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Guest Post: House Rules – The First Reveal – Did You Expect Those Results?

Annajjj has been working harder then these renovators writing these recaps. A big thank you.

Over to you Annajjj:

It’s the day we’ve all been waiting for – well those of us who haven’t switched to Master Chef and are still nailed to the house reno in NSW. Reveal day! But first we get a quick recap of the highlights (?!) from the past week and then into the final frantic hours of the renovation.

Snow White and their dwarves re-enact the escape scene from Sound of Music and I think we should drink twice for that, then a quick montage of Carole hating Gapper, Lisa struggling with life, Bomber being obnoxious and we don’t see anything of Maddie and Lloyd who are obviously maintaining their undercover plan.

Quick shot of the bathroom which seems to have a heavily tiled feature wall and then one tile stuck on the opposite wall. Not really paying attention to McCrave’s suggestions there. There are some very bright colours going in and some unpleasant scenes of Bomber being an absolute tool. Haven’t seen much to like about this bloke so far. Iggy is feeling lost and confused and he calls Carole for support which seems like a bad idea and it is. She is too busy screaming at the GPS to waste any time screaming at him so Iggy is left to manage on his own which he does by wandering around in little circles. McCrave, wearing macramé, comes to the rescue to remind Iggy that she is a designer. Thank god for that – we finally have a designer in the house. She suggests wrapping the kitchen in alfoil or some such nonsense and beats a hasty retreat when Iggy tries to go in for a kiss of gratitude.

In Snow Whites zone we have a black and white tub (ha!) and some sort of pink art. These two like pink a lot. Over to Carly and the Gosling who are worried they might really hate their free reno. Back at TFWFH Mel tries unsuccessfully to engage Bomber in decisions and then Maddie and Lloyd are uncovered and they tell us people underestimate them. Probably because they’ve forgotten you even exist.

Jo appears and reminds everyone they have one hour, ten minutes, five minutes, three minutes to go. She’s like an annoying snooze alarm when you’re a bit hung-over and just want to stay in bed. Bomber yells at Mel, Adam swears at Lisa and even Lloyd gets a bit frustrated. The men don’t seem to be handling this pressure very well do they? Snow White tell us they are a pair of winners but not in those shirts you’re not, then Carole tells Russell to get the table in and he says ok and she yells back “don’t argue with me” and Bomber is still pitching fits all over the place and it’s a bit stressful to actually watch these last few minutes. Then its all over, tools down, we’re done.

Everyone looks shattered apart from Lisa who looks fresh as a daisy and very relaxed. Next to her Adam is almost collapsing with exhaustion. There are hugs and kisses even from the Gappers and Team Bomb and Bomber says he’s let Mel down by not finishing the bathroom ceiling. No he’s let her down by acting like a jerk the past week. We’ve not seen much to endear us to Bomber.

Joe and Wendy arrive to judge and disappointingly Joe’s pants seem quite normal and boring. They start in the living room and its bright citrus colours with a strange feature wall that distracts from the fireplace. Joe agrees and then points out that the painting job is pretty rubbish. They head into the laundry and Joe is confused about what he is supposed to do with himself in the space between the pantry and the laundry. Anything you like Joe. Maddi and Lloyd have accidently left the protective covering on the joinery so Wendy helpfully pulls a bit off to make it look better.

Into Team Bomb’s zone and the bathroom is impressive but in the spare room TFWFH doors have been hacked off and propped up against the wall like some bizarre statement of hatred and its hard to believe Carly and Ryan will think that is an improvement. The judges think its awful and it is.

Into the master bedroom and Wendy absolutely adores it until Joe starts pointing out all the bits he hates, everything, so suddenly Wendy hates it too. The bathroom is good and they like the bath weapon. The living room gets a heaping dose of criticism – judges hate the artwork but not nearly as much as they hate the artwork in the entry. The study is unfinished and Joe has been pre-warned not to hate Nan’s painting so he loves it instead. The kitchen is great and both judges are impressed.

Back at House Rules headquarters the teams assemble for the scores and I miss some of the comments as I’m busy hating Russell’s shirt. There are a few sob stories from various contestants and Dwarves Drink! The Gappers says something about being too old to pay off their mortgage. The judges arrive and tell the teams they’ve done a great job which flies in the face of all the criticisms we’ve just witnessed from them.

Snow White: Loved the bed, hated the lighting, the WIR was wrong but the bathroom was great. 6 &6 and lucky we have Jo here to add that up for us – total score of 12

Team Bomb: Liked the bathroom tiles but no one can get past the wardrobe doors so 5&5

Maddi and Lloyd: Good furniture, feature wall is all wrong and not enough thought given to the day to day living in the laundry. Who lives day to day in the laundry? 4&5

Adam and Ditz: Flooring is a win but everything else is a fail and apparently they didn’t follow the house rules. 3&4 and the smile is very nearly wiped off Adam’s face.

The Cappers: Excellent kitchen, they totally nailed it, only a few small mistakes like staying married to each other and they get the top score of 7&7.

Several hours worth of ad breaks later (and thank you Peter A for pointing out that Mothers day is the reason for the over soak of perfume, jewellery and chocolate advertising) and were back for the home owners reveal.

Candy and Ryan arrive and Ryan is keeping his expectations low; he just wants it to be everything they’ve ever wanted.

Lots of Oh My God and they seem to be happy at first. They love the arty edgy laundry/pantry and the kitchen and the artwork in the kitchen. Candy loves mismatched chairs. It’s very now. They think the Cappers have nailed it but where is the concrete? Is it the bench top? And is that concrete or Caesar stone and what is the difference? Into the living room and Ryan loves the TV of course but hates the artwork and they hate the artwork in the entry too. Into the study and fortunately they love Nan’s artwork.

Into the master bedroom and they like (not love) it and sucked in Joe they like the light fitting. Bathroom is good but the bath doesn’t get the attention it was hoping for and the mirror allows for a good shot of Candy’s boobs but not much else. The other bathroom is also given a tick of approval and the risky tile feature wall is good. Then into the spare room and the moment we’ve all been waiting for and “Told ya they’d ruin it” Candy whines. But it’s not ruined Candy. It’s deconstructed. It’s very now.

Over to HR headquarters and C&R arrive and tell everyone they did a fantastic job.

Snow White: They really like the useful walk in robe, especially now that their beloved cupboard has been destroyed – 6

Team Bomb: Bathroom tiles are great, guest room is great. Beloved cupboard has been destroyed but still a good score of 7

Maddi and Lloyd: They loved the living room and laundry and no cupboards were destroyed so that’s a plus but the finishes were dodgy and 6

Adam and Ditz: Pretty much hated everything and they failed the house rules and 5

The Cappers: Absolutely loved it and wow big score – 9

So the Gappers are at the top of the leader board and they are so happy they actually show each other some affection and they have a surprise coming and their house is up next – is that the surprise? Adam and Lisa are at the bottom and they also have a surprise coming up which we wont find out until tomorrow night but we actually do find out thanks to the previews and also because we know what happened last season and yep they are camping out at the Cappers.



1 Peter A. { 05.06.14 at 11:43 am }

Annajjj, great recap and very entertaining. I get annoyed the way the judges talk it up and then score it down. Some of the finishes are just pathetic. Would love to know the budget for each area, this might explain some of the sub standard finishes.

2 brain dead dave { 05.06.14 at 11:55 am }

When I switched over and saw the orange wardrobe doors propped against a wall, I thought I was watching Hoarders.

The finishes were disappointing albeit realistic. It’s good that there’s no MKR esque pretending that the contestants plate up with seconds to spare.

Laughing because of the black and white bathtub, too. We were half right about the colour.

Thanks annajjj.

3 Shellbot { 05.06.14 at 11:59 am }

Is it just me or is that house now just a mish mash of 5 couples versions of ‘arty and edgy’. It’s not like any of them talk to plan out the house as a whole. Headache material with all the ‘different’ bright colours I think!

4 brain dead dave { 05.06.14 at 12:10 pm }

Exactly Shellbot. I don’t drink anymore but well recognise that spending a morning hung over in that house just could not be done. The “Wow” factor ie:

“Wow!.Get me the fuck out of here!”

All of those colours and patterns could actually be quite psychologically unsettling~unless you’re Willy Wonka

5 Smythe { 05.06.14 at 12:32 pm }

I am surprised that none of the couples hung neon signs. I could not believe that guest room with the orange cupboard doors just standing against the wall, the bricks substituting for a side table and that oversized clock on top of the bricks. I really wouldn’t describe the style as edgy and arty just a mish-mash of this and that with no continuity.

6 Smythe { 05.06.14 at 12:33 pm }

RR…did my post wind up in the spam folder? Message #1 posting too quickly. Tried to post again and received message#2 seems to be a duplicate. However, nothing was posted.

7 Smythe { 05.06.14 at 12:37 pm }

People prone to migraines and those who have good taste should NOT enter that house.

8 Reality Raver { 05.06.14 at 12:50 pm }

SMythe it is out of spam now!

9 jec { 05.06.14 at 12:59 pm }

When Maddi & Lloyd decided to keep the blue protective wrap on the pantry cupboards I said to my son that it would easily scratch off and peel back. So I laughed out loud when the judges noticed it was the protective wrap and Caroline Mc-whatsit started peeling it back! Protective wrap is not a decorating masterpiece.

I call shenanigans with the countdown timing! There was less than two hours to go when Russell was advised to cover up the gap between the splashback and window frame with “wrap-around aluminium” window frames. Lo and behold at reveal time these window frames were in place! How the hell did they get measured, made & fitted in less than two hours? If that team (which was heading for a win) was allowed to finish, then why couldn’t other unfinished areas be completed in time for the reveal??

I would be interested to know how this works, also who completes and changes the things that haven’t been finished or the house-owners do not like. Shoddy painting, ghastly entrance hall, bathroom ceiling … is that now Ryan & Candy’s job?

10 Reality Raver { 05.06.14 at 1:01 pm }

Agree Peter A would love to know the budgets. We did not see budgets last year either. Also I would love to know if there is any smoke and mirrors re: the kitchen. As on The Block they have to order weeks in advance (ok it is more high end) or do they just have an agreement with the kitchen company that this will be given priority so they get it done in three days.

11 Shellbot { 05.06.14 at 1:03 pm }

yeah the other thing that would have annoyed me was that they had a sizeable laundry but got stuck with a washer/dryer combo and those useless lockers (wtf) rather than two decent machines and some cabinets. I would love to know their budgets and if it changes depending on what areas you get and/or if it changes from house to house – surely this weeks house is going to cost just a little bit more than C&R’s house to make respectable :p

12 Gidgitvonlarue { 05.06.14 at 2:15 pm }

Another ripper write up!

Did you notice when blondie ripped that bit of blue protecting coating off messing up the look – when Candy & hubby go through the house AFTER the judges the protecting covering in the laundry was all fixed up like it had never been ripped! The show must have dashed out and bought more blue protective coating!!!

13 Gabby { 05.06.14 at 2:26 pm }

When we entered the living room my first thoughts were migraine room. What an awful room, made even worse by the paint work.
The laundry was a waste of valuable space, they should think themselves lucky they scored what they did.
I think they had a cheak telling the Brady’s they would have liked more space in their ensuite, after all they did give them a walkin robe which they didn’t have before.
It was stupid to place the mirror there, useless position.
Good point jec @ 9 about wrap around aluminium, I was wondering how on earth they had enough time to get such a good job done on that?
And who would have believed the Cappers were going to win?

Shellbot@ 11 it is a pity they do not tell us the budgets.
I think they should. As you say each house is going to be different. Looks like tonight is going to be a complete rebuild.

Lets hope they improve with each Reno because the first house ended up like a nightmare.

14 Colleen { 05.06.14 at 3:03 pm }

Serves them right for requesting “edgy and arty” and asking for a stupid laundry. The house design is just wrong, why would you want two separate living areas but only one proper bedroom and one teeny tiny second bedroom. The study should have been a study/spare bedroom combo.

I agree with RR the kitchen must be ready pre-made ones and the contestants just chose colour and appliances. They must have to only use flooring, tiles and fittings that are in stock, that really limits your designing capacity.

Unless of course it actually takes longer then 7 days…

15 annajjj { 05.06.14 at 3:22 pm }

Couldn’t agree more on the colours – I actually missed this episode last night as I was out with the girls so I watched it (while nursing a savage hangover) this morning. I could have done without the explosion of colour all over the screen….

16 Andrea { 05.06.14 at 3:45 pm }

I hated the whole renovation and I was surprised that the homeowners seemed to like it.
Too many colours, too impractical, and please, take that orange monstrosity of a wardrobe to the tip!
And get rid of the large clock on top of bricks, just awful.

17 Georgie { 05.06.14 at 5:11 pm }

jec #9 – I haven’t seen last nights ep yet but when I was reading your comment and I got to the bit “…Russell was advised to cover up the gap between…”‘ my jaw dropped. I kid you not, I thought the next words were going to be “his front teeth”. 😆

18 Hoj { 05.06.14 at 7:04 pm }

Annajjj I am living for these reviews – only problem is I’m struggling to take the show seriously now, the whole thing is a big piss-take and unfortunately hubby still thinks most of it is real.
Does anyone else think the Gappers are actually siblings posing as a couple to get (one of ) their mortgage(s) paid. for good. They have the exact same hair/ skin colouring?
Why do the women always drive? Actually scrap that I do know….
And I’ll swap Sydney harbour bridge/skyline shots for more Lloyd close ups any day – get out of the way Maddi!

19 Gabby { 05.06.14 at 8:03 pm }

Some people seem to have a whole lot to renovate and then one couple only have the ensuite and a walkin robe. Doesn’t seem equally divided to me, and there is another zone in the middle. Not well thought out.

20 Eliza { 05.07.14 at 2:16 am }

@Colleen – my thoughts exactly re the layout. I mentioned this in one of the other threads. The layout was impractical and ill-planned for what they want to be a family home.

The Cappers were deserving winners hands down with the pile of crud that poor house turned out to be. Don’t mean to be so harsh was it was an absolute shocker! The Cappers seem so far to have the best grasp on good taste and an eye for detail and design. What the heck was Lisa thinking when she bought that horrid piece of ‘art’ for the entry?! When even shopping in stores like Freedom where you can get some nice stuff, do they all manage to pick out the most horrid cushions you could find?

So I don’t rant on all night, most of all, I couldn’t believe the judging of the Bomber’s guest bedroom. It looked like a room that needed a make over after it was finished. The carpet was atrocious, the bed spread looked like they got it from the sale section at K-Mart, the clock was tacky, the wallpaper was really ugly and no one cared to mention the cheap Fantastic Furniture -esk cupboard thing plonked in the corner. I was confused.

If the rooms stay this bad, I am not sure I will make it through the season.

Thanks for the always entertaining re-cap, annajjj.

21 Eliza { 05.07.14 at 2:18 am }

RR, I think my comment has been eaten up. I tried to post it a couple of times but it’s not popping up. The last post was my edited one. Sorry for the hassle!

22 Georgie { 05.07.14 at 7:46 am }

I’m getting the impression that there is less money available for the renos this year. The results seem to be more of a makeover than a renovation – it all looks very cheap compared to last year. The first casualty of budget constraints is quality! 😐

23 Andrea { 05.07.14 at 7:59 am }

That’s what I thought too Georgie, I wasn’t impressed by the first reveal.
The second house looks like it will be a bit better, at least the decks will be done so the homeowners can sit there and look at the views.
Looks like the Tassie woman ( you know, the one with the 7 kids in case we forget ), will be really selfish tonight, definitely not a team player.

24 Georgie { 05.07.14 at 8:14 am }

I haven’t seen the reveal yet Andrea, but there just seems to be a problem with the teams stretching their budget beyond pre-pack, flat-pack and other cheap options. Maybe producers tightened the budget to increase the tension. If so they’ve cheapened their own product into the bargain.

25 Maz { 05.09.14 at 11:10 pm }

Just watched the encore. The horror, the horror. It was like the Reject Shop vomited up every single flat pack mingled with every discarded can of mis-tinted paint.

I don’t see the point of knocking out stud walls and re-plastering when you are not creating space. Epic failure on the part of the series architect.

26 Fijane { 05.12.14 at 8:02 am }

Obviously I have different taste to everyone else, because I loved the artwork/wall in the entry and hated everything else. To me, that had a warm South American feel and if the whole house had been done in those tones it would have been great.
I also noticed the lack of comment about the spare room junky cupboard.
The other thing that annoyed me was that Candy and Ryan had been so adamant about marking down if people didn’t do what they liked and then they raved about everything as if all their dreams had come true – would like to have seen a little more honesty.

27 Fijane { 05.12.14 at 8:08 am }

…and, forgot to comment on the tiles in the main bathroom. It just shows that everything comes back eventually. All over Australia people have been desperate to rid their 70’s bathrooms of tiles like these, but now anyone under 30yo is just discovering them, and raving about them being so ‘new’ and ‘edgy’!
I was waiting for someone to eventually describe them as ‘retro’, but it never happened. It is like five year-olds thinking that they invented Tip. Lol.