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Guest Post: The Biggest Loser Kicks Off Taking On An Entire Town

After a technical malfunction on my end BDD came to my rescue at late notice to do The Biggest Loser recap for the first episode of Season NINE. It sounds like it was an entertaining episode.

Over to BDD:

Hayley Lewis announces that this year will be a very, very different season of Biggest Loser because “an entire town” has been targeted for $hine’s sport.

In the promos leading up to last night, Michelle Bridges reckons we’ll be seeing one of Australia’s “most obese towns” hammered into shape. It’s a small rural city, even the most cursory research will tell you.

The people of Ararat like getting hammered,but not with exercise. They’ve heard it all~”Arafat”, “Fatarat”. Shannan and Commando are on a train to the cellulite city, cursing the population for “living on take away food” and drinking too much. If the Commando and Shannan were the real deal, they’d be jogging to Ararat but they’re taking cheap shots from the train, convinced
that “this town needs us”.

The trainers on the train reckon there’s a problem with portion sizes in Ararat. Dead set? At this point, the producers have cherry picked some of the biggest arses in “Arserat”(tm) being dragged down the main street` for our viewing pleasure. Supermarket trolleys loaded to the gunwhales with junk food. Commando remarks on the “drinking culture” in pubs~ as if there’s going to be a “chess culture’ in there, right? Commando and Shannan could be starting to go bald,just quietly.

The Mayor of Ararat hasn’t got any answers but acknowledges the bleeding obvious about the literal shape the place is in. The Mayor’s at least got his weight under control, which is a minor miracle in this place.

Commando and Shannan have called for at town meeting at 9am, foolishly omitting to include a crowd pleasing sausage sizzle to get a few bums on seats.

What looked like a potential flop becomes a stampede of pumped townfolk bearing down on the Town Hall. The Commando and Shannan medicine show brags how they’ve been responsible for shedding 6 tonnes from “everyday Australians” Dr Swan is produced in an awful mustard coloured suit,informing the crowd that they spend 19 million per annum on take away food. A whole load of lard is released from a truck to show the people what their monthly fat consumption is in real time. I suspect most of the rubbery statistics of Dr Swan have been pulled from fat air to suit the occasion.

We’re about forty minutes into the show when the first contestant starts crying,one of the oldest tricks in the Biggest Loser book. Cue the tragic incidental piano and violin library music. Never been in love. No confidence.
Missing out. Couldn’t have babies because of my weight.Shannan says he can’t decide who to choose to go to the 24 strong boot camp.

We meet Cam, the local Woolworths manager, who’s a mover and shaker in his own right. He’s like the Clive Palmer of Ararat. His appalling tartan “running” shorts are easily the biggest fashion faux pas of the night.

The town drunk, Craig 34 is given a pass to boot camp, as is Cal ,an AFL footy player who drinks heaps and is sensitive to the obesity based taunts of barrackers at matches. Try the Chess or debating club. He rolls out a Biggest Loser favourite~ he’s “doing it for the kids”

So 24 boot camp passes have been handed out. One contestant remarks that a lot of them know each other. Commando tries to pour cold water on the trip to The Grampians warning that it will be all “blood,sweat and tears”. I don’t mind listening to them, let’s do it. We see a preview of him braying to the boot campers to “get on your guts and go!”

First challenge in boot camp is to climb Mt William, highest peak in Grampians ,said Shannan,talking it up for all it’s worth. 20% incline. What it is is a gently ascending bitumen road to the top of said place. There are more tears and struggles on the way and several contestants collapse. The boys at the local council won’t be happy about having to go out and fill in those hazardous dents in the bitumen, I reckon.

Gary, a fifty something year old reaches the top first and goes back to help his wife. The contestants come in like Brown’s cows to thunderous applause as Commando bleats that it’s not about winning but “about digging deep and giving your all”.

Commando’s rope challenge is next as he reckons this will isolate the weakest links in the chain of Losers.. The incentive of winning one of 14 Biggest Loser T shirts is used as a carrot for the contestants. They have to do
squats while holding the rope above their heads. Don’t mind the methane.

Cal the footy player makes it with his “good attitude”. The town drunk and Shaza from the steel factory are through. Woolworths Cam is made to jump through hoops to earn his Tshirt. He spent a lot of time puffed out on the deck but will be a big character in the show, I think.

Katrina gets through but her gallant husband’s climb to first on Mt William was all in vain. He should have tanked and cried was his fatal flaw.

Fourteen contestants are through, we haven’t met all of them yet. A few of them know each other and the mood seems quite friendly.How long before the age old motivators of greed ,jealousy and revenge spoil the party?

First weigh- in and family and friends tomorrow night. More tears in store. Is it wrong to laugh when the contestants cry and fall over?

Ararat trivia:

88% of people in Ararat were born in Australia. Gold
discovered by Chinese miners there in 1850’s. Prior to
the European settlement of Australia, Ararat was
inhabited by the Tjapwurong Indigenous Australian

Biggest Loser screens tonight on 10 at 7.30 pm


1 mittens { 01.22.14 at 6:00 pm }

TH might be Janice Joplin.
AH might be Joni Mitchell.
And remember Lizzie? I miss her. She’d be someone cool too.

2 Gabby { 01.22.14 at 6:29 pm }

Thanks Sandii, I can handle that, Stevie Nicks, I love Fleetwood Mac.
Don’t forget Andrea, Blondie I thought. What about you? Carol King, Annie Lennox? Dolly?

3 Sandii { 01.22.14 at 7:28 pm }

a ginger Arethra

4 mittens { 01.22.14 at 7:49 pm }

One of my all time favourites Sandii. Great choice.

5 Gabby { 01.22.14 at 8:28 pm }

Are you a beautiful redhead Sandii?

6 Sandii { 01.22.14 at 8:57 pm }

A curly haired ranga,

7 Gabby { 01.22.14 at 9:11 pm }

THIs a curly haired red head too. My two kids are red heads but I’m not. I love red heads, it’s so special. You’re very lucky. I bet you hated it when you were a kid. My kids did, but they like it now.

8 Sandii { 01.22.14 at 9:27 pm }

Awesome Gabby, when I was a kid I hated it. It was bright orange. Now that I am in my late 40s it is the most amazing colour. I really like it now. My kids had snowy white hair and I have told them that their own children are going to be redheads no question. Always skips a generation but always turns up. Is your hubby a redhead?

9 Juz { 01.22.14 at 10:10 pm }

Bolders, yep James is cool, in his own daggy way. Love his Scottish jumpers! They all seem nice – no TV villains, unlike some other cooking shows. And the judges’ comments are usually constructive criticism. And I love the comedienne cohosts!

10 Gabby { 01.22.14 at 10:28 pm }

No, old fella is not a red head but has red head brothers and sisters and my mums was red head, so we were destined to have red heads.
I’m glad you are loving it now, I bet you wear it well.
Does anyone know when Biggest Loser is on again? I’ve been waiting every night for it.

11 Juz { 01.22.14 at 10:32 pm }

Sunday, I think. Reckon they should have waited til cricket was over rather than have the gap.

12 Sandii { 01.22.14 at 10:39 pm }

Juz, James is a sweety. I love the jumpers and vest too. How nice is it to watch a show that has no bitchiness or tantrums.

13 Littlepetal { 01.22.14 at 10:52 pm }

Gabby- TBL will be on from Sun, Mon and Tue.

14 Gabby { 01.22.14 at 11:00 pm }

Cheers Juz and Littlepetal. When the cricket finishes hopefully it will be on through until Thursday.
We have got MKR starting next week, haven’t we? Woohoooo!

15 Techhater { 01.22.14 at 11:21 pm }

BDD Well done with the recap. I wont be watching but had a good laugh reading.

RR Welcome back and hope your move goes smoothly.

Mittens Spot on Janice Joplin is my all time fave female singer. Spent my teen years trying to emulate her. Wild hair, big round rose coloured glasses and shabby hippy clothes. Still have the wild hair though.

Gabby Well done you remembering I’m a “ranga” Only thing is it comes out of a bottle these days. Started going grey when i was 18.

BDD i picture you more like a cross between Frank Zappa and Jimmy Page. In a cool way. B-)

We’ve been having satellite trouble again and missed out on the end of Bake Off both days. Who was eliminated? I’ve liked James and Brendan from the start and Desi’s going for Danni.

Can’t wait for Monday MKR and The Block. 😀

16 mittens { 01.23.14 at 12:05 am }

Glad I nailed it TH.
And yeah, Zappa for BDD.

17 mittens { 01.23.14 at 12:05 am }

Glad I nailed it TH.
And yeah, Zappa for BDD.
Or Rodriguez.

18 Joseph Skyrim { 01.23.14 at 9:12 am }

Mittens @38 – haha thank you, flattery will get you everywhere. 😛

19 Carol (without the e) { 01.23.14 at 10:32 am }

Sandii : “Carol (we) definitely Cher on the navy cannon”

I’ve stood at those canons twice you know… on that same ship… and imagined climbing up onto them.

It would have been quite difficult I think… so it’s good that Cher had all those hunky sailors on standby to help her.

It still astounds me that the Navy allowed that clip to be filmed on the ship. It’s held in such reverence over there as being the place where WWII was ended.

So yeah Sandii… in spirit I definitely am Cher on the canons… thumbing my nose at the establishment.

Well done!!!

20 Techhater { 01.23.14 at 11:12 am }

Sandii i picture you more ranga Minnie Ripperton than Aretha

21 Techhater { 01.23.14 at 11:17 am }

Gabby i think of Annie Lennox when i imagine you. “Sisters are doing it for themselves.” O:-)

22 Juz { 01.23.14 at 2:21 pm }

Tech – on Sunday the young mum with the bob, Catherine, was booted from Bake Off. She just had a week where nothing went right but her biggest mistake was being the only one not to put chocolate in the fridge to set. And the week before it was the young blonde lady who could never please the judges. I hope there is another series ready to screen after this one – am too afraid to Google it in case I see who won. Was fascinated to read the winner of the first season’s hubby was in jail for business fraud but looks like she has gone on to be a success in her own right.

23 Gabby { 01.23.14 at 2:31 pm }

Cheers TH, love Annie, and good choice of song, I stand by the words. We have to stand by our sisters.
Do you mind me asking did anything in particular happen to turn you grey at 18? Don’t feel you have to answer. I’ve been silver white for many years, together with a no.4, that’s me done and dusted, too easy, too cheap. This week I will add a splash of pink, just to upset the kids.

24 Gabby { 01.23.14 at 2:37 pm }

TH! I do see you as Janice, in a haze of smoke. Do you get the picture?

25 Techhater { 01.23.14 at 4:18 pm }

Gabby Don’t know why i started going grey so young. What really sucks is it’s been a long and slow process. Still only 40% white. Both Grans were rangas and they were both snow white by my age. And no #4 here just like Janice it’s down to my a*se. And yes usually seen with a ciggy in my mouth. SMOKIN………..;-)

26 Izobel2 { 01.26.14 at 7:31 pm }

Hi all on this thread. Finally watched ep 1 & 2 of TBL, I’m always inspired by it…

Thanks BDD for a great recap.

@19 Michelle26 – I totally don’t care where the bloody hell are ya Michelle hashtag Bridges either!!

Thanks also for the shout outs Mittens & Sandii! And the compliments! I love that you think I’m Snow White & Belinda Carlisle… Ooh Heaven is a Place on Earth!

@Joseph Skyrim – I always imagine you a cute looking 30 year old geek too. 😉

Chat with y’all soon!