Come Dine With Me Australia – Ep 1 – Mike Jeffries Is Versatile…
So Mike Jeffries with his display of 100 polished shoes says that people don’t know whether he is gay or straight. Well I can tell you if he had lured me back to his apartment for a cup of Moccona I would have automatically assumed he was gay and dashed home to have a good night sleep.
Mike was the first person to give his dinner party tonight and he was obviously channelling Heston Blummenthal and served up garlic ice cream with pancetta for entree. However his cooking weirdness did not stop there as his main was Camel and Chorizo Braise with Garlic Mash and of course he has not cooked it before, so shouldn’t he be on Masterchef? His dessert was cappuccino cups with Shattered Chocolate.
But really is this show is not about the food it is about the chemistry and friction between the contestants. Add in a bit of alcohol and James Valentine’s voice overs and what you have is a very entertaining one hour.
The other contestants were Danielle who has obviously read Bettina Ardnt’s latest book on how to keep a man. She says her husband is the most important thing in her life, she cooks him a nice dinner and then finishes the night in the bedroom.
James is a former journo now communication consultant and has his own food blog called Prick With A Fork, and Kiri is a pre-menopausal Paris Hilton, into the designer goods and totes her dog in her handbag. Though she may have been smart to bring him to Mike’s as she could feed him the garlic ice-cream as you guessed it was unpalatable.
There was the obligatory bedroom snoop which found lace male underpants and a pair of high heel shoes. Surprise! This confused them as they did not know if he was gay or straight. Not sure why, the size of the stilletos and the fact that he salivated over Danielle’s shoes when she arrived was a dead set give away about whose they were…
In the end someone decided to ask him which way he swung and he revealed he was versatile, both boys and girls and he also liked to cross dress.
The camel main went down just as well as the garlic ice cream and James nailed it when he said about the camel there is a reason why it is not seen much on menus.
James was better with his quips to camera then in the dinner party scenario. He was finding it hard to get any air time and it wasn’t until the last night that any of them bothered to ask him what he did.
Maybe he just reminded them of this guy from The Princess Bride.
In the end Mike was given 17 points, with Danielle giving a five and the other two a six.
Kiri’s dinner was next and she knew that she only had to get her guests to eat and she would beat Mike’s score. Her tactic seemed to be to get them to drink good champagne and have a topless waiter to serve them. The only problem was the waiter looked a tad unenthusiastic in his role. Mike of course did not notice as he was too busy salivating over him not the food.
Her menu of Delightful Crab Tartlet was criticised for lack of crab, her Spicy Osso Bucco was not spicy. In fact she did not look like an enthusiastic cook. However she managed to bring out a very nice dessert a Brownie with Persian Fairy Floss. It should be noted she only made one of the three elements on the plate.
On the snoop around the apartment they were put off by the dirty bathroom. However Mike was never going to be happy with anything Kiri did. In the end she ended up getting one more point then he did scoring 18 points. Five from Mike, six from Danielle and seven from James.
Danielle was next with her Cowboys and Indians themed party. This excited Mike as he had “the perfect pair of shoes” to wear, and Kiri got confused with the Indian theme and turned up in a sari. Maybe she thought she was going to the third world as she bitched and moaned about going out west to a farm.
Danielle pumped out a perfectly adequate Pumpkin and Goats Cheese Tart, Chicken Chasseur and a full on dessert plate which was Chocolate Cheesecake and Impossible Pie.
However the highlight was the entertainment the mechanical bull that she hired help blast her to the lead on 22 points. Kiri gave her eight with the boys giving her seven.
James was the last to cook and he appeared to be the only one who was taking the food side of the show seriously
For entree was Tuna Tartare, main was Menage au trois Bouef which included oxtail cigars, beef cheeks, and he sous vide wagyu and for dessert he did Grand Marnier Souffle. Klassy Kiri did not know how to pronounce it. Danielle was even less classy spitting out an oyster in the garden. She was not a fan of James and described him as boring and pretentious.
The tuna tartare went down well except Mike who does not like wasabi from a tube. He also does not like cockroaches at all. In fact this phobia was not great when visiting James in the inner west where they are rife.
Unfortunately for James his souffle flopped and this meant he could not get the points to win and had to settle for second. In the end Danielle won because as she said they all liked her.
Come Dine With Me Australia on Tuesday nights at 8.30pm (also lots of repeats) on Lifestyle Channel.