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House Rules – The Double Episode

Annajjj must be exhausted after last nights double episode. Fantastic effort and over to her:

Double episode tonight for NSW and QLD and we get all the rest of the SA renovation; apart from the last frantic hours or as Kel calls it “the curse of day 7” and the actual reveal which is on Monday.

Leighton and Reese are still over at Couples Counselling Camp where they seem to be tolerating each other quite well. So far they’ve successfully completed the Driving Long Distances Together and Boring Walks Along A Beach modules. Over the next four days they attempt the Repeatedly Wearing A Shirt The Other Person Hates unit and really these two will be ready for marriage before you know it.

Michelle and Kel are up before dawn to go on a road trip in search of pudding face sandstone bricks. They are worried about both being away from the house and how about just one of you go then?

Bossy Jane brings everyone together for a meeting so they can all be on the same page with the flow plan. It’s actually a good idea but she slightly spoils it with arm waving dramatics. I don’t know anything about renovating but I know about meetings she declares. The camera gets right up close and under Jane’s nostrils which isn’t necessary but is enjoyable as it makes her look completely mad.

Kelma and Louise are still on their road trip and they are still labouring under the illusion that they have a chance of being at the top of the leader board this week. They find sandstone but it’s wrong and then the quarry guy scratches the surface and no it’s actually perfect. They muck around a bit in delight and it’s Romancing the Stone in Adelaide. We love Kel and Michelle.

The boys are building a fireplace from scratch and Nick sends the feminine part of the team off to the shops while he demonstrates his own manliness by knocking down the lounge room walls.

Kel arrives back to find Barry has stooged him with measurements. Kel puts his foot down. He needs his water feature and he tries to reason with Barry Jnr who is pushing back. I badly want him to say “listen Baz you prick, it’s my goddam hallway and you’re not making it narrower and how about eff off” but instead Kel calls his supplier and gets him to reduce the width of the water feature. Pushy Barry Jnr gives him one of his special teamwork hugs.

Next up we get Plinth still banging on again about the doorway positioning with Seamy. Even though it’s nothing to do with them, Barry and Jemma get in on the action and have a grizzle to yard cam about the inflexibility of Seamy which upsets everyone on Facebook. Word of advice gice; don’t f**k with Australia’s sweethearts m’kay?

Jemma, Jane and Amy go shopping together for flooring and they share a bonding moment talking about how hard men are to live with. Jane, who is surely married to Australia’s most tolerant man, tries to threaten a salesman with Plinth’s possible mafia connections. Even she can’t keep a straight face at the image that invokes.

Back at the house Jemma and Barry have a disaster. The stone benchtop they want is out of budget. Barry won’t take no for an answer and its becoming clear that Barry’s modis operandi is to irritate other people to the point where they agree with what he wants just to get him to STFU.

McCrave-Burger is getting quite a lot of screen time this week. She’s over at Seamy’s zone today to grind down any confidence they might have developed. She doesn’t think they can fit everything into their ensuite but offers absolutely nothing in the way of advice or assistance. Thanks McCrave.

Nick is under pressure. He lends Kel his ladder then ramps up his unlikeability factor by bitching about Kel going over his 10 second allocation. In Leighton’s absence we have a new alpha dickhead in town. Nick declares he is the only person in this whole house who actually knows exactly what he is doing, and there are audible cheers from Adelaide when the plumber later tells him his fireplace won’t work.

Chris(tine) is back out shopping for couches and he is under pressure to get it right this time. A quick reminder of how wrong he got it at Jane and Plinth’s but to be fair there were minimal choices and a Danish art deco constraint in Tassie. Chris is still uncertain about his choices though. I’m a bloke he titters nervously to car cam, and I don’t know anything about cushions and lights etc.

Someone who does know design is Michelle. She’s remembered a tip from design school and has created a mood board.  She goes off shopping, mood board in hand and she can’t believe it has taken her four renos to remember to make a mood board. I can’t either. Think of all the fun we could have had with that.

Jemma and Barry arrange to meet with the owner of the kitchen company to try and bully him into giving them for rock bottom prices. He agrees if Barry helps to install the kitchen but we aren’t given any idea of what rock bottom actually means.

Voiceover announces the hero of the lounge room has arrived and no. Just no. Don’t start introducing MKR catch phrases into this program, we’re doing fine without more wank-speak thanks. It’s a broken fireplace. Nick decides to upset his brother and enlists everyone else to play along that it can’t be replaced. It’s a pretty lame stitch up but we do get to see Chris break out in a cold sweat of panic so there’s that.

Over to Seamy and McCrave is back in the outfit she was wearing last episode and happily pointing out a few more issues. She tells them their toilet is in the wrong place but the plumbing and tiling is already done and frankly it’s a bit late in the piece for these criticisms helpful design hints McCravey. She moves off, her evil work done here and leaves Amy sobbing in her wake.

That night teams get some relaxation as Michelle and Kel are hosting a Hawaiian themed party and everyone seems to be really enjoying themselves. They are treated to Acoustic Kel: Live and Raw. He throws everything he has into his performance and, possibly because they are tanked up on wine, everyone loves it.

Next morning and it’s good to see Jane has recovered well from her crippling back injury. She leaps energetically from the car then trots up the driveway. Thanks Panadol®.

For some reason there is only one tiler in Adelaide who is allowed to set foot in this house and as he arrives the brothers grab him for their bathroom. Sean tries unsuccessfully to bribe him and why, when they only get 7 days to do the whole house, do we have to have these stupid constraints as well?

Jemma and Barry still have budget issues and it looks like they can’t have their bench top but baboumb it’s already done. Suck it up gice.

The rest of the country joins us at this point and we continue the House Rules marathon.

First off it seems Kel has killed the flow of the house by having his wall too short or too narrow. He gets told off by the young guys but says he doesn’t need anyone beating him up. He’s quite capable of beating himself thanks. Kel makes the painful decision to tear down the wall and rebuild it.

Over to Team Plinth and they are making the laundry in a cupboard which is a clever idea for a small space. Jane struggles with Tradie language. Cornice, plasterboard, powerpoint; its all a bit baffling really.

Sean is waiting for the tilers and doing a bit of measuring and Nick comes in to tease him. Nick reminds us that he knows everything about renovating and Sean is just an amateur. Three words Nick. Self. Levelling. Concrete.

Jemma is shopping with no money. For most people this is called window shopping but on House Rules apparently you can buy things even when you are completely broke. Wish they would tell us what the individual zone budgets are. She finds stools she likes and the saleswoman even throws in some mismatched red cushions.

Jane has learnt a new Tradie term – overflow. She tells us all about it in detail but she doesn’t have a clue what it looks like. There is a bit of hounding of Plinth about whether or not he ordered a sink with an overflow and it is patently obvious he didn’t but he tries to cover up.

Ad break which shows us the new judges for X-factor and that guy who sang Sexy and I Know It is apparently one of the judges. Kyle Sandilands, Guy Sebastien and now this guy. X-factor talent judge table is a talent vacuum.

New day breaks and Kel threatens to. He’s having major issues and fears he won’t finish in time. This revelation make Chris very happy because you always feel better when someone else is in trouble don’t you and tv remotes across Australia are flung with force at his head.

Nick has an old picture of Plinth printed on to a singlet with the words ‘In Like Plin’ on the back. Absolutely brilliant. Jane is delighted but Plinth is embarrassed and says it is the worst picture of him ever taken. Really Plinth? You look young, gorgeous and, as Kel pointed out, a bit Axl and it’s obviously taken well before marriage, age and life in general has sucked the very soul from you. Surely any picture taken in the last fifteen years is worse than this one.

Plinth has his moment of popularity cut short as his Big Mistake is discovered. He hasn’t checked the measurements of the down lights when they arrived and they are too small. Everyone goes into down light panic mode and makes simultaneous frantic calls to the same supplier which doesn’t help at all.

Next we get quick shots of people working hard and as much as I don’t want to pick on her* has anyone noticed there never any footage of Jane doing anything resembling hard work?

Kel notes that Seamy have abandoned their hairdryer and hired a blower heater. He orders one as well – it’s about 8 times quicker than using a hairdryer he tells us. And about 16 times quicker than using the diffuser attachment on your hairdryer Kel.

Back to Leighton and Reese who are still in zebra and lumberjack but they don’t add anything of value so moving on. Michelle’s water feature has arrived and oh dear I can’t look. It is…well ok it’s not the Crown Casino Fountain I was expecting but it is still a bit OTT for a little two bedroomed house.

Around the house mistakes are being noticed and rectified. Chris has tiled too far down and the floating floor won’t fit. Fortunately know it all Nick is able to fix it. Then the 90ml lights arrive and Plinth is forgiven. Amy’s sliding mirror feature goes in and let’s hope Reese doesn’t mind cleaning off fingerprints as there don’t appear to be any handles for sliding it open and closed.

Night falls and teams are still working and Jane is painting something so there. Nick coordinates a little Harlem shake with everyone and Amy is standing on her platform and looking way too practised at this. Everyone leaves but Kel who is determined to finish his entry tonight.

A new day and poor Kel is still asleep in the tent. Meanwhile Michelle assess what needs to be done in the guest room, everything, and mood boards aren’t helping now as she bravely unwraps a paint brush and makes a start.

Seamy arrive early to get the tilers before the boys arrive. Guess the roster system is not in play anymore? The brothers get unreasonably annoyed that Sean is doing the same mean trick they usually delight in.

Kel is now up but his eyes are red and he still looks exhausted. He has a coffee and a little think, starts getting upset and his wife comes out to see what is wrong. Just thinking about the kids he tells her. Well don’t, Michelle advises. Think of happier things. Like um your motorbike? We’ve still got five hours he reassures himself. Five hours and we can do it. But probably not if you keep sitting there having breakfast.

And that’s it. Two hours shot past and we’re back down to the last few hours before reveal. The previews show Leighton and Reese walking into the hallway and I’m not liking the expression on Reese’s face as she sees the Splash in the Entrance for the first time.

*Not true, I’m completely falling for the creative editing and I really like picking on Jane.


1 Lisa { 06.07.13 at 2:21 pm }

If Michelle went to design school she’s keeping her knowledge for some other assignment!!
I read read she is a stay at home mum. She should consider going to work as a way today off her mortgage.

Love this show. Hope it’s rating well.
Love the reviews here too.

2 tassielou { 06.07.13 at 2:34 pm }

My partner and I were laughing so hard when Nick was showing a disbelieving Michelle the singlet with Plinth’s phot – “Is not, you’re so full of it” or something to that effect. It was just so Michelle. Almost laughed just as hard when they showed a shot of Jane actually USING a paint brush :)

3 brain dead dave { 06.07.13 at 2:37 pm }

The water feature is to celebrate all the water that’s gone under the bridge in Leighton and Reese’s dysfunctional relationship. Leighton will keep punching holes in the wall long after the renovators and tradies have blown through.

Love to replay the look on Barry’s face when Gemma tells him the budget’s kaput.

4 Veronicali { 06.07.13 at 2:44 pm }

Well done with the marathon annaajjj. Love the Boring Walks on a Beach module. And they’ve renovated 3 houses, or parts thereof, so definitely ready for marriage.

I’m predicting some of these houses will go up for sale soon after the show to cash in on the renos.

I would’ve had the ensuite two-thirds the size and a laundry with external door in the other third. Who needs a double shower and free-standing bath ensuite?

Also predicting the contestants will be brought back to do the front and backyards, and drag the show out until the next season of MKR 😛

Oh and Plinth was hawt!! in his yoof.

5 brain dead dave { 06.07.13 at 2:57 pm }

I first thought that photo of on the T shirt was Jeff Buckley.

Nuh…just poor pussywhipped Plinth.

6 AJ { 06.07.13 at 3:19 pm }

Great recap.

I managed to sit through the marathon, but only thanks to being able to “fast forward” through most of the parts involving Barry, Nick and Jane.

There are definitely some odd things happening in Carly and Leighton’s house. Even though it needs some handles, I did like Sean and Amy’s solution to the placement of the sink under the window. I’ve never understood bathrooms where the sink is placed under the window with a mirror off to the side, but Amy solved that problem!

While the mirror is great, I really dislike the placement of the doors to the WIR and ensuite. Surely it would be better for the “flow” if they were aligned?

Michelle’s water feature looks terrible. It would be far more suitable for a backyard as opposed to an entry. And I’m suprised that making a “mood board”, even if it’s just a compilation of saved images on a computer, isn’t something that everyone does on the very first night of the renovation. Or do the teams only turn to google to decipher bizarre rules like “Danish Art Deco Simplicity”.

7 Veronica { 06.07.13 at 3:31 pm }

I missed the last 30 mins so can anyone tell me if the water feature makes a noise as these things usually do. If it does, won’t it sound like someone going to the toilet all night?

8 Fiona { 06.07.13 at 3:34 pm }

Hey annajjj love the recap!!!
I can’t stand Nick he is so full of himself and he thinks he is all that and a little bit more. You didn’t mention the gourmet sausages Kel was cooking at their BBQ dinner party. Nice job of picking the name Kel for Steve how did you know we would get a sausage reference lol.

9 brain dead dave { 06.07.13 at 3:35 pm }

Visitors that come around and get drunk will probably try to piss in it.

10 annajjj { 06.07.13 at 4:18 pm }

Fiona I totally overlooked the Kel-sausage thing. Wish I could claim credit for foresight but I just thought right at the beginning he was Kel Knight – lovable, slightly misguided and takes himself a bit seriously. He and Michelle have really grown on me – I initally thought they were going to be set up as the villains, Seamy would be the twits, Jane and Plinth the wise ones…how wrong can you get?

11 Fiona { 06.07.13 at 4:31 pm }

@annajjj totally agree at the start i did not like seamy i thought they were way out of their comfort zone and sometimes when people are they either crash and burn or rise to the occasion, i’m happy to see that seamy have developed into some of the nicest reality tv contestants on any reality show I’ve ever seen
Lol at Jane and Plinth the wise ones LMFAO!!

12 AJ { 06.07.13 at 4:40 pm }

@ Veronica

From memory, the water feature hasn’t been turned on yet. But, I don’t see how it could be silent. Not only would it sound like someone going to the toilet all night, but the constant “trickling” sound would probably make Carly and Leighton feel like going to the toilet all night.

13 CAM { 06.07.13 at 4:41 pm }

annajjj these re-caps are absolute freaking GOLD. Kudos to you – thanks for doing them, reading them is increasing my enjoyment of the show (throughout the show I am pretty much laughing my arse off just guessing at what you will pick up on).
I thought the brothers (especially Nick) were being absolute dicks in last night’s ep. They can give it but they can’t take it. Pathetic.

Can’t WAIT to see what Carly and Leighton think, bring on Monday!

14 Gabby { 06.07.13 at 6:46 pm }

Thanks annajjj you are doing a great job. I love this show and I love the teams. Thank goodness Channel Seven chose well and are not overloading us with back stories, what we see is what we get, it’s great. The brothers are getting more obnoxious each show, now they have had their house done they don’t have to be nice to anyone. Seamy are indeed a nice couple. I hope they do well. Poor old Michelle and Kell, she does try hard with her murials and now her water features and Kell just wants to keep his bride happy. I feel as if the other guys, dare I say the word, “bully” Kell a bit. Anyway I think it’s a fast paced show with great characters and I hope they have another season.

15 Andrea { 06.07.13 at 6:57 pm }

Annajjj, yes thanks for all the trouble you have gone too with the recaps, especially with the double episode which I thoroughly enjoyed.
I felt really sorry for Kel with his little meltdown, he looked so tired. It looks like he gets some help on the next show which is good to see.
I can’t wait to see the reveal either, especially Carly and Leighton’s reactions to the water feature, who knows, they may like it .
The ensuite bathroom would have had plenty of room without a bath in there, most ensuite would only have showers , so this would have given them more room for the toilet.
‘The brothers are showing their true colours, me me me! Too bad about the rest of you.
Gabby, great minds think alike at the same time!

16 Veronica { 06.07.13 at 7:39 pm }

Ha ha AJ you’re right about the running water effect.
Poor Michelle, you have to like her but a decorator she ain’t!

17 seepi { 06.07.13 at 8:54 pm }

I also am not a fan of Nick. He is a bit too pushy and a bit too impressed with himself.

I don’t like this modern trend for black and beige bathrooms with a bit of white and silver. I actually loved the old bathroom with the pedestal basin in coloured porcelain. I’d have liked to see that dressed up – maybe with wood and stone somehow to keep Leighton happy.

As for the mega-ensuites with baths etc. i don’t’ see the point of that either. I’d much rather have a decent laundry.

Do you think there are 6 more couples out there to be ‘intruders’ ala MKR??

18 Gabby { 06.07.13 at 9:07 pm }

You are right Andrea it’s a silly idea putting a bath in the ensuite, especially when you don’t have the space, there is no need for it. The last thing I would want in my entrance of my small house would be a water feature, I can’t believe Michelle has taken them literally. Did Michelle really do a design course? Veronica you are right, a decorator she ain’t, but she is likeable and she does try, you gotta give her that.
I am surprised there are not more people watching this show. Could someone please explain to me where they get their budgets from, I have missed out on that somewhere along the way? How come that Jemma and her fella always spend over on theirs, are they allowed? I have all but given up on the block. Didn’t like the way they milked Bec’s mum’s passing. Plus they just drag the whole show on and on.

19 Georgie { 06.07.13 at 9:25 pm }

It was good to see them all having a bit of fun last night – it must be pretty full on and stressful. Jane was really getting into Kel’s music at the party, movin and groovin like a cultie. Maybe her back isn’t the only part of her that’s not working properly?

20 brain dead dave { 06.07.13 at 9:41 pm }

I missed the party because of the Ma$terclass.This show is being encored on 7 at 12 o’ clock tomorrow.

21 Georgie { 06.07.13 at 9:57 pm }

A word of warning bdd – Kel is no Dylan.

22 brain dead dave { 06.07.13 at 10:04 pm }

Reckon it’d take more than a bit of torn wallpaper to make Bob Dylan cry.

23 Georgie { 06.07.13 at 10:11 pm }

Hearing Kel sing would probably make Bob cry though.

24 Veronica { 06.07.13 at 11:07 pm }

Gabby, Michelle did a 6 month course which I think she said was at tafe.

25 Gabby { 06.08.13 at 1:35 pm }

Veronica, I have heard it said before that some of these Tafe courses aren’t worth the paper they are written on, maybe poor old Michelle’s is one of those..

26 Veronica { 06.08.13 at 1:52 pm }

Gabby, I have been in the decorating industry for more years than I care to admit and yes you’re right about some tafe courses not being worth much. Unfortunately, particularly in Michelle’s case, you can’t learn taste. Mind you, that “design consultant” or whatever she’s supposed to be isn’t doing much of a job and her own house which was featured on BH&G wasn’t much of an advertisement.

27 Rocky { 06.08.13 at 2:33 pm }

Thanks annajjj for the great recap.

It is funny how charming Jane is to everyone but Plinth. She is all smiles and wit, than Plinio gets “quit your whingin, would ya”.

Producers please give Michelle and Kel a decent zone soon. They should have gotten the family room and bath, not the boys who have had large main rooms like this to impress with repeatedly. It is hard to impress with a hall, or squashed in laundry. It may not solve all Michelle’s design shortcoming, but who knows, she may surprise us.

Nick and Chris should pull back on the meanness, the viewers are still trying to get over their low-scoring debacle. (Giving 6 to a room that got a 10? Really?)

Please keep up these great recaps annajjj.

28 Sen { 06.08.13 at 6:08 pm }

Not bad but could we get Golo to do a recap next time?? His would be hilarious to read.

29 Techhater { 06.08.13 at 8:35 pm }

Sen REALLY????

30 Gabby { 06.08.13 at 9:20 pm }

Rocky you’re right, how come the boys keep getting the big reno’s to do and the likes of Michelle and Kell get the pokey ones? It’s about time the boys were given the laundry and a back room or whatever. I would love to see Michelle have a go at the kitchen and family area, then she could really show us what she is made of once and for all! Should I say God help who ever owns the house? (Excuse me if I should have said ‘whom’ there, you are welcome to correct me. I always get that one wrong :( )
Why would anyone want to mention Golo, I had almost forgotten he existed. I wonder if he is keeping his eye on us? He must think we are behaving!

31 Techhater { 06.08.13 at 9:43 pm }

Gabby I so agree. Both about Michelle and Steve I would love to see them do a major area and i’m really surprised dear Mr Golo has not surfaced because there are no different ethnic groups being represented. That should bring him out of the woodwork.

32 Techhater { 06.08.13 at 9:48 pm }

Actually I should have said “diverse” ethnic groups rather than “different”.

33 Gabby { 06.09.13 at 10:34 am }

TH! Give Golo time with Masterchef. What do you reckon? Or maybe he has vanished from our lives forever, dare we live in hope! Must say The Block and House Rules have no ‘diverse’ ethnic groups aboard, wonder if that was done on purpose or maybe none applied. They are all a fairly bland lot. I wonder if Nick will see the error of his ways this week and pull his ugly, obnoxious head in. Looking forward to never smile Leighton’s take on his new house.

34 Techhater { 06.09.13 at 3:10 pm }

Gabby I have to be careful what I say about the likes of Golo and others like him. Or else i’ll be called a “b*tchy old hag” who bullies people again. And personally I don’t need that.

Has anyone else noticed that Nick and Chris and Jane and Plinth have certainly had an attitude change since their houses were completed.

35 Daisy { 06.09.13 at 3:14 pm }

TH do you mean botchy?

36 Gabby { 06.09.13 at 5:35 pm }

Spot on, those two couples have definitely had an attitude change since their houses were completed. Not fair at all. I must say Barry and Gemma are still putting their all in to it.
TH, no more mention of the “G” man and his likes. We can do without those sorts.

37 Rocky { 06.10.13 at 12:11 pm }

Don’t know how a bad attitude will help you get 10’s and win with having their mortgages paid off, which is their main goals.

I thought Jane and Plinio did an excellent job on the boys house. Jane almost killed Plinio trying to get it done alone.

The boys are going to be ruthless trying to win so If you see bad attitude it is probably just more selfish disposition and trying to intimidate others than laxity towards their reno.

38 Jess { 06.10.13 at 2:45 pm }

My favourite moment of this ep was when Seamy rocked up early to get the tilers into their bathroom, and then Nick and Chris were well snotty and sulking about it. As if they weren’t going to do exactly the same thing if they had beaten Seamy there. As if they had not (gleefully) been doing the same thing to them all week. Snot nosed boys. Loving Seamy more and more! So refreshing on reality tv.

39 Andrea { 06.10.13 at 9:06 pm }

Pity that the promo tonight just before HR ended showed that the next house to be renovated was the Qld one.
It would have been nice to let us have the suspense of not knowing which house was next until the end.
Later the promo showed us that the Qld couple seemed to be over the moon with everything that had been done to their place.

40 annajjj { 06.10.13 at 9:44 pm }

Agree Andrea – they do this every time! Just leave it until the end. I wish it had been Kel and Michelle- those guys need a break.

41 Andrea { 06.10.13 at 9:51 pm }

I thought the same thing, Kel and Michelle needed the rest for sure.
Wish the boys were in the tent!

42 Tuppence { 06.10.13 at 10:08 pm }

Yeah, that Nick is a cocky little so and so…. thinks he will win every week, and fortunately he is shot down in flames every week..hahaha

43 Gabby { 06.10.13 at 10:19 pm }

I was hoping TH boys would end up in the tent, but no such luck.
I thought Leighton was really gracious tonight when he was going through his house. It was Carly that was turning her nose up at everything, I nearly thought she was going to turn her nose up at the kitchen, I don’t think she dared. Thumbs up to Leighton tonight.
Michelle had another flop in the bedroom but a win with the water feature, she’d have to be happy with that, do you think?