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Come Dine With Me Australia – Ep 1 – Mike Jeffries Is Versatile…

So Mike Jeffries with his display of 100 polished shoes says that people don’t know whether he is gay or straight. Well I can tell you if he had lured me back to his apartment for a cup of Moccona I would have automatically assumed he was gay and dashed home to have a good night sleep.

Mike was the first person to give his dinner party tonight and he was obviously channelling Heston Blummenthal and served up garlic ice cream with pancetta for entree. However his cooking weirdness did not stop there as his main was Camel and Chorizo Braise with Garlic Mash and of course he has not cooked it before, so shouldn’t he be on Masterchef? His dessert was cappuccino cups with Shattered Chocolate.

But really is this show is not about the food it is about the chemistry and friction between the contestants. Add in a bit of alcohol and James Valentine’s voice overs and what you have is a very entertaining one hour.

The other contestants were Danielle who has obviously read Bettina Ardnt’s latest book on how to keep a man. She says her husband is the most important thing in her life, she cooks him a nice dinner and then finishes the night in the bedroom.

James is a former journo now communication consultant and has his own food blog called Prick With A Fork, and Kiri is a pre-menopausal Paris Hilton, into the designer goods and totes her dog in her handbag. Though she may have been smart to bring him to Mike’s as she could feed him the garlic ice-cream as you guessed it was unpalatable.

There was the obligatory bedroom snoop which found lace male underpants and a pair of high heel shoes. Surprise! This confused them as they did not know if he was gay or straight. Not sure why, the size of the stilletos and the fact that he salivated over Danielle’s shoes when she arrived was a dead set give away about whose they were…

In the end someone decided to ask him which way he swung and he revealed he was versatile, both boys and girls and he also liked to cross dress.

The camel main went down just as well as the garlic ice cream and James nailed it when he said about the camel there is a reason why it is not seen much on menus.

James was better with his quips  to camera then in the dinner party scenario. He was finding it hard to get any air time and it wasn’t until the last night that any of them bothered to ask him what he did.

Maybe he just reminded them of this guy from The Princess Bride.

In the end Mike was given 17 points, with Danielle giving a five and the other two a six.

Kiri’s dinner was next and she knew that she only had to get her guests to eat and she would beat Mike’s score. Her tactic seemed to be to get them to drink good champagne and have a topless waiter to serve them. The only problem was the waiter looked a tad unenthusiastic in his role. Mike of course did not notice as he was too busy salivating over him not the food.

Her menu of Delightful Crab Tartlet was criticised for lack of crab, her Spicy Osso Bucco was not spicy. In fact she did not look like an enthusiastic cook. However she managed to bring out a very nice dessert a Brownie with Persian Fairy Floss. It should be noted she only made one of the three elements on the plate.

On the snoop around the apartment they were put off by the dirty bathroom. However Mike was never going to be happy with anything Kiri did. In the end she ended up getting one more point then he did scoring 18 points. Five from Mike, six from Danielle and seven from James.

Danielle was next with her Cowboys and Indians themed party. This excited Mike as he had “the perfect pair of shoes” to wear, and Kiri got confused with the Indian theme and turned up in a sari. Maybe she thought she was going to the third world as she bitched and moaned about going out west to a farm.

Danielle pumped out a perfectly adequate Pumpkin and Goats Cheese Tart, Chicken Chasseur and a full on dessert plate which was Chocolate Cheesecake and Impossible Pie.

However the highlight was the entertainment the mechanical bull that she hired help blast her to the lead on 22 points. Kiri gave her eight with the boys giving her seven.

James was the last to cook and he appeared to be the only one who was taking the food side of the show seriously

For entree was Tuna Tartare, main was Menage au trois Bouef which included oxtail cigars, beef cheeks, and he sous vide wagyu and for dessert he did Grand Marnier Souffle. Klassy Kiri did not know how to pronounce it. Danielle was even less classy spitting out an oyster in the garden. She was not a fan of James and described him as boring and pretentious.

The tuna tartare went down well except Mike who does not like wasabi from a tube. He also does not like cockroaches at all. In fact this phobia was not great when visiting James in the inner west where they are rife.

Unfortunately for James his souffle flopped and this meant he could not get the points to win and had to settle for second. In the end Danielle won because as she said they all liked her.

Come Dine With Me Australia on Tuesday nights at 8.30pm (also lots of repeats) on Lifestyle Channel.

23 comments

1 Remued { 01.08.13 at 10:36 pm }

It was quite entertaining, but I’ve think they’ve condensed the show down too much – I think having it over 2 nights and showing more boozing would have been better.
And you hit the nail on the head about Mike. No questions, his shoe collection and personal demeanor were a dead give away.

2 James { 01.08.13 at 10:40 pm }

And I would note that the only reason the damn dead roach made an appearance was because the crew moved all the furniture! Cheers, Prick with a Fork

3 Remued { 01.08.13 at 10:45 pm }

James – don’t worry, I think most people would assume it came in through the open back door! Your main looked amazing

4 Ex-Essex { 01.08.13 at 11:29 pm }

James, it’s Sydney… We ALL have cockroaches. Don’t fret! Your food was by far the standout from the others

5 PollyB { 01.09.13 at 10:52 am }

I agree, they’ve cut it down too much. I want more personality. Remember Tommy!
James your main looked delicious and I don’t usually eat beef. I’ll have a go at cooking those cheeks. I would’ve loved hearing about your time in Washington.
Looking forward to next week’s show.

6 brain dead dave { 01.09.13 at 11:03 am }

Roaches are mostly protein. It should have been lightly sauteed and tossed in to give those cheeks a bit of crunch..

7 Georgie { 01.09.13 at 11:18 am }

I think it probably “came in through the bathroom window”!

8 Georgie { 01.09.13 at 11:48 am }

“So Mike Jeffries with his display of 100 polished shoes says that people don’t know whether he is gay or straight.” …… “In the end someone decided to ask him which way he swung and he revealed he was versatile, both boys and girls and he also liked to cross dress.”

It sounds like he’s not sure either.

9 James { 01.09.13 at 2:54 pm }

Thanks — yes, those big Sydney bugs (and not the Balmain kind!) took some getting used to. PollyB, drop by the blog … sometimes politics and stories from the old hometown(s) make their way up on the site. Cheers!

10 Gabby { 01.10.13 at 12:14 pm }

James was a pain in the neck and the fuss he and the women made about the cockroach was ridiculous. Just because Jame’s menu was stinking and ridiulouse he wasn’t going to say anything nice about anyone else.
I liked the show. Clouldn’t believe someone would take their dog to someones home home and then proceed to let them eat from the dishes and lick the the cutlery. Talk about extreme bad manners! If the show was to be judged for it’s food, James did deserve to win but for atmosphere, the right person won. Looking forward to further episodes.

11 Come Dine With Me: Final Thoughts | Prick With A Fork { 01.11.13 at 6:02 pm }

[…] Reality Ravings has a pretty good round-up of the episode, and kudos to whomever is writing Foxtel’s TV listings for capturing the spirit of the […]

12 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 6:22 pm }

Having eaten often in kitchens and restaurants all over India, and loving it, my rule is it’s not really good Indian food if there’s no cockies in the kitchen and if the chef doesn’t scratch his bum while he’s cooking. It all adds to the flavour.

13 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 6:24 pm }

Bet no-one will come to my house for a curry now.

14 Gabby { 01.11.13 at 7:49 pm }

Hey Daisy, are you Indian or have you just travelled there? I have been to India a couple of times, I am a great fan. I had a good laugh when I read you post and could relate well.

15 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 9:14 pm }

Gabby, Ilike to brag that I’m part Indian but really I’m not sure exactly where all my genes originnate. My Grandmother was born in Kaluthara, south of Colombo in Sri Lanka and my grandfather was also born somewhere in Sri Lanka. “Granny” my grandfather’s mother was born in Jaffna. My family moved to Bangalore in India and then came by ship to Australia in the 30s. We are mixed, Sri Lankan/Dutch/Belgian way back. The Indian bit I’m not sure but when I am in Rajistan I always ‘see’ my grandparents. We eat like Indians (lots, curries and feed allcomers). We talk like Indians; everyone talking at once.
As for India we have travelled there every year for the past 7 or so years, going to different places each time. I love Delhi, Darjeeling, Jaipur (although it’s changed so much) and Udaipur. If you ever going again I can recommend some good hotels. We stayed in the Grand Palace Lahlit in Kashmir. What a treat. If you go to Darjeeling stay at the Mayfair, in Jaipur Alsisar Haveili and in Udaipur Lake Pichola 9the Lake Palace is grander but $$$$$$.
Love the food in those dirty kitchens. Did you get someone to show you how to cook chai on the stove. We have also been to Sri Lanka lots of times. My daughter and her family have lived there for about 4 years. Gabby, what’s your favourite place in India?

16 Gabby { 01.11.13 at 10:17 pm }

Daisy, how exciting what a mixed background you have. Would have to say my favourite place is Varanassi. Love it. I have always had a thing for India, I am sure I was an Indian in a previous life. I had a great trip there a few years ago with my dearest friend and our two daughters, it was a trip of a life time. I arranged it all. None of this five star rubbish, mores the pity, but we had a ball. I think that will be my last trip though so will not be needing the names of any hotels thank you. Then again, never say die, you never know, I wouldn’t say no..

17 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 10:26 pm }

Varanassi …I thought it was post-apocalypse, but good.

18 Morgan { 01.11.13 at 11:19 pm }

I never watch this show for good cooking (95% of the people on the show can’t cook), but James’ menu and the food itself looked great and I think he was robbed of his win. Danielle was a total bogan. Spitting an oyster into the host’s garden? Classy…

19 Gabby { 01.11.13 at 11:25 pm }

Daisy, Jaisalmer, Jodhpur and Jaipur more favourites, I could go on. Are you planning a trip this year?

20 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 11:47 pm }

Rolf wants to go somewhere. I have been googling places. We have been going to China for a few weeks every year (we move around), and India. We also alternate other Asian countries, such as Japan, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, Cambodia and we stop over usually in Thailand or Malaysia. It’s been our business.
I haven’t decided where or when we will go away next. Since moving out of town I am happy to stay home but I’m sure I’ll be ready to take off soon. The next trip will just be a holiday only.
Yeah, Jaisalmer. We went by train and it was the best and the worst trip. Listening to Pink Floyd on MP3 while travelling by rickety old train across the desert. Felt unreal. What a place!!
Also did you do the Kerala backwaters rice barge trip?

21 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 11:49 pm }

Gabby my email is on its way so we don’t get told off by someone for talking about travel.

22 Daisy { 01.11.13 at 11:49 pm }

Gabby my email address is on its way so we don’t get told off by someone for talking about travel.

23 brain dead dave { 01.15.13 at 2:27 pm }

It’s not so much the cockroaches but their faeces that are a problem, being a common cause of allergic reactions.