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My Kitchen Rules – Christo And Harry Followed The KISS Principle

Harry and Christo made sure the second time cooking at the instant restaurant they kept it to the KISS principle – keep it simple stupid. Josh and Danielle whose complex ‘alchemy’ menu saw them go to the bottom of the table looked bitter and twisted when they saw what the boys were dishing up.

Simple menu or not it still took them three hours to get their main course onto the table and surprisingly they were not penalised more for that.

The main was Pheasant with Bread Sauce and Beetroot Salad and lucky for them there were twelve birds in stock when they went to buy them as they are harder to find then guinea fowl.

Harry was making it off his grandmother’s recipe however he had never cooked pheasant before so you knew that the potential for it to end disastrously was high. Viewers know Harry is not there for his cooking skills and producers confirmed this when they had shots of him in the shower and standing topless in front of the mirror.

Why he thought a quick searing in the pan and then fifteen minutes in the oven was going to cook it it through was a mystery. When they first took the birds out they were raw. It was unclear how long the bird actually took to cook but it took over three hours to get the main out.

It is interesting that they were not heavily penalised for the delay as Manu scored them an eight and Pete a seven. It goes to show it is OK to be late with your meal as long as it is good. Manu thought the bread sauce was one of the best he had tasted so it had been worthwhile for Christo to turf the first batch and remake it. Again this did not help with their timing.

What were they doing whilst the main was cooking? As they appeared to take a lot of time to cook and plate their simple dessert of Cooked Stone Fruit with Amaretti Crumble and Vanilla Ice Cream. Christo decided the crumble was too moist so again re-made it.

The boys appeared to be more relaxed and in control of their preparation time. The only hiccups were burning the Amaretti biscuits when they had the oven on fan grill not fan bake and they did have an electricity black out, which was not there fault.

Once the guests arrived Harry even cracked a joke handing over a bottle of red wine to David saying “this is for you”. The wine did not make him a more jovial guest saying “Her food is going to come out dry and unpalatable, a bit like her personality”.

The entree was Sauteed Calamari with Capsicum and Garlic infused Olive Oil on Salad Leaves. They said they usually made this dish with chilli but were concerned there might be some chilli haters around the table. It might have had a bit more flavour if they had.

Even though others thought the dish was simple, David said he would not do calamari for twelve people as it would come out tough. However Manu said the dish was too simple and this meant it had to be amazing and it wasn’t as the calamari was a bit under.

Kelly may not have hooked up with Harry as she called the entree”meh”.

Then there was the three hour wait for the pheasant but once it was on the plate all the judges and the contestants loved it. All except David who said it was disgusting and then complained about the entree serving size.

The boys again were slow with dessert. Christo decided the biscuit crumble was too moist so scraped it out of the nectarines to re-do. Once it was on the table Pete thought it was delicious.

The scores were:

Carly and Tresne – 6

Josh and Danielle – 4

Cathy and Anna – 6

Chloe and Kelly – 6

David and Corinne – 5

Total 27/50

Pete gave four for the entree, a seven for main, an eight for dessert and Manu gave a three for entree, an eight for main, and an eight.

They got a grand total of 65 which means they are safe with Josh and Danielle at the bottom still.

Tonight David and Corinne cook and it could be the highest rating episode yet.

My Kitchen Rules on SEVEN at 7.30pm.


1 Public // Health // Warning { 02.24.14 at 3:12 pm }

Royal Commission needed.

2 Andrea { 02.24.14 at 3:14 pm }

I guess the boys needed to do the maths and realise that 12 pheasants would take longer to cook than one or two.
Since the recipe was Harry’s grandmother’s, I thought he would have had more of an idea as to how to cook it.
Waiting three hours for the main is really unacceptable and points should have been deducted for it.
I still like those cheeky boys though, glad they got through.

3 Gidgitvonlarue { 02.24.14 at 3:34 pm }

Common sense would dictate that the pheasants were basically the size of a medium chicken – so they’ve never baked chicken before? Still I’m glad they got through. David and Corrine tonight are goners for sure. They know dickhead David cannot maintain that schtick for much longer. Whether he’s just an asshole or he’s being ‘coached’ by the producers – it all comes off phoney.

4 Bolders { 02.24.14 at 3:41 pm }

Agree Gidgit – he comes off as tres phony.

I call bullshit on David’s schtick.

5 Littlepetal { 02.24.14 at 3:43 pm }

Harry is a joke. He just has no basic cooking skills. That main dish is not all his efforts. Christi made the bread sauce.

Even if the judges deduct points for waiting so long., they are still ahead of Josh and Daniella

6 Public // Health // Warning { 02.24.14 at 4:07 pm }

And Harry very quickly showed delusions of grandeur when praised and was thereafter nasty/unsupportive to his partner Christo during dessert preparation. And those nesting caterpillar eyebrows are bugging me.

7 Littlepetal { 02.24.14 at 4:10 pm }

Agree #6. I wouldn’t eat anything cook by Harry. He keep running his fingers through his hair and then food with his bare hands. He should be embarrassed that he took so long to cook the pheasants. LOL

8 Georgie { 02.24.14 at 4:14 pm }

Harry is about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

9 Ali { 02.24.14 at 4:30 pm }

Why do the cameramen insist on focussing in on Harry’s hairy bits? I got a nauseous flashback to Captain Jack’s chest toupee.

I had trouble ascertaining whether the judges were critiquing the food or talking about the contestants. After the entree, Manu said “There’s Simple – and there’s Too Simple”. So which one is Harry, and which is Christo? Actually that’s way harsh. They both seem like Pheasant Pluckers who lead a Pheasant Plucking life (judging by that house).

How on earth could they think that an entire tray of pheasants be roasted in 15 minutes? Bianca, should you choose connubial bliss with Christo, he has demonstrated a problem with premature withdrawal. Then continuous reinsertion – in, out, in, out, in, out – for three hours! On national television!

After all that time in the kitchen, were they breeding those pheasants, or just cooking them?

When Christo is being admonished by the judges for a substandard meal, he assumes a blank, hooded-lid stare that makes him look like he’s in a police lineup.

As The Captain was departing at the end of the night, he muttered something about “cans” and I thought he was referencing Corinne’s full figure. Then I realised he mumbled “Back to CAIRNS”.

Tonight’s MKR looks like a doozy. They serve us up something really thick – yep, The Captain’s back. I think their too-thick soup is used as rendering on an upcoming episode of House Rules.

The producers must have been salivating at realising the full comedic potential of Captain Jack and his crew of one. That, and experiencing another fully paid tropical holiday in Far North Queensland.

After their last dinner, the Captain said they got off lightly as not everything that had gone wrong was shown (eg their fridge broke down). Well, The Captain spoke, and the producers listened. It looks like they will be shown in all their sinking-of-the-Titanic glory.

I don’t know why Corinne is complaining about having to press The Captain’s trousers. After all, that panoramic floor to ceiling view while she is ironing looks just spectacular.

10 Public // Health // Warning { 02.24.14 at 4:43 pm }

Could it be that the Captain is a red hot unreconstructed alpha male who’s heady Brut 33 musk floods the senses of a female generation calcified by non-offensive metrosexual nonces? Is he a breath of stale air shaking up the world of the younger set? Have you seen the way Anne stares at him?

11 Georgie { 02.24.14 at 4:45 pm }

Anna’s stare is rather blank though, from memory.

12 Georgie { 02.24.14 at 4:56 pm }

Good read Ali and very funny. Thank you.

13 LB { 02.24.14 at 5:58 pm }

The scoring is sure all over the place, particularly from the judges – wasn’t another team penalised points wise earlier this season for taking too long to get food to the table?
Having said that, I’m pleased that the Vic boys got through – some of their lines have been genuinely funny and even though they can’t cook they’ve added some personality to this round. Otherwise these IR’s would have been mired in Dave and C&K’s negativity.
Really looking forward to tonight – I generally don’t like to see people fail, but in Capt Dave’s case I’ll make an exception :)

14 daisy { 02.24.14 at 6:13 pm }

LB don’t you have an Uncle like Jack, who gets drunk and strips down to nothing at Chrissie?

15 LB { 02.24.14 at 6:19 pm }

Dear lord, no! Daisy!!! But on reflection, given that pretty much every family has an “Uncle Jack” and I can’t think of one in our extended family – maybe I AM the “Uncle Jack” of our family. Eek! 

16 Smythe { 02.24.14 at 6:22 pm }

Time for Captain Jack to walk the plank.

17 PoRk ChOp { 02.24.14 at 10:09 pm }

I’m sure that Harry stated, more than once, that they were “cooking peasants.” Had that been the case, then the 3 hour waiting time, might have been slightly more acceptable.

Kelly, and her “meh” comment was surprising, only because there was bugger all food left on her plate. It can’t have been too bad, Kells!

Last week, Manu made a big song and dance, about placing hot food “unto zee cold leav-es making dem lump.” However, he wasn’t complaining about hot calamari on the “leav-es.” As pointed out by fellow bloggers, inconsistency abounds.

My very observant friend was shocked, to say the least, when Harry & Christo’s dessert was scored so highly by the judges, particularly after Manu had stated that the fruit crumble had been served with “vanilla ar$e cream!” Zo vunderfool!