Guest Post: House Rules – And We Have Our Final Two
It has been rapid fire eliminations all week on House Rules. Annajjj again writes a cracker recap that ends in us with the pair who will duke it out to win:
Part two of the exterior challenge and at the end of the show two teams will be leaving and the remaining two will battle it out doing something(?) to determine the winner. Whatever it is they will have to draw it out over an hour and a half tomorrow night so probably not scissors paper rock unless it is best out of 3,000.
Michelle and Kel and their mini me’s are over at the Greek boy’s Melbourne home while those boys and Leighton and Reese head to Jemma and Baz’s Perth home.
Garden Rules in Melbourne: modernise our Californian bungalow, low maintenance garden, café style courtyard, plant a veggie patch – that’s got to be their mum’s suggestion. Jemma and Ben get the back and Michelle and Kel the front. Michelle and Kel have to do well as they will be devastated if they have to go home. Devastated? To have to go back to your fully-renovated highly-increased-value home in one of Sydney’s most expensive suburbs?
Garden rules at Jemma and Baz’s are private backyard entertainment area, welcoming front, revive the exterior, give our stone lions pride of place. Boys win the coin toss and choose the backyard.
In Perth the side pathway is up for grabs and Michelle & Kel want it and they plan to put a herb garden there. Since it worked so well on him last week, Kel decides to use reverse psychology on the younger couple to get their own way. But Michelle can’t do strategy. She blurts out I want it and then bites off her own tongue in her efforts not to give away their herb garden secret. I’d love to see Michelle on The Mole.
Baz is making a fire pit and he kicks off the concrete grinder. Kel is smashing up concrete and discovers a problem in the driveway. Over at Jemma and Barry’s the fence alignment out and Leighton is unimpressed but thinks he can solve the problem.
Nick and Chris are off to the nursery to pick plants. They enlist some help and are taken down to privacy screen trees. The helpful plant lady starts rattling off plant names and the boys get the giggles. These are harder to pronounce than their surname.
Bad news for Kel and Michelle – the driveway is spongy and there is a cracked stormwater drain. Michelle and Kel put their sad faces back on and we are told again they don’t want to go home. Then the big concrete guy tells them good news, it can be fixed and he gets smothered in kisses from Michelle.
Chris and Nick’s deck is going down and looking good. They want to put a ceiling in but may not have time to paint it. Chris puts his foot down. If we can’t get it painted we can’t do it so scrap it, he commands manfully. Nick says no we are doing it. Chris lifts his foot up.
Reese is busy smashing things down and Leighton is proud of her for being hard core.
Baz and Jemma are at the garden centre buying lettuces and snow peas because Greeks eat a lot of salads and even have one named after them. Meanwhile Michelle and Kel are secret squirrelling their vertical herb garden in the boot of the car. They can’t afford to let Jemma and Baz get a hint of their cunning plan for herb domination.
One day to go and teams are working hard. We get shots of Jemma painting then Michelle painting then oh god Kel crack and then Barry painting. Baz has done a pungent(!) orange feature wall and despite her well-publicized love of orange Michelle hates it. Meanwhile Kel steps back to admire his handiwork but Michelle rushes him away. Admire it tomorrow I need sleep, she snaps.
Final day and the teams turn up on site and get stuck in. Michelle and Kel don’t like the plainness of their driveway and want it stamped but can that be done? Yes it can. Michelle throws herself at the concrete guy and Michelle please stop touching the tradies. Its workplace harassment and it’s creepy.
3 hours to go and Michelle is potting the herb garden in the back of the car and Jemma has realised Michelle is doing herbs. The scandal! Jemma calls her on it and Michelle says she is throwing out the trump card and Jemma is not impressed.
One hour to go and Jo turns up in WA and in Melbourne Chester! and Caroline are here to bark at the contestants.
30 mins to go and Michelle is busy finding her zen. The feature stone lions are carefully tucked out of sight in the garden. The boys collide wheelbarrows. McGravy-Train shouts a bit and Jemma steals Michelle’s pavers.
1 minute and no one can find the hoses because Barry has thrown them over the fence and horns blow – time is up!
Judges turn up in Melbourne and Wendy does her usual breathy Wow as she sees the front yard. It looks a bit plain really but the judges are impressed and they like the Michelle herb garden. Into the back and there is a lot going on out here. There is a fire pit but the space around it is a bit small and the edging and steps are unfinished. Jemma herb garden is a bit sparse.
Boys arrive and they get to see but not score. They are delighted with the front and like the deck. They have an Aussie flag doormat. Nice touch. In the back they love the olive tree and are very happy with the fire pit. It’s the ultimate boy’s pad.
Judges arrive in Perth and the front looks fantastic but can anyone spot the lions? You know, the lions that were supposed to be given pride of place? Knowing Reese’s disregard for sentimentality she’s probably crushed them and used the rocks to decorate the frangipani. Out the back the boys have done a great job. The outdoor area looks very impressive and the furniture looks good too.
Jemma and Baz arrive home and immediately they love the front. Jemma channels Amy and squeaks, squeals and cries a bit. They go into the back and they absolutely love it too.
Back at home base for the judge’s scores.
Kel and Michelle adopt their sad faces and tell us again how much they want to win (as if the other contestants are all a bit meh about it really). But Kel and Michelle pushed their sob/back story a bit too far last week with the whole Grandpa’s memorial seat thing so they’d better hope the winner isn’t decided by audience vote.
L&R: 9 and 9 so probably safe.
Boys: 8 and 7 so could go either way…..
After the break M&K: 8 and 7
J&B: 6 and 5
Jo tries to ramp up the suspense by saying we should take a look at the leader board but any of us with basic math skills have already worked out that Baz and Jemma and the brothers are going home. The boys leave first and then Jemma and her short leather skirt leave and Possum Baz follows.
We are told the remaining teams are going to each other’s homes for the most important bit now. Two secret rooms which look to be the basement and a nasty shed so not really that important and we are told that the winner will be decided by viewer vote and lame lame lame. This is rubbish. Now the whole thing has just become a giant popularity contest. If you wanted audience participation why couldn’t we have voted earlier on the actual zones? Grand final tomorrow.