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Guest Post: House Rules And The QLD House Begins

And it is Queensland turn to have their house renovated. Lucky for us Annajjj has it covered. Here is her recap:

In the suburb of Nundah, Brisbane tonight and we’re at Seamy’s house which is apparently built in a flood zone. They have a mortgage of $300K, are newly engaged and Amy is a personal trainer. Sean is a professional smiler.

The other teams arrive in tropical QLD, home of insects, cane toads and if the promos are to be believed, vicious possums. Jo keeps the wildlife theme going with panda eyeliner and Seamy hand over their keys and big white grins try unsuccessfully to hide their nervousness. Parting words: Understated rather than overstated but don’t play safe. In a world where everything is taken literally, this conflicting statement baffles the other contestants.

Have fun they call out as they leave. They don’t want bling or multiple feature walls Seamy told the car cam. The actual contestants should be told this stuff.

Jane has made a big decision not to go arty farty this time which begs the question; does anyone ever deliberately go arty farty? We haven’t seen the House Rules yet but if Go Arty Farty is listed I’ll be surprised.

Entering the house and it seems Seamy are big on those cheesy motivational cut outs. So a bit arty farty then. Jemma gets in a dig about Barry’s mother on national TV which means the next family BBQ is going to be awkward.  Chris promises to bring the aggro to this reno. You’re not convincing anyone Chrissy.

The house is pretty run down and has an underneath laundry which scares even Michelle. Upstairs the boys discover motivational scribbles on the walls (and there is a scribbled Positive Positive Positive Team Shammy but they’ve spelt it wrong).  I’d need more than motivational quotes to be Seamy-cheerful in this place. Chemical assistance maybe?

Zone allocation and Jemma and Barry Jnr choose the master bedroom and ensuite. Study, bathroom, hallway for Leighton and Reese and lounge, laundry and exercise area for Team Plinth and is that like their fourth laundry now?  Who decides these zone allocations? Michelle and Kel get the kitchen, meals and back deck so finally a decent sized zone where they may be able to make an impact. Lastly the boys get the entry, spare bedroom and front porch area.

House Rules are revealed and everyone groans. Cheese arrives and confusion abounds. We want heritage charm, modern country, clean lines, industrial kitchen, rustic warmth, including wall panelling and fretwork arches, all crammed into one small weatherboard home. Finally make it warm, welcoming and above all, positive. Remove all the negatives from the walls please.

Time to pick through Seamy’s stuff and decide what to keep. Barry is distracted by a fitness magazine and I’m distracted by the giant pimple on the end of Barry’s nose. Fifty Shades of Grey in the bookcase, turf that and Barry saves or possibly steals the Kama Sutra book. Grace Removals® arrive.

Before anyone can start a guy called Chester turns up and he looks vaguely familiar. He tells contestants they have to stand around and wait while the house is raised by professionals. This part looked more dramatic in the previews and why did they have to wait until the clock started to do this bit? Good to see Jane hasn’t let popular opinion stop her from channelling Heidi.

Team Plinth move into the tent. Jane does that disturbing little banjo duel from Deliverance and threatens to throw griddles on the fire. Is Tassie suggesting QLD is full of inbreds?

Next morning and Team Plinth are looking rough. Other teams arrive and access to the house is via something called a scissor lift. You learn something every week. Reese is planning their design and she’s found a Homeart® catalogue so their area is pretty much sorted. The boys are scouting the neighbourhood taking photos of the houses and for some reason they both take a picture of the same house.

The first zone wars erupt as Michelle and Kel go head to head with Barry and Jemma on the size of their respective rooms. The Barry/Kel bromance forged last episode is still going strong but Jemma is not impressed with the final decision. Barry gets a bit heated and swears at Jemma and is he joking or not? Kel looks shocked.

Back from the Panadol® break and Barry and Jemma have a fight while Kel and Michelle watch on in delight. They’ve just realised Barry and Jemma are mini-mes.

Demolition starts and the younger guys are in their element. Hammers are swung around and muscles flex and ripple as the walls are brought down. Meanwhile all the females apart from Chris set off to the shops. Michelle arrives at a shop and what no mood board? We only got one then it was abandoned just when I was hoping to get more mileage. Reese has a mud map which is not as effective as a mood board. Wall Tile shop and Reese is going country antique and Jemma goes modern with a country twist and not since Tassie have we had such a broad and conflicting set of rules.

Kel establishes a drop zone and the idea is that no one walks into the drop zone while he is shoving furniture out of the window. Oh Plinth sorry did we forget to tell you about the drop zone? In the wall cavity Barry finds an old negative. Cue positive jokes. Elsewhere in the wall cavity they discover a possum and Barry goes into meltdown. Possums are his Kryptonite. The possum runs through the house and Superbarry shrieks in fright and climbs on a tool box for safety. Kel tells Chris that possums are actually drop bears and they’ll rip your eyes out and feast on your entrails. Chris readjusts his safety glasses more firmly and Superbaz faints.

Back from the break and we find out Plinth is a possum whisperer. We have a scene of Plinth, hand on hip, entering the house with his possum catching kit and it’s hardly contrived at all. Jane gets all hot and bothered by this unexpected manly side to her husband and someone’s air mattress is getting a work out tonight.

Work continues. Leighton is throwing everything into this reno but he’s as rough as guts and has wrecked some of the weatherboard. Jane goes shopping for exercise equipment at Elite® and we’re starting to see why she was allocated this area. She chooses stuff based on purely on pretty colours and hey Jane I’ve got a cute sparkly bridge you’re gonna love. Reese brings her tiles back for Leighton’s approval and Leighton pauses, frowns, then remembers Couples Camp and yes. He supportingly loves her choice. Kiss.

Jane and Plinth haven’t made inroads into their underneath area or their living room. They have measured a few times, chosen colourful kettlebells and relocated wildlife though so the day wasn’t a total waste. Next the boys go shopping and it is clear even at this stage that the boys are planning to cram every bit of fretwork, arch features and panelling into this place that they possibly can.

At Masters® with Kel and Michelle and still no mood board. We revisit Rule 3 and Seamy think they want a stainless steel kitchen with maybe a bit of timber to create a rustic touch and Michelle and Kel think they have nailed the brief. Viewers aren’t reassured.

Back at the house we get a few shots of people wandering around in the rafters without any sort of harness or safety gear so Kel must still be offsite. Nick is getting annoyed with everyone leaving rubbish in his zone so Jemma and her tiny green shorts are sent in to distract him. Meanwhile Leighton releases some pent up fury on the bathroom floor. Outside to Jane and Plinth and they tell us their motto is “You’re never in front, it’s just a matter of how far behind you are” which isn’t as catchy as Positive Positive Positive! but probably more appropriate and quite a lot less annoying.

Tonight the show was crammed full of product placement and advertising or possibly I’m just noticing it more. Tomorrow the boys play possum with Barry and it’s not all fun and games as Leighton and Plinth go head to head over room size.

18 comments

1 AJ { 06.12.13 at 11:53 am }

Thanks for the recap!

I’m pleasantly surprised that someone on this show has a somewhat reasonably sized mortgage. Sure, it’s because Sean and Amy have a house with a bathroom sink which is held in place by a couple of sticks, but at least it’s less scary than the mega mortgages that the other teams seem to have.

I don’t understand what Jane and Plinio were doing for the entire day. There was a throw-away mention of measuring or ordering timber, but surely they would just ask a builder what they need to build the training room according to the plans which they are given? I don’t recall any other team ever having to measure or order the timber supports for their rooms. It’s seems out of place when the teams have previously only been responsible for demolition, painting and styling, with the exception of the qualified trades people amongst the participants who do a bit more.

I look forward to seeing everyone’s interpretation of the bizarre rules. Country, heritage, modern, industrial, rustic and “positive” are all a bit contradictory and confusing. It’s a shame that some teams openly ignore the rules, like Nick and Chris who chose a front door based solely on their personal taste.

2 Picnic { 06.12.13 at 12:04 pm }

“Chris readjusts his safety glasses more firmly and Superbaz faints” made me cry with laughter – great recap. Love this show! So glad they are going to do the gardens. I love Michelle and Kel and Seamy

3 Veronicali { 06.12.13 at 12:50 pm }

Poor sleepy possum. Poor shrieky superbaz!

4 Suziekue { 06.12.13 at 2:01 pm }

I’m actually enjoying this show – at least each week the narrative has a conclusion in the house reveal which I love. Thanks Channel 7.

Now as a born and bred Queenslander, I know the difference between a ridgy didge Queenslander home complete with wrap around verandas and fretwork, and a 1960’s shitbox with aluminium cladding hiding the original weatherboards. So lotsa luck there people in making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. If they were fair dinkum, they would have started by ripping off the aliminium cladding. But why bother stopping there. IMHO it would have been kinder to bring in the Dean Brothers, level the whole sorry lot and start building anew from the ground up. Some makeovers are just not worth it. Once a 1960s shitbox, always a 1960s shitbox.

5 JK { 06.13.13 at 8:52 am }

Lol how funny was the possum!

6 Elle { 06.13.13 at 9:59 am }

Actually Suziekue there are loads of fabulously renovated post war homes that beat the pants off over rated drafty dusty ridgy didge Queenslanders. And they are renovating internally so ripping off the aluminum cladding wasn’t an option

7 Carol { 06.13.13 at 1:45 pm }

I too am enjoying this show. I missed the first week because I thought it was going to be like My Kitchen Rules (which I only heard about) but it must be a completely different producer because it’s quick, entertaining and a good watch. Now I can’t stand Chris and would love to see the smirk whacked off his face sometime in the next few weeks. I loved that they scored so low from the judges last week. Jane & Plinio are sooooo frustrating to watch it’s driving me insane. They pottered around doing squat last night and could not have looked more “out of their depth” if they tried. I really don’t know which of them annoys me more!!!!! Loving the show though! Nearly as much as these recaps!

8 Suziekue { 06.13.13 at 2:11 pm }

Actually Elle, my point was that trying to trick up a 1960’s house with resonances of old Queenslanders such as fretwork would make it look just that, faux old Queenslander. IMHO they would be better modernising the house with resonances of the 1960s or post war. Now that would be true to its roots. And I’m with you Elle – the old Queenslanders were/are not so comfortable to live in.

9 LB { 06.13.13 at 2:37 pm }

Agree with you 100% on how hideous it is when people try to trick a post war up as a Qlder, Suziekue. It’s totally mutton dressed up as lamb. They should just go with a modern reno – those houses come up brilliantly when well renovated.

I hope that they do a good job as Sean & Amy seem to be genuinely lovely people.

Unlike the contestants on The Block. Those twins are coming across as thoroughly nasty people. They seem to be the darling of the producers for some reason which completely escapes me.

The comment from Elle above was me. Good old iPad autocorrect

10 Techhater { 06.13.13 at 3:04 pm }

LB I agree 100% about the twins. They actually are perpetuating the stereo- type appearance of police officers as being total a*se holes. Where in my opinion the majority of police are genuine and helpful people. The producers and Scotty’s constant reminding us of their job is doing nothing to rid the general public of this bad perception of those in the force.

11 brain dead dave { 06.13.13 at 4:04 pm }

Rated 745 , 000 last night. 730,000 the night before.- “World’s Best Loved Cooking Show”. When does the cooking start,then?

I’m not excited by Maggie’s mashed potato Ma$terclass tonight or Kid’s Week . Jam it where the Sun doesn’t $hine,producers. Fail.

House Rules is deservedly smashing this culinary garbage out of the ball park. Average people doing a reno being reasonably civilized to each other on a show that isn’t being choked to death by celebrity hosts.

Yes, Techhater, I’ve no axe to grind with police but those twins on The Block are horrible people and bad PR for any Police force.

12 brain dead dave { 06.13.13 at 4:08 pm }

Sorry gice , I meant to post #11 on the Ma$terchef thread. Those pathetic ratings numbers are for Ma$terchef ,btw.

13 LB { 06.14.13 at 12:54 am }

Agree with you TH & BDD, the twins are doing themselves no favours and certainly aren’t doing any favours to the SA Police Dept. The way they bitched about Bec’s dads purchases and then blatantly schemed was just nasty. And they seem quite pleased with being nasty. I don’t get it.

On the other hand, I’m really looking forward to Mondays reveal on House Rules – from the promos, the absolute joy from Sean & Amy is just lovely & infectious. It makes me smile every time I see that promo.

14 Andrea { 06.14.13 at 7:37 am }

LB, I agree with you. I love that promo with Amy and Sean too, they seem so excited and grateful for whatever they get.
Her reaction at having a proper laundry was lovely to see, can’t wait to see the whole reveal on Monday.
I didn’t know that all the landscaping will be done too, that will just finish the homes off perfectly, what a great show to go on, everyone wins!

15 Littlepetal { 06.14.13 at 8:38 am }

House Rules will be having a second season. I think they will do even better next season.

16 Veronicali { 06.14.13 at 9:30 am }

Yes, I’ve had it with The Block, a shell of its former self. House Rules is my new fave, actual renovating! And decent people, well except for the younger brother 😛

House Rules will be getting heaps of applications for next season, watch for a a mini housing boom, as it seems some of this year’s lot might’ve bought their houses to get on the show (2012 purchases).

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18 LB { 06.16.13 at 11:06 am }

Andrea, I’m really pleased that they will be doing the exteriors, as I thought it a shame that the homes look (generally) great inside but still a bit sad on the exterior 