Guest Post: House Rules – And Now It Is NSW’s Team Turn
Michelle and Steve’s house in NSW shows just how crazy house prices are in Sydney with a $629,000 mortgage, I am sure Channel SEVEN won’t be wanting them to win.
To hear more about the NSW reno here is another fab recap from Annajjj:
Day 1 in NSW and finally it is Michelle and Kel’s turn. They are off for a well-deserved break as the remaining teams tackle their home. We’ve been warned the house contains termites, rats, possums and asbestos and if their mortgage is in double digits someone in Sydney deserves Realtor of the Year.
Kel appears on his balcony and tells us he loves his view. Ah the serenity. He and Michelle have a 1960s suburban shack in Northern beaches of Sydney, and although it is a dump it was all they could afford*. Their mortgage is a staggering $629K. I’m in shock but then we are in Sydney and it looks like a big block.
They have two grown up kids and tell us they lost everything a few years ago and need to win. Well the value of their house should go up after this reno so even if they don’t win (!) they have probably just made a fair profit.
Teams arrive and have a grizzle about the steep goat track of a driveway and at the end there is a love shack waiting. Jo is there to greet them and I have to take a moment out to agree with RR about Jo’s style designer. It’s a hot pink shirt this time, exactly the same as every other shirt she has worn this season and obviously bought in bulk, one in every colour. Jo shouldn’t be made to look this dowdy. She reminds us that the winners get their entire mortgage paid off just in case any of the teams have failed to remember what the prize in this game is.
Any final words? Daughter Alex likes romantic and 17 year old Jesse is a muso so keep that in mind. Kel and Michelle leave.
Boys have been assigned to the tent for the week and Jo hopes they like to snuggle which they probably do but not with each other.
Teams now wander through the house and Amy says what we are all thinking – knock it down and let’s start again. Jane is shocked that they have had to live like this for the past couple of years but* so don’t feel bad Jane, you were living worse for longer.
Teams assemble back in the lounge for the allocation of zones:
Leighton and Reece get lounge and back deck. Seamy get Jesse’s bedroom, toilet and porch, the boys get Alex’s shoebox for the comedy value and the bathroom. Jemma and Barry, or as Daze calls him, Possum, get the master bedroom, hallway, entry and stairs and Team Plinth get the kitchen and dining room. Jo leaves.
House Rules are revealed and, somewhat surprisingly, they haven’t included Give us Ceiling Mirrors, Wall Muriels and Bring the Bling. Guess they thought that went without saying.
Relaxed beach house, Lime washed floors (oh lovely says Jane but that’s lime washed Jane not lime green), Touch of Morocco in artwork and tiles, bring Waikiki into the kitchen and we want a deep spa bath. They are pretty specific house rules, notes Jane, but really after five weeks of getting to know these contestants none of us are surprised Michelle and Kel aren’t willing to be a bit ambiguous in this area.
Teams go through the rooms to decide what to keep and hopefully Jesse and Alex were allowed to collect their personal stuff first. Jane finds a bag of shells and can’t decide which ones she likes best. Cut across to Michelle and Kel who are staying at a relaxed beach house and Michelle tells Kel she hates the beachy feel of it and doesn’t like shells or fish or anything so immediately reveal day just got interesting.
Boys settle into the tent and there are worse places to camp than here. Quick shots of the others settling in for the night at the motel and Jemma and Possum Barry do a quick Google search on Morocco.
Next morning and the teams arrive back on site. The boys are concerned about having to do Alex’s room and Plinth points out Nick would have been in a few 20 years old girl’s bedrooms but probably wasn’t looking at the décor. Jemma and Barry and I crack up.
Michelle doesn’t want anyone touching her walk in wardrobe but maybe she should have specified that. Jemma and Possum Barry have just given a third of it to the boys for Alex’s room. Why is it walk in? In such a small house they could use that extra 30cm of space and just make it a built in.
A stupid Dove ad tells us to imagine our skin is paper and if it really was paper then soap would dissolve it. Like the Mrs Marsh ad that told us our teeth were like chalk. Fortunately no one has paper skin or chalk teeth so we are probably all safe and can go back to the reno.
Seamy have come up with a Cunning Plan to set teenage son Jesse’s bed in the cupboard so all he has to do each night is pull it out and all he has to do each morning is make it and then put it away. Which will happen approximately once.
Demolition starts and teams are warned about Sydney’s noise restrictions. Thanks Clover.
Voice Over now sets up the drama by advising that teams can’t possibly afford a single seconds delay and then we see termite damage and a big nest and rotted wood. The supporting beams are paper thin says Jane so she’d better keep the soap away from them.
Chris puts in his 2 cents worth of clichés, Hit and Miss, can of worms, win some lose some then the camera finds Plinth in the kitchen and he has discovered a dried rat in the wall. He decides to frame it for the owners. That dry understated humour has me liking Team Plinth more each week. Please don’t let them be the ones to go home.
Seamy have discovered ants in their wall and Nick declares that he is disgusted by the smell in the bathroom. We cross to Michelle who defends her house. It’s still our home* she tells us.
Now we discover a possum in the wall and just think of the great muriel collage we could make with all these wall treasures. Barry goes berserk. The Possum Whisperer comes in again and Born Free soars in the background as he gently releases it into the garden.
We revisit Reece and Leighton pre Couples Counselling with that awful wall lights scene and then they tell us how much happier they are now. She is tugging on the window frame while he bends over underneath it and if it comes free it will land on his head. Then he goes outside and tries to kick it in while she supports it from the inside and either this is a subtle way of trying to murder each other or they really weren’t paying attention in safety training.
Another wall discovery that isn’t rats, ants or possums. Asbestos! So Chester comes running to tell everyone they need to leave the house again and the site is going to be shut down for a whole day. This is so stupid, why can’t they either sort out this crap beforehand or tack an extra day on the end. 7 days reno turnover is tight enough without these ridiculous stop work parts.
Teams decide to make the most of their day off to go shopping. Reece and Leighton are in the car and suddenly we are starting to see why Leighton was always getting arky earlier in the series. Reese reckons she is always doing her best but truthfully she is pretty annoying. Jemma takes her possum shopping but manages to lose him in the paint section.
Seamy have a little chuckle about Michelle and Kel’s ridiculous Moroccan/Waikiki design rules but *cough*modern/country/industrial*cough* Seamy. I’m starting to lose the Seamy love.
Boys go shopping for a big bath and this bit is pretty funny. They try out a number of baths and even hop in one together to check the space. Kel would love it. Elsewhere Seamy find out their stupid cupboard bed will cost $2500.
Teams arrive back on site with less than 4 days to go and the walls are gone including some exterior walls. Both Jane and Chris are looking pretty tired and it must be hard on them having to supervise their workers all the time. Chris has mapped out where all the plumbing is going in his bathroom. The concrete has to be cut and the plugs drilled he says, trying to sound like he knows what he is talking about, and the layout can’t possibly be changed. Bet McCrave will have some different ideas about that when she gets here.
It is Teams vs Termites and we keep seeing that footage of live termites which is clearly Channel 7 file footage and nothing to do with this house. Is anyone going to be able to complete their zones this week?
*It was bought last year for the sole purpose of going on this show.
House Rules on SEVEN Monday to Thursday nights at 7.30pm.