Guest Post: House Rules – Another Team Gone
Another great recap from Annajjj in an episode which must beat The Block in ratings as on that other reno show the teams had to build and race billy karts:
It’s Finals week and tonight we lose another team in a sudden death reno as this show continues the rapid run to the finale on Monday. We quickly recap the last episode where we farewelled Team Plinth and the teams were told they will return to their own homes to reinvent one zone in 24 hours.
Teams arrive at their own homes and stand in front of their little plastic clock meters. Unsurprisingly it’s raining in Brisbane. On your marks… don’tbotherwithgetset Go!
Teams run into their homes and first up they quickly discover the Producer’s House Rules: They have 24 hours which we already knew. Budget of $5K which is interesting. This is the first time we’ve been told the room budget. They are only to work on one zone which must reflect their style and they have to stay together at all times. How strict is that last rule supposed to be?
Because Michelle is horrified. It will do her head in to have to stay with Kel for any length of time and Nick doesn’t think Reese and Leighton will be able to cope. Everyone now has to decide on which zone to redo and doesn’t this seem like something you would have discussed on the flight home?
Michelle and Kel are going to do the Team Plinth’s kitchen again and good choice although Kel eyes off the wallpaper warily. Baz and Jemma are redoing the Entrance, Hallway and Beauty room which was Teamy Seamy’s first zone back when they were useless reno rookies.
Seamy are redoing the Porch, Entrance and guest room and they want to get rid of the boy’s front door, not because we don’t like it, they hasten to add, but because the judges felt it didn’t fit.
Quick cross back to Michelle bossing Kel around while he wastes time on the phone. Cut to the chase and friggin’ hell says Michelle before snatching the phone off him and Kel is in for a long 24 hours. Then over to the boys and they are redoing Nick’s room, the hallway bar and study den that Reese and Leighton mucked up.
Reese and Leighton are doing the master bedroom and study nook which was also a Plinth special, not because it was the lowest scoring room but because they hated it the most. A new king sized bed will be coming out of that budget. We get a prolonged shot down the front of Reece’s top to keep Australia’s husbands happy then the Salvation Army turn up to remove all that brand new unwanted furnishings. Here’s hoping homeless people will enjoy the oversized alfoil water feature doors and possum muriels.
Michelle and Kel start pulling off the kitchen tiles and a tiler magically appears in the kitchen. Michelle tells him that they want mosaics all the way through but not right now as they have to go and get the tiles first. How much does it cost to have your tiler hang around in your kitchen while you go shopping?
Several teams jump in their utes to go shopping while back in Melbourne the Greek Boys are removing the top of the hall zone to create a linen/bar. They hope the judges will love this idea. Pretty sure they won’t.
Barry and Jemma are shopping for lights and Seamy are trying to get a new door. Kel and Chelle are shopping for tiles that they can install today. For the first time, Michelle tells us, she is dealing with Fear. Fear of Failure. Seriously Michelle? This is the first time this is happening to you?
Before the break we are reminded that one team will be going home. Ad break but Brad Pitt so it’s all worthwhile really.
We come back to the teams still out shopping. In Sydney Kel and Michelle arrive at the tile shop where Eliza has laid out a beautiful montage of tiles for Michelle. IMO they don’t look any better than the Moroccan/Manic bathroom ones the boys created but Michelle disagrees; she is delighted with them. Kel issues a warning that if it goes wrong it could backfire in their faces.
In SA Leighton tells his girlfriend she is a dickhead, which, although being an insult for most people, is actually an endearment in LeightonWorld.
Seamy have managed to find a replacement door! But before they get too excited, McCrave-Burger and Chester team up to remotely and pointlessly hassle them. McCrave advises Seamy that there is no way on God’s Green Earth they will be able to change the door and how about bugger off Craven McSchmaven. Take your negativity and stick it right up your bum. Really, what is the point of having this woman on the show?
Over to Leighton who has built a weird oak feature wall but he and Reese love it so all good. Then back to Brisbane where it is still raining and the front door has arrived.
In Melbourne the boys start painting over the red ceiling in the soulless bedroom and for some reason Reese and Leighton know which zone they boys are doing. Nick say the original painting was the worst he has ever seen but he should take a look at what his brother is doing right now. Cutting in appears to be an abstract concept as Chris starts slapping paint over the cornices and halfway down the walls.
In WA Jemma is busy painting the beauty room black. Does she remember that she originally asked for a beauty room fit for a princess? What crazy-arsed princess demands a black room?
Michelle calls her boy Nick to hassle him and then goes to have a sleep. Reese appears on screen to tell us hard core people like them don’t need sleep. Over in Perth Barry is up all night and as dawn breaks he starts building flat packs.
Ads for The Mole are coming thick and fast tonight.
Six hours to go and Hawaii 5.0 music starts up and is it….Yes! Kel installs a Waikiki Muriel.
Chris isn’t sure about the tiny bottles of alcohol stacked above the linen cupboard. He thinks maybe they don’t go with the whole linen theme. I wouldn’t worry too much Chris, most people consume their evening aperitifs while folding the towels.
Michelle starts getting tearful because her doors have failed to show. Glass for the desk arrives in Adelaide and in Perth the pendant turns up for the hallway. With only two and a half hours to go the pantry door still hasn’t arrived and I wouldn’t want to be that supplier if Michelle gets eliminated over this. Michelle has a little melt down and Kel gives her a quick hug and pep talk. They are not going home he reassures her which probably guarantees they now will.
New door in QLD and suck on that McCrave, it looks 100 times better and they got it in on time. Next Seamy go shopping for palm trees and they can’t find a free car park. Frankly, with less than three hours to go, I’d just stop in the middle of the road and take off from there.
It’s the last hour and the boys belt down to the ATM to get out extra money as one of their suppliers is demanding cash. Kel is out on the shopping trip from hell. I have a manic wife running madly around the store, abusing the life out of me, he says. As usual Team Baz have gone over budget and have to return stuff.
Back at the house Michelle has to style and no time for a mood board. Amy is still painting. Jemma is still returning stuff. And did Michelle just tell Kel to Look at moi?
Teams count themselves down and then time is up. All the teams are very happy with their work. Everyone flies back to home base.
We are told Joe and Wendy have had a busy few days going around the country to cast aspersions on the teams’ work. This is a bit weird – are the judges judging on what they personally like or the original brief of the rooms or the workmanship? It’s not really clear.
They arrive at Barry and Jemma’s house first and initially wow. Linen cupboard is finished and the Princess Beauty Room is painted in soulless black but the judges like it. Where are you supposed to lie down for waxing? Score: 8 and 7
Michelle and Kel’s place is next and Joe just loves those pink pants doesn’t he? The kitchen has a good beachy Moroccan feel says Wendy and they are impressed although the pantry is still the same. Michelle blinks back tears. Check out the wall muriel – totally unpretentious says Joe waving his arms around like a pretentious prat. Scores: 7 and 8
So far we have two teams vying for top or maybe bottom place.
Super long ad break during which I transform a few zones in my own house then we are back and its Leighton and Reese’s turn.
Judges arrive and Joe has his purple pants on and Wendy is now taking her style tips from him and has her red nana pants on. They admire the study nook and Joe gets all effusive over the feature timber wall. Scores: 9 and 9 so they are safe.
Nick and Chris are up now and the judges arrive, and nasty orange pants for Joe, and he can’t even open the linen cupboard but frankly Joe how are your shortcomings our problem? The study underwhelms the judges. Boys think they are going home and they might be right.
Scores: 6 and 6 which puts them at the bottom and makes everyone else safe.
Can I just say I will be SHOCKED if Seamy score lower.
In Brissie and apparently the door looks worse now. Its 70s says Wendy and she thinks they have broken their own rules – was Queenslander style their only rule? What about warm, welcoming and positive. Can’t this door fit one of those briefs? Joe condescendingly says it is sweet. The porch painting is unfinished because of the rain but the spare room is great. Judges are impressed with it.
Scores 6 from Joe aaaaannnnnd ad break. I predict a 7 from Wendy and safe and the boys are going home.
4 hours later we are back from the ad break and a 7 from Wendy and safe and the boys are going home Seamy score a 5 from Wendy and WTF?! Facebook explodes as Australia leaps to their feet and screams Noooooooo! at the television. Shock elimination indeed!
No rest for the distressed as Jo announces that next up is gardens and the Leaderboard has again been wiped clean and two teams are being eliminated next. Does anyone else feel like this show is on fast forward now?
So down to the final four teams and a preview of teams racing around each other’s or maybe their own properties, it’s not clear, and do the landscaping and McCrave will come around and tell everyone they got it completely wrong. Why do we see Michelle and Jemma together in one backyard?
No House Rules for those of us in QLD and presumably NSW due to the footy biffo thingy. Do other states get the semi-final tomorrow? How will they keep the eliminations secret? I may need to hop on a flight tomorrow; bdd do you have a spare room?