Guest Post: House Rules Recap – The Yards Are Razzled Up
Annajjj has been a machine on writing up these witty recaps – A big thank you and over to Annajjj:
Three episodes to go and tonight the teams start part 1 of the garden challenge. We begin with a quick recap which includes Seamy being evicted and Kev07 being reinstated.
Then it is straight over to MichKel’s house in Sydney and it’s the Blondes and Barry working here. It’s a big property with lots of different levels and first up we get the Yard Rules.
Give us a Resort entrance, build a bbq deck, make a memorial out of dead grandpa’s chair and they want a pyre fire pit. There are two zones front and back and they get to choose. This is done via a coin toss and Leighton and Reese win so they choose the backyard. Reese laughs and says f*** you or possibly thank you, since they didn’t edit it out.
In Adelaide we have Gen wars as X and Y are taking on Reese and Leighton’s front and back zones. Their Rules are Entertainment area, a Secluded Haven, Modernise the living space and Extend the carport and give us an Outdoor cinema.
Nick loses the coin toss but because he wants the front he tells Kel he thinks Kel is too old and frail to do the back. Kel falls for this, puffs up like an angry bantam and decides they will be doing the back thanks very much.
Nick and Chris discuss how their area will look and has Chris has lost the flavour saver? Nope, optical illusion, it is still there. Michelle and Kel survey the backyard and they have a vision (but no mood board again!) of privacy muriels, water features and mirrored garden beds. Lovely.
Over at M&Ks the blonde babes are smashing things down and planning their areas. Reese comes across Grandpa’s chair where Michelle’s dad sat before he passed away. It’s actually an old bench perched precariously on the edge of a cliff and it is falling apart. In the front yard Baz is busy clearing rubbish and they are planning to build a carport and Hawaiian feature garden.
Heavy machinery is at work in SA and Michelle and Kel have gone shopping and they’ve found a privacy screen muriel. They love it, naturally and they think they have the win in the bag. For about the 100th time we hear about how much they want to win.
In Sydney Team Leighton is at Masters® and they are buying a new grandpa’s chair and oh dear. Unless you are planning to excavate grandpa and put him on it I don’t think this is going to persuade Michelle that this is the real deal.
Ad break then we continue to chop quickly back and forth between the houses. For the next season I’m betting this part of the competition will be drawn out over several weeks.
Voice Over steals my line about Gen Y and Chris is ordering stuff online like a true Gen Y’er. Jemma and Ben have removed the carport and they are building their Hawaiian jungle. Nick is laying pavers and Michelle is sniffing lavender and admiring maples.
In Sydney the girls are trying unsuccessfully to get painters. No luck. The only option is to paint ourselves, Jemma decides. That probably won’t be as effective as painting the house. Then over to Nick who tells camera that they obviously have an advantage as M&K don’t bring the muscle that they do and Chris can’t hide his joy at being included in the male stuff this time around.
9 hours to go and the Blondes have managed to hire painters. Meanwhile Kel has a spray gun and he’s going all Steven Seagal on the fence. Jemma has chosen a frangipani for Michelle as she will love that. Are homeowners scoring as well? How is that going to work? You are my rival so although I love it you get a 2….
Reese puts a sign on the new Not-Grandpa’s-Chair and now it is apparently Real-Grandpa’s-Chair. I’m not sure it works like that Reece.
Things start speeding up now, Nick has 65,000 plants to deal with, Michelle and Kel are putting in maples and rocks, Reese fires her painters for doing a crap job but she then runs out of time to finish the painting.
Suddenly there is only an hour to go. Jo turns up in Sydney then Chester! and the eternally annoying Craven McBurger turn up in Adelaide in their new roles as timekeepers to yell at the contestants. Everyone is running and McCrave says ten minutes and everyone starts running faster. Then times up, tools down, step away from the agapanthus.
Off screen Joe has had a wardrobe crisis. Someone forgot to pack his apricot pants and he can’t possibly go out there. Someone’s dad is quickly called in to replace him.
First up Adelaide. Wendy and new judge Jim don’t like the urn but they like the pavers and the deck. Wendy approves of the colour of the wood and Seamy can tell you how important it is to get wood colour right for Wendy. In the back the judges like the screen and the space. They are not sure about the outdoor cinema but then they remember this is supposed to be a bogan’s paradise not Home Beautiful so it is a good job as far as the owners rules are concerned.
Over to the homeowners and no they don’t get to actually score. Which is a shame as they seem to really like it. Leighton loves the outdoor TV and no surprise there. Again we are reminded of the good bit of this program. Even if you don’t win you still win for your efforts. You get value added to your house, new furniture and furnishings and, if you make it this far, a new landscaped property. I’m predicting a massive influx of applications at Channel 7 for the next series.
Next up Sydney and the judges arrive at Michelle and Kel’s. Wow kudos to Barry and Jemma, it does look good. They have paved the whole area as well as creating a carport. The judges are impressed.
Into the backyard and they have also done a great job. They have created a fire pit and steps and a deck. Judges get to Grandpa’s chair and they don’t actually know that this isn’t Grandpa’s chair so they are impressed. Wendy points out that having Grandpa’s chair sitting at the bottom of a hill, perched on loose stones on the edge of the cliff might dissuade other elderly relatives from sitting there though.
MichKel arrive home and they are thrilled with the front. And look we’ve got so much room for prospective buyers to park says Michelle.
Out to the back and they love that too. BBQ is great, hammock is a nice touch and there is Grandpa’s chair and there is the actual grandpa’s chair. Michelle loses it. But it is not his chair! He never sat on that one. This doesn’t seem to matter, it’s the sentiment that counts.
Back to home base for the scores:
Jemma and Baz: 7 and 7
Leighton score 7 and 6
MichKel: 7 and 8
Greek Boys: 6 and 5
Jo tells everyone that next up is round two of the gardens challenge and that it doesn’t matter where you are on the leader board as the winner will be decided by coin toss things can always change.
So we get a Sunday night episode before the grand final on Monday but what will the grand final involve now the houses are complete?