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Celebrity Apprentice Australia – Who Needs The UN When You Have The Hoff

Give The Hoff a Nobel Peace Prize, the man brought down a totalitarian regime with his voice. He stood on the Berlin Wall and sang to one million people and lo and behold the wall came down.

I am surprised Obama has not sent him into the De-Militarised Zone in Korea to sort out the tensions there.

However he is not the only person delusional about their charisma on the show.

“I’ve been in the entertainment industry for nearly two decades, I can’t believe I’m still here,” said Tania Zaetta to be honest nor can we. Tania is shaping up be one of the villains of series two which is not a bad strategy as it will ensure she sticks around longer. However in her quest for eternal youth and to save money did she manage to get some work done at this Miami woman’s garage who injected people with cement?

Which does raise the question of which of the Celebrity Apprentice contestants has had the most work done? The Hoff, Tania, and Charlotte Dawson are definite front runners.

Tonight the challenge was to make a piece of art that expresses a life defining moment. The Hoff was moved across to the girls team and Patti Newton was moved across to the males. Marion Grasby was project manager for the girls, and after tussle with Ben Dark, Dicko was the project manager of the mens team.

Ben said “Dicko and I are just finding our place and like any herd you’ve got to find your pecking order”. Clearly Ben thinks he is the alpha male, but hopefully he will soon learn he is really the runt of the litter. His inner sexism is starting to emerge. However it has also been quite a revelation to find out that Dicko’s ego is now bigger than his gut.

However he did think Ben had a problem with authority. However Charlotte and Tania were also having issues with Charlotte even throwing the N word at Tania, calling her a narcissicist.

Though Jason Akermanis also has a huge ego which he revealed when he equated winning a Brownlow Medal with being the President.

With all these strong personalities on the show, the less flashy ones like Marion and Vince Sorrenti are having trouble getting air time. In fact Vince has barely been spotted in either of the challenges.

Marion  confided to Charlotte that The Hoff was going to be hard to manage  particularly because he does not know who I am.

“He doesn’t know Tanya either,” said Charlotte. In fact would he know any of them? The Hoff who appears to have a big ego does have some insight into himself, he said  “I realised at eight I was not good at anything but I looked good doing it.” So maybe it was his looks not his voice that finished the Cold War.

Nathan Joliffe has been the surprise packet of this competition and has been bringing in the big bucks. He managed to obtain $40,000 from Jeans West who he has modelled for. Also Ben made a deal that for $15,000 Nathan would get his body painted as an olive oil body.

However Dicko was miffed that he was not being painted. As he thought he was more famous than Nathan, and thought he, and old man with a gut, was worth more money and told Ben to pitch that to the company. However Ben said he was not going to renegotiate a deal.

Dicko would have been happy with the air time he is receiving on the show, also helped by his art piece. His piece was an apology to Paulini because of “the gold dress incident’. Most of Australia had forgotten about it until Dicko raised it again by making his piece of artwork. Also Paulini came in and Dicko made an on-air apology.

Patti Newton’s artwork was a homage to Bert, I noted that when she was talking about all the momentous occasions in her life, her children were not mentioned.

In the boardroom it was revealed the men’s team had won again with Dicko giving the line of the night later saying “You want The Hoff, you can’t handle The Hoff”.

Dicko agreed to give a third of his winnings a not insubstantial amount of $74,000 to Marion for her charity, Save The Children.

It was no surprise Marion was fired her boardroom strategy was awful. First she tried to throw David under a bus, by saying he was difficult to manage and then bringing him back in the boardroom with her sealed her fate. He was out here on contract and it would be for a certain amount of episodes there was no way he could be fired.Though when Mark Bouris started talking about The Hoff’s intellect and wisdome, even David looked amused.

Also bringing Tania back in was also dumb, as she is giving good TV, and surprisingly is bringing in the dollars. As Patti Newton said she should have taken in Tania and Lauren.  Mark Bouris had no other option but to fire Marion.

UPDATE: Marion says she did not expect to win Celebrity Apprentice. (Source:


1 Calliegirl { 04.22.12 at 11:24 am }

When oh when are we going to actually get back to just commenting on the said shows – and stop all this sniping towards each other’s right to comment, or not. The site was going really well before all these newcomers came on and totally changed the nature of the blog. Please can we just get back to what it was before!?

2 Reality Raver { 04.22.12 at 1:11 pm }

Calliegirl – yes exactly the shows and Masterchef is starting soon. Yippee. This blog will be covering it fully.

BDD – I don’t think you need to push he panic button yet.

3 littlepetal { 04.22.12 at 1:28 pm }

I know last year I said I won’t be watching MC if the format is the same but I am looking forward to MC because I want to comment on the show on this site and I don’t watch many reality shows. But if there is too much rubbish on MC, I will quit.

4 Reality Raver { 04.22.12 at 1:37 pm }

Anonymous – Thanks for being such a long time visitor to this blog, much appreciated. Not sure why you read it when you clearly don’t like it.

5 Reality Raver { 04.22.12 at 2:00 pm }

Little Petal – Point taken.

6 PollyB { 04.22.12 at 2:04 pm }

Alenka –
In assuming you know what I would do on the street, or anywhere, be prepared that you may be deluding yourself.
I’d appreciate if you are going to ‘quote’ me’ – ‘I’ll say what I like! I don’t need no laws!’ – you actually ‘quote’ me. Primary school children know how to copy/paste to quote accurately.
I don’t try to hurt people, Alenka. As you stated ‘Character is chosen and deliberate’, therefore your self-awareness must tell you that you choose to be offended in this instance. Don’t blame me for the choices you make. Your choices are your responsibility.

7 brain dead dave { 04.22.12 at 2:28 pm }

In looking at the promos for Ma$terchef, I’m not sure that Jowl$y hasn’t had some work/renovations done,either. He may have been photoshopped.

Obviously hasn’t called Jenny yet,either.

8 littlepetal { 04.22.12 at 2:56 pm }

Matt Preston has a personal trainer but how do you go about telling him what he should or should not do. Will he listen? Same personal trainer also has worked with ‘Dame Edna’. Tough job there with these celebrities if they personally don’t have the motivation to lose weight. Not sure she will be working with her again as she has signed up with Jenny Craig. It didn’t work when Dame was not Jenny Craig but with $$$$, I am sure Dame will lose those 15kgs with or without PT.

9 brain dead dave { 04.22.12 at 3:03 pm }

Can Matt Pre$ton’s personal trainer be charged with malpractice, I wonder?
I just hope Wannabecook has got the windows closed today, because Jowl$y will be trying to do a break and enter there once he gets a whiff of those macarons..

Love to see MP on Celebrity Survivor.

10 brain dead dave { 04.22.12 at 3:28 pm }

I also have to ask why some celebrities take umbrage when their integrity is questioned.

For example , I’ve just seen Marcia Hines on television endorsing $wisse products. This company has been in court recently over spurious claims for their products with not one shred of empirical evidence to support those claims. Shannan Ponton and Ricky Ponting also endorse this company’s products.

Everyone has their price, it’s said, and some people’s is very low.

11 littlepetal { 04.22.12 at 3:35 pm }

$$$$ talk and walk

12 Exessex { 04.22.12 at 10:14 pm }

Take Swisse vitamins, they make you famous

13 Ugly Georgie { 04.22.12 at 10:25 pm }

Lol Exessex – I wouldn’t mind if it made me a first grade cricketer.

14 littlepetal { 04.22.12 at 10:28 pm }

Georgie – you are now Ugly Geogie??? Just ignore Anonymous.

15 Ugly Georgie { 04.22.12 at 10:33 pm }

littlepetal, you’re a sweetie. See my post on Priscilla.

16 Sick Dave The Pit Bull { 04.22.12 at 10:50 pm }

We’ll get over it.

17 Andrea { 04.23.12 at 12:15 pm }

Wow! I’ve been off the computer all weekend and looked what I’ve missed! I think I was one of the first to respond to Charlotte Dawson but I never expected so many comments, it must be a record for you RR! My opinion is that we are all entitled to our say but I don’t think we should be too cruel, and no BDD, I still don’t like the bad language but accept it seems to be the way of the world. Anonymous writers should not be allowed a say at all! The fact that Charlotte and others wanted to comment is great, it certainly stirred up some interesting debate here. I like all our regulars, its funny and interesting, surprised CB didn’t respond though, is he with AJay again? Thanks everyone for an interesting read today!

18 Stacey { 04.24.12 at 12:07 pm }

Whoa, agree Andrea- come back after a few days and shit has hit the fan! Love me some online warring.

19 Nutsy { 04.25.12 at 10:01 pm }

Pity Hoff didn’t get his pay rise he wanted !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 10:14 pm }

Is it safe to comment on CA?

I think Tania’s overdue for a good caning – she’s very jealous of Lauren.

21 littlepetal { 04.25.12 at 10:19 pm }

Tania said Lauren is like the younger version of herself and Charlotte.

22 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 10:26 pm }

Tania and Charlotte without the B***x.

CA is a bit like Basil now – “don’t mention the Germans!”

23 littlepetal { 04.25.12 at 10:32 pm }

We have to walk gingerly here

24 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 10:35 pm }

Gingerly – are you sure no-one has red hair littlepetal?

25 littlepetal { 04.25.12 at 10:37 pm }

Not sure. I know there were a few blondies

26 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 10:48 pm }

It was nice of the ladies to leave Patti out on a limb over the ‘Bert’s hair’ joke. You wouldn’t want them to be covering your back if you were under fire would you.

It’s funny too, now that I’ve read the real Charlotte, I see her in a totally different light.

27 brain dead dave { 04.25.12 at 10:55 pm }

Yes, Tania the ageing D lister getting jealous of the younger, better looking Lauren . You wouldn’t read about it.

Patti Newton tried but jokes about Bert’s wig got boring at least fifteen years ago. There’s Bert – another great ambassador for facial surgery.

28 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 11:08 pm }

Apparently it doesn’t matter how much ‘work’ you get done to counter the aging process, it doesn’t increase your self-confidence.

29 brain dead dave { 04.25.12 at 11:15 pm }

Personality makeovers are overdue for a couple of these chooks. Why didn’t they just tar and feather Patti and be done with it?

Will they fire up and call Mr Bouris a c***?

No bull riding tonight, Georgie. Maybe tomorrow night.

30 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 11:26 pm }

Checked One HD program and it’s on Thu & Fri night 8.00-9.00.

31 brain dead dave { 04.25.12 at 11:36 pm }

Thanks Georgie. That’s a much better timeslot for some cowboy carnage.

I don’t blame The Hoff for rolling his swag, either, whatever his excuse.

32 Emma { 04.25.12 at 11:40 pm }

I think Patti deserves to win. Charlotte and all on the girls team disowned her and said they didn’t agree when they did. She’s been through enough. Be nice to her and give her a chance.

33 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 11:44 pm }

Bloody hell bdd – just re-checked that and it’s Thu & Fri 8.00-9.00 AM not PM and it was on today too at midday!

Good point about the personality make-overs. From memory we’re allowed to comment on them – was that commandment #5 or 6?

34 brain dead dave { 04.25.12 at 11:51 pm }

It’s a circus challenge tomorrow night on CA. As if a couple of the women haven’t been performing like animals already.

Thanks for that update ,Georgie.

35 Georgie { 04.25.12 at 11:57 pm }

Emma – I’d be happy to see Patti win too. There’s no-one else who deserves it, except maybe Nathan.

bdd – would those animals be cougars by any chance?

36 brain dead dave { 04.26.12 at 12:04 am }

I wont mind Patti winning either,Emma. She was $hafted badly.

Sure Georgie- Mountin’ Cougars.

37 Georgie { 04.26.12 at 12:15 am }

How good was it with Lauren and Tania tonight after the boardroom. I thought Lauren might get the gloves out. Now that would be great RTV – a girl’s punch-up.

38 Celebrity Apprentice – The Wrong Person Was Fired | reality ravings { 04.27.12 at 8:14 am }

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