Guest Post: House Rules – The WA House Reveal
Thanks again Annajjj for the recap on what Carole and Russell thought of their house reno:
House reveal tonight and it looks like a good one. Despite her multitude of misgivings, the preview shows Carole in floods of joy and Gapper…well does anyone, least of all Carole, care about Gapper’s reaction?
A very dramatic start to this episode as it’s Judgement Day says Voice Over ominously and Lisa tells us she won’t survive another week in the tent. The hardest thing for me, admits Grant, is interpreting the 5 different house rules. Really G? That’s the toughest thing in your life at this point? Hard to believe.
First up and Team Bomb get bad news from Chester!, which they already knew, that they have a hole in their ceiling. Meanwhile Crush and Gosling have issues in the bedroom, which no one needs to know about but it’s more to do with the painting. Painting doesn’t thrill Candy at the best of times and now she flicks a bit more paint around in obvious disgust. We’re losing an uphill battle says Ryan flicking his metaphors around.
The Cappers pack up to come home and that was a quick week says Iggy cheerfully and no it bloody wasn’t snaps Carole. Iggy Gapper tells us his worst nightmare is that no one got the house rules right. My worst nightmare is being chased naked through the forest by Ramsay Snow with wild dogs attacking my face but then again I’m not married to stressy Carole.
Back at the house Bomb has decided to make a feature of his ceiling hole and Grant is installing what looks like hand-drawn penises wallpaper in the kitchen. Brooke tries to help by peeling off the backing paper and Grant tells her off so she assumes the arms folded position and declares that removable wallpaper is removable so it shouldn’t matter if she destroys it.
McGravy is back with a style tip for Lisa. Look at your pillows then turn away and spin back to check again and that is very like Coco Chanel’s tip for checking for over-accessorising McStealy. Mel is being a gun says Bomber and I’ve just realised Bomber looks quite a lot like Will Ferrell. There is last minute fixing up of rooms and carrying of furniture up the stupid driveway then Lisa is stressing about pillows, spin Lisa spin, and says she can’t work pillows to save her life and this woman can’t do much to save her own life. Appliances go in, Jo yells 5 minutes to go, Lisa thumps her pillows again and then suddenly that’s it. Pillows down everyone. We’re done.
Hugs all around as Mel tries to manouvre herself a bit closer to fireman Lloyd and we get a quick reminder of the week that was including Brooke’s gas leak and other assorted low-lights.
Teams depart and judges arrive and Joe is wearing an Italian-restaurant tablecloth shirt and what this guy doesn’t know about style isn’t worth knowing. Wendy and Joe walk into the kitchen and wow. Its a very big kitchen in a very small house and Wendy doesn’t think it is industrial chic but really industrial chic is anyone’s interpretation according to Grant. Meanwhile Joe says he is worried he may be sucked into the enormous rangehood…Joe thinks far too much about appliance suction. The butler’s pantry is a complete miss; there is no butler for starters and the deconstructed bed-head door is not industrial chic in anyone’s book.
Moving into the family room/alfresco dining and this is industrial chic so hooray. Joe wants to sit on the lounge but has to move about 7,000 cushions first. The deck is great but there is nothing stunning here says Joe. Down the hallway the laundry doors are the wrong red, it is so easy to get your reds wrong.
Heading into the master bedroom and we haven’t seen much of this room so far and its pretty good. Joe thinks the mirror is awesome, I think the bed looks too narrow and Wendy thinks the plywood bed head fails the vintage luxe theme. Everyone likes the vintage luxe chair. In the WIR there is more wallpaper, sucked in Gapper, and into the ensuite which is great and the bath is the hero of the dish declares Joe who has been visiting the MC set on his days off.
Lastly the guest bedroom and bathroom where Lisa parrots Grant and hopefully tells us the House Rules are open to interpretation but really they aren’t. Overall the judges like the guest room and the bathroom although people with big bottoms will struggle with the narrow shower seat which might discourage them and I’d have thought that would be a plus.
The judges meet up with the teams at HomeBase to deliver their verdicts.
Crush and Ryan Gosling: Need more cohesion (technical designer term) and the Big Red Car Door was a fail so 6 & 6. That makes a total of 12 Jo helpfully informs us.
Team Bomb: Too many cushions and they are advised to think about restraining orders or possibly just restraint. 7 & 6
Snow Whites: Not so much industrial chic as cottage farmhouse fail. I lean on the hotel remote and accidentally change to foxtel so miss the scores here. [Ed’s note: I think it was 4 & 4]
Adam and Lisa: I’m on the phone to reception asking how to change the channel back since all the instructions on the remote have been worn off in this crum-bum hotel so can anyone fill in the gaps? [Ed’s note: I think it was 7 & 7].
Maddi and Fireman Sam: I’m back just in time for the scores 8 & 8. Well done.
Now its time for the home owners and Carole can’t make it as far as the driveway before collapsing in shocked delighted amazement. Gapper gives her a supportive hug and this would be a bit cute if we didn’t already know these two. They enter the house and seem to really love every part of it. Very few criticisms apart from Carole getting annoyed that Gapper gets a whole drawer in the WIR to himself. And a top one too. What were teams thinking?
Back at Homebase Jo says it was a mixed bag of reactions but it seemed overwhelmingly positive to me. The Cappers arrive to give their scores.
Team Bomb: Cappers absolutely loved the living/dining, couldn’t possibly fault it and score is a 6. WT actual F? A measly 6??
Adam and Lisa: Again absolutely perfect, loved every bit and this must be a ten… no another pathetic 6.
Crush and Ryan Gosling: Bedroom was lovely but laundry doors were too big and going by previous history we should now see our first negative score but no its a 5.
Maddi and Firefighter: Fantastic effort, perfection plus and it’s an 8. Wonder what you have to do to score a 10 from Carole. Actually don’t even go there.
Snow Whites: Couldn’t fault anything except the bed head door and they get a 7.
Well that was disappointing. Shitty scores all around considering how much they apparently loved their reno. Are these two playing the game? Because if so they’ve just lost it.
We take a look at the overall leader board for this week plus the overall leader board for both weeks and much to everyone’s delight Snow White are camping next and Brooke is angry and threatens to leave but from the previews it is Candy who does a runner. Next up Adam and Lisa’s home.