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Guest Post From Annajjj – House Rules And The Dust Is Flying

Back for the third episode of House Rules and first up a quick reminder of everything that we saw 23 hours ago including a flash back to Michelle yelling for her husband and was anyone else reminded of Throw Momma From The Train’s momma calling for Owen?

Teams arrive at the house and we get another reminder of the challenge the teams face and that the house has been divided into zones and each team gets a zone. Judging will be done by judges and the owners.

Cue oboe music as we cross to Jane and Plinth struggling with their bathroom and Plinth shows us how he dries himself in hotel bathrooms. Looks ineffective to me but whatever.

Nick and Chris’s team are struggling with clichés and Chris and his spanner in the works has put them one step behind the eight ball. They have to get their kitchen installed today or they will be in serious trouble.

Michelle and Steve know a thing or two about DIY and Michelle suggests she has heaps of spac filler for the big gaps. Michelle inspects the quality of Steve’s work and is unimpressed. Steve reminds us that they hold the Battler’s title and as a result they should win.

Amy and Sean up their cute factor to 15+ in matching singlets. And is that…yes it is…Amy has a black eye which she explains came as a result of walking into Sean’s hammer. We’ll assume this happened off screen or possibly last night at the motel and Sean’s hammer is a euphemism for ah…tool?

Minds firmly out of the gutter and off we go to Masters to watch Amy struggle with architraves. She calls for help and is this a new cool way of using the phone that I was unaware of?

Leighton says we need a plinth for the tilers but he’s busy working on the bathroom so Leighton will have to make do with someone else. Hi girlfriend Reese Witherspoon offers to help him but the best thing she can do is go away so he can get things done.

Disaster in the kitchen as the fridge is smack bang against the pantry. Chris KNEW this would be the case but for some reason kept quiet about it until now possibly so he could say I told you so to his brother. Ah brotherly love.

In one of those bizarre twists that producers come up with to stir up trouble keep things interesting, the teams are told they now have to book their tradies time using the same weird paper roster system that art students employ in their attempts to organise their group houses. This works just about as effectively as there are two pens handed out (read grabbed) by the two closest teams leaving everyone else to stand around and bitch as all the good spots are taken. Control freak Jane rushes in to book every tradie for every minute while husband Plinth stands by looking awkward. Nick has a little bitch to camera about the selfishness of the other teams.

Momma Michelle has a discussion with the designer and wow is she really that tall or is that camera angle? Momma tells her that it’s almost like the real world with real clients to work for. The fact that she is working with four future clients seems to have escaped her notice.

Small meltdown from Amy and Sean wins Caring Sensitive Husband of the Year by blaming everything on himself.

Caroline McCrave-Burger shows up again with her annoying hair to point out the major rookies mistake Nick and Chris have made in designing the pantry door to face the fridge door. Not sure how they can fix that but it’s nice of her to point out that they’ve made a huge mistake. Nick is in a positive frame of mind though. He thinks they won’t get judged harshly on the fridge placement since there are heaps of other mistakes for the owners to focus on.

Reese is sent off to shop to get her out of the way. Reese gets excited as finally she can give up sharpening pencils or posing as wardrobe side walls and provide some real value to their team. Unfortunately she is limited in what she can buy as Leighton has very firm ideas on bamboo. I have very firm ideas on bamboo and Leighton right now too.

People are exhausted and start falling asleep all over the worksite.

Next day and Leighton waves a saw at Reece’s head while ordering her to find mushroom mould. That’s a thing? Cute couple Seamy exchange a kiss.

Now my favourite line of the episode. Requisite hunky tradie explains that “just because it’s called self-levelling concrete doesn’t mean it levels itself”. Brilliant! Chris does another I told you so.

Steve aka OHS Kel is annoyed that he can’t paint due to all the dust. Perhaps they could ask Jane to vacuum it up again. Side note – I did wonder what the Tassie couple thought when they saw the footage from the second episode showing the two of them declaring they are not idiots interspersed with footage of Jane industriously vacuuming the bathroom while the machine spewed dust from the back.

Speaking of Jane, she is unleashing her creativity in true Mia Michaels style which means ignoring what everyone else likes and going with her own genius. She has found a small black coffee mug and threads it with some red wool to create the world’s smallest stupidest light fitting. No one can work out how to hang it but Mia Michaels thinks it looks industrial or edgy or something so it stays.

Michelle shopping now and has found very New York style chandelier for Jemma. She tortures a poor shop assistant by doing an interpretive dance of walking down a hallway.

Homeowners Jemma and her husband, Barry DuBois Jnr appear briefly on camera again to remind us who they are and that they are apprehensive about what might be happening to their house as there are very old people with very old tastes renovating it but let’s face it they have a 1970’s house built on a sand pit so they really can’t be expecting much worse.

Michelle describes her vision for the bedroom to Kel – bed, bedside tables…Kel wants a mirror on the ceiling and pretends he is only joking and right now I’m really wishing Jemma and Barry Jnr were flies on the wall.

Kitchen floor looks good. Beauty room looks good. Hall looks like a bomb site.

OHS Kel is sprawled out in the living room in Child’s pose having a stretch. Thankfully we are spared Downward Dog. He advises us that one of the disadvantages of being older than the other contestants is that they aren’t as young and flexible. Cheers for that.  Loving wife Michelle shows up to give him a wedgie which promptly destroys Kel’s tranquillity and the appetites of anyone having a late dinner.

Jane secures her position as most irritating contestant by wandering around removing people’s water bottles. Then its bed time for her while everyone else prepares for an all-nighter painting and assembling flat packs. There is some pretty sloppy painting going on.

Ad break and we are reminded that Celebrity Belly Flop is still screening and has anyone seen an episode of this ever?

The cold light of day reveals all the mistakes the exhausted teams made the previous night. Well everyone but Jane who is bouncing about loudly wishing Plinth a very 48th birthday. Plinth who has aged 15 years in the last three days brushes her off. You’ll pay for that later mate.

Hall cupboard drama and Seamy threaten to have a melt-down but instead rally and decide to split up and keep working.

Kels lounge has turned up – well he thinks it is their lounge. Um who else’s would it be? Jane and Plinth’s bathroom lounge?

Leighton has a hissy fit at poor Reese who continues to grin bravely to camera. Ok I know he is tired but lay off your girlfriend mate.

And we end on a dramatic note as the back of Seamy’s hall cupboard has gone missing. Personally I smell sabotage. Has Chris stolen it so he can tell them I told you so when it turns up? Has Kel stolen it to provide a backing for his creepy ceiling mirror? Has Jane taken it to turn it into an abstract coffee table/bathroom mat?

We have to wait until next week to find out.

36 comments

1 Jaycee47 { 05.17.13 at 10:34 am }

Good recap Annajjj! I started out watching this as The Block Sky High was annoying me, especially the Vic couple. Some of the couples on MHR are also starting to get on my nerves, especially Michelle the Monster. Boy, is she overpowering. Nick doesn’t seem to know too much for a tradie but he is only 21 after all.

As for Jane and THAT light fitting….WTF! I thought they asked for a chandelier…..what was she thinking! Not really liking her much as time goes on.

This is only the start…how will the couples fare as they continue renovating…..should be interesting when it comes to time to do their house if they have become unpopular!

Should be interesting when they come to SA as the nearest Masters store is located at Mt Gambier!!

2 Georgie { 05.17.13 at 1:10 pm }

Thanks Annajjj, well done and a great read.

I’ve been watching a bit of both House Rules and The Block but haven’t settled on either. Not sure of who’s who in House Rules yet – other than Michelle that is!

Also not sure if the owners have any say in the style and what/how the reno is done, but I’d be extremely concerned if it was my house. So many different people, with different skill levels, tastes and standards, let loose to cause more problems than I had to start with. Nuh!

3 Georgie { 05.17.13 at 1:11 pm }

RR, my comment just went into “awaiting moderation” hole.

4 Reality Raver { 05.17.13 at 1:28 pm }

Annajjj – spot on with equating Reese Witherspoon to Carly

5 brain dead dave { 05.17.13 at 1:42 pm }

Congrats Annajjj. Great read.

6 annajjj { 05.17.13 at 2:24 pm }

Thanks guys – my first attempt so I’ve heavily copied RR’s (and other’s) style. I’ve been watching The Block but House Rules is so much funnier. The teams are hilarious expecially Jane & Plinio and Michelle & Steve.

7 LB { 05.17.13 at 2:39 pm }

Are you sure you weren’t watching HR at our place, Annajjj? Pretty much mirrored what we were saying, but much funnier – great job!

Jane could medal in Being Annoying – what was she thinking flouncing off home to sleep when Plinth (as he shall be known forever more) toiled through the night. I would have been seething at her.

And Michelle’s voice – urgh. Would have spack-filled her!

Carly & Leighton are dead ringers (even physically) for a couple we know. Had to be careful typing their names as nearly put the wrong names in :-/

Really looking forward to Mondays reveal – will be great to see what the teams actual styles are other than screwing up.

Am liking the mix of teams on this – no-one who infuriates me to the point of not wanting to watch, enough to make us yell at the tv, and some good senses of humour.

8 Veronica { 05.17.13 at 3:12 pm }

Thanks Annajjj for such a funny recap. I’m enjoying the show too as there are some really funny (stupid) people who are making me laugh. Michelle reminds me of someone I know and, as someone who has spent many years in the decorating industry, I’m very impressed with her certificate 3 in interior design – not! Then there’s the rough as guts air hostie and her Warwick Capper look a like boyfriend who hates bamboo. I feel soooo much better knowing that!
I’m loving Kel and the ditsy Jane thinking that little black light is “out there and edgy”. Can’t wait to see what sort of mess they’ve all made of the house and the look on the “I must have a beauty room” princess’s face.

9 Jennie1 { 05.18.13 at 3:47 am }

Thank you for such an accurate and hilarious re-cap. I found your blog while searching for how Amy got her black eye, as had missed the explanation in the show, and I’d felt there was something odd about this couple from the start (which probably says more about me than them).
Funniest moment for me so far on the show was when someone (not sure of name – looks like Jane?) was asking the gyprocker what it actually was, the gyprocker pointed out it was plasterboard, they had a lightbulb moment making the connection with plasterboard and walls, the gyprocker pointed out it also involved the ceiling. ‘Oh right, the ceiling too? Right’ I thought surely she’s putting it on, but no

10 Daisy { 05.18.13 at 3:41 pm }

Great job on the recap annajjjj.
PS I got a border Collie puppy today. No name yet.

11 Veronica { 05.18.13 at 4:21 pm }

Oh how gorgeous Daisy but such a lot of work. We have a 6 year old golden retriever and she is still a puppy in many ways. I love both breeds. So, where will puppy be sleeping tonight?

12 Daisy { 05.18.13 at 5:37 pm }

Veronica: supposedly the garage attached to the house but probably in Woolif’s bed once he cries.
BTW Officialy it’s Woolif”s dog because I don’t want to clean the poo.

He is sooooooo adorable: puppy not Woolif.
We had border collies before and love them. He has an acre to run and dig up.

13 Veronica { 05.18.13 at 6:21 pm }

Daisy I feed and my husband takes care of the other end. Works out quite well.
Is puppy crying yet?

14 daisy { 05.18.13 at 7:57 pm }

Veronica, thanks for taking an interest. He hasn’t cried but it’s not bedtime yet. Woolif bought him a fabulous big spongy begd and some toys. I gave him a teddy. He’s had a play and now he’s lying on the floor sleeping while we watch Survivor repeats. He doesn’t seem to be a Survivor fan. I’ll see how he goes with B&B. Ha ha.

15 woolif { 05.18.13 at 8:29 pm }

The link is to a photo of Daisy with the latest (as yet unnamed) addition to our family. He is a beautiful ball of fluff.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/woolif/

16 Georgie { 05.19.13 at 7:43 am }

Hiya daisy and woolif – love the photo. Good looking woman and cute little pup. Are you going to run a ‘name our Collie’ competition?

17 Georgie { 05.19.13 at 7:47 am }

RR my comment just went to the black hole!

18 woolif { 05.19.13 at 9:46 am }

Good idea Georgie.
Everyone is welcome to suggest names for our new pup.
Our latest preferred name is Arji.
We will make decision on his name tomorrow morning.

19 daisy { 05.19.13 at 9:51 am }

Good idea, Georgie. We’ve started with Arji (barji). So if anyone can beat that.
Such a good boy. He didn’t cry last night. He’s snuggled at Woolif’s feet right now.
He did want to chew the kashmiri carpets though.

20 Georgie { 05.19.13 at 10:45 am }

I like Arji although it’s a bit close to Ajay. Anyway, I’ll put up ‘Roy’ a Celtic name which means both Red and King. I know your pup isn’t red, but for what it’s worth, the legendary King Arthur was said to be a redhead – as I’m sure a lot of Celtic Kings were.

21 woolif { 05.19.13 at 11:02 am }

Thanks for the suggestion Georgie.
I had also thought of Roy for the same reasons. It is under consideration.
Raj, also means king and is in the mix.
Will be discussing names with the family at dinner tonight.

22 Techhater { 05.19.13 at 11:47 am }

Annajjj Great recap. I find i’m recording The Block and ff through to interesting bits. Been a Blockhead since it started but losing interest fast. Really just want to see the room reveals. However, am loving the fast pace of MHR.

Daisy and Woolif why not Akela from the Jungle book. It means big or lone wolf.

23 Daisy { 05.19.13 at 12:43 pm }

TH, that was the track I was on; an Indian theme.
We tossed up Sabu who acted as Mowgli in the original Jungle Book. Also
Raja
Raju
Raji
Trust you guys to be goodat coming up with names.
I wonder if CB or BDD have any ideas. But it has to be names I can call out at a park without gettingstrange looks, or arrested.

24 Daisy { 05.19.13 at 12:45 pm }

Georgie, speaking of King Arthur….ha ha did you know Woolif’s real name is Arthur, without the King.

25 Izobel2 { 05.19.13 at 1:05 pm }

My daughter attends school with a little Indian girl named Raji and she’s the cutest little girl I’ve ever met, so that’s my pic!

26 Veronica { 05.19.13 at 1:18 pm }

What a beautiful boy Daisy. How was your first night together?
I don’t have any suggestions for Indian names but I do know a border collie named Checker which I think is cute.
We’re in the Blue Mountains for the w/e where it’s very cold but sunny and with lots of Autumn colour. We’ve already been to the doggy park today to catch up on 2 legged and 4 legged friends.

27 Techhater { 05.19.13 at 1:22 pm }

Daisy I am a huge fan of Kipling. Mowgli means Little Frog and his “mother” wolf, Raksha means she-devil. Not a name I would give a daughter. But i’m also a big fan of Time Team and one of my faves on that is a girl named Raksha.

28 Techhater { 05.19.13 at 1:37 pm }

Daisy i’m sure Woolif will always be your king and you his queen. Lol. Also don’t know meaning of Sabu in Indian but in Afrikaan it means Mr Turtle or Mr Tortoise.

29 Daisy { 05.19.13 at 1:51 pm }

You guys are whiz’s on names.
Veronica, I was surprised how good he was. I expected him to cry but no he didn’t. I put a baby heater in the garage; the sort you can touch, with the chord out of his reach. That might have helped.
Is that spoiling?

30 Daisy { 05.19.13 at 1:56 pm }

Keeps swallowing my comments.

31 Daisy { 05.19.13 at 2:18 pm }

Izobel, what about Rajjjjji because we got him on annajjj’s guest pppost.

32 Izobel2 { 05.19.13 at 7:02 pm }

Yeah good one!! I guess that’s how you’ll be saying it sometimes, esp when he does a doo doo on the Persian…

33 daisy { 05.19.13 at 10:39 pm }

Ha ha, Izobel.

34 brain dead dave { 05.20.13 at 11:11 pm }

I want Steve to hang me a “wall muriel”.

Michelle: “We’re gonna make a conceited effort”.

Priceless.

35 Georgie { 05.21.13 at 12:27 am }

I heard Michelle say “conceited effort” too bdd and the words came up on captions, just in case I thought I misheard it. Hahaha, “conceited effort” is the new “inspirated”.

36 brain dead dave { 05.21.13 at 12:58 am }

With the $9,000 miscalculation on concrete last week and the contestant who didn’t know what gyprock is , I’m getting a few laughs from this show, Georgie.