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Matt Preston Gives His Grumps List For 2014 But Others Were Grumping About Masterchef

At this time of year there are lists with best of 2013 and trends for 2014 for the record the Pantone Colour of 2014 is Radiant Orchid.Β In The Australian they had Grumps of 2014 with Matt Preston giving his list.

However it was a tad ironic that a couple of other people who were selected to share their gripes alongside Matt had a bit of a whinge about Masterchef.

Matt Preston who is a judge on the show grumps were:

I don’t want to drink: Caffeine drinks dressed up in the can like they’re trying to join an outlaw motorcycle gang. Overpriced Australian wine. When a bottle of my favourite gin costs less than a bottle of good pinot you’ll find me drinking negronis in protest.

I don’t want to hear: Sommeliers that talk so much about their “amazing wine choice for this dish” that your food goes cold while they are rabbitting on … Honestly, I don’t care about whether it’s from the Left Bank or Right – just pour me something good that enhances the food.

Expensive food that’s all about the concept and the art but totally forgets about tasting delicious. It’s a restaurant, not a gallery, lads!

Those dreadful “gourmet burgers” that aren’t as good as the originals and are all about twee marketing concepts.

Enough with all the ash in fancy restaurants! It was fun when Copenhagen chef Mads Refslund first made his “burning fields” root veg dish five years ago, but now it’s just another ashtray.

Muffins – they are usually nothing more than a dense formation of chaff, and just as appetising.

I don’t want to read: Vindictive and anonymous reviews online. Online reviews should be the vanguard of reviewing. Their value comes from telling us about somewhere good and undiscovered rather than just retreading the same ground of John Lethlean et al.

Over-excited food criticism that oversells a nice new place as the future of dining. Relax guys, the fact it’s a nice new place is enough for me to want to go.

I don’t want to watch: Poorly made, recycled versions of overseas shows that we love. We are Aussies. If we make them, we should make them better.

I don’t want to see: The loss of a man’s right to have his organic farmland uncontaminated by a neighbour’s GM crops. With this in mind, let’s get behind WA farmer Steve Marsh and his coming court battle with Monsanto.

However Bob Hart a food writer and BBQ guru had as one of his gripes as Masterchef:

Don’t want to watch: I have no idea how a program as promising as MasterChef turned itself into a nonsensical parody of itself and an example of the true horrors of “reality” television, but it has clearly done so. And while many of the decisions made in the course of this deranged festival of bad product-placement are inexplicable, they become even more so when the victors are permitted to conduct their own TV shows without the apparent guidance of a responsible adult. I am, however, looking forward to Jamie’s new two-minute menu series every bit as much as the next lunatic

Elizabeth Merryment of the Sunday Telegraph also had a swipe at the show as well as Matt:

Don’t want to watch: As for the nauseating repetition of words and phrases such as “I love the crunch, the balance of saltiness and sweet” on a certain television reality cooking show, well, thanks Matt, but I’ve had my fill. Roll on 2014.

Mark Best chef/owner at Marque in Sydney may not have been specific but he was a tad scathing of chef’s who he had thought had sold out:

No thanks: A Coles feast of maple-glazed barbecued salmon, roast pork and apple sliders and a classic pavlova? No Curtis Stone, I won’t have a “very Merry Christmas with these festive delights”. In fact I would rather saw my arm off with a Christmas sticky tape dispenser than have that blue-eyed, rottweiler grin intimidate me into partaking in your type of Yuletide cheer.

Heston, I love you mate, but Jesus wept, 300 quid for one of your Chrissy puds on eBay? Something stinks in the state of Denmark!

While I’m on it, hopefully Nigella’s recent troubles mean I will not have to witness the domestic goddess licking ham glaze from one elbow and her five-minute chocolate sauce from the other, by the light of the refrigerator, ever again.

Jamie, I’ve sort of admired you up to when you decided to save the chooks by embedding yourself with Woolworths. More mercenary than pukka, old son.

Closer to home, Darren Simpson. The KFC signature burger was, I thought, the bottom of the family meal bucket. Then along comes the Weber Bunnings commercial. Darren, Darren, Darren … hot hot hot, not.

Not that Curtis is going to give a shit what Mark Best thinks as he has been annointed by the Sunday Tele as one our stars to watch in 2014. He is opening a restaurant in Beverley Hills, Los Angeles soon.

What are your grumps of 2014?



1 Lisa { 12.29.13 at 8:57 am }

I bought a Heston pudding on ebay and it was soooooooooo worth it!

2 Lisa { 12.29.13 at 8:59 am }

Oh – my grump of 2014 – Michelle and Commando affair. I still don’t know how the thought of two perfect bodies together can still be so ewwwwww!

3 Andrea { 12.29.13 at 9:08 am }

Did you pay $300 for the pudding Lisa?
All they need to do on MC 2014 is get back to basics and judge fairly, and don’t bring back eliminated contestants.

4 brain dead dave { 12.29.13 at 9:50 am }

I just saw Dirty Dan from Ma$terchef 2013 featured on the Today show.

Why is he called a “chef” when he’s clearly not? He was a deluded kitchen grub who crashed and burned on the show.

Biggest grump for 2013 ? How some ingratiating fatties’ fertility sob story wins MKR over cooking skill. Thankfully those porkers have fallen off the radar somewhat.

Jowl$y bleating about “twee marketing concepts”- a bit much coming from the fat fraud who launched the banal “Music From Another Platter” CD.

5 Georgie { 12.29.13 at 1:12 pm }

The lowlight of 2013 for me was watching my favourite reality show, MKR, reduced to nothing more than a bad soapie. Following on from that disappointment, was watching my next favourite, Masterchef, having the last nail driven into it’s coffin by being completely and totally, once and for all, NOT about the cooking.

The highlight of 2013 was the debut of House Rules. I loved it, because it was all about the renovations. I fully expect it to go the way of all good RTV over the next few years though – as far as possible from the original concept that made it so enjoyable and popular in the first place.

6 Honey Bee { 12.29.13 at 1:47 pm }

2014 Hasn’t even started yet so I had better not start grumbling about it yet.

Oh hang on, I want to grumble because I found out BNTM will be discontinued.

I would grumble if any of the following appear on my screen;
The Ginger Roach
Evil Ben
Sophia Poo or the other one

I will grumble no doubt or instead just not watch if MKR or MC continue to go down the toilet.

Other people I never want to see on telly
Karl S
Mel (ex Sunrise)
The Koch
Mel B

People I do want to see on Telly;
Tim (BB)
Larry and Kylie
Georgie from Today
Sam from Sunrise

And who is that other blond presenter who sometimes fills in for Sam?
She is good, and naturally funny.

7 Littlepetal { 12.29.13 at 1:49 pm }

I also love Heston pudding. I didn’t even know Coles was selling them last year. I bought mine in Nov and still have 2 puddings in the pantry.

Agree with BDD. Why do they keep referring to Hayden as chef?

Lowlight for 2013 is the poor quality of Masterchef and the judges.

Love Dancing with the Stars

8 Georgie { 12.29.13 at 1:57 pm }

And what “twee marketing concept” would I like to see Ch10 indulge in for 2014?

Move Jowlsy to Ararat!

9 Honey Bee { 12.29.13 at 1:57 pm }

Yes, Littlepetal. the standard was very high in Dancing.

Let’s hope we can see a high standard of cooking from MC and MKR again next year.

10 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 2:06 pm }

I agree with all of the above regarding MKR and MC (except for MC professionals…..I do love Marco πŸ˜‰ )

Two highlights for me were HouseRules and the fasttracking of Survivor.

Oh yeah and how could i forget that i started posting this year and have loved all the conversations we’ve shared. Whether we’ve been on-topic, off-topic, agreeing or disagreeing. For the most part it’s been great fun.

Thanks gice. :-)

11 Littlepetal { 12.29.13 at 2:08 pm }

We should have a Cheffies Biggest Loser. No problems with contestants.
Jowlsy, Peter Gilmore, Frank Camorra,
Gary to name a few.

12 Gabby { 12.29.13 at 2:12 pm }

Georgie @5, totally forgot about House Rules. Let’s hope they don’t change a thing. That was a true bright spot on the reality calendar.
Can’t wait for it to start again.
Hope they have no comedians on MKR again, like those girls we all thought were actresses in the beginning. I don’t think I could stand another Jessie and Biswa and Ashlee and Sophia, they all did my head in.

13 Gabby { 12.29.13 at 2:18 pm }

Oh and what about the one in the tutus that cried every five minutes, I couldn’t stand her either, she really brought her partner down. They are all coming back to me now.
Can’t wait!

14 brain dead dave { 12.29.13 at 2:21 pm }

I think you mean Monique Wright @6 Honey Bee. It’s a shit sandwich having to work with kitschmeister Kochie into the bargain, as well, so bonus points for her.
Happy New Rear to the people of Ararat. Jowl$y for Mayor, Georgie !

15 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 2:24 pm }

Gabby i wonder what we’ll make of “Mr Awesome”, the identical twins with half a brain (who don’t look identical to me) and the others.

I can’t wait.

16 Andrea { 12.29.13 at 2:37 pm }

Techhater @10, House Rules was the biggest success story to me. I thought I would absolutely hate it but I ended up loving it so I hope they don’t change it at all.
Usually when they start messing around with our favourite shows is when they ruin them as in the case of MC.

Can’t wait to see The twins with one shared brain as well, and they don’t look identical to me either, one seems bigger than the other.

17 brain dead dave { 12.29.13 at 2:39 pm }

“Over- excited food criticism”…now Jowl$y would never do that.

Also, what is the big deal about twins on reality tv shows? There’s a difference between scratching your arse and tearing it to pieces,producers. Bring on the triplets and multiple birth contestants.

18 Honey Bee { 12.29.13 at 2:44 pm }

Thanks BDD. Monica has a good natural way about her.
It’s time Koch got the boot.

19 Georgie { 12.29.13 at 2:48 pm }

I notice all Jowlsy’s gripes are centered around food and drink – the basis of his existence.

20 Gabby { 12.29.13 at 2:52 pm }

TH, are you thinking it will start early in the year, maybe just after schools go back? I hope so. We will just have to wait and see how ‘Awesome’ Mr Awesome is. Lets hope they cut out on the back stories a bit this year.
Andrea I remember you saying you weren’t in to the Reno shows and then you got hooked. It’s a good one ain’t it?
Please just leave it as it was.

21 brain dead dave { 12.29.13 at 3:06 pm }

Jowl$y didn’t need to hyphenate “overexcited” , either- but then he’s the esteemed food journalist writing for The Age, who shoots his culinary load when a pannacotta jiggles just right.

I guess Mr Awesome is just a sign of the times. Australians dumbing down their vocabulary with phrases from American television. It’s also disturbing seeing the idiot who thinks he’s Jack Nicholson on MKR. I’ll lay London to a brick that he’ll struggle to handle the truth .

22 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 3:07 pm }

Gabby i’ve got a feeling maybe Feb start for it. Don’t know why just have. Maybe RR might have some info.

Andrea it’s funny a lot of people think ALL twins are identical. My twin is a boy and people always ask “Are you identical?” At this stage of life i just say “Yes” even after i’ve said my twin is a male.

23 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 3:13 pm }

BDD LOL He does look like Jack.

BUT Will he be able to handle the SAUCE???

24 Andrea { 12.29.13 at 3:27 pm }

How come Matt gripes that he wants food to taste delicious because its not an art gallery, its a restaurant.
That’s not what the judges say on MC, they always bang on about the eye appeal, eat with your eyes, presentation etc, so what does he actually want, food that looks good, or food that tastes good?
Honey Bee @9, yes, lets hope the standard is high next year, and I’m annoyed at BNTM finishing up too.
Maybe they could show us some of the older series we never saw here?

25 brain dead dave { 12.29.13 at 3:48 pm }

Ch 9 must be nice and grumpy. They had a record breaking three million plus viewers for the cricket yesterday with similar prospects for today – but the fat lady’s been and gone already.

Now they’re screening a shitty film with every man and his dog in it.(Agatha Christie’s Evil Under The Sun,1982)

I’m not expecting any “Shining” dishes from Jack, Techhater. He does look like later era ,bald Jack, though.

26 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 4:55 pm }

BDD HaHa i have almost every Agatha Christie movie ever made. My number #1 collection consists of over 140 her movies plus all but 6 of her books.

And yes he’s way TOO skinny for the real Jack.

SHINING?????? I doubt that very much.

“Here’s Johnny!!!”

27 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 4:59 pm }

Just changed over no Agatha Christie here just some sh*tty movie from the 60’s on. Watching Tom Hanks classic “The Money Pit”.

28 Andrea { 12.29.13 at 5:01 pm }

I’m watching that too Techhater.

29 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 5:10 pm }

Andrea It’s such a classic isn’t it. I love Shelley Long we just never see her anymore.

OhOh My 2 eldest sons just got home. What a bummer there goes the peace and quiet we’ve enjoyed for the past 2 weeks.

30 Sandii { 12.29.13 at 7:02 pm }

Just turned on the tv and have got some show called”the taste” on. Must be a newy.

31 Andrea { 12.29.13 at 7:18 pm }

@29, loved her in The Brady Bunch Movie, she took Carol Brady off so well.

32 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 7:22 pm }

Sandii RR did a blog about it last week. Looks really good with my domestic goddess Nigella. I’ve booked the encore tomorrow as T20 Big Bash cricket is on and that takes priority.

33 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 7:24 pm }

Andrea “Marsha Marsha Marsha”

34 Sandii { 12.29.13 at 7:41 pm }

Techhater thanks, I missed it, but have read the blog now. I am really enjoying the show. Something a bit new!

35 Techhater { 12.29.13 at 7:51 pm }

Sandii i’m looking forward to watching it tomorow.