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Masterchef Australia – No Surprise Who Went

Noelene was always going to be in trouble once they found out the challenge was going to be make a dish with some Heston theatrical flair. She is no alchemist.

She decided that putting fish heads on a plate would be enough theatrics. That was more shock/awe then the wow factor they required. To put a Heston twist to it she made some jellied curry balls to go with it. Also the fish heads were dry.

It was a tough challenge and surprisingly Kelty and Rishi produced some amazing dishes. Rishi made Dumplings with a Salted Caramel Sauce. He also made some green tea aroma.  Matt Preston said  “Really clever and really subtle cooking”. The dish looked savoury but tasted sweet. Kelty made a delicious looking and clever Hot Toddy Tart served with guiness and honey ice cream.

Samira got lucky she made traditional custard lady fingers, something she has made many times before but put her dish on dry ice and poured rose and orange water over and it and voila it was judged to have the Heston factor. At first she was going to make a volcano but stumbled at the chocolate dirt that was going to be ash.

After the judging Noelene was sent packing. There were no tears, and she must have known she was going. Also in a sense it was fair as Noelene did undercook the turkey that put all of them in the elimination challenge.

You have to wonder how much they paid Heston for his week on the show, as tonight he looks like he does the whole masterclass show.

Next week off to Dubai which fits in with the show’s sponosor QANTAS new route to Europe.



1 Phineas J. Whoopee { 08.08.13 at 4:15 pm }

CB- If cameltoe means the same in Oz as it does here, and I think it does, OMG.

2 Phineas J. Whoopee { 08.08.13 at 4:18 pm }

You are on fire!

3 Anna { 08.08.13 at 4:23 pm }

PJW, Dave is always on fire LOL

4 brain dead dave { 08.08.13 at 4:33 pm }

There are those who try to piss on me to put me out.

I pretend that it’s gasoline.

Thank you.

5 Veronica { 08.08.13 at 4:39 pm }

I’m sure Noelene could have done a nice stuffed hump.

6 Littlepetal { 08.08.13 at 4:44 pm }

You need a lot of stuffing for that hump!!

7 T-bird { 08.08.13 at 5:33 pm }

Daniel was surprisingly good this and last week. He may very well become a member of the final 5. The more I see of Lucy the sweeter she seems so she could in mho be staying for a while. Kelty seems to have replaced Jules as the “official” MC5 spokesperson.

A general observation regarding the hygiene of the show – the amount of spit and sweat that must make its way into the food must be astounding. Everyone double dips and reuse their tasting spoons as well as their fingers, which to me just seems so gross. I wouldn’t even do that when cooking for myself.

8 brain dead dave { 08.08.13 at 6:52 pm }

“For tonight’s Ma$terclass, Heston will blow liquid nitrogen up his own ar$e”

9 Anna { 08.08.13 at 7:14 pm }

I’ve never seen any Chef have the WT* expression on his face, until this week

Poor Heston has never eaten crap like he has this week either :-)

10 Georgie { 08.08.13 at 7:15 pm }

Lol bdd, colon ice capades – very theatrical.

11 Eliza { 08.08.13 at 11:37 pm }

I actually LOLed, BBD #58. That’s about the only thing left for him to do with it, surely. Unless he’s tried it already…

Bolders, I won’t assume Daniel is dumb, I just loved the way he asked the question. I’m not great with geography, but I know Dubai is a city within the UAE. Because of the way people talk about it, it us one of the ‘trickier’ ones.

Totally agree re the hygiene, T-bird, ugh I hate poor hygiene in the kitchen.. That’s how you spread colds and flues and other nasties, people! Yuk!

My hopeful top 5 would be Rishi, Christina, Lynton, Lucy and hmm Daniel coz he annoys me far far less than one chip wonder (will be calling Emma this from now on), over emotive Kelty and sulky Samira
Won’t mind if Rishi, Christina or Lynton wins, just for the heck of it.. After this season, why not?!

12 Sarah { 08.09.13 at 5:30 am }

Are the contestants not allowed in Masterclass this season?

13 Zhee and her stuck comments { 08.09.13 at 8:08 am }

Noelene’s dish looked disgusting. :/ And the Matt’s comment “Nice, creamy eyeball”. Yikes.

So, now, I want to see Emma and her bangs leave as well as Samira. And I really hate this attitude with “I deserve to be here”. Was one of the first things Samira’s was saying in the interview in this episode.

Regarding Kelty, he totally reminds me of the Russian colleague who is working with me on a project at the moment. He’s always so excited about everything that it sometimes gets annoying, but then again, he’s keeping his own spirit and the team’s spirit high. I think it’s the same with Kelty. It can sometimes become way too much but you can see he actually loves what he’s doing. I really disliked him in the beginning (maybe because I hate Irish kitchen after having live in Ireland for 2 1/2 years) but he’s getting better and I think he’s one of the better cooks this year.His dish tonight looked quite pretty and enjoyable.
Maybe I am wrong but I suppose he’s final 2 with Christina.

14 Priyanka Chopra { 08.09.13 at 11:57 am }


Thank YOU for saying that, about how Noelene’s dish looked disgusting. I’m sure in her defense, had this dish been cooked 100 years ago for a people living in India that were starving to death, then this dish would had been a God sent.

However, when Matt Preston had mention, “Nice creamy eyeball” are you joking (kidding)? What true Australian wants to orders creamy fish eyeballs?

I think all this is made up, as nobody would really claim creamy eyeballs as a restaurant quality dish. Wasn’t the fish DRY too!

15 brain dead dave { 08.09.13 at 12:08 pm }

I thought it was George who shot his load over the “nice,creamy eyeball”.

It doesn’t matter …it was a clanger of a comment that will haunt a few us for some time.

At the end of the day, it’s still an eyeball and I’m practically retching just typing the word.

16 Andrea { 08.09.13 at 12:16 pm }

I feel sick just thinking about fish heads and their eyeballs.
Of all the nice things they could choose to cook and Noelene chooses that, yuck!

17 brain dead dave { 08.09.13 at 12:27 pm }

The Stooges pretended they were being generous by giving Heston the biggest chunk of fish head, who’s forced to concede through gritted teeth that “if done well” it’s a smashing dish.

True to form, Noelene’s fish heads with the creamy eyeballs as bells and whistles are as dry as a dead dog’s arse.

Take the money and run, Heston.

18 Dr T { 08.09.13 at 1:26 pm }

Sarah@62 – if the contestants went into the masterclass they’d have potential leaks everywhere about who was still in the competition from the members of the great unwashed

19 Sarah { 08.09.13 at 1:46 pm }

Ah, of course. Still, it seems unkind to deny them the chance to learn a little something. Heaven knows they need the help.

20 brain dead dave { 08.09.13 at 1:56 pm }

It’d be like casting pearls before swine.

Noelene remained passionately committed to offal to the literal bitter end. The “two heads are better than one” principle doesn’t extend to fish heads unloaded onto celebrity chefs of world renown.

21 Veronica { 08.09.13 at 1:58 pm }

Andrea@66 You are so right about all the nice things Noelene could have cooked and yet she threw out the animal parts most people eat and cooked the bits most don’t want to know about.
It’s not as if Noelene is that old…at 58 she would have been a teenager in the 60s and a young (if she was ever young) woman in the 70s. A time when most of us were spreading our culinary wings and wanting to go beyond the grilled lamb chops and veg most of our mothers served 3 times a week!

22 T-bird { 08.09.13 at 3:03 pm }

Noelene was entertaining so I don’t know how to feel about her going. I’m hoping that Kelty will be the next to leave. He might have improved but he’s still a bad team player who places blame on others when something goes wrong. When Naha was captain he just kept rolling his eyes and continued doing things his way, which of course led to an incomplete/bad dish. Samira on the other hand is too bossy and feels entitled, however it is funny to watch the interactions between Samira and Rishi when they have to work together.

Looking forward to Dubai

23 Anna { 08.09.13 at 5:01 pm }

One good thing about Bake Off is that they all cook same dish, just with a different twist. Makes judging easier and fairer, OR may be it’s just better judges…

24 Eliza { 08.09.13 at 6:30 pm }

The contestants still have Master Class, they have just been doing some separate classes for ‘members of the public’ as well.

25 Sarah { 08.10.13 at 1:42 am }

The contestants’ masterclass is probably mostly closed because $hine (as I believe you call it here) doesn’t want us to see them get lessons on how to butter toast and such.

On another subject, mention has been made here of wasted food. This leads me to complain that on the latest episode of Masterchef USA literally dozens of fried eggs were dumped into the bin, plates and all. It was horrifying.

26 Phineas J. Whoopee { 08.10.13 at 7:53 am }

Have not seen that ep yet but it doesn’t surprise me. MC USA is by and large an embarrassment. My wife likes it so we watch it together, but on my own I would probably skip.

There are a few good cooks here and there, but there’s too much mediocrity and nastiness to really recommend the series.

27 Sarah { 08.10.13 at 8:04 am }

Oh, it’s terrible. I just have this sad addiction to cooking competition shows. I even watch Hell’s Kitchen (and am considering seeking out My Kitchen Rules)!

28 Carole { 08.10.13 at 8:05 am }

I agree with all the comments about fish heads & eyes. I don’t like to see let alone eat that. I remember one of the first times I went to a restaurant when I was younger and ordered fish. It came, head and all. Have never ordered fish again. Only ever have fish fillets in restaurants now, where there is no head. You live and learn.

When Samira was describing her dish to Heston, I thought she was on a winner if it worked out. Unfortunately she didn’t get to do it and had to change it. It must be very disconcerting when you have decided in your head what you want to make, and then they criticise it and you are stuck. You either keep going and hope it works out and you prove them wrong, or have to come up with something completely different.

29 Zhee and her stuck comments { 08.10.13 at 8:25 am }

I actually dreamt of the eyeball last night. At least it wasn’t a huge octopus following me this time. No, a creamy eyeball was sitting next to me at work. It wasn’t nice at all and had teeth!

Regarding MC USA – it’s all about stupid and forced drama. They keep the bitches around until top 5 just to create fake drama. I’ve seen the egg episode as well. Such a waste. Awful and how arrogant the judges are – okay, it’s what you actually expect from Gordon Ramsay.

I was actually hoping that this year is the last for MCA but then again I hope they will make another season but then at least ditch George and Gary. Replace them with Curtis Stone – at least he’s an eye candy. And maybe Marco Pierre White, he’s fun to watch!

30 Anna { 08.10.13 at 8:31 am }

Restaurants, well some offer whole chicken off the grill. It arrives head & tail intact.

Find it funny when they keep on reminding me that fish has bones . I KNOW!!! Fish has bones & they add sweetness to the dish.

Some cultures eat the eye of the fish . At least Noeleen didn’t play it safe, she tried harder then the younger contestants

Samira plays it safe, when in doubt cook traditional YAWN!! BORING!!

31 Anna { 08.10.13 at 8:45 am }

PJW, sounds as if your MC has gone down hill. Still cannot be worse then ours.

Would watch any show with Ramsay as a judge

32 Phineas J. Whoopee { 08.10.13 at 12:12 pm }

Our MC started out so bad that there wasn’t anywhere else to go. Gordon is okay, but there’s not much in the way of constructive criticism. He is IMO, overexposed. MC USA is definitely the “minimalist” of the various series I have watched. In the USA it is for sure the second banana to the more popular Top Chef and its spin-offs.

MCA is in my experience and opinion the second best. I rank as follows:
– MC UK: the grandaddy and the best. No other show is even close in the MC format. Example: Celebrity MC UK is running now. In the first episode (the only one I have seen thus far) they had four contestants do four challenges before anyone was eliminated, and not once did they do that beat-the-clock nonsense. Commentary is firm but positive, and the contestants visibly learn as they go. Also, dependably and genuinely entertaining.

– MC A: overly long, sometimes lacking in talent, but they do explore a lot of cooking, and the contestants are not nasty to one another, as they are in MC USA. For MC A, I think Joanne was the closest ever in terms of an actual dust-up, and that was comparatively mild (and happened mostly off-screen, IIRC)

– MC USA: focuses more on interpersonal rivalry and conflict than actual cooking. LOADED with heavy-handed product placement. Genuinely mean judges. As I said, the whole thing is an embarrassment.

– MC Ireland: So boring I did not finish. No one seemed to want to want to be there in the one series I watched. Really bad.

My wife is after me to get MC Israel, Italy, and Turkey, but so far no joy.

33 Anna { 08.10.13 at 3:35 pm }

PWJ, I like Ramsay, not completely sold on Graham and the jury is still out on the 3rd judge. US MC Season 1 was good, liked most of the contestants and there was no BS attached.

Don’t like our judges, and there is way to much BS that drives t the show

In previous seasons at least some contestants had some talent, this season.. zip zilch nada

Neeha, Samira always fall back on the food they grew up with. Well if I want to learn Indian cooking I’ll buy Madhur Jaffrey Cookbook

For Middle Eastern I’d buy Claudia Roden’s cookbooks

34 Daze { 08.10.13 at 5:09 pm }

PJW & Anna, feel MC S1 started off so professionally with excellent contestants, too many good ones who should have won, but lost on dumb challenges – like, name the spice or herb – can’t remember who it was anyhow a great cook all throughout the series. but lost on saying spearmint, if I recall instead of peppermint. Something like that.

Then, as the 3 judges became well known, power went to G&G’s head more so than Matt’s who was already well known in Aust and UK being a food critic and then I thought great when Matt Moran joined, well he saw the BS and didn’t renegotiate his contract, too damaging for his reputation and the mickey mouse games and rigged set up. Just reading between the lines, these are things we’ll never know. Anyhow Aust viewing audiences so over the judges and lost a lot of viewers with level of entrants this Season. None, terribly memorable. Where is Alvin!!!!

Forum very quiet today.

35 Littlepetal { 08.10.13 at 10:03 pm }

Daze-You are so right. I didn’t watch S1 except for the finale. So I didn’t see what Julie’s ability was. But in the finale, I thought the Chicken rice was not good enough to win. To me Chicken Rice is just a simple dish.

I started watching S2 and enjoyed some of it but still too many inconsistencies. Courtney was the one that got the spearmint and peppermint wrong. Some contestants got special treatments.

They had a good programme but too much emphasize has gone to the judges.

36 daisy { 08.10.13 at 10:09 pm }

I may not have seen s1. I remember two seasons that I loved. One that Princess Jen and her friend won, and the one that Adam won. Did he win one? Oh and the season Andy won. I think these are the seasons I watched. I think they were in a completely different class to this disappointing season.

37 daisy { 08.10.13 at 10:13 pm }

Sorry I keep think of Jen as a MC winner.

I only know which MC season I have seen by its winners.
I didn’t see JG’s season. BTW she kind of grosses me out.

38 Littlepetal { 08.10.13 at 10:15 pm }

Princess Jen is from MKR, my dear. Adam won in S2. That’s the one with Marion, Jonathan, Curry Jimmy and Skye. Forgot about Alvin. S3 has some dodgy contestants. S4 also has some judges favourites.

39 abc { 08.11.13 at 1:14 am }

every even season so far has been good…S2, &S4. S1 & S3 also sucked with bad cooks…..i can cook better than sum who made it to the top 15 or even top 10.

40 Littlepetal { 08.11.13 at 7:28 pm }

According to the TV guide, there will be 2 eliminations this week but the guide for 18 Aug said the remaining 7 contestants…… Did they not eliminate 2 contestants?

41 abc { 08.11.13 at 11:24 pm }

rishi to stay pls…and cristina and lucy as well i dont want them to end the way marion ended in s2 or ben and beau ended in s4. they should stay.

42 Sarah { 08.12.13 at 2:14 am }

Random observations:

* The way Samira said Kelty’s name when she found she was going to be paired with him was hilarious.

* Of course Lynton is hopeless at bartering. He’s far too sweet natured for that blood sport.

* Lynton looks a little more rested. Phew!

* I loved this exchange: George: “The lamb is quite dry.” Matt: “Yeah. And it could have been juicier as well.”

I should’ve guessed Daniel was going to win when he said on the way to Dubai that it was probably the one and only time he’d travel business class. Plus, of course, they want him to win (or want us to think that, anyway).

43 Anna { 08.12.13 at 9:43 am }

Sarah, this time young Daniel is flying first class.

Jowlsy doesn’t fly anything but first class ppfft…. Bwahaha his friends would love to see who he calls his friends…

How much money does he waste??? Economy $1500 first class $15,000. What’s another zero on the end?

44 Sarah { 08.12.13 at 10:08 am }

Business class/first class = potato/potahto, no?

45 Anna { 08.12.13 at 12:38 pm }

Sydney / Paris –

economy $1991
economy prem $3838
biz $5600
1st $ 7298

No, it’s not potato/potahto

Samira didn’t have to go to Doobai, she’s been there. Couldn’t even haggle at the markets and was given wrong meat that was off. Had to laugh

46 Sarah { 08.12.13 at 1:37 pm }

I had no idea! I thought business class had replaced first class (I haven’t flown anywhere since 1989). If anything, though, this buttresses my point: young Daniel was all agog at traveling business class, and by episode end he’s going to be flying in even greater style to gay Paree.

Maybe they wanted to get Samira to Dubai so she could be poignantly (ironically, cruelly) eliminated there.

47 Anna { 08.12.13 at 1:44 pm }

Samira was more then annoying last night. First with hysterical screaming when she was on the poor camel. The animal will never be same LOL

Not being able to negotiate at the markets, the sellers must have been laughing when they sold her old /smelly mutton instead of fresh lamb. Didn’t she smell it?

Then going to bits and leaving Kelty to do it all himself.

At least she met Greg Mauloff, now she can jump on the broom and fly beck home