for those who have reality tv as their guilty pleasure
Reality Ravings | Australia's leading Reality TV blog!

Guest Post: Survivor Cagayan – Super Spencer to the Rescue!

Gidget Von La Rue kindly keeps on sending in these awesome guest posts:

Previously on Survivor – most awesome Tribal Council ever, that’s what! In the wise words of legend Boston Rob – the minute someone starts boasting that ‘they are ruling the game’ – vote their ass off. Thus Sarah the cop was sent packing and Spencer who was in Sarah’s alliance commented behind Cass ‘Cass, no chance of winning Survivor’. Cass said something back and let’s face it who cares because she’s an idiot. A flipping idiot – literally!

Spencer has it out with Cass when they get back to camp as L.J stands there looking hot.  Cass now has to suck up to her NEW alliance but rest assured she’s gone to the bottom of her new alliance. Spencer now says the most spot on thing ever said on Survivor: “Cass from day ONE has played like a frigging idiot’.

well played sir

The next morning everyone is doing stuff except for the young beautiful young lady with the drop dead gorgeous body – what a surprise! So turns out Tit’s McGee is being lazy because back home she doesn’t even have to wipe her own ass and that really pisses off hatchet face, sorry I mean Cass. Cass plays dobber dobber pants on fire then refers to Tit’s (far away from where anyone can hear her) as an ‘old dog’. Meoowwww. Oh I mean ‘woof’.

maths

First challenge is for reward which is a shameless promotion of Outback Steakhouse. I have no doubt it’s a LOT cheaper in America than it is in Penrith because the food at Outback Steakhouse Penrith is about as pricey as going to Neil Perry’s Rock Pool (maybe MORE expensive)  And can I just say – s’mores suck ass, right up there with Mac & Cheese for pointless flavourless food. *vent over*

smores

I take your s’mores and raise you a Vienetta! Take that America.

So the challenge is a kind of ‘run over balance beam, get a heavy box, go up a wall, work out a puzzle’ business. Strangely everyone gets across the balance beam aside from Woo who is STILL wearing those silly toe shoe sock things. It’s a very close race between the two randomly picked teams but my husband-to-be L.J works out the puzzle quicker because he’s all smart and stuff. Now seriously watch Tasha during this whole thing. She not only trips over because she’s taken on the ghost of J’Tia, but she literally does nothing! So Orange win and get to go to tropical Island Outback Steakhouse where the first thing they get served is a…salad? Fuck that. Bring on the damn steak and potato covered in butter!

Back at camp the LOSERS start planning, while Cass labels herself as a ‘free agent’.  If the rest of them were smart they would all get together, put alliances aside and say ‘well this Cass bitch is an unreliable wild card – lets boot her off and get a fresh start’ – but nooooooo.

Meanwhile back at Outback Steakhouse turns out Spencer has not been brought up correctly thus doesn’t discover the clue in his napkin to the special immunity idol (that turns out not being special at all) until the end of his meal. Of course L.J sitting next to him would have discovered the clue before the first food was put in front of him because he was raised correctly and puts his napkin on his lap like a cultured chap. Strangely no one sees Spencer quickly put the paper clue from his napkin into his pocket which I found amazing but after all that food they are probably all in a food coma.

fat cat

When the stuffed contestants return to camp Woo quickly works out that there was probably a clue for the immunity idol at the reward so the minute it stops raining, Spencer dashes off with Woo in hot pursuit. What occurs next is beyond entertaining and really should be sped up a bit with Benny Hill music playing. Actually I’m going to do that because it’s funny.

camp old dude

I bet Mozart wish HE had written Yakety Saks! (see note at end of article)

Basically Spencer is searching but it’s near water so has to remove his shoes and socks (who the hell wears socks on a tropical island aside from British tourists??) as well as his pants THAT HAVE THE CLUE IN THEM! When Woo rocks up Spencer panics and leaves, but forgets his pants which Woo picks up – thus clue falls out and Woo swipes it and does a runner! The most entertaining part is Woo’s piece to camera describing himself as a ‘ninja stealth mode’ etc. Woo arrives back at camp – tells everyone so of course everyone scarpers and starts looking. Even Tits! Tony does say a very funny line: “You know it’s bad when Morgan, the girl you don’t know if she’s a pillow or a person because she does nothing, you know it’s serious when SHE’S up looking for the idol” Booyah Tony. So everyone is scampering to find this idol. Tasha is using a pole to stick in holes so how would she know if she’s discovered the idol? You have to use your damn hands! Suddenly everyone leaves aside from Spencer and Cass (god knows why?) Spencer makes peace with Cass and while doing so he finds the idol. Cass doesn’t see and Spencer gets it. Nice move. That was fun. In an interview with Jeff Probst he brings up a very good ‘filming’ point. As he said ‘it was chaos as we had several camera crews following each person and contestants running everywhere, yet you never see one cameraman or sound person. I’m amazed we pulled that off’. True dat.

camera man

Yooo hooo, I see you!

So it’s immunity challenge where it’s one of those ‘just stand and do something really uncomfortable for a really long time’. Usually it’s the older broads who take this out (for some reason) but they are pretty much first out with Cass out in 2 seconds into the challenge. Jeff cannot hide his contempt for her. Of course Jeff is all ‘oh you poor thing’ when the two pretty hot girls lose it, but when Woo does he’s all ‘toughen up, you’ve been through worse’ etc. Yes, I notice EVERYTHING! So it’s down to Tasha and Spencer (1 and a half hours like that!) I honestly would have put my money on Tasha winning this as Spencer is shaky as hell but Tasha loses it and Spencer wins ANOTHER immunity. This kid is killing it.

Back at camp everyone is scrambling and there is a definite two sides. Now that Cass has flipped she’s in with the bigger numbers so Spencer tries to get Cass to come back to them. I have no doubt Cass thought about it, seeing she’s a ‘free agent’ and shit. I still find it amusing she thinks she’s running the game. How cute. She even brings up how she is ‘tops’ in a courtroom. I’d love to see that.  Is it a kindergarten court?

At Tribal Council, Sarah the first member of the jury is brought in. Surprise she is smiling. Usually the jury members walk in with stink face because they are SO bitter they got fucked over and voted off. Jeff grills Tit’s McGee about why she’s so lazy and Tit’s basically says ‘ugly people are losers, I’m hot so I’m special’ (in so many words).  Welp turns out Tits is out. Cass doesn’t swing, sticks to her new alliance and we get to see Tits McGee’s awesome toushie gently wobble away with her flame snubbed out.  Now really Spencer should have given his hidden immunity idol to Tits. Ok she’s useless but he needs to keep the numbers and he was already safe. Tony would have gone home and well, Cass would have swung back to Spencer’s alliance. But he doesn’t so Morgan ‘Tits’ goes home. Now I would think Spencer might be in trouble but according to the preview of next week Tony’s alliance all start to turn on each other due to Tony being a paranoid mental nutcase. Can’t wait!

 

Yakety Sax” is a pop-jazz instrumental music composition composed by James Q. “Spider” Rich and Homer “Boots” Randolph III and popularized by saxophonist Randolph in his 1963 recording. Benny Hill did not write it.

29 comments

1 Gidgitvonlarue { 04.12.14 at 3:40 pm }

Gah what a terrible review! 😉

2 Reality Raver { 04.12.14 at 4:31 pm }

Gidgitvonlarue – I meant to comment on last weeks but have to say Kass is a moron. She goes from being entrenched in a solid alliance to being number six on the other alliance. And in the process pissing off five people that are going to be on the jury. If she can take out the win I will be very surprised. All because her ego was bruised by Sarah.

3 Gidgitvonlarue { 04.12.14 at 5:07 pm }

RR – could not agree more. It must not take a lot of smarts to become a lawyer in America – or a nuclear scientist for that matter! Cass is a goner for sure. She wont even get close to the end. On the bright side – she should be comfortable around juries!!

4 Sioux Denim { 04.12.14 at 6:06 pm }

Kass really hasnt got a good read on things heh! I wonder if she looks back on this and can see now she fcuked it up…..doubt it!

Yakety Sax has a special place in my heart. The DJ played it at our wedding to get people back to their tables for speeches, makes me giggle a lot!

5 Carrie { 04.12.14 at 7:21 pm }

I just loved the fact that the cameramen never failed to show us a birdseye view of Morgan. Even when she was casting her vote they filmed it from above her. But didn’t film anyone else from that position. I will miss that with her gone as it always amused me. Thanks again Gidgit for another great recap.

6 Izobel2 { 04.12.14 at 9:32 pm }

Another fab recap Gidget! I loved Tony’s pillow comment!
I also loved when Spencer raced back to camp and said ‘where is everybody, is EVERYONE looking for the idol now!?’
Really enjoying this season. Woo cracked me up, and yes, could definitely have the Benny Hill song going, with a few more shots of Tits McGee thrown in!!

7 daisy { 04.12.14 at 11:17 pm }

Thanks GVL. Entertaining as always. Love the pics and captions.

In Morgan’s defence; she would have learned how to wipe her bum years ago if others weren’t always kissing it. Doc Phil calls them ‘enablers’. I have a friend who is ddg and people are always falling over themselves to do things for her too. And she lets them. What’s a gorgeous girl to do?

If they did the Yakkety Sax run, they would have had to have Morgan with her boobs out and slapped Tony on the head.
Now down to business; I don’t like Woo now, because he didn’t play nice and was too cocky with his ninja stuff.
I like Spencer, Tasha, Jeremiah and LJ.
I hope Spencer wins.

8 Izobel2 { 04.13.14 at 12:15 am }

I’m on Team Spencer too Daisy!

9 Juz { 04.13.14 at 12:44 am }

Spencer was a doofus for not tucking the clue in his undies, but I still want him in the final three. Previews for next week look interesting, as the paranoia sets in. If Tony is freaking out maybe his allies will turn on him? The producers will be devo when he goes – he has the best to camera pieces.

10 Andrea { 04.13.14 at 2:47 pm }

I was glad Spencer got the immunity necklace and the idol.
He was meant to get the idol anyway, he got the clue in his napkin, not the others.

11 daisy { 04.13.14 at 3:16 pm }

I was annoyed at Woo for stealing it and then acting all arrogant ninja. He lost my vote then. Tasha gained my vote when she gritted her teeth and got to second place in the immunity challenge. When I thought back, I realized being lumped in with Cass and T’doff had made her reflect some radiated idiocy.

I know it’s Connivor but I like it when they play with integrity and win. That’s why I don’t like Boston Rob. He loved lying, cheating and manipulating. I liked the Fireman who was such a hero that he HAD to win every immunity because he had the biggest target on his back ever. OK back to Sunday school for me :)

12 Carole { 04.13.14 at 9:16 pm }

I’m with you Gidget, fuck the salad, give me the steak & all the yummy stuff.

Woo was hilarious sneaking around Spencer when he was searching for the idol.

Any attractive women out there who have found success on their merit and don’t rely on their looks must be really hating Morgan. She needs to realise looks & youth don’t last forever. How is she going to fend for herself when she loses her looks & gets old?

Watching the Ponderosa clips of Sarah & Morgan hating on Kass, it will be very awkward if Kass is the next person voted off.

13 Juz { 04.13.14 at 9:34 pm }

I read an interview with Morgan today and she said Kass did not tell them she is a lawyer. Interesting they have not shown that on the show.

14 Anonymous { 04.14.14 at 8:57 am }

I cant stand Kass Either – but i can’t remember Cochrane copping all this hate when he flipped on his entire tribe and then was swiftly voted out after his tribe disintegrated.

15 q { 04.14.14 at 9:57 am }

@anonymous I think I recall Whitney getting pissed off at Cochrane after he jumped ship in his 1st season.

I actually think Kass will make it to final 3 cos she is now the goat to take (5 pissed off jury members), where she will then get slammed by Sarah/Morgan and then potentially spencer

16 Trent { 04.14.14 at 10:17 am }

Sorry – Anonymous was me!

NoSorry I meant the anger from the general public. When Cochrane flipped he wasn’t attacked as bad as Kass. I guess he is more likeable

17 Rosie { 04.14.14 at 12:22 pm }

Great recap again, Gidge.

Y’know, I still can’t take to Spencer. I know everyone else has taken to him as their blue eyed boy, but I can’t get past his original comments describing himself as “brilliant”. Who does that? He’s a uni student for God’s sake! When he’s actually achieved something other than sharing a chess tournament win (and hey, as I ranted about before, Mr R has won several chess tournaments all on his own and that he does not claim to be brillinant)….oh God, I’m ranting about the chess thing again. Sorry…

Anyway… Spencer has done nothing in the game to deserve his self titled “brilliance”. In fact, had he half a brain in his head, he’d have destroyed that clue once he’d read it. Wouldn’t he?

Woo, on the other hand, had he half a brain in his pretty head, should surely have just put the clue right back where he found it and joined ol’ Spencer in the hunt and left the rest of the tribe in the dark. Who knows? Woo may have been the one to find it!

Mr Rosie was sad to see the end (or top ;)) of Tits McGee, but cheered up a little when I told him he’d see her for a moment in Tribal Council every week. What a sad little creature she is. I suppose looks really are important aren’t they? *big eye roll*

18 Juz { 04.14.14 at 12:26 pm }

I could be getting my seasons mixed up, but when Cochrane flipped wasn’t he on the bottom of his alliance, on a tribe of “beautiful people” who treated him poorly? As far as we know Kass was in a pretty good spot with Spencer, Tash and co before her flip (out)

19 Jason { 04.16.14 at 8:49 am }

How does Woo move around in “stealth ninja mode” with a camera man following his every move? Does the camera man also move in “stealth ninja mode”? Whilst Spencer may not see Woo hiding in the bushes, surely he would see the camera man!

20 Reality Raver { 04.16.14 at 9:34 am }

Jason – Good point. That always confuses me. Like when Spencer has finds the immunity idol and then is off in the bushes showing it to the camera guy. Why does no one notice?

21 daisy { 04.16.14 at 11:19 am }

Rosie, good point on Woo. He was very unstealthy running off with the clue. He only needed to read and return it.
And btw, a good wife SHOULD brag about her hubby. It makes him happy.

22 Carole { 04.16.14 at 9:52 pm }

Actually Probst talked about the camera work in that scene, how they were all looking for the idol in the same area all with camera crews following them and how none of the camera men can be seen. It was very good editing.

23 Sioux Denim { 04.17.14 at 11:57 pm }

Oh Gidget, hope you coping ok tonight….big fcukin mistake I say….Tony is trouble….keep him till the end though, no one will vote for him!

24 daisy { 04.18.14 at 12:20 am }

OK Sioux, that’s a massive clue. But no wodries as I won’t be able to see it for another 2 weeks and won’t be able to resist the recaps.
So because I think you mean You know Who, that really sucks and GVL may not be able to bring herself to recap this week. If she does, expect some very dark photos. I am thinking Peter Laurie in the Raven, Hitcocks Psycho, Carrie, Pet Cemetry and Nightmare on Elm street.
Sorry GVL. Don’t be too sad. He’ll still be there on jury duty, looking all fresh and shiny from his shower with water glistening on his body, yet still rugged and wild.
Most of them don’t look anywhere near as good after their Hollywood preening at the end.

25 Sioux Denim { 04.18.14 at 9:46 am }

Sorry Daisy…..I had had a couple of wines and didn’t think!

26 daisy { 04.18.14 at 9:53 am }

Oh don’t worry Sioux. I can’t watch for at least another week anyway and there was no way I would have waited. I would have read GVL today anyway. It will be interesting to see how she is coping. No doubt she needed to have a few drinks herself.
I can’t wait for this recap.
Maybe it will be photos of movies about lost love:
The Titanic, Bonnie and Clyde, Romeo and Juliet, Splendour in the Grass, Lassie Come Home.

27 daisy { 04.18.14 at 9:56 am }

Or perhaps she will go into denial.

28 theanaboliccookingreview.blogspot.Com { 05.23.14 at 4:15 pm }

Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say,
I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring
blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have
any tips for inexperienced blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

29 advoice { 05.23.14 at 4:41 pm }

My advice is watch out for people pretending to make sincere comments, who are in fact just trying to get people to click on their own links.
Although you probably won’t have to worry, because it’s usually pretty obvious.