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Guest Post: House Rules Recap – The Yards Are Razzled Up

Annajjj has been a machine on writing up these witty recaps – A big thank you and over to Annajjj:

Three episodes to go and tonight the teams start part 1 of the garden challenge. We begin with a quick recap which includes Seamy being evicted and Kev07 being reinstated.

Then it is straight over to MichKel’s house in Sydney and it’s the Blondes and Barry working here. It’s a big property with lots of different levels and first up we get the Yard Rules.

Give us a Resort entrance, build a bbq deck, make a memorial out of dead grandpa’s chair and they want a pyre fire pit. There are two zones front and back and they get to choose. This is done via a coin toss and Leighton and Reese win so they choose the backyard. Reese laughs and says f*** you or possibly thank you, since they didn’t edit it out.

In Adelaide we have Gen wars as X and Y are taking on Reese and Leighton’s front and back zones. Their Rules are Entertainment area, a Secluded Haven, Modernise the living space and Extend the carport and give us an Outdoor cinema.

Nick loses the coin toss but because he wants the front he tells Kel he thinks Kel is too old and frail to do the back. Kel falls for this, puffs up like an angry bantam and decides they will be doing the back thanks very much.

Nick and Chris discuss how their area will look and has Chris has lost the flavour saver? Nope, optical illusion, it is still there. Michelle and Kel survey the backyard and they have a vision (but no mood board again!) of privacy muriels, water features and mirrored garden beds. Lovely.

Over at M&Ks the blonde babes are smashing things down and planning their areas. Reese comes across Grandpa’s chair where Michelle’s dad sat before he passed away. It’s actually an old bench perched precariously on the edge of a cliff and it is falling apart. In the front yard Baz is busy clearing rubbish and they are planning to build a carport and Hawaiian feature garden.

Heavy machinery is at work in SA and Michelle and Kel have gone shopping and they’ve found a privacy screen muriel. They love it, naturally and they think they have the win in the bag. For about the 100th time we hear about how much they want to win.

In Sydney Team Leighton is at Masters® and they are buying a new grandpa’s chair and oh dear. Unless you are planning to excavate grandpa and put him on it I don’t think this is going to persuade Michelle that this is the real deal.

Ad break then we continue to chop quickly back and forth between the houses. For the next season I’m betting this part of the competition will be drawn out over several weeks.

Voice Over steals my line about Gen Y and Chris is ordering stuff online like a true Gen Y’er. Jemma and Ben have removed the carport and they are building their Hawaiian jungle. Nick is laying pavers and Michelle is sniffing lavender and admiring maples.

In Sydney the girls are trying unsuccessfully to get painters. No luck. The only option is to paint ourselves, Jemma decides. That probably won’t be as effective as painting the house. Then over to Nick who tells camera that they obviously have an advantage as M&K don’t bring the muscle that they do and Chris can’t hide his joy at being included in the male stuff this time around.

9 hours to go and the Blondes have managed to hire painters. Meanwhile Kel has a spray gun and he’s going all Steven Seagal on the fence. Jemma has chosen a frangipani for Michelle as she will love that.  Are homeowners scoring as well? How is that going to work? You are my rival so although I love it you get a 2….

Reese puts a sign on the new Not-Grandpa’s-Chair and now it is apparently Real-Grandpa’s-Chair. I’m not sure it works like that Reece.

Things start speeding up now, Nick has 65,000 plants to deal with, Michelle and Kel are putting in maples and rocks, Reese fires her painters for doing a crap job but she then runs out of time to finish the painting.

Suddenly there is only an hour to go. Jo turns up in Sydney then Chester! and the eternally annoying Craven McBurger turn up in Adelaide in their new roles as timekeepers to yell at the contestants. Everyone is running and McCrave says ten minutes and everyone starts running faster. Then times up, tools down, step away from the agapanthus.

Off screen Joe has had a wardrobe crisis. Someone forgot to pack his apricot pants and he can’t possibly go out there. Someone’s dad is quickly called in to replace him.

First up Adelaide. Wendy and new judge Jim don’t like the urn but they like the pavers and the deck. Wendy approves of the colour of the wood and Seamy can tell you how important it is to get wood colour right for Wendy. In the back the judges like the screen and the space. They are not sure about the outdoor cinema but then they remember this is supposed to be a bogan’s paradise not Home Beautiful so it is a good job as far as the owners rules are concerned.

Over to the homeowners and no they don’t get to actually score. Which is a shame as they seem to really like it. Leighton loves the outdoor TV and no surprise there. Again we are reminded of the good bit of this program. Even if you don’t win you still win for your efforts. You get value added to your house, new furniture and furnishings and, if you make it this far, a new landscaped property. I’m predicting a massive influx of applications at Channel 7 for the next series.

Next up Sydney and the judges arrive at Michelle and Kel’s. Wow kudos to Barry and Jemma, it does look good. They have paved the whole area as well as creating a carport. The judges are impressed.

Into the backyard and they have also done a great job. They have created a fire pit and steps and a deck.  Judges get to Grandpa’s chair and they don’t actually know that this isn’t Grandpa’s chair so they are impressed. Wendy points out that having Grandpa’s chair sitting at the bottom of a hill, perched on loose stones on the edge of the cliff might dissuade other elderly relatives from sitting there though.

MichKel arrive home and they are thrilled with the front. And look we’ve got so much room for prospective buyers to park says Michelle.

Out to the back and they love that too. BBQ is great, hammock is a nice touch and there is Grandpa’s chair and there is the actual grandpa’s chair. Michelle loses it. But it is not his chair! He never sat on that one. This doesn’t seem to matter, it’s the sentiment that counts.

Back to home base for the scores:

Jemma and Baz: 7 and 7

Leighton score 7 and 6

MichKel: 7 and 8

Greek Boys: 6 and 5

Jo tells everyone that next up is round two of the gardens challenge and that it doesn’t matter where you are on the leader board as the winner will be decided by coin toss things can always change.

So we get a Sunday night episode before the grand final on Monday but what will the grand final involve now the houses are complete?



1 Daisy { 06.30.13 at 11:00 am }

Georgie, similar from me. Lived at Trigg beach(mostly) and Cottesloe; the only places I would live if in Perth but both very expensive now.
I would also live at Peppermint Grove Perth but that would be in my dreams.
But I love being int the country and wouldn’t move to the city.

2 brain dead dave { 06.30.13 at 12:14 pm }

Ch 7 are encoring this as I type. Just laughing and reliving Carly and Leighton buying Grandpa’s Memorial park bench from some soulless Master’s outlet.

3 brain dead dave { 06.30.13 at 12:22 pm }

I recognize the nursery Kel and Michelle have gone to to get the plants for Carly and Leighton’s yard . Drove further than they needed to and to a relatively expensive nursery but they got good scores and it’s icing on top of the sob story .

4 Gabby { 06.30.13 at 12:29 pm }

BDD can you notice if that decking was already there or did they build it for the challenge? I’m sure they didn’t build it, and if they didn’t, they didn’t do a hell of a lot to warrant the scores they received, in my opinion.

5 brain dead dave { 06.30.13 at 12:39 pm }

Yes Gabby, Kel and Michelle added the decking to Carly and Leighton’s back yard. and the tradies appeared to do most of the work on that.

Kel spent a lot of times washing rocks that the judges didn’t like.

Chris and Nick added decking out the front, too.

6 Gabby { 06.30.13 at 12:50 pm }

Thanks BDD. At least Chris and Nick built their deck as did the other two teams do their own building. This is what I mean, they didn’t do any of the hard yakka and they got the highest scores. The boys even commented Mich and Kell spent most of the day at the shops, then that night she was just casually painting a shed.

7 Veronica { 06.30.13 at 12:51 pm }

I don’t like the sob stories either but the trouble with reality shows is we get a snippet of people’s lives on which we all judge.
I think good luck to all the contestants if they bought their houses to go on the show and end up making a proffit selling afterwards.
Knowing the Sydney market, I’d say M&K bought well as you will always make more money from a house in a good area over one in a less desirable place. And what’s wrong with that?

8 Colleen { 06.30.13 at 4:40 pm }

I have had a theory for a while now that C&L and J&B will be the final two since the others did that little girls room. I was positive they were setting C&L up to win, they have done well, I hope they win. Loved Ben right up until the nasty look episode. I think the producers just didn’t want the nightmare of Seamys swampy backyard.

9 Gabby { 06.30.13 at 4:49 pm }

I hope you are right Colleen about the two grand final teams. May the best team win. Goodness knows what is going to happen before we arrive there.

10 Andrea { 06.30.13 at 5:25 pm }

M&K probably won’t win because their mortgage is the highest and the producers may not want to pay out too much, after all, this is a higher prize to win than MKR was.
Its still a pretty good outcome for all of them though.

11 cuisinaire { 06.30.13 at 7:11 pm }

Colleen (#58), perhaps it will be the other two teams. Something in Jo’s interview suggests that a frontrunner will dip out tonight. Something else I read suggests tension between J&B and M&K.

12 Tuppence { 06.30.13 at 7:21 pm }

SPOILER ALERT – Today Tonight promo for tomorrow night saying can Carly and Leighton go all the way? Sounds like they are not eliminated tonight. Thanks Channel 7 – yet again!

13 seepi { 06.30.13 at 9:40 pm }

I still like Michelle and Steve – looks like I am on my lonesome. At least they are real. I dont’ like Ben much, and Gemma is a bit of a barbie. And Carly and Leighton are a bit odd.

I think Michelle and Kel would have just lived in their place and gradually done it up slowly over time. Nothing wrong with that – I would do that too over living far away from anywhere i had ever lived, just to get a more modern house.

14 Eliza { 06.30.13 at 11:52 pm }

Veronica, I don’t doubt for a second that location trumps house as a house can always be changed, but as Andrea said, the mortgage still has to be paid and I am sure there is a limit to how much financial stress one can be under to live in a certain area.

I was simply raising a question in line with how much M&S have had to play the crying poor game. I am sure that this is something the producers have pushed as well. It would be terrible to lose your house, and I can certainly understand people wanting to live in a nice area and somewhere familiar. I spent the beginning of my childhood in the Eastern Suburbs (Maroubra) but due to family breakdown we moved to ‘the sticks’ as friends used to tease me (even though we’re not that far from the city!). We live in a well respected working middle class area but one that is certainly cheaper than your coastal suburbs. There are times where I definitely miss the convenience of living closer to the city, but am grateful for the other aspects of lifestyle I have had here. It’s all a matter of preference at a specific time and I guess they would also be thinking of their children being older and practicality for them. I guess my point was that it does just come off sounding a bit ‘off’ when they are made to push the poor card but buy in an expensive area. How long could you honestly live in a house that run down without a means to do it up? I don’t mean that sarcastically, I mean it would be extremely hard.

I am a part of the generation they say will be lucky to ever own their own home. So I do agree with you, I was probably offering a slightly hypocritical solution as I do take location highly and dream of moving back to the coast once I can afford it. I hope that day comes.

15 Eliza { 07.01.13 at 12:00 am }

I have been thinking that all along, Andrea – M&K’s mortgage would be a HUGE prize! It will be a surprise if CH7 are willing to pay this? I have warmed more to C&L now for some reason.

How good were the gardens tonight. J&B really hit the jackpot, both front and back were great. The boys did their best work on that outdoor entertaining area. I kind of felt bad for them leaving after doing such a great job but at least they went out with a bang.

16 Gabby { 07.01.13 at 8:25 am }

Once again well written Eliza. I was disappointed last night to see JandB go home, they have worked so hard and come up with some great results throughout the whole series, receiving deserving points. I am not impressed with the fact that none of their before points have counted towards the end of the show. To me that was one of the big let downs of the show. Then again, it’s up to us now, let our fingers do the talking, that would be right, they have to make some money out of us somehow.

17 Andrea { 07.01.13 at 8:41 am }

It was really sad to see J&B go home, I agree. I must admit the boys did a fantastic job on J&B’s home, it was the best.
At least they have all gone home knowing they have beautifully renovated homes which will still give them a great start in life.
Its so different from other shows such as MC, MKR, BL etc where there is only one winner.
Congratulations to channel 7 with coming up with a winning formula that helps all the contestants.
Not sure if I will bother voting after the fiasco of voting madly for our favourite on BB, the producers can fix it the way they want it to go I reckon. The votes should have been tallied all the way through as Gabby has said.

18 Sarah { 07.01.13 at 1:58 pm }

J&B’s house was amazing! Excuse my ignorance, but who is Kell? Michelle and Steve?

19 Gabby { 07.01.13 at 2:19 pm }

Yes Sarah, Kell belongs to Michelle, I am not sure what his real name is. Someone on this site, possibly annajjj who writes the recaps gave him the nickname right from the start and it has stuck. I am not sure what it’s origin is, maybe someone else could tell us?

20 Andrea { 07.01.13 at 2:30 pm }

Its from Kath and Kim of Fountain Lakes. Anajjj thought “Steve” looked like Kath’s husband in the show “Kel”