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Guest Post: Survivor: One World – Episode X: Who Runs One World? (Girls!)

JStar has written another recap – over to you:

As the Olympics come closer, Channel 9 does all procrastinating guest posters a big disservice in scheduling multiple episodes of Survivor.  In the world wide web, everyone knows who is tardy.  Sorry guys!  Typing like a bandit now.

Previously on the Discovery Channel, after finishing mating, the female black widow spider leans over and stares at her male mate sleeping soundly on her web.  She opens her mouth and sinks her ice pick-like fangs into the male and devours the poor creature.  And thus, the end of the circle of life will inevitably play out for all males on Survivor: Basic Instinct.

Night 25, the Tikiano Tribe return after sending really, really good-looking Jay home.  Troyzan is confused how the women knew he had an immunity idol hidden down his crotch.  Scary Spice tells him that it was basic arithmetic.  Abs Mike and Abs Jay wore size 14 shoes.  Old Abs Troyzan wears size 6.  As a high school teacher, she just did the maths and realised that it had to be more than just happiness that greeted her in the evening as she hugged Troyzan prior to Tribal Council.

Ego bruised, Troyzan goes on a rant around Gassy Kat’s campfire.  He just launches into a Tarzan-like tantrum and gives everyone a spray.  He castigates Christina for being stupid in not voting with him to get rid of The Bearded Lady.  He (correctly) points out that she doesn’t even have a Spice Girls moniker so why would she not change her position in the game?  Uncomfortable silence as Christina thinks through the logic of Troyzan’s statement.  And then, seriously, a WTF moment!  Bully Spice tells Troyzan to stop haranguing Christina (because only she can bully Christina on this island).  Troyzan then hurls abuse at Alicia – [FINALLY!  Congrats!] – and tells her to STFU.  Alicia (typically) responds by telling him to NYSTFU!  A lot of hot air and finger-pointing continue as Scary Spice fails to diffuse the situation.  Off-camera producer was called in to remove Troyzan where he continues huffing and puffing in his confessional, saying that he’ll win every upcoming immunity challenge until he can blow his whole tribe’s house down.

Morning of Day 26 and the viewers are jolted by staccato editing of footage of ants attacking a lone scorpion with angry voices of savages overlaying the soundtrack.  [Oh oh.  I think we’re going to have yet another Tarzan Troyzan BABY moment.]  Sure enough, Troyzan is still pissed.  He angrily confronts Milkshake Spice to plead his case that he deserves to be here more than other people.  Chelsea tells him that he should just get over it as it is a game.  She said Jonas deserved to be in the game more than him and took his vote well and acted like a man.  Troyzan should just man up.  For once Troyzan agrees with Chelsea.  He’ll act like a man….a bitter and divorced man railing against the injustice of the world that has just left him childless and penniless.  Old Abs Troyzan, your next president of the Boo Hoo Club.

Treemail time and the tribe gather in anticipation to hear the next brilliant riddle/poem/haiku that Dimples spent the previous night trying to perfect.

Jingle bells, Batman smells

Robin flew away.

Wonder Woman loss her bra

Flying on T-A-A…AY!

Reward time and it is the traditional Survivor Auction.  Contestants are provided with a wallet full of $500 American pesos where they can bid on items that were passed in on e-Bay as the sellers had poor feedback ratings.  Dimples explains the rules: no sharing, no pooling of money, and bidding goes up increments of $20.  Immediate lowlights of this challenge included Dumb Spice not understanding that she had to bid in increments of twenty – (“I bid $23”) – as well as not knowing that a BLT sandwich included bacon.  Immediate highlights included The Bearded Lady bidding $40 for a shower.  Sexy shots of her undressing (albeit behind the opaque shower screen) and lathering her hair will be used for the promos next week.  Lowlight was that Dimples refused to throw in some emergency electrolysis for Kim for an extra $200.  However, this is redeemed by the sight of Kim’s towel somehow managing to defy the conventions of gravity.  Running out of the shower to collect her next prize, she somehow maintains her modesty despite simultaneously collecting a bowl of chocolate dipped in peanut butter fudge in one hand and paying Dimples $240 with her other hand.  Even a towel knows how to keep moral crusaders in check!

Now comes the emotional manipulation moment.  Letters from loved ones.  Immediately Bully Spice bursts into tears and bids all her money – $500.  She tearily tells everyone that her father has never written her a letter before so to mark this occasion, she reads out loud his heartfelt and personal message where he tells her “That with great power comes even greater bullying responsibility.  Use your fists wisely, young Jedi.”  Tears all round with the profundity of those words.  Tarzan is in tears as Dimples announces he has more letters from loved ones but the price has been set at $500.  Tarzan is currently broke after making a deal with Chelsea to fix her milkshakes “quid pro quo” on the understanding that he is to be the last penis standing in the tribe.  He needed the $500 to fix his car.  But the stirring violins in the background convince him to pay for a letter from his beloved wife.  Tarzan at least had the decency to refuse to read the letter out loud.  [To all future contestants on Survivor, NEVER bid for love letters on this show as if you survive a couple more days, you’ll probably end up seeing them in an even more emotionally manipulative family reunion challenge].

Troyzan is now emotional as he realises he is alone and that the Spice Girls (featuring backup vocals from Christina and Old Spice) want him gone.  But those crocodile tears vanish the moment Dimples announces the next item would include an advantage in the upcoming immunity challenge.  Immediately, Troyzan bids.  The other women cajole Christina (who had yet to bid on anything thus far) to try and outbid Troyzan.  Christina could have bid $500 to end the auction but even with an advantage, it would have been wasted on her after her consistently sucky performances in all challenges in this game.  Troyzan wins the bid and slams his fist on the auction table.  He then launches into another FU tirade against the women, pointing out how they pressured Christina to bid for an item she didn’t want.  Sabrina gets a bit snarky and sarcastically congratulates Troyzan on his win (“but she’ll vote his ass off next chance anyway”).  Bidding ends with Kat winning a cake for everyone to share.

Back at camp, we are greeted to soaring and triumphant music that sounds suspiciously like someone stole the riff from “Eye of the Tiger.”  [Oooh….will the underdog triumph?  Surely an American reality television show would not be so blatant in bashing the viewers head with this point now, would it?]  Milkshake Spice is bemoaning that Christina didn’t outbid Troyzan for the immunity challenge advantage.  Elsewhere on the beach, Troyzan reads his advantage out to the cameraman, telling him that the advantage will allow him to go straight to the second round of the challenge where he has a one in four shot of winning.  Troyzan decides he will completely Mind-F the women by openly looking for another hidden immunity idol.  This pisses the producers off endlessly as the women had gathered around the campfire in their bikinis to partake in a sexy shot montage whereby they give each sensual massages.  Seeing what Troyzan was up to, they have to interrupt the montage to stalk Troyzan as he looks under every cranny and nook to find the trail of discarded cigarette butts that leads to the idol.  No luck, but he stuffs another rock down his crotch in an attempt to fool the women.  Kim, in her confessional (looking much better with her Pantene hair) is freaking out that Old Abs may win immunity and has a hidden immunity idol as insurance.

Day 27 and it is Immunity Challenge time.  Knowing that he has not been getting enough screen time, Leif turns up to the challenge decked in Braveheart make-up.  [Yes Leif, I can see you.  Too bad you’re still not allowed to say anything worthwhile to the camera.]  The challenge today is split into three parts, recycling aspects of previous challenges.  First round involved untying a bundle of rope to get the hidden ring.  Not the most physically demanding challenge but seriously, there is something wrong with the degree of difficulty in a challenge when both Old Spice and Christina end up progressing to the next round.  Tarzan celebrates by doing his Tarzan bellow on the mat – which is immediately followed by shots of confused monkeys in the jungle wondering what animal made that tortuous mating call.  The Bearded Lady joins the others in the second round.

The next round rehashes the bouncing coconuts game that was used in the reward challenge in Episode 6.  Contestants had to smash targets using coconuts they bounced off a spring net.  Tarzan, being a plastic surgeon and intimately acquainted with coconuts, has the distinct advantage.  Christina sucked so badly the last time she did this challenge, the viewers know it is essentially a three-horse race.  Challenge starts and despite needing the assistance of an escalator to “climb” over the stacks of boxes, Tarzan immediately shows he knows how to bounce his coconuts.  In no time, he has smashed two targets.  Troyzan was getting no love from the other contestants as they remain silent whenever he smashed a target.  Old Abs smashed his last target and became the first person through.  He then endears himself to his tribe by yelling and pointing his finger at the women and telling them they cannot beat him on “his island.”  The women are pissed by these taunts.    Chelsea had to literally drag Scary Spice from going all garam masala on Troyzan’s ass.  Despite Kim’s advantage of having two working knees, it is Tarzan who smashes his last target and moves onto the final round with Troyzan.

Final round and it is a rehash of the noughts and crosses reward challenge won by the women earlier in the season.  Contestants have to fire coconuts from a slingshot to knock out three targets that are aligned either diagonally, horizontally, or vertically.  It is actually a close challenge with all the women cheering for Tarzan and only the sounds of crickets cheering for Troyzan.  And wouldn’t you know it, the Rocky theme worked and Old Abs wins immunity.  He celebrates by beating his chest and rubbing his win in the noses of the women.  Classy.  Sabrina gives him a sarcastic clap and Troyzan turns around and tells her not to F with him.  This time, it is Milkshake Spice that had to be held back from going all cayenne pepper on Troyzan’s ass.  He continues taunting the women and seriously, he was one step removed from grabbing his crotch and telling the women to……well, you can imagine.  No wonder Scary Spice muttered that Troyzan only bought himself one round.  The black widow brigade will have to bide its time before devouring Troyzan next.

Back at camp and Old Spice decides to pull out the wise-old sage (in the crinkly and pooey blue briefs) card and tells Troyzan that he is happy for his win but he needs to tone down the celebrations and act all noble and respectful to his competitors.  [This coming from a guy who has had several meltdowns at Tribal Council and told Chelsea that she had to fix her faulty milkshakes as they don’t bring all the boys to the yard].  The scrambling starts and The Bearded Lady and Milkshake Spice discuss their options.  They remain committed to the Girl Power Alliance so they think it is best not to rock the boat and take out Christina.  Instead, Tarzan or Leif will have to go because they have icky penises.

The ladies are smart as Troyzan is indeed trying to work things to his advantage.  He tells the diminishing members of the penis collective that they are obviously at risk.  He will try and sway both Christina and Bully Spice into voting Kim out tonight.  Troyzan takes both Christina and Alicia aside separately and tells them that this is the time to make the move.  They can take out a power player and guarantee themselves no worse than fifth place.  It sounds logical but Christina and Alicia aren’t really buying it given how rude Troyzan was to both of them after the last Tribal Council.  Further, Troyzan doesn’t know that Kim has a hidden immunity idol stuffed down her crotch as well.  Your esteemed guest poster thinks a penis will still end up going home tonight.  The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants will again come up on top.

Tribal Council time and the jury seemed surprised/happy(?) that Troyzan had the immunity necklace on.  Dimples starts off with an innocent enough question, asking Troyzan to explain why he was so emotional aggressive at the reward and immunity challenges.  That’s it.  The women are not going to play nice and let Troyzan play to the jury.  Chelsea immediately interrupts Troyzan’s initial answer and tells him that she is not impressed that he was yelling “You cannot beat me.  This is my F-ing island.”  To which, Troyzan corrects her by saying he said, “Don’t F with me – a big difference.”  [WTF?!  Did I just switch onto Kitchen Nightmares by mistake?]  Scary Spice castigates Troyzan for his behaviour and how he morphed into Gordon Ramsey these last few days and he was just making himself look bad.  Troyzan, denies he is Gordon Ramsey, rather, he is just a spoilt and petulant child who is intent on twisting everything the women say about him and turning it back on them.  He tells the women that they don’t know what honesty is as they were the ones who lied to Jay and voted him out.  They, not him, are making themselves look bad in front of the jury.  They aren’t his mother, so he is going to scream and act more like a baby than Tarzan ever did in his past Tribal Council meltdowns.  Case in point:

Sabrina:  “Why are you getting upset with me?”

Troyzan:  “I’m not upset with you.”

Sabrina:  “So why are you raising your voice?”
Troyzan:  “I’m not raising my voice.  You are.”

Sabrina:  “I’m not raising my voice.  This is my normal tone.”

Troyzan:  “Well this is also my normal tone.”

Sabrina:  “Well good for you.”

Troyzan:  “Good.”

Sabrina:  “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

Troyzan:  “I can do anything better than you.”

Sabrina:  “No you can’t.”

Troyzan:  “Yes I can.”

Sabrina:  “No you can’t.”

Troyzan:  “Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can!”

Dimples:  “Sorry Troyzan, you can’t use Barack Obama’s 2008 election slogan to further your ambitions on a reality tv show.  We can be sued for copyright infringement.”

After a pause whereby the off-camera producers apologise profusely to the POTUS, Dimples finally gets a word in and steers the shouting match towards Barbie.  Chelsea explains that after Troyzan won immunity, paranoia set in and they wondered where the loyalties of the old Village People tribe fell.  They all noticed that Troyzan was trying to swing votes with them today.  Troyzan then lays it out, plain and simple, that Tarzan, Leif, Christina, and Alicia have his vote tonight and they can switch their fate by voting out Kim tonight.  If not, none of them will make the finals.  Chelsea tells him that this would only vote if he continued winning immunity but he ain’t no Colby, y’all.  He is beatable.  Troyzan counters by saying that if they stick as a block, the Village People can vote out the remnants of the Greek Goddesses, starting with the vote TONIGHT – (emphasis obviously directed at Christina and Alicia).

Kim tries to bring some rational debate into this heated meeting.  She tells Troyzan that he is making assumptions as to who is “at the bottom” of the women’s alliance but he doesn’t know the deals that have been made.  Therefore, his pitch to keep the Village Idiots strong may have already been countered by secret side-deals.  Dimples wants to know from the two women who really are the swing votes tonight.  Christina says she is happy to keep her options open but Troyzan has only recently wanted to strategise with her.  Alicia concurs.  She isn’t so sure if making a move now with someone, who until recently wanted her out, is the right thing to do now.  [Alicia pretty much telegraphs that Leif or Tarzan are going to be castrated tonight with her wishy-washy response.]

With that, it is time to vote.  We only see Troyzan’s vote (Kim) and Chelsea’s vote (Leif).  Kim does not pull out the hidden immunity idol – meaning she believes all her side deals will keep her safe tonight.  Dimples reads out the votes.  Leif, Leif, Leif (worried look on his face).  Kim (rolled-eyes as she knows it was Troyzan’s vote).  Kim (surprised look – vote from Leif).  Tarzan (look of surprise), Tarzan, Tarzan (grumpy Tarzan-baby face).  Last vote to be read out and Troyzan is not happy that he couldn’t sway the votes the way he wanted.  And the last vote is….Leif.  With that, Leif gets up to walk towards Dimples whilst all his tribemates pat his head, tousle his hair, and pinch his cheeks.  His torch gets snuffed.  In his Final Words, viewers are shocked to hear that Leif doesn’t speak with a munchkin-like, helium voice.

Dimples tells Troyzan and Tarzan that they have only two options to remain in this competition.  Both of them involving a machete and another performance of Victor/Victoria.  So who will be voted out next?  Well y’all already know as I’ve taken my sweet time with this recap but still, let’s pretend I haven’t been procrastinating!  LOL!  Will Tarzan win the Miss Survivor Pageant?  Will Troyzan look good in high heels?  Will Christina learn the meaning of strategy?  Will Sabrina and Alicia ever win a reward challenge where the prize is a hair straightener?  Find out more on the next exciting instalment of Survivor: Everybody hates Troyzan.


1 Sioux Denim { 07.11.12 at 12:08 pm }

This was a good episode – and another sterling recap JStar- I was hoping in this tribal council the shift would have taken place but alas they are all too dumb!

2 Trent { 07.11.12 at 2:16 pm }

Loved the recap! Thanks again.

Sioux – I think they would be dumb if they in fact did switch, If any “penis” gets to the final no girl has any change of winning.

3 Sioux Denim { 07.11.12 at 2:53 pm }

Agree Trent, was just hoping for a bit of excitement as this personally has been one of the most boring series yet!

4 Andy Pandy { 07.11.12 at 3:08 pm }

Sioux Denim, That’s just what Colton said and I’d have to agree that after he left the show got boring. I think the problem was right from the beginning it was a girls’ team versus a boys’ team and obviously the girls will stick together until all the men have gone, then they will have to turn on each other. Hopefully in the next series, the teams will be mixed from the start so this doesn’t happen again. Won’t be easy on the jury to pick a winner! Leif is pathetic!

5 JStar { 07.11.12 at 3:36 pm }

@Andy Pandy – Who was Leif? Was he even allowed to say anything for the last 4 episodes? Colton did bring unpredictability to things in this series because he just was adamant in voting people out he didn’t like – not really a strategy. But really, seeing him bullying people wasn’t exactly fun to watch.

@Trent – Agree. Would be stupid to switch now. It really is Troyzan’s fault for only having one option to fall back on. If he made the effort to form relationships with Christina and Alicia (instead of targetting them at the merge), they probably would have considered his offer more seriously. Troyzan thinks he is a great player. I disagree. I think he is petulant and a real baby.

@Sioux Denim – At least we have had the “excitement” of having the emotional meltdowns spread across many different players. Tarzan, Troyzan, Alicia v Christina, Alicia v Troyzan, Chelsea’s poor sportsmanship. True, it doesn’t make up for the fact there has been zero moves from anyone (bar Kim) since the merge. But the cast and season could be a lot worse….FIJI worse!

6 Andy Pandy { 07.11.12 at 5:35 pm }

JStar, yes it was uncomfortable to watch in some ways but it was a bit more interesting. You remember that cute little kid Leif who popped up now and again, the mascot of everyone? No , I guess he was a bit easy to forget, poor thing.Wonder if he can cook? Just a thought!
Still have to watch last nights, it never starts at 10pm as advertised, was too tired.

7 Izobel2 { 07.11.12 at 6:46 pm }

Thanks Cochrane! Your recap was better than the episode! The next ep was much better, and we got 2eps so start watching Andy Pandy! I’m enjoying watching Tarzan and his ladies fashions! Dimples tells us it’s the finale next week… !

8 JStar { 07.11.12 at 7:36 pm }

Izobel2, anything to cover that sight of him parading in those blue briefs. Anything! For the love of all thing decent, Tarzan, please wear some ladies clothing to spare the innocence of children everywhere!

9 Sioux Denim { 07.12.12 at 11:46 am }

Just watched this weeks double ep – all I am going to say is – Kym really needs to see a beautician about that moe……………

Finaly a cracker Tribal too!

10 Andy Pandy { 07.12.12 at 1:34 pm }

Yeah Sioux Denim ( love your name !) I noticed Kim’s moe as well, I wouldn’t care so much if she was a nice person but she’s not, and don’t get me started on that selfish girl CAT not taking Tarzan and Christina on that reward! What I wanted to ask you is, was there another episode shown after that one ( won’t say who went home in case not everyone watched yet ) because my PVR only recorded one episode. Not sure if I missed anything but yes, the tribal I saw was a blindsided cracker, loved it and that person got their come uppance!

11 Sioux Denim { 07.12.12 at 1:40 pm }

Heh Andy Pandy (thanks) – I actually picked Kym on first day to win – I NEVER get that right (and I dont know the winner either)- she actually has turned out to be one very manipulative player indeed – but then has that quuality to make people like her …. so lets just see how it all goes.
Yes, there were 2 episodes on Tuesday night – loved the second one – wont say who was voted out. I believe they do repeats on GO over weekend – you may have to chek your tv guide.
Next week is another double episode – Finale – yippee then the re-union show…. should be very interesting.

12 Sioux Denim { 07.12.12 at 1:42 pm }

PS – Yes that blindside was terrific – what was that crap with her cousin too????
The reward on the second epsiode Tues night was a cracker too and upset a few as well!

13 Andy Pandy { 07.12.12 at 1:59 pm }

Oh damm! Wish I’d seen it, never mind, I will check on GO over the weekend. I do know who the winner is though and the final five as I accidentally found out on Survivor website while trying to read about the Colton reaction. I was annoyed with myself for doing that! Yes, that cousin thing was strange, they were a bit too close if you ask me, not the usual cousin relationship. Didn’t she have a parent or sibling for instance? I hate the girls against boy thing, its never as good!

14 JStar { 07.12.12 at 10:16 pm }

@Sioux Denim & Andy Pandy- Doing last week’s post now but I did catch most of the double episode on Tuesday. As for the cousins and their own language – “Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!” That moustache of Kim’s needs its own facebook appreciation page.

Go should repeat the second episode but I thought it was only going to repeat the first of the two episodes. If that is the case don’t despair…hopefully my post would be up before the finale goes on! HAHA. Also, Go may schedule the second episode the following Sunday as it probably needs to fill its Sunday afternoon slot with something other than repeats of Two and a Half Men or TBBT.

15 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 10:00 am }

Hey JStar, if you feel like writing another musical why not do’ Tarzan the musical’ or maybe ‘Deb and the Suckling Pig’. I can see it now in my mind, both would be an instant success! Can you imagine the stage set up as a deserted island with Tarzan and his beautiful handmaidens, or villagers dancing around on a stage set as a quaint Italian town square, singing as they turn a pig on a spit? It would be fantastic and your last effort with “Amma the Musical” was legendary!

16 JStar { 07.14.12 at 11:08 am }

You’ve set a challenge there Andy Pandy! I was thinking maybe for Deb – now follow me as I’m trying to set a surreal/esoteric scene – but a song maybe from the pig’s point of view? How about set to the classic 80s hit from Dead or Alive. “You spin me right round, Debbie, right round, like a lamb spit baby, right round, round round”

17 Georgie { 07.14.12 at 11:20 am }

Here’s one to put you in the right mindset and get the ‘creative juices’ flowing Andy Pandy and JStar –

18 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 11:30 am }

That could work, or what about Kylie Minogue “Spinning Around?” I’m trying to think of all the pigs we could incorporate, ones that come to mind are Babe, Miss Piggy, or the pig in Charlottes Web, there must be tons more! We could get Sioux Denim on board and a big supply of tim tams! (I need to go shopping now and buy some ) get your thinking cap on while I’m out, this could make us a fortune!
Georgie, just read that! Its perfect! Great idea, we need you on board too!

19 JStar { 07.14.12 at 11:33 am }

Thanks for the inspiration Georgie and Andy Pandy. I too have to head out but will be thinking about it. Damn 80s music is too catchy!

20 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 2:33 pm }

There’s also Porky Pig and Arnold Ziffel from Green Acres if you’re not too young to remember him, he was really smart just like Skippy! Also just remembered thare was a wild pig in Survivor a couple of episodes ago, they were all chasing it to kill and eat it, (glad they didn’t catch it though ) so we could actually combine 2 shows together with the pig as the star! This gets better and better!

21 Izobel2 { 07.14.12 at 2:50 pm }

What about the 3 little pigs?

Hey Andy Pandy you still watching Bachelor Brad? I have the feeling he doesn’t really ‘like like’ many of them! And I think that Michelle is yuck and weird and creepy almost – like the other Michelle from Jake’s season, and I can’t wait for her to leave. And Emily seems too nice to even be on the show.

22 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 3:15 pm }

Yes I will be watching today at 4.30. Brad is a strange one, I think he’s too picky, wonder if he will choose anyone at the end again! Michelle is awful, hope he picks the nice girl Emily. I find it hard to understand how he can lead all the girls on, he must have lots of fun!
I like the three little Pigs idea, should give JStar plenty to work with!

23 planb { 07.14.12 at 4:08 pm }

Well, now I am really confused. My recording of this Tuesday night’s ep was a single and went on to Gordon Ramsey. Just checked it.

I’ve been fuming, How dare you, Nine, etc. In what states and on what Tuesday was this double ep? It is a bit confusing as the recap here was for an ep shown ages ago.

24 Izobel2 { 07.14.12 at 4:11 pm }

Last Tues night (10/7/12) was a double ep with 2 people (1 in each ep) voted out, and they were the 2 people after Leif. And then this Tues night is the finale.

25 Sioux Denim { 07.14.12 at 5:29 pm }

Sorry way behind on the 80’s theme – all I got are Pigs in Space!

My EPG recorder actually had 2 episodes listed this week – maybe you only taped the 1st ep PlanB?? I just recorded the 1st and then extended it by another hr to catch the 2nd ep……

This coming Tues’s ep must go for about nearly 3 hrs then?

26 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 6:56 pm }

Planb I’m confused too, I only got one episode taped too on my PVR, not sure what was on after the first episode, I’m in Qld, don’t know if it was different in other states. Either way it doesn’t matter because Channel 9 don’t really give a stuff about loyal Survivor fans, they put in on late or whenever they feel like it, and way behind the USA. I’ll just have to sit up all night next Tuesday to make sure I don’t miss anything.

27 planb { 07.14.12 at 7:23 pm }

I’ve got one of those recorders that automatically tape the next ten minutes, and in the next ten minutes it taped, as the program guide and the epg etc said was showing, Gordon bloody Ramsey. So I am stumped. At least, now I am forwarned I’ll make sure not to miss the finale etc. Damn it!

28 Sioux Denim { 07.14.12 at 7:56 pm }

Hi guys – I’m in WA and have seen the TV guide for next week – the show running from 10.20pm – 1.20am on Tues Jul 17……………Hope you all get to see/record it.
Too late for me so will record – looking forward to it!

29 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 8:58 pm }

My guide for tues 17th says 10.30 to 11.30pm followed by Gordon Ramsey what the!
Half the time this guide is incorrect so I will just have to watch and see. So annoying!
Izobel2, did you see Brad picked Michelle again! Guess he’s not thinking with his head!

30 Sioux Denim { 07.14.12 at 9:17 pm }

Andy Pandy – I’d be inclined to give C9 a call on Monday – thats ridiculous!
What state you in?

31 Andy Pandy { 07.14.12 at 9:38 pm }

QLD! See@26 I’m over it! Will just check on Tuesday

32 JStar { 07.15.12 at 3:25 am }

To everyone. Damn stocktake sales taking me away from this site and doing those Survivor recaps. About to finish last week’s so I hope to also get at least the first part of the double elimination done before the airing of Tuesday’s finale in the Southern States. The second part…well, let’s just say I WILL get it done so that it is in synch with the Queensland viewers! :)

Okay, the next installment of Masterchef Australia 4: The Musical as inspired by all of you on this post. Please view the following link to familiarise yourself with the tune first before singing along to the first verse and chorus:

Scene set-up (what was left on the cutting room floor). After being aliminated by the two little pigs, Deb tearily looks back at her time in the Masta Shef kitchen. She walks to the front of stage to belt out her theme song as to why she was so misunderstood.

I change my mind
And I’m like, really cold.
Hate you, young TK
You’re a bitch
I should know.
Hey Mindy, it’s my way
Or else the, damn highway.
You all should know
You should stop bugging me.

Cause I’m hot then I’m cold
I’m yes, then I’m no.
I’m right, never wrong
Wonder why I’m alone?
I don’t eat yum cha
I bristle from afar
I scream and I fight
I’m definitely not uptight
(You) You better not speak to me
(Why don’t) Why don’t you all respect me?
Yes I’m hot then I’m cold
I can cook, yes I’m old
The hormones – it’s not my fault
Menopause, makes me a dolt.

33 Sioux Denim { 07.15.12 at 12:37 pm }

Bravo JStar!

I think you should send tht into the producers at C10- hee hee!

Look forward to the recap too – you got your work set out for you with the finale on Tues!!

Speaking of stocktake sales – yesterday my husband bought this fang-dangled new whiz bang Tuner – does everything! Of course, had to sit up most of last night to learn how to record – thankfully am all set now for the Finale!!

34 JStar { 07.15.12 at 1:22 pm }

Sioux Denim – Thanks for that. Now you can watch Survivor uninterrupted except for the ad nauseum ads for the Olympics – (in case you haven’t already suffered The Voice wall-to-wall advertising earlier in the season).

35 Izobel2 { 07.15.12 at 1:46 pm }

My guide says 10.30pm til 1.30am – I’m in SA.

Yes Andy Pandy have watched Brad… she was worse than ever that ep and exactly once again like Vienna (with the whole secret catchup after he booted Alli out)… Brad obviously didn’t watch the Jake season. Still dissapointed that Go! has played them out of order as there’s a chick in there that clearly doesn’t win considering I’ve already watched her as The Bachelorette!

Cochrane – thanks for the ditty.

36 Andy Pandy { 07.15.12 at 1:53 pm }

Great work Jstar, will there be a second verse incorporating more pig ideas? The pig needs to be the star hah hah!
As far as Survivor goes, if we in backwards QLD dont see the final and recap show on Tuesday I won’t look at this site until its shown here so its not spoilt for me. I’ve checked GO today and it says its on at 4.30 to 5.30 so its prob the first ep that I’ve already seen but I’ll make sure in case they show the double. I never trust this tv guide, the EPG on my PVR is also showing one ep at 4.30pm, very annoying CHANNEL 9!

37 Andy Pandy { 07.15.12 at 2:06 pm }

Izobel2, thanks for the info. the girl who is a funeral director, can’t remember her name but I’ve seen her somewhere before, was she The Bachelorette or is it someone else? Why do these men always pick a bad girl like Michelle that the other women hate? Don’t they watch previous eps? Apparently not!

38 Izobel2 { 07.15.12 at 2:46 pm }

Andy Pandy – Shawntel, the funeral director, rocked up in Ben F’s season – she was the weirdo in the red dress that rocked up about 3/4 way through the season and halfway through a cocktail party and said to Ben F ‘I saw you on your season and I really liked you and thought you could choose me now and we can get married and live happily ever after as all these losers are no good for you and I’m great’… or something like that. And he promptly kicked her to the curb.

39 Andy Pandy { 07.15.12 at 3:00 pm }

I remember now! Thanks, thought I’d seen her somewhere before. She doesn’t seem too weird in this one though ( apart from describing how she embalms bodies). That Ben F was the one with the horrible hair style wasn’t he? Its easy to get them all mixed up, Shawtel couldn’t have been all that in love with Brad then if she moves on so easily to Ben F! No wonder he kicked her to the curve.!
Ha Ha, this is turning into Survivor/ Bachelor/Masterchef site! I need to get a life! But its fun!

40 planb { 07.16.12 at 9:33 am }

Riddle me this. I have just beetled out and got the Sydney Morning Herald for the program guide, keen to see for my own eyes this massive finale night listed.

It’s listed in the guide as the usual single episode. (It’s also listed on my tv’s epg as a single ep; it’s also listed on my dvr’s epg as a single ep; it’s also listed on the online foxtel guide as a single ep.)

I am in NSW. I saw one ep last week, and one ep the week before and I think it was a double ep the week before that. I watch the tv, and I tape it at the same time in case there is a good blindside or tribal showdown and some funny reactions.

I have checked my dvr and it shows that yes indeed I saw one ep on each of the last two weeks and then the following program was Gordon Ramsey’s. (Am up to two players post Leif have gone.)

I know nine is not the clueyest channel, doesn’t want it’s viewers to actually watch the programs etc, but this is crazy-making. Is it possible qld and nsw are getting a different schedule? If so, don’t put who wins in big letters, thanks Jstar, yrs slightly crazed.

41 Sioux Denim { 07.16.12 at 11:30 am }

Planb – that must be so frustrating………..

I have finale plugged into new Tuner thingy – but will certainly not comment on winner – but will let you know that in fact I did see finale!!!

42 Andy Pandy { 07.16.12 at 12:02 pm }

Planb, I’m in QLD, only got one ep last Tues, it was repeated on GO yesterday, sat through it hoping there would be another ep but no such luck. Tomorrow 17th its advertised for one hour which I think is probably part two of the double that other states have seen. Why can’t they get their act together and show it at the same time! Do you even care about your loyal Survivor fans CHANNEL 9? Put it on instead of the US version of The Voice, no one watches that!

43 planb { 07.16.12 at 12:20 pm }

Andy Pandy – they’ve been tossing it around the schedule like a Masterchef salad. Grrr.

Thanks, Sioux Denim.

44 JStar { 07.17.12 at 6:45 pm }

Hi Guys. FINALLY got the episode done (after Leif’s boot) AND the first part of the double-boot seen by Sioux Denim and I. I’ll send it through to RR after I come back from dinner (the first part of the double-boot will be sent a few days later so that enough MC love is given during pre-finals week). In some ways, I’m secretly glad that NSW and QLD viewers are a week behind as it gives bad old procrastinating me a chance to catch up! I’m sure Sioux Denim and I will NOT do a Woman’s Day and reveal the final five line up! :)

45 Andy Pandy { 07.17.12 at 7:03 pm }

Thanks for that Jstar, us Survivor fans would never leak out that information! As you know, I’ve known the final five here and the winner for ages but would never say on here! Anyway, I will watch my one advertised episode tonight and let you know if a miracle happens and a double episode is on, doubt it though!
Wait til daylight savings start, thats a whole other story as we in backwards Qld are always an hour behind!

46 Sioux Denim { 07.17.12 at 7:10 pm }

And here was I thinking WA behind in everything!!!

My lips are sealed………

47 Andy Pandy { 07.18.12 at 8:15 am }

Thanks Sioux Denim. It was only one ep here last night where Tarzan left so now its the final 5, all girls which I knew anyway. I was trying to think why NSW and QLD are behind because we were all the same at one stage and I think it must have been when The Special Queens Jubilee Concert was on in its place? Maybe the other states didn’t get that or saw it at a different time? Jstar, what state are you in? Either way it doesn’t matter and I guess we will get to see the finale next week hopefully.
If I were on the jury I wouldn’t want to vote for any of those mean nasty girls except maybe Christina and as for Kim getting picked to go on all the reward challenges well thats just not right!This has to have been the most selfish, mean spirited season yet!
I did read a rumour that in the next season they are going to bring back all the medically evacuated contestants which include the guy from season 2 who fell in a fire and got burnt, the girl in this season who broke her wrist, and unfortunately, COLTON! Should be interesting, maybe you can enlighten us Jstar?

48 planb { 07.18.12 at 9:20 am }

Hi, Andy Pandy. In NSW we (or my special tv!) got the same ep as QLD with the two hour finale announced at the end; and I expect the reunion show will be on next week too. Phew.

The girls seem to have got caught up in a charismatic personality (much as the boys got caught up in Colton and invited their own demise), and will let their heads be chopped off to follow her. Beats me why, she’s as dull as ditchwater.

49 JStar { 07.19.12 at 2:43 pm }

Hey Guys! Realised I forgot to send Episode XI through to RR earlier. Just done that so it should hopefully be up soon. Have done the next episode but will wait a couple of days before forwarding it through. You know how rabid people are if MC is not front and centre on this blog. :) Says I who stayed up chatting till 3 am I think? Yes, just woke up. Thank goodness not working today.

So I just have to do that episode both Andy Pandy and planb have seen and then I’m uptodate at least with the NSW and QLD screening. I live in VIC and I did catch the finale and reunion. Let’s just say that Alicia got off WAY too lightly in the reunion for my liking.

SPOILER. So don’t read on if you don’t want to find out who is on next season. SPOILER. Last chance. Avert eyes. Pretend that I’m about to post an imagery of Tarzan flashing his tan lines or parading around in Monica’s skin-tight red dress. SPOILER!

The next season (25) is definitely being filmed in the Philippines. That’s mentioned in the reunion. I’m hearing that there will be three tribes which should be the first multiple tribe season since Cook Islands (13). In each tribe, there will be one medically evacuated player which the rumours on the internet is giving as Michael (Season 2 Australia – the guy who fell in the fire after he disembowelled a piglet), Jonathan (Cook Island 13 and Fans v Favourites 16 where he was medically evacuated. He is personally one of Dimples man crushes so probably no surprise that he was asked back), and finally, Russell Swan (the good Russell from Samoa 19 where he was medically evacuated with exhaustion and then his entire tribe fell victim to Evil Russell after the merge). Interesting to see how Michael goes because he will be playing a game that has changed so much since he was first on it (i.e. no hidden immunity idol during his season). No Colton BUT the rumours are that the following season will have a tribe of returning players against newbies.

50 Andy Pandy { 07.20.12 at 8:44 am }

Thanks Planb and Jstar. Looking forward to the next season, wish they would do away with the immunity idol all together . Funny how there’s a recurring pig theme ( DEB)!
You can post XI and XII together if you like Jstar, I don’t think MC fans will mind (like me) beacause they will just look at that post and not this one so people who like both will just have lots of reading to do which will be great.
There are so many new reality shows coming up, you and RR will be very busy. Lets hope the new Survivor will be shown here at the same time as USA, we should all let Channel 9 know how we feel!