Guest Post: House Rules – The NSW Reno Continues
Another great recap from Annajjj. Thanks:
Still in Sydney and it’s all about girl power as Jane is the star of our show ta-night. We get Jane’s progress report to camera, Jane’s thoughts on global warming and lots of footage of Jane doing…. stuff.
Michelle and Kel’s house is still a shell and there aren’t even any external walls and straight off we are told the Greek boys have an impossible task. Everyone has an impossible task this week, why single out them?
Leighton and Reese are constructing the new deck at the same time as the old one comes off so they have a platform to work on. Safety is number one, says Leighton and someone’s obviously had a word in his ear since yesterday’s window incident.
Team Plinth inform us they have swapped roles – Plinth is going shopping and Jane is… ah… what is Jane doing? Well she has to frame up the windows and do the beam and really? This will be interesting. Plinth says that man or woman, he and Jane like to mix it up a bit and once again TMI mate. Aretha starts singing about Respect as Jane tries to carry wood and fails. She smacks herself in the face a few times with the planks then decides her time would be better spent helping out by sweeping. Oh please get the vacuum out Jane.
Over to Michelle and Kel who are feeding the birds and stressing about their kitchen. Hope they do a good job says Michelle, cos I did a good job in their houses. It’s sweet that you *cough* mood board *cough* think that.
Back to Jane who is busy directing her builder and how do we think that is panning out?
Reese is out shopping again and she finds a great table and some very cool wicker outdoor chairs. She admits that she sometimes doubts herself but not today! Birds nest hanging lights are in her sight and she’s going for it.
Plinth is also out shopping and, because he is Plinth, he is at the complete mercy of salespeople. This particular fridge model has wifi and it also has the entire Internet built into the freezer. Plinth doesn’t want to look stupid so he buys it.
Back at the house the kitchen tradie talks maths with Jane and she looks lost at first but then she realises the window is out by 10cm. They have written down the wrong measurements. Hmmmm Jane tells camera and then waits for someone else to sort out the issue.
Back from ad break and we are reminded that teams only have 3 days to go but it is television world and as Veronicali pointed out, 3 days is the TV equivalent of several weeks.
Sean tries to do a nice guy request and sorry we’re not buying it anymore Sean. Barry tells him he will have to pull down the wall for access himself and for once I’m on Barry’s side. Everyone is strapped for time and if you need something done you have to get active.
Jane hears Plinth’s name being mentioned and runs over because she really doesn’t have anything else to do. She cheerfully joins Barry in demolishing a wall which involves her swiping at a joist with her hammer then flinching a bit and this must be the most activity she’s done all year. Best go and have lie down now sweetie.
Baz has to build a staircase from scratch and he gets stuck in while Jemma has gone shopping and she picks out a lot of beachy Moroccan stuff. She’s the type of girl who loves spending but surprisingly is not that good at budgeting. She calls Barry who advises her to stick to the budget but she then proceeds to ignore his advice.
Seamy are building a 4 by 2 metre porch and Amy is still bouncing around being PPP but Sean seems a bit cranky. Has he worked out that his crown is slipping?
Chris(tine) is off shopping and again he is confirmed as the feminine side of the team. This manufactured comedy is a bit lame. He is looking at chandeliers and I have to agree with Meriden from last week – My ‘love’ ‘hate’ and ‘aggravation’ with the teams are in also perfect balance and tonight, for me, Chris is bringing sexy back.
On site there are still enormous piles of rubbish lying about outside so we are left in no doubt that this reno is still out of control.
Someone called Max makes a start on the boy’s bathroom and outside Jemma and Reece set up painting zones and get stuck in. Jane is still wandering around doing Sweet F.A. but thrilled with herself for working with the real workers. She seems to have slightly missed the point.
Everyone leaves for the night but the boys are busy (re)designing Morocco and it probably doesn’t look anything like that Chris. Even he admits it looks bad.
Next morning and everyone arrives on site and back across to the boys; they’ve worked out their design and you don’t get much more Moroccan than this, Nick tells us. Jemma has a quick look and tells camera it makes her happy because it is totally ugly.
R&L have to rebuild the deck from scratch and is that a pimple, nose stud or plaster on Reece’s nose?
Jemma is still painting and Barry is building the staircase. Jemma gets fed up with her painting work but Barry wants her to keep going. Jemma suggest they swap places. Barry looks horrified. They don’t have the same man, woman, anyone-will-do attitude of Jane and Plinth.
Chris and Nick’s tiles are going up in the bathroom and oh dear. That’s pretty awful; less Moroccan and more Playschool. They’ve run of blue tiles with the top left corner still to go but frankly that could be the least of their problems in this space. Where is McCrave? I really want her to see this.
Off to an ad break which includes Leighton and Reese peddling krill oil.
Back in the bathroom Nick tells us he was on the urge of saying he would give up but then had a brainwave to peel off the blue tiles behind the bath area. I’m liking Nick tonight too. Barry looks at the finished wall and says he likes the Mexican theme. Morroco/Mexico they are all interchangeable really.
Seamy have spent all their money on a useless cupboard bed and now they are short on funds for the design stuff. Amy goes to buy records from Renarto in Bondi. He thinks she is a music connoisseur rifling through his collection but it’s just the colour she is after. Black would be good. Do you have Spinal Tap’s Black album cos that would be perfect. Amy has the chance to buy an Olsen guitar for $50 but she checks with Finances and is told no. Real musos don’t appreciate being given second hand guitars.
Back to Team Plinth and measuring is not their strong point. Kitchens have to be accurate, Jane remarks, but we don’t do accurate. We do arty farty.
Chester is still on site and refusing to tag team with McCrave. This is his time to shine dammit. He comes to visit Plinth and Jane and tells them they are in trouble. So channelling McCrave then. Jane takes the appropriate course of action by stomping off and bursting into tears.
The Reese nose mystery is solved, it’s plaster, but I wish she would wipe it off, it’s making my nose itchy. Reese gets an honorary induction into Blokes World and is presented with her very own tool belt. She bleats and babbles and gabbles to camera and has anyone noticed Leighton’s pained fed-up look is back.
Chris asks Jemma’s advice for romantic and she helpfully tells him red, white and black because she is playing the game. Include some death metal posters if you can. The other women try to give him some real advice much to Jemma’s disgust. She tries one last time by telling him to include a splash of purple but then Nick comes out and tells Chris not to trust her. Chris heads off and thankfully the shop assistant is more helpful.
Back to Reese babble and Leighton has that look happening again. The patience is wearing thin.
Countdown to elimination and Voice Over asks who will be in danger. The accidental Mexican or Hawaiian theme teams or the team who leave their oversized fridge on the porch?
I’m off to see Bill Oddie tomorrow night so no recap (unless someone else wants to?). See you all on Tuesday for Reveal Recap.