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The Shire – Bottom Feeding Reality TV Or So Trashy It Is Good?

On the reality TV food chain shows like The Shire, The Only Way Is Essex and Jersey Shore are thought to be at the bottom. These shows confirms critics of the reality genre view that anyone can find fame and fortune via this medium regardless of talent or brains.

The Shire set in “God’s country” in Southern Sydney, is known is known as dramality or semi-scripted TV. However at the start of the show the narrator proclaimed there was no script. Does Network TEN and Shine think the viewer is as thick as the people they cast?

I doubt sales assistant Gabby walking along the beach and bumping into ex-boyfriend Mitch was spontaneous, and lucky there was a party happening with another cast member, wannabe rapper Rif Raf, that he could invite her to.

Speaking of fake, beauticians, Vernesa and Sophie, were proud of their fake boobs, tan, and lips, however unfortunately for them their brains were real.  Their conversation in the whole episode revolved around talking about their lips, botox and how they actually believed that fat burning machines worked.

Another cast member was Beckaa a part time student and princess who returned from Dubai with designer gear and a nose job, boasting how her credit card was up to its $15,000 limit constantly.  She was met at the airport by an older man who at first glance and interaction looked like a sugar daddy, however it was more disturbing to find out that he was her actual father.

The issue for The Shire is it appears to not want to be like Jersey Shore. For those who don’t know the show, Jersey Shore has managed to make it into its final sixth season with the same plot line in each series.  Go out, show lots of flesh, get drunk, hook up and fight. Absolutely trashy TV, controversial when it first hit the small screen but also  entertaining in small doses.

The Shire appears to have spooked itself and made a sanitised version of the show. If you take out the getting drunk, hooking up and fighting you have a bit of flesh and some  plot lines in desperate need of development.

The one plot line viewers will see drawn out over the coming episodes will be whether former couple Mitch and Gabby will get back together.  Hell if it had been Jersey Shore and Snooki had turned up at a party and her ex  had been talking to a former girlfriend, she would have shoved her into the pool, belted back a few shots before unleashing her skanky dance moves to lure him back into her life. In The Shire the viewer saw stilted conversation – yes Gabby it was awkward indeed.

The problem for The Shire is at this stage the characters are not interesting or articulate enough to hold the viewers attention on conversation alone, and it does need controversy to liven it up.

Fortunately for Network TEN, Twitter was in a frenzy about the show, unfortunately for TEN the majority of views were negative.

They were:

The little popping noises are our brain cells dying. #TheShire@julesschiller

#TheShire appears really genuine apart from the fact that they all look and sound like they’re reading auto-cue. @pjhelliar

Breaking News: The cast of Jersey Shore ready to sue anyone that compares them to the people in The Shire. #TheShire@MichaelByrnes

However it did find a few fans with

@lawyercas tweeting: At least #TheShire is more like The Hills than Jersey Shore. Mitch is a babe#justsayin

However @stufthatibought was right when she tweeted:

Fairly sure the only reason most of us are watching #TheShire is so we can tweet along with it. The power of social media.

Will that be enough to bring the viewer back next week? Network TEN will certainly hope so.

The Shire is lowest common denominator television this does not mean it cannot be entertaining, it just did not happen in the first episode.

What did you think – bottom feeding reality TV or so trashy it was fun?



1 Seb { 07.16.12 at 11:04 pm }

I could only watch about ten minutes of it. The premise and a few well edited promos were enough to get me to tune in but the instant the stilted ‘Hey-I’m-at-the-beach-bro-dude-where-are-you-oh-look-it’s-hot-babes’ line came out I regretted doing so. When it got up to the rapper I scrambled to switch it off – it was just all so set up and fake it was cringeworthy. I hope these poor kids get what they want out of this show because I can’t see any of them looking back with pride at their ‘work’ in years to come.

2 Bolders { 07.16.12 at 11:20 pm }

It was diabolical.

3 brain dead dave { 07.16.12 at 11:37 pm }

I like train wreck television but this definitely falls into the bottom feeding unwatchable category.

The young people can probably be cut some slack but by and large they’ll be laughed at for months, perhaps years to come.

The father of Beckaa in the taxi was positively reptilian.

The producers have failed totally and abysmally.

4 Simone { 07.17.12 at 8:42 am }

I couldn’t. This from a person who devoured Jersey Shore with innocent monkey delight, and even plumbled along with Geordie Shore for a season. I couldn’t watch this.

WTF is it? Is it semi-scripted, half-scripted, totally fake, or actual people? Why mess with reality TV? Reality TV works and people (sad people like us) love it to death and messing around with it just hurts. I want it either fake or real. Not half and half.

And Mitch is completely ordinary looking. What’s the fuss?

5 PollyB { 07.17.12 at 9:21 am }

Oh dear, I watched the first 10 mins out of curiosity. Those 2 young girls with the fake everything. They already look 40 years old. Those lips, unbelievable.

6 Culinary Boner { 07.17.12 at 9:33 am }

Another shamateur Shine production?
I didn’t watch but saw enough from the promos to see that it would try to wear Jersey Shore’s cloak but most likely wimp it entirely on going all out trashy or controversial. The pretence that it’s unscripted sounds v familiar. Thanks for confirming my prejudices Raver.
Is Hey, Hey It’s Saturday still the benchmark for Australian TV production for non-drama shows? *snigger*

7 Bruiser Brody { 07.17.12 at 11:18 am }

Its the fn Aussie Hills?!?
Good ole Aussie tv – ‘capatalising’ on fads right on the deathknock, ie 10 years after the original…
What’s next, Big Brother? oh…
Australian Survivor? oh…
Amazing Race? oh…

I like how they party – all models, no-one doing anything to excess, dainty party lights in the driveway, no police presence after 200 gatecrasjers, no-one throwing bottles at the alleged rapper serving up a sht sandwich at his own party… it doesn’t get any realer!

8 Reality Raver { 07.17.12 at 1:46 pm }

Bruiser Brody – I think you summed up that party nicely.

CB – maybe if it had had a bit of Jersey Shore in it… They are all on two drink limit.

Polly B – Unfortunately their views on life were real.

Simone – LOL re: Mitch though Andy was blander.

SEb – you were not alone the first ten had a lot of people reaching for the remote. TEN will have to hope people were fascinated enough to keep on watching and that people will start liking the characters.

9 Culinary Boner { 07.17.12 at 1:51 pm }

If so, Raver, I demand their allowance be made up of one schooner of absinthe followed by a cleansing ale with two shots of vodka tipped into it.

10 Mia { 07.17.12 at 3:33 pm }

I watched bits and pieces of it during TATA ad breaks.
My partner and I couldn’t stop laughing at Vanessa and Sophie. We know who we’re going dressed as, come Halloween party time now.
We also enjoyed Becka’s bitchy gay friends saying her nose job made her look like a pig. LOL.
And I’m glad I wasn’t alone in getting distictly creepy vibes from Becka’s dad. Urgh!

11 Jko { 07.17.12 at 4:19 pm }

The ads were enough to put me off. I love Dave Hughes twitter comment “It’s hard to believe people from #theshire were capable of organizing a riot.”

12 Karen { 07.17.12 at 5:32 pm }

It’s total crap but I can’t help feeling sorry for the people in the show. They are going to cop so much abuse. The blonde girl with the new nose will find it especially hard considering she thinks she is “so pretty”.

13 smauge { 07.17.12 at 7:34 pm }

How did you all last 10 minutes??

14 Cookie { 07.17.12 at 8:49 pm }

Horrendous television! And I love me some Jersey and Geordie Shore. I watched the first ep, tweeted about how awful it was, commented on how uncomfortable that blonde chick and her dad made me, and then switched off. I won’t be watching again that’s for sure. It’s way too obviously scripted for me.

15 TaraMacca { 07.18.12 at 8:31 pm }

I’m sorry…what?? They WEREN’T drunk? Even those 2 ‘beauticians’??? At one point I asked a friend if they might’ve been stoned- that lip convo wasn’t normal…

16 Fran { 07.19.12 at 12:30 am }


If The Shite lasts another 6 episodes more…
The Producers will approach Russell Crowe to demonstrate his smartphone throwing techniques toward invading refugee boatloads approaching the Cronulla beachfront.
It appears that the Cronulla beach ‘shark nets’ are not only tattoo, solarium tan and cosmetic surgery friendly but appear to tolerate Indonesian vessels as well…

17 brain dead dave { 07.19.12 at 12:57 am }

You might want to hyphenate “boatload” there,”Fran”.

It’s too easy to tell you’re a redneck.

18 isabella { 08.15.12 at 7:27 pm }

i love the shire .my friends and i are in love with the shire even my mum is in love with the show and i would be so upset if it got cancled because its so good.