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Guest Post: House Rules – The Vic Renovation Kicks Off And The Rules Change

A new reno week on House Rules begins and Annajjj lets us know what happens. Over to Annajjj:

Over to Melbourne this week and it’s Adam and Lisa’s house which is a 1960’s cottage style weatherboard. In the kitchen Adam is saying something but Lisa is wandering around with bulldog clips on her head so it’s hard to concentrate on him. Lisa loves her home but tells us it’s grimy and dirty and while most people would reach for the spray n wipe, Lisa goes the full free reno option.

Maddi and the Fireman (swoon) arrive, followed by the Cappers who are feeling re-energised after their earlier annihilation of the other teams and they are raring to go. Let’s hope you score 2’s this week Cappers. Snow White arrive and tell us there are 7 great reasons to Drink! and then all the teams have assembled to hear Adam’s last words. Incorporate my drums he pleads and Bomber grins knowingly but Adam means his actual drums Bomber.

Adam and Lisa leave and the remaining teams race inside to check out the house. It looks like Grandma’s house says Ryan and Bomber thinks the whole thing lacks style. And Bomber knows style. He has a kitchen vision and really hopes he gets the chance to share it. Zone time and there’s a catch (and a complete lack of consistency with the rules of this game). Maddi and the Fireman get to choose their own zone…and those of everyone else. Score!

They choose the Master Bedroom and ensuite and WIR for themselves and is this like their third WIR? Snow White are given the guest bedroom and laundry and they pretend to be delighted. The Cappers have the dining room, bathroom and deck and gee thanks says Carole sarcastically but she would have said this no matter what zone she got. Team Bomb get the kitchen and entry and Candy and the Gos get the living room and study.

We get straight into the House Rules –

Create a modern Show Stopper – well that’s not ambiguous at all.

Deliver a Wow Statement in every Room – everyone can definitely do that.

Give us Earthy tones and Pops of Pattern – will be misinterpreted into pops of colour

Glam it Up with Mirrors and Wallpaper and oh dear. Any predictions on what the teams will seize upon this week?

Make our bedroom a Moody Boudoir – no one knows what boudoir means. It’s possibly a French word for slut.

Don’t Try to Cram this into One All Encompassing House Rule Vision – except this isn’t one of the rules but it should be.

Now teams must decide what they want to keep and the rule here is that what they keep they must use but as we’ve seen that doesn’t mean ‘must be kept in original condition’. It’s time to retire to Rydges and the tent to ponder the House Rules and Maddi is delighted to discover that boudoir is French for female bedroom so it’s obvious Lisa wants a moody female bedroom. The mind boggles.

Snow White have a little row about the tent but it’s all smiles and raisin toast in the morning so I guess they sorted it out. Brooke will need all her energy today as here comes the soul-draining McNegative to demonstrate how Brooke is making it hard for guests to do a wee. She’s right thinks Snow White and Drink! for seven kids and Grant worries about a smelly indoor laundry and before we’ve even swallowed Drink! again. I should have bought more wine.

Team Bomb are struggling with walls everywhere and Mel asks can we measure through the walls with some sort of laser…Bomber rolls his eyes in disgust. Crush and Ryan start arguing but not as much as…

The Cappers! Good to see you gice, we’ve missed your particular brand of pain. Carole wants a separate loo as no one wants to shower where Iggy Pops. They end up compromising with a sectioned loo. Meanwhile Maddi and Fireman are marking out their territory watched closely by McDubious. The wow factor is their vanity and McFalse-Concern says it’s such a different concept and that’s about all she has to offer and how much are we paying this expert for her advice?

Now it’s over to Adam and Lisa to explain that Less Is More when it comes to mirrors and wallpaper and the like. Oh dear and why oh why do you assume for a minute that these people are capable of restraint? Exhibit A is Team Bomb in the kitchen explaining how they intend to mirror every available surface.

Demo starts and Carole gets right into this bit swinging her mallet with gusto. Bomber hates demolition day as he keeps losing his footing. Meanwhile Mel is kicking down walls and kicking out ceilings. She’s such a kick chick. Chester! appears to tell Teams Bomb and Snow White that their shared zone needs support holes dug and good for Grant as he gets straight on the task. Brooke stands there observing that Bomber and Mel aren’t doing any helping and it’s not fair.

Adam’s small porn stash is discovered in the ceiling and Gapper is beside himself with excitement. Settle petal. To distract him, Carole drags him off to the shops to look for something with the wow factor and let’s face it – wow isn’t going to be a hard reaction to pull from anyone. Wow that’s pretty bright, Wow what were they thinking, Wow you ruined my drum set…

Can we Drink! for Wow? Or will that leave us all paralytic?

At the end of demolition day Team Bomb discover they have stuffed up their kitchen measurement. They desperately try to milk a little drama out of this but a quick call to the supplier and it’s sorted. Move on.

Candy and Ryan are stressing about the drum set and how to incorporate it. Candy wants to shove it in the corner but Ryan thinks they should build a stage for Adam to perform on. They haven’t noticed it’s actually a practice drum kit so his audience might be left disappointed. It’s clean up time and everyone pitches in and was that Brooke pushing a wheelbarrow? Good for her.

Maddi is in a specialty shop trying to cobble together three house rules in her bedroom because The More The Better and she’s going for moody modern wow with a custom made bed-head. Mel, Candy and Brooke all go shopping together and that’s an interesting trio. Candy thinks she may have misjudged Brooke and for a brief normal moment I think I may have too. Then Brooke tells us she thinks Mel’s light fitting is gross but has told her it’s fantastic because she’s all about the strategy and I’m back to hating Brooke.

Back at the house Ryan thinks Gapper has moved his wall into Ryan’s space and Iggy is determined he’s not backing down over this one. He needs this space. Ryan does a Carole and nags a fair bit and naturally Iggy gives in. Grant finally finishes his hole and ribs Bomber a bit about his laziness and obviously these two get on quite well. Grant thinks he’s the funniest bloke on the planet, says Bomber. Well he’s definitely one of the most tolerant.

The final scenes include Iggy trying to graft hoses and, like all blokes over 45, thinks he’s a ‘bit of a MacGyver’ although he pronounces it McCryva. Maddi and Fireman are trying to squeeze more wows and pops of pattern in and the Snow Whites are also trying to smash several house rules together with their choice in tiles. Brooke thinks Lisa will love it and when this woman is acting normal she comes across as quite nice. Shame we don’t see it more often.

Iggy is struggling with the footings for his deck, he grabs the jack hammer then gets out the hole digging machine and finally brings out the big guns and attacks the ground with his little spade. Previews of the Candy meltdown and I’m hoping Shellbot is right and it’s a counter prank to Lloyd’s whole psychologist thing. Ryan is confiding in Lloyd and if this isn’t a prank then this is a really uncomfortable situation for Lloyd. Will he ‘fess up to Ryan? More House Rules tomorrow.

House Rules on SEVEN at 7.30pm Sunday to Wednesday.

22 comments

1 Veronicali { 05.14.14 at 9:07 am }

What is Carole thinking with her glass gas chamber toilet? And if a separate toilet is so vital for her, why wasn’t it one of her house Rules?
I agree with Grant about the impracticality of an internal laundry – who is designing the layout of these houses? This is a family home not an apartment, the laundry needs to be a good size with an external door – I noticed Adam & Lisa have a dog, where will the pet door go now? (Will we see 7 dwarf doors in Tassie reno week?)

2 Fiona { 05.14.14 at 10:49 am }

Yes these laundrys that are being done are seriously F***ed up. My laundry has a large sink, a fridge, the dog/cats bowls, kitty litter, all the brooms/mops, a separate toilet washing machine and a large cupboard where I store the laundry basket with all the dirty clothes before I get around to washing them. I think most importantly my laundry has a door to the backyard and the clothes line is right outside that door. I would hate HATE to have a laundry inside the middle of the fing house.

Did anybody else think the scene between Brooke and Candy at the lights shop was very awkward? It’s not like they were getting on like a house on fire. They were just doing some polite chit chat.

I found this post on the Facebook page:
I’d like to complain about Adam as seen on Monday night’s reveal. He was very obviously under the influence of having indulged in some weed. This was not good viewing at that time slot channel 7 – shame on you!

Anyone think that Adam was stoned? I do wonder if he likes to indulge, because his hoses was “missing” a lot of length.

3 brain dead dave { 05.14.14 at 10:56 am }

“Then Brooke tells us she thinks Mel’s light fitting is gross but has told her it’s fantastic because she’s all about the strategy and I’m back to hating Brooke.”

You’ve nailed that,annajjj. Exactly how I felt at that moment,when Brooke turned back into a shrew, blowing smoke up Mel about the light fitting. I thought the light fitting was hideous and that the judges will probably bag it. Perhaps Brooke turned feral because Mel had dragged her arse in the store~ after all this is a competition and we’ve got seven kids.

4 Smythe { 05.14.14 at 11:56 am }

Brooke is being portrayed as someone who is not to be trusted. She may try to fit in by going shopping w/ the girls but then it’s probably all part of her strategy so that she can win for the 7 children.
Why do they have to stay within the confines of the exterior walls for these renos? For some of these renos, it would be better if they could expand outward if there is enough land and it is permitted. JMHO

Veronicali..agree w/ you about the glass enclosure/wall for the toilet. Not necessary. Glass gas chamber….LOL

5 Diogenes { 05.14.14 at 12:14 pm }

I have an internal laundry as teh result of an addition done by the previos owner (it was an external-external laundy but they whack a ruddy great L shaped room around it) – It is a PITA – our smallest bedroom is going to converted to a WIR & ensuite, the bathroom to a bedroom, the kitchen to a bathroom and on of teh laundry walls will become the kitchen wall. (in essence we are moving all the rooms clockwise one room). Now if only I ghad been clever enough to put my name down for HR – Rules being

Ligh and airy
Beachy , but not cliched
Practical then beautiful
Consistentcy is king

6 Dawni { 05.14.14 at 1:51 pm }

Been a fan of RR for ages but this is my first time commenting. WOW… did not know that B & G had 7 children !!!!! And yes that is sarcasm. Sick to frigging death of hearing this mentioned. Does anything else think that Grant looks like the guy from Little Britain – David Walliams ? Please someone tell me they have thought the same thing.

7 jec { 05.14.14 at 2:45 pm }

My previous post seems to have disappeared. Oh well.

Just saw this on the Facebook House Rules page:
This week only in New Idea Magazine, popular House Rules contestant Mel reveals how she became a DIY mum before meeting partner Bomber. After dating a string of lousy men, Mel decided at the age of 30 to have a go at parenting alone – via sperm donation.
And she’s never regretted welcoming her daughter Abby, 7, into the world with the help of an anonymous donor. “Just to see her face and to see she looked like me was just overwhelming,” says the proud mum.

Nice to read about someone else’s offspring than the 7 dwarfs.

8 Andrea { 05.14.14 at 2:53 pm }

How many kids have they got again Jec? I can’t remember lol! And have they also been to 42 countries?

9 Shellbot { 05.14.14 at 3:19 pm }

Is this another house that has gone down in bedroom numbers cos it’s going to be 2 and a study…

Also, with the wall dispute between Ryan and Russell, do you think neither of them took into consideration the thickness of the wall post and that is why there is lost space? hmmmm…..

10 Gidgitvonlarue { 05.14.14 at 3:35 pm }

Not too worried about the laundry as I bet Lisa gets most of her clothes dry cleaned and he probably has to do his own washing (she might break a nail)
I am just loving Mel more and more. The woman is a machine.

11 Gabby { 05.14.14 at 4:27 pm }

Welcome to the site Dawni @6, hope you will stick around.
Yes he does look like David Williams from Little Britain, you hit the nail on the head!
Thanks jec for the story about Mel, wow, now that is one back story they have kept under wraps. I like it, and I like Mel, as you said Gidget, she is a machine and most of the time she does it with a big smile on her face. I think Mel and Bom are going to be my faves for the time being.
I am starting to get into HR now and enjoying it more so than the early days.

12 annajjj { 05.14.14 at 6:48 pm }

Diogenes spot on. Those would be my rules too. Hard to see how even this lot could stuff that up. Dawni you’re right. That’ll be his new nickname now. Can we also go with Stoner Adam?

13 WHY { 05.14.14 at 8:36 pm }

Didn’t Lisa mention she plans to have a family? Then why make it essentially a two bedroom home, along with an impractical apartment style laundry inside the study?!!

I agree totally with Veronicali.

Yes, I agree Grant is like David Walliams but I also can’t get Dom DeLuise (Burt Reynolds friend / comedian / actor) out of my head either. They speak in the same manner – go google.

14 Diogenes { 05.14.14 at 8:56 pm }

re my previous post – was marking year 11 exam papers at the time bit brain dead (both the papers & me) – so sorry ’bout the typos – also want to correct convert the bathroom to laundry not bedroom & my office becomes a bedroom and I get a study nook off the kitchen

I am nearly done with this show – the kids aren’t watching it (or the Voice it seems) and there are no characters I feel any sympathy/like for

15 Isabelle { 05.14.14 at 10:50 pm }

I look forward to these recaps everyday!
I’m so happy that RUSSELL is back! i missed him last week.

16 MizPouf { 05.14.14 at 10:59 pm }

Annajjj,
I actually watch HR just to better enjoy your recaps.
If you do professional piss-taking writing, please tell me where i can read it. If you don’t, you should.

17 Zhee { 05.14.14 at 11:08 pm }

Gnah, and my comments got eaten by zeh interwebs… Now I know how Eliza must feel all the time.

Anyways, welcome Dawni. :)

18 annajjj { 05.14.14 at 11:21 pm }

Thanks Mizpouf that’s really lovely to hear

19 Eliza { 05.15.14 at 1:55 am }

@Andrea #8.. at home here we forget how many kids B&G have constantly, so are thankful for the reminds.. 7 kids? πŸ˜‰

@Zhee, mine always get eaten up when it’s a nice, long rant about this show, too! P.S how are you going?

@Veronicali, WHY and others – the layouts of these houses have been frustrating me since the last series. Some of them are just plain stupid. I really hope there is some major reason that they cannot do some things within the time frame of the show.. otherwise these architects are just silly! Like C&R’s place, A&L say they want this to be a family home, but again the layout is impractical. I mean, they couldn’t really stay in 2 bedroom homes with more than one kid in the long run, maybe until they are 8-ish.

20 Dawni { 05.15.14 at 6:48 am }

Thanks for the welcome to this page. I have no idea why it has taken me so long to comment. Every day I look forward to reading recaps and all the comments. I am a Reality TV junkie. You name it and I will watch it. (except for The Voice). Love Thursday night cos it is Survivor and Amazing Race night. I love The Great British Bake Off too. Of course I am addicted to House Rules. Looking forward to reading todays recaps.

21 Fijane { 05.15.14 at 2:27 pm }

Dawni, I reckon Grant looks most like Kevin Harrington, who was Kevin in Seachange, and also in The Dish and Cliffy. It took me a while to work out who he reminded me of, but that is it. Check out Kevin Harrington on imdb or something.

22 Dawni { 05.15.14 at 2:39 pm }

Fijane, You are right. He does look like Kevin Harrington. IMDB is one of my favourite websites. I don’t know how many times a day I check things out on this site. I am now watching last nights Master Chef. I know from News.com there is one of the biggest stuff ups in the history of MC. I can see what is going to happen and who it is going to happen too…….