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Celebrity Apprentice – A Lacklustre Episode With A Foregone Conclusion

Clearly Ben Dark is on the Paleolithic cave man diet as he appears to have taken up that periods philosophies as well.

“Women and Men how long have we got….” Ben said. He continued “Men are hunters, women are home what ever it is. I know all the femonazis at home are screaming but from the caves that how it is.” No Ben that is not how it is. However, I don’t see him being a stay at home dad in his future.

Also Ben when he was shopping with Charlotte Dawson for the challenge after he told her he liked a dress he quipped “God I am sounding gay”. I had not realised that using the “gay” word was now a part of our mainstream vernacular. But Ben said it, Charlotte Dawson laughed and it was edited in as a joke, so maybe it was acceptable usage of the word. I am genuinely perplexed on the social acceptability of this.

Not a fan of his but it has to be said that Ben Dark was the outstanding contestant of the episode. He negotiated with Myers and also was sterling as the back of the show support. Also he did come up with one of the best lines of the night when he said “At the end of the day Tania has not been on TV here for ten years and lives in India, and I am not surprised”. Maybe if he had seen the nude pictures of her in New Idea this week he might have not been so caustic.

Also did anyone else notice Ben’s strange ear lobe.

However the whole episode felt like a bit of a farce and lacked tension. First it was pretty obvious the female team would have to do something diabolical to lose, the Hoff “quit” and then after Mark Bouris said “someone will be fired” no one was fired. Why did The Hoff leave? I had thought it was because of other work commitments and his contract had only been to sign up for a limited period. However, entertainment journalist, Peter Ford said on Twitter he would be talking about it on radio tomorrow, so maybe it was for personal reasons.

The challenge was for each team to devise and produce a hair show, using Wella products. They would be judged on brand messaging and showcasing of the products. The winner would get $20,000 for their charity.

The Hoff was placed back in the mens team and Ben Dark got shot up the proverbial with a rainbow when he was told to go with the girls. Charlotte Dawson was project manager for Team Fortune and Nathan was project manager for Team Platinum.

The guys team had their first bit of tension when The Hoff, Vince Sorrenti and Aker wanted to be MC.

Dicko was bemused about this and said “Aker is inarticulate he struggles to get a sentence out, why would you hand him a microphone”. Nathan ended up giving the mike to Vince.

Charlotte as project manager was trying a different tactic with contestant on the outer  Tania Zaetta. She was going to take her on rounds of the shopping centre with her to select a volunteer, however Ben quite rightly pointed out that Tania needed to stay and practice the hair styles they were doing. Also it seemed to be implied that Tania was the reason the women lost the last two challenges. My understanding is Tania has been one of the people that have been bringing in the money.

The girls show went smoothly until Patti tried to crack a joke by pulling out Berts wig, the audience found it amusing.

The guys team did a surprisingly good job with the hair, but badly with the jokes. Also Vince lost his ear piece so could not get prompted by Nathan back stage.

In the boardroom The Hoff quit, Patti got castigated for bring along Bert’s wig, all the other girls backed away from it.

Patty said she went and asked Charlotte about using the wig and she said she said yes. Whereas Charlotte said she was not sure if it was going to occur and Patti started crying saying it had been a bad day. If my memory is correct, her son Matt Newton may have been in court that day.

Nathan put the boot into Jason Akermanis, however when he was asked who the weakest player was he nominated The Hoff, which shows Nathan is not just a pretty face but quite clever as The Hoff had gone.

The girls won, and Nathan took Jason Akermanis and Dicko into the boardroom. His rationale was Dicko was the strongest competitor and he would have to take him on sometime.

Meanwhile back in the winners room Tania Zaetta and Lauryn Eagle  were having a spat  Lauryn ended up exclaiming “Can someone back me up here?” Patty Newton sat there in silence and Charlotte said “I am just letting you do this.” Maybe this was Lauryn’s initiation into the big girl cat fights.

In a lacklustre board room Mark Bouris told the three none of them were fired. In the US version of the show there is much more banter between the contestants, the host and the advisors.  I thought maybe this was because Donald was advised by his children Ivanka and Don Jr, however Dane is the son of Mark.  Dane needs to spark up soon or the viewer is going to start to get frustrated by the nepotism that occurred to get him the advisor role.



1 Daze { 04.26.12 at 4:28 pm }

CB and BDD we were screaming for them back in ’76 because of their tartan capri’s :)

2 littlepetal { 04.26.12 at 5:20 pm }

Hubby met one of producers for the US Apprentice show. She is a good friend of his daughter. She said it is so annoying that the Aust producers keep ringing them to check whether it is o.k. to do the challenges or how the challenges should be run. Give Aussie a bad name.

3 Betty Ballsqueezer { 04.26.12 at 5:28 pm }

Littlepetal, sounds like a valid point.
Despite all the phone calls the Aussie shows still look very amateurish but hey, at least they are trying to learn from the professionals.

4 Culinary Boner { 04.26.12 at 5:29 pm }

Daze, I seem to recall last year’s Celeb Apprentice token young bloke, Didier Cohen, had a thing for that underappreciated male fashion statement, the male capri pant (this time in Edwardian tweed, if I remembers correctly).
Are male capri’s totally gay or what? Just asking?

5 Daze { 04.26.12 at 6:28 pm }

Culinary Boner, quite correct; its the new look for GenY X Z etc I think – noted a few of the gorgeous boys on The Voice in them; not gay, just saying

6 Culinary Boner { 04.26.12 at 6:37 pm }

Gee Daze, if that’s the case I’m just glad I’m an old fart.
What’s the socks policy for this clobber?
Or do these young’uns go for the no-sock Euro look?
FFS, they’ll all end up looking like Bruno.

7 Culinary Boner { 04.26.12 at 6:45 pm }
8 Picnic { 04.26.12 at 7:14 pm }

Just saw the ad for the living room and it has Amanda Keller. Can’t stand her and she as the fugliest dress on, also has that Dr Chris Vet in it, not sure what it’s going to be like, looking like its trying to be too much

9 Georgie { 04.26.12 at 7:22 pm }

Picnic -it sounds like they want to copy Better Homes and Gardens.

10 Picnic { 04.26.12 at 8:04 pm }

I was thinking that too, Georgie

11 Georgie { 04.26.12 at 8:59 pm }

Just saw Charlotte wearing a horse’s head – which I suppose is better than a horse’s arse.

12 Reality Raver { 04.26.12 at 9:00 pm }

Stacey – Challenges are planned in advance. Also they have to be lined up with products eg Wella last night. Last year KFC.

Betty Ballsqueezer – that name cracks me up everytime I see it. Yes I am keeping an eye on The Block and will be writing about it. A post was meant to be up today on it, but sometimes my day goes from serene to crazy in the space of 5 minutes.

I think when they buy a show they get some sort of “manual” to guide them, so conversely they have to stick with certain things of what they can and can’t do.

In my opinion the show that made a fantastic Australian series from an iconic US series was The Amazing Race. Last year was the best, also the challenges had a level of difficulty that meant the position of teams changed alot.

13 brain dead dave { 04.26.12 at 9:46 pm }

Jason Akermanis….snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

Lauryn Eagle – awesome legs. Suck it up Tania and Charlotte.

14 Georgie { 04.26.12 at 9:54 pm }

bdd – I don’t think Jason is quite living up to his bad reputation which isn’t a bad thing. Agree Lauryn’s got great legs – she’s an all round neat package.

Patti’s doing a great job on T & C.

15 brain dead dave { 04.26.12 at 10:00 pm }

Go Patti…I don’t know the result yet,Georgie but I’m feeling good.

16 brain dead dave { 04.26.12 at 10:15 pm }

Charlotte’s looking as lonely as a shag on a rock.

17 Georgie { 04.26.12 at 10:42 pm }

Interesting little habit Tania has with her eyes. She seems to have intermittent micro episodes of glaring, where her eyes open wider and kind of bulge for an instant in reaction to things others say or do. Very Bollywood whatever it is.

Have you caught up with the result yet bdd?

18 brain dead dave { 04.26.12 at 10:46 pm }

Yes , Georgie thank you linesmen ,thank you ball boys. Roll your swag, Tania, you backstabbing bitch.

19 littlepetal { 04.26.12 at 10:55 pm }

While watching the show I have a vision of Ajay on CA. Oh No……. Please don’t put her on the next series if there is one.

20 Stacey { 04.27.12 at 3:42 am }
21 Ruby { 04.27.12 at 4:23 am }

I have laughed so hard at these comments I think I have peed myself – just a little.
Loved your Leo Sayer and BCR comments. Theywere called roller strollers, kids. When my friend was 14 years old she sent Gary Glitter a letter to him when he was in town saying she wanted to do the deed with him, but there was no reply. Now we know why – she was too old for him.
This series is not very entertaining. The celebs haven’t quite ignited the joint. I have a drink each time Patti says the name ‘Bert’ and get mildly sloshed after every episode. She uses that Bert’s toupee trick all the time. He must have more than one cos when her designer handbag was nicked at Chaddy (Chadstone shopping centre, for the uninitiated) whilst she was having a latte with Lauren (if we are unlucky she might be in the next series) not only were the Newton crown jewels and other loot discovered, but also Bert’s toupee which was used (I have it on good authority) in some very lewd ways.
This show has become pretty lame in compariosn to last year’s.Why? The Hoff was out of place. The fawning was even worse. He must have vamoosed as soon as the money ran out. They should have had him in a hamburger eating contest, instead.
I am very disappointed that you have been unable to see the real Aker. Maybe there is still time. He is not this boring bloke in real life. He must be on meds to curtail his ability to offend and run off at the mouth. This is not the Aker we have come to love.

Shame Tania has been knocked off herperch – who is going to make Lauren cry now? They lost the main cause of any tension. Except for Ben Dork everyone else is on best behaviour. Where’s Deni when you need her?

22 Georgie { 04.27.12 at 7:55 am }

Never mind Ruby we still have Charlotte the starlet!

No, I’m not going to be too provocative.

23 Reality Raver { 04.27.12 at 8:34 am }

I am biased but quite frankly the comments on the Celeb Apprentice blog posts here are more entertaining then the episodes. I like the show so hope it fires up a bit.

24 Georgie { 04.27.12 at 9:06 am }

I think so too RR – great banter.