Guest Post: House Rules – The Vic Renovation Kicks Off And The Rules Change
A new reno week on House Rules begins and Annajjj lets us know what happens. Over to Annajjj:
Over to Melbourne this week and it’s Adam and Lisa’s house which is a 1960’s cottage style weatherboard. In the kitchen Adam is saying something but Lisa is wandering around with bulldog clips on her head so it’s hard to concentrate on him. Lisa loves her home but tells us it’s grimy and dirty and while most people would reach for the spray n wipe, Lisa goes the full free reno option.
Maddi and the Fireman (swoon) arrive, followed by the Cappers who are feeling re-energised after their earlier annihilation of the other teams and they are raring to go. Let’s hope you score 2’s this week Cappers. Snow White arrive and tell us there are 7 great reasons to Drink! and then all the teams have assembled to hear Adam’s last words. Incorporate my drums he pleads and Bomber grins knowingly but Adam means his actual drums Bomber.
Adam and Lisa leave and the remaining teams race inside to check out the house. It looks like Grandma’s house says Ryan and Bomber thinks the whole thing lacks style. And Bomber knows style. He has a kitchen vision and really hopes he gets the chance to share it. Zone time and there’s a catch (and a complete lack of consistency with the rules of this game). Maddi and the Fireman get to choose their own zone…and those of everyone else. Score!
They choose the Master Bedroom and ensuite and WIR for themselves and is this like their third WIR? Snow White are given the guest bedroom and laundry and they pretend to be delighted. The Cappers have the dining room, bathroom and deck and gee thanks says Carole sarcastically but she would have said this no matter what zone she got. Team Bomb get the kitchen and entry and Candy and the Gos get the living room and study.
We get straight into the House Rules –
Create a modern Show Stopper – well that’s not ambiguous at all.
Deliver a Wow Statement in every Room – everyone can definitely do that.
Give us Earthy tones and Pops of Pattern – will be misinterpreted into pops of colour
Glam it Up with Mirrors and Wallpaper and oh dear. Any predictions on what the teams will seize upon this week?
Make our bedroom a Moody Boudoir – no one knows what boudoir means. It’s possibly a French word for slut.
Don’t Try to Cram this into One All Encompassing House Rule Vision – except this isn’t one of the rules but it should be.
Now teams must decide what they want to keep and the rule here is that what they keep they must use but as we’ve seen that doesn’t mean ‘must be kept in original condition’. It’s time to retire to Rydges and the tent to ponder the House Rules and Maddi is delighted to discover that boudoir is French for female bedroom so it’s obvious Lisa wants a moody female bedroom. The mind boggles.
Snow White have a little row about the tent but it’s all smiles and raisin toast in the morning so I guess they sorted it out. Brooke will need all her energy today as here comes the soul-draining McNegative to demonstrate how Brooke is making it hard for guests to do a wee. She’s right thinks Snow White and Drink! for seven kids and Grant worries about a smelly indoor laundry and before we’ve even swallowed Drink! again. I should have bought more wine.
Team Bomb are struggling with walls everywhere and Mel asks can we measure through the walls with some sort of laser…Bomber rolls his eyes in disgust. Crush and Ryan start arguing but not as much as…
The Cappers! Good to see you gice, we’ve missed your particular brand of pain. Carole wants a separate loo as no one wants to shower where Iggy Pops. They end up compromising with a sectioned loo. Meanwhile Maddi and Fireman are marking out their territory watched closely by McDubious. The wow factor is their vanity and McFalse-Concern says it’s such a different concept and that’s about all she has to offer and how much are we paying this expert for her advice?
Now it’s over to Adam and Lisa to explain that Less Is More when it comes to mirrors and wallpaper and the like. Oh dear and why oh why do you assume for a minute that these people are capable of restraint? Exhibit A is Team Bomb in the kitchen explaining how they intend to mirror every available surface.
Demo starts and Carole gets right into this bit swinging her mallet with gusto. Bomber hates demolition day as he keeps losing his footing. Meanwhile Mel is kicking down walls and kicking out ceilings. She’s such a kick chick. Chester! appears to tell Teams Bomb and Snow White that their shared zone needs support holes dug and good for Grant as he gets straight on the task. Brooke stands there observing that Bomber and Mel aren’t doing any helping and it’s not fair.
Adam’s small porn stash is discovered in the ceiling and Gapper is beside himself with excitement. Settle petal. To distract him, Carole drags him off to the shops to look for something with the wow factor and let’s face it – wow isn’t going to be a hard reaction to pull from anyone. Wow that’s pretty bright, Wow what were they thinking, Wow you ruined my drum set…
Can we Drink! for Wow? Or will that leave us all paralytic?
At the end of demolition day Team Bomb discover they have stuffed up their kitchen measurement. They desperately try to milk a little drama out of this but a quick call to the supplier and it’s sorted. Move on.
Candy and Ryan are stressing about the drum set and how to incorporate it. Candy wants to shove it in the corner but Ryan thinks they should build a stage for Adam to perform on. They haven’t noticed it’s actually a practice drum kit so his audience might be left disappointed. It’s clean up time and everyone pitches in and was that Brooke pushing a wheelbarrow? Good for her.
Maddi is in a specialty shop trying to cobble together three house rules in her bedroom because The More The Better and she’s going for moody modern wow with a custom made bed-head. Mel, Candy and Brooke all go shopping together and that’s an interesting trio. Candy thinks she may have misjudged Brooke and for a brief normal moment I think I may have too. Then Brooke tells us she thinks Mel’s light fitting is gross but has told her it’s fantastic because she’s all about the strategy and I’m back to hating Brooke.
Back at the house Ryan thinks Gapper has moved his wall into Ryan’s space and Iggy is determined he’s not backing down over this one. He needs this space. Ryan does a Carole and nags a fair bit and naturally Iggy gives in. Grant finally finishes his hole and ribs Bomber a bit about his laziness and obviously these two get on quite well. Grant thinks he’s the funniest bloke on the planet, says Bomber. Well he’s definitely one of the most tolerant.
The final scenes include Iggy trying to graft hoses and, like all blokes over 45, thinks he’s a ‘bit of a MacGyver’ although he pronounces it McCryva. Maddi and Fireman are trying to squeeze more wows and pops of pattern in and the Snow Whites are also trying to smash several house rules together with their choice in tiles. Brooke thinks Lisa will love it and when this woman is acting normal she comes across as quite nice. Shame we don’t see it more often.
Iggy is struggling with the footings for his deck, he grabs the jack hammer then gets out the hole digging machine and finally brings out the big guns and attacks the ground with his little spade. Previews of the Candy meltdown and I’m hoping Shellbot is right and it’s a counter prank to Lloyd’s whole psychologist thing. Ryan is confiding in Lloyd and if this isn’t a prank then this is a really uncomfortable situation for Lloyd. Will he ‘fess up to Ryan? More House Rules tomorrow.
House Rules on SEVEN at 7.30pm Sunday to Wednesday.