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Guest Post: House Rules And It Is The Victorian Teams Turn

Over to Annajjj for another great recap:

Day one of the Melbourne reno, home of the Greek boys. Voiceover tells us that we have had blood sweat and tears so far but actually we haven’t seen blood until this episode. The boys have a 1960s bungalow in Preston with a mortgage of $524K.

We get a few family and camera-conscious friends shots while the boys tell us they enjoy socialising, have high standards and nothing less than perfect will do. They are nervous and who could blame them.

Teams arrive and Jane tells us she is refreshed and relaxed. Our house is done she says so we can concentrate on getting back at the competition. Well she might have said back into the competition but we all know what she was really thinking.

Any final words asks Jo confusing this with an execution. If you think you know us think again says Nick. Everyone looks confused. What does that mean? And no white adds Chris which is a pretty gutsy move. Jemma may get to do her floor to ceiling in hi-vis orange after all.

Tent and portaloo are set up at the front of the house for Jemma and Barry Jnr. Not sure about this camping out punishment. It feels a bit like someone got their wires crossed during story board week.

Senior producer: Ok so the winning team each week gets first pick of the zones, that’s pretty good and um we need something really intense for the losers.

Junior producer: Really in tents. Got it. Leave it with me.

Teams inspect the rooms and deduce that Nick’s room must be the one with the weights in it. Given those hand weights look like 1.5kg each it is probably safer to assume its Chris’s room. Michelle is disgusted by the toilet and bath and says it is obvious these are a couple of young bachelors who spend their money on hair rather than cleaning products. Barry says not much thought has gone into their décor and Jane and Plinth muse about adding marble and Greek columns to the house. It is possible they are kidding but it’s equally possible they aren’t.

We get a look at the new floor plan and the orange zone takes up a third of the house while the bathroom and laundry zone is tiny. After torturing everyone by deliberating for several minutes Seamy go insane and choose the largest area.

So Seamy – kitchen, meals and family room. Michelle and Kel get the tiny bathroom and laundry which poses a problem for Kel’s vision of a ceiling mirror. Jemma and Barry get the lounge room and the entrance. The producers hate Chris so Jane and Plinth get his room and ensuite and they plan to bring the je-bang. If only Chris was here to hear that. Leighton and Reese get Nick’s room, the hall and the den.

House Rules are revealed and they are pretty brave considering the interpretive skills of the other teams.

Mad Men cool, colour should be moody and murky, retro divider between the entrance and lounge, kitchen bold and dramatic and take risks. Personally I’d add No bright annoying colours, no Danish/art deco and no ceiling mirrors.

At the hotels teams are nutting out the house rules and Kel is confusing Mad Men with The Simpsons. Michelle tries to reel him back in but Kel isn’t having it.  He knows what he wants but can’t actually explain it in words. On this occasion words are refusing to just come to him.

Day 2 and the pointlessly-colour-coordinated teams arrive back to start planning and demolishing. Seamy talk again about being the rookies and having no experience which is getting a bit boring and isn’t really the case anymore after two renos in two weeks. They have a meeting with Michelle and Kel and everyone seems to agree on the division of space at this stage.

Before we cut to an ad break there is Another Shock Discovery. Does no one do pre purchase building inspections anymore? After the break it’s downgraded to a surprise discovery and it’s just a fireplace. Leighton has dust on his upper lip which makes him look like Hitler. This may be deliberate.

A quick cut across to Jane and Plinth. She gesticulates a bit and he does a couple of Dad jokes then its over to Jemma and Barry secretly making secret notes in a secret diary. How long do we have to wait before someone loses the diary? Not long as it turns out and by a careful process of elimination Barry works out that actually no one has stolen it, he’s just dropped it somewhere.

Reese is given the job of design manager. A role that is revoked about 5 seconds later when she brushes off Leighton’s affection. Leighton don’t like rejection and immediately abuses her, dismisses her and later stomps out to confront and disagree with her.

Jemma and Barry reveal their secret weapon which is a hidden fireplace and built in wood stack. Then Jemma comes up with another idea which is to raise the height of the room back to what it was in the 1900’s.

Annoying ‘Bonus Extra’ of Sean being nice to everyone.

Demolition continues and Michelle hollers for Kel. Barry thinks she sounds like a dead cat. A dead one huh?

Kel sets up the next scenes by telling us how important safety is. Sean is shown diligently taping windows but Plinth hasn’t got time for that. He gives his window a good belt with his pole and Chester makes a brief appearance in this episode to tell him off. In another part of the house Barry’s window breaks and cuts his hand and we meet the blood component of the blood, sweat and tears brief. Looks nasty.

Amy tells us she likes getting dirty and thousands of husbands suddenly take an interest in this program. Small back story on Amy’s dad and she gets through it without tears so good for her.

Nearly the end of demolition day and Jane and Plinth have gone shopping for a bed for Chris. They finally find one and Plinth is all meh but Jane loves it so it’s deemed perfect. Back in the car Plinth does a few of those quick panting breaths they teach you to help deal with contractions in labour/drama teachers.

Reese tells us her vision and goes to confer with her partner but Leighton is still cranky so he will not engage in the decision making. Do you want wall lights? he yells over and over and she just won’t give him the satisfaction of a yes or no answer. This goes on for a while. These two have major communication issues.

Back to Nick and Chris who tell us again that they hope the other teams don’t mess up their home.

Michelle and Kel go shopping for tiles and explain to the young shop assistant that they are after moody and murky. To her credit she doesn’t recoil in horror and instead takes them over to see the street art range. They love it. Jump around music starts up and Kel and Michelle repeatedly strike a gansta pose. Kel tells us he’s always been a bit flamboyant and out there and this brief is allowing him to fulfil his visions. I’m liking these two more with each episode.

Teasers for tomorrow show us Seamy going head to head with Michelle and Kel over room sizes and more fighting from Leighton and Reese which no one is looking forward to. Hoping this series doesn’t go the way of The Block and Kitchen Rules and become more about the drama than the show.


1 Jason { 05.29.13 at 10:40 am }

I am wondering if the boys are actually going to live there. I figured they would be doing the usual ethnic boy thing of buying a rundown house, doing a reno, then re-selling for profit (all whilst living at home with parents who do everything for them). I wonder if the other teams feel like they are not doing this for the good of another couple or family.

2 brain dead dave { 05.29.13 at 11:11 am }

Reese should just dump the abuser Leighton now. He won’t come straight out and say it but the subtext of his lectures to her is “you’re stupid”, whereas his stuffups are glossed over ie the pissweak selection of chairs for The Plynth& Co.

Compare how miserable they are to lovebirds Sean and Amy, who actually appear to be having moments of fun and happiness.

Leighton’s got potential to be even grumpier than than Keith. They’ll lose and Reese will be blamed for it.

Thanks for the fun read again,annajjj.

3 JK { 05.29.13 at 1:42 pm }

I’m really enjoying this reno show, a million times better than the block! I was hesitant at first with a reality show on channel 7, but hey there is a first for everything!

4 Veronica { 05.29.13 at 1:54 pm }

Thanks Annajjj, I find your recaps more entertaining than the actual show.
Only realised last night that Mrs Seamy is a personal trainer which explains why she is soooo muscley.
Hope this house looks better than the last one!

5 Rocky { 05.29.13 at 2:05 pm }

Great recap annajjj. I think Steve was referencing MAD magazine from back in his day which is where he gets this “cartoony” feel. Now that’s where he gives the over 40 set a bad name.

I knew that by Reese finally throwing Leighton under the bus where he belonged at the last house reveal, when she said “I never liked the couches and no one else did either” (meaning the judges and Jane and Plinth) meant that Leighton was coming back for revenge, which is what we see with him “voluntarily” turning the design tasks entirely over to Reese.. In the hopes that she makes a fool of herself on camera. Leighton’s passive aggressive is short on the passive part.

6 annajjj { 05.29.13 at 2:43 pm }

Rocky you’re right – I totally missed that but of course he must have been thinking Mad Magazine, lol.
Leighton doesn’t seem to like his girlfriend much, aside from the obvious nastiness he also rolls his eyes and goes blank expression when she is talking to camera. I love your last line!

7 Tuppence { 05.29.13 at 2:52 pm }

Chris gets on my nerves. He says he wants the reno to be perfect, yet leaves the loo in disgraceful mess. Maybe he wants it to be perfect so he doesn’t have to do any housework afterwards.
Also, did anyone else notice that when Jo was “greeting” the teams at the front of the house, the portaloo was on the lawn next to the tent, but in the shots of the front area afterwards, there was no portaloo.

8 brain dead dave { 05.29.13 at 3:03 pm }

Maybe the portaloo was initially “dumped” there (pun intended) and later moved to a more discreet location. Shit happens.

I too, noticed it “featured ” in the initial footage at the beginning.

9 Andrea { 05.29.13 at 3:17 pm }

I’m really enjoying this show too much to my surprise, as I can’t stand The Block or that other show The Renovators.

I wonder why the tent couldn’t have been put into the back yard instead of the front, it would have been a bit quieter for them.

I love the idea of those streetwise tiles, I reckon the boys will love those.
Leighton has a few anger issues, yelling at Carly like that about more lights, he just went on and on.

10 Nib { 05.29.13 at 5:55 pm }

Brilliant review again…

11 Rocky { 05.29.13 at 6:54 pm }

I agree Andrea about this show keeping your interest more than The Block and Renovators, This show is so intense and the logistics of having so many teams all concentrated on one single house for only a week.. It kind of reminds you of a new and improved Extreme Makeover and we know how big a hit that show was for years.

I also think we, the audience, gets the biggest payoff in following this show in seeing a completed project , as opposed to a room a week, and the immediate owner’s reactions instead of some future buyer who we don’t even know.

Plus great editing and camera work in tight quarters. So winner so far is House Rules!

12 Jess { 06.03.13 at 1:21 am }

This perfectly sums up the relationship…

“Reese is given the job of design manager. A role that is revoked about 5 seconds later when she brushes off Leighton’s affection. Leighton don’t like rejection and immediately abuses her, dismisses her and later stomps out to confront and disagree with her.”

So bad.