brace. Still, he digs deep and gets past Selina who fails to respond to Tiffiny’s encouragement.
So, now I guess the Reds get to meet the Baron! Um, no… they are to choose a team to leave Camp Biggest Loser “immediately”. “For… good?” asks Lydia, in a mix of shock and hope. Nah. Just until the next weigh-in. “They won’t be training, eating or sleeping (at all? Seriously?) here,” continues Hayley, confirming that their new environment will be the bush! The Reds decide the White team won’t cope without showers, and banishing them has the added bonus of splitting up Hamish and Michelle (so they are adhering to the relationship script here).
Whites head off to play with leeches and pitch shelters. They sleep on eskys and tarps, wrapped in mosquito nets.
Contest: Reds, Blacks and Blues play Last Man Standing. This is so Survivor. Teams choose a pole-stander and the last one standing will “take the walk to power”. Hamish looks around, then nominates himself. Margie takes it for the Reds and Simon for the Blacks. Rivetting television, this. Margie starts chatting to Hamish about Michelle and we get a montage of Hamish/Michelle clips as filler. Well, it has been an hour and a half. The left side of the platform is removed at this point, and at two hours the right side goes. Hamish’s feet hurt and the only thing that stops him from calling it quits right there is an ad break.
Margie trots out the “world of pain” cliche about Hamish a number of times, going on to describe all the body parts she thinks he’s feeling it in. After three and a half hours and some deal-making between Margie and Simon, Hayley decides that the two out there could stay all day. It’s on to one foot and… out of time for the episode. Tune in next time to find out who won the gripping standing-still contest!