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My Kitchen Rules Kicks Off And Their Is A Nouveau Gourmand To Dislike

My Kitchen Rules kicks off and what can we expect? The big MKR truck, no second chances if you come last in the home restaurant rounds you are out, and of course contestants to dislike.

Country folk from NSW Annie and Jason were the first to cook. They were cheese makers and their instant restaurant was called The Milk Barn but it should have been called The Cheese Barn as it was in all three courses. Was it to promote their cheese factory? If so it did not do a good job of it as I still don’t know the name of it and they only got the cheese for the dessert course from there.

For all their talk about country cooking their entree was a tad complex with a strange mix of ingredients. It was goat cheese croquettes with rocket and apple salad and caramelized macadamias. The mains was fillet steak with sweet potato puree, onion rings and blue cheese sauce. Pete Evans probably gagged when he saw all this dairy along with the Raspberry and White Chocolate Cheesecake for dessert. The cheesecake twist was that it was made with labna and It was mildly amusing that Jason’s family cheese factory  did not have the amount of labna in stock that they wanted.

The lack of labna was the only hiccup in their prep time with the big plot line being whether mixing it with cream cheese would diminish the texture and flavour. The only other drama point was the cooking of the steak, but more on that later.

But really MKR is not all about the cooking it is about the other contestants and they must have been wondering why they had to walk down a drive way rather then be driven down it. But I suppose they wanted one of the city girls to stack it on their stilettos. I note later that Pete and Manu got dropped at the door and did not have to stagger up the drive using their iphones to light up their path in the dark.

Helena and Vikki win the most condescending award of the night whilst Chloe and Kelly win the most pretentious title. Chloe and Kelly like the finer things in like like triple cream bries and truffle oils. Side note Anthony Bourdain forbids his team on The Taste  from cooking with truffle oil because he hates it so much. Of course Kelly was continually reminding people she had travelled to 42 countries and at many Michelin star restaurants. Kelly is the downside of the mining boom in Western Australia  – a nouveau gourmand.

You get the feeling they are being set up for the big fall.

Andrew and Emelia are a couple and the old duck from South Australia looked like she disapproved of the cross cultural pairing or maybe he also revealed to the table as he did to camera that he was Emelia’s “first”. Andrew seems to see himself as a creative wacky funny guy but on camera he just comes across as annoying. He probably saw the Tassie father and son get a radio gig last year and thought I want in.

Paul and Blair are from the Gold Coast and are mates as well as PE teachers and at first it looked like we were going to get the healthy eating schtick from them as we did last year from the Bondi boys, but they chomped on the cheesecake with gusto.

Helena and Vikki the twins from Victoria think Greek food is the best but I note on their cakes and biscuit market stall there is not a lot from that cuisine. Also if they think having one brain between two people is an advantage in this competition there could be problems ahead for this pair. Of course they immediately dismiss the older couple as competition and hated Chloe and Kelly on sight. But they were not alone on that one.

Deb  who is the old duck from South Australia has a lot of moxy with a touch of the Bette Midler’s about her both in look and the attitude. She is teamed with her husband  of 38 years,Rick.  While the rest of the girls were simpering at Manu and Pete, Deb ensured she was the first to get in with a sassy one liners telling him she hoped that there was a lot of wax in his hair as she was ready to make it stand up on end. She also told Pete he was too good to touch.

This couple were amusing when she said to camera that she would like to roll in the hay with him and Rick retorted “You would get hayfever”. She will immediately go to being my favourite if she does go the grope with either Manu or Pete.

Kelly managed to drop that she loved croquettes as she used to live off them in the Basque region of Spain. But then she managed to dump on the menu saying it was very old fashioned cooking “what Nan cooks”. Chloe was going to struggle and said she gagged when she ate cheese. At this point I wanted Vikki to point out to her that she had had worst things in her mouth…

The croquettes in their entree looked good until they drizzled honey over it and it was a huge serve with three croquettes. Even though it was unclear whether Pete had more then one bite his body must have been craving dairy as he told Jason and Annie they started the competition off with a bang. He did criticise the sweetness of the dish. Manu thought the goats cheese was a little bit too dry but he thought it was nice.

Chloe was having her own personal Fear Factor with the cheese saying “as I was cutting in I was scared” but the melodramatics were all for nothing as she thought it was OK. Kelly did not think it was a croquette as being the world traveller that she is she thought croquettes were béchamel sauce crumbed and fried. Manu must have been outside having a ciggie at that point as there was no eye rolling from him about her lecture on what croquettes actually are to the rest of the table.

Kelly was flicking the Victorian twins bitch switches with her try hard ultimate foodie routine.  She likes her steak blue and her wine red. She got her wish with the steaks with Jason had undercooking them so they were rare not medium rare.  This pleased her and Manu but Deb and Rick struggled as they like theirs well done. Kelly said continued with her gourmand traveller bollocks saying “If it had been seasoned more it would have been up their like steak off an Argentinian grill”. You can’t see Chloe and Kelly’s friendship surviving this show.

Pete and Manu also criticised the seasoning which was interesting as it looked like Jason had put a mound of pepper and salt on them.

Dessert looked good and the cheesecake did not appear to be affected by the fusion of cheeses. Also probably not the smartest tactic to put NSW on the plate just before the other contestants are about to score you. Manu thought it missed the wow factor. Pete enjoyed the dessert and he liked the sour flavour from the labna though he did not like the NSW.

Kelly who declared she did not like dessert was shovelling it as was her team mate who does not like cheese. Kelly then declared it was a bit boring. It was amusing that Kelly managed to miss her mouth and dump some of the cheesecake on her lap. The twins also thought it was safe. The Queensland boys however liked it.

Scores from the other teams were:

SA – 6

QLD – 7

ACT – 7

VIC – 7

WA – 7

For a total of 34/50.

The judges were far more generous with Pete scoring the entree 8, the main 9, and dessert 8.

Manu scored the entree 7, the main 9, and dessert 7.

Jason and Annie received a total score of 82 which must mean they will be through to the next round. Have to say I thought the nine points for the mains by the judges was too generous and gives them little wriggle room in future rounds. This is probably why there will be perfect tens later in the competition.

What did you think of the first episode of My Kitchen Rules? Will you be tuning in again?


1 Amy { 01.28.14 at 10:48 pm }

Kess @29 I recognise them too. Wondering whether I have seen them around Adelaide (Uni or work) or on TV??

2 Lebay { 01.29.14 at 6:10 am }

Windsong, both my kids were screaming GAY at Andrew last night. Actually, they were debating if he were top, bottom or versatile for most of the ep. Seems that Emilia is a poor beard!

3 Mel { 01.29.14 at 8:09 am }

They didn’t say on the menu that the steak was medium rare they only said it to manu in the kitchen so y would they be marked down when they produced on the plate what the menu said n no1 in any other season has asked how ppl want the steak cooked it’s common if u go to a wedding and they serve steak it’s always cooked medium rare

4 Aimee mason { 02.01.14 at 8:29 am }

Vikki get smile off your face don’t fight here to win what’s
Wrong with you same goes with Helena why makes marks
About food for too much on dish. Grow up be young woman
Act like grow ups from aimee mason

5 Aimee mason { 02.01.14 at 8:36 am }

I want boys to win please good job with main and dessert vote for 10/10 well done keep up good work go QLD lesson your heart From
Aimee mason