Survivor Cagayan: Trish goes OFF
Survivor savant Gidit Von La Rue is back. Here is her take on what was a great episode. Over to you Gidgit:
So last week I missed my weekly Survivor review due to being a soup of Eurovision for four days. I still have the lowest scoring country, France, song in my head damn it (Moustache) and still shaking the glitter off my bogan track suit. I was committed! So now I’m back on the jury bench at tribal council and ready to pass my verdict. Oh and a refresher, Tash got booted last week when untrusty Cass changed her vote at the last moment. But Spencer is still in so I’m chuffed.
Chuffy chuffy chuffed chuffed!
So after Tasha Fasha has been voted out Spencer hits up Cass after tribal council as to why she swung back. The beautiful thing is I’m Not a Cop’s alliance is all start turning on each other once back at camp while Spencer just sits back and feeds the fire. So let me do a refresher on the LONG term game as in being in final three (which I’m Not a Cop is not thinking about because he’s thick). No one likes Tony as he’s fucked them all over. No one like Cass as she’s fucked them all over. Trish has been a coat tail rider. Woo has been a coat tail rider. Spencer has survived after being on the bottom NUMEROUS times but has survived and has NOT fucked anyone over. LAST person I would want to be sitting at the end is Spencer – and that is why I love him like I love my sleep in’s.
If he makes it to final three & wins – he’ll be the best player ever, even better than Boston Rob or Barney the Dinosaur (very limited viewed Survivor ep – men in mascot outfits)
Spencer says a very true thing after returning to camp ‘you could have just told me you were voting Tasha out and there was nothing I could do about it’. Yep – spot on. Why lie now? Yes it’s about deceiving people blah blah, but you have to think of who is on the jury and who they are going to vote for! Spencer has played a near perfect game, but if he doesn’t get immunity he is gonski plonski! No matter how I’m not a Cop’s alliance fight and lie and attack each other, Spencer was a goner.
Trish and Cass’ epic fight
Spencer “If I have any hope in this game it’s because I’m playing with people who understand it so little” Gold.
So Tony and Woo Woo are out in the boat (not fishing which they could easily do while talking but hey – who needs food right?) Tony naturally makes a pact with Woo to take him to final three – then literally the MINUTE he gets back on land he tells Cass he wants to take her and boot Woo. Way to think about that end game Tony! Way to go! So before land ahoy Woo tells Tony that naturally Spencer wanted to get rid of him – but so did Cass. Tony is such a delusional paranoid nut bag this sends him into a spin but he IS smart enough to know, better to be sitting next to horrible old Cass than super guy Woo at the end!
He be more super if he was doctor!
It’s reward challenge time and everyone has to roll in mud. Yep. Now this is MY kinda challenge! Oh, there’s running as well? I’m out. So they all have to roll in mud and get as much on their body as possible (and they can’t carry any with their hands) then run back to a bucket and scrape off as much as possible. I’m guessing me screaming USE YOUR HAIR finally was heard but all too late as the one guy with no hair – I’m not a cop – wins. The reward is pizza and Tony can invite one more person to share it with. He naturally picks Trish because she’s about to fade away to a pile of bones!
Trish after washing the mud off.
Back at camp Woo says he feels like Encino Man. Duuuuude you are closer than you think! Meanwhile a helicopter flies in fresh pizza and cold drinks and I know they are hungry but even Trish calls Tony out on the way he’s eating – you know, the chick who is starving! Of course Tony picking Trish only says to Cass and Spencer the ‘picking order’ – as for Woo – well he’s just there. Then Tony comes up with hair brain scheme with his two idols to lie to everyone and tell them the special ideal can be used final four (usually all idols have to be used by final five). Umm, yeah ok Tony. You should also tell them you have a cloak of invisibility so you can just vanish if you want to! See how that goes.
Famous last words from Tony ‘I want to stay in firm with Trish and Cass’ Hahaha. Let’s see how long THAT lasts! Straight off Tony confronts Cass and tell her that he’d heard that she was conspiring against him because Woo told him that. WHY TONY?? Why say anything? Just tell Cass ‘you on board – us 3 – final 3’. That’s all you have to say! Jesus – the Running Your Mouth Association just called and said shut the hell up! Then Tony promises Cass on his wife and children and next door neighbours dog that they are solid. So naturally Cass races (not sure if she did race – she was just kind of suddenly there!) to Woo who is playing with the fire and asks him why he told Tony about her plan. Woo looks like a deer caught in headlights, but is then made to actually THINK when Cass tells him that Tony swore on his wife & kids & postman that he’s going to take her. Hang on Woo thinks – Tony never swore on even his cat that he’d take me!
Tony’s cat never wanted to be a part of it anyway
SO naturally Tony walks over and Cass says ‘Woo says he didn’t say anything to you on the boat’ so what does Tony do? Oh just EVERYTHING WRONG. He’s like a rat in a trap that he set himself even planting the cheese! You can nearly see Tony literally melt down into a pool of stupid as he just gets himself into more and more ‘Tony’s web of shit’. So straight off Tony tells Cass she’s now out of his final three proving to Woo he DID make that pact with Cass. And even though Cass is the best person for Tony to sit next to if he makes final three – ah who cares about the end game when people decide who wins a million dollars – Cass is a big poo bum! So HUGE argument ensues and Spencer is like that person in the Monty Python ‘how not to be seen’ skit! Oh no – there he is. He’s not going to miss out on Tony talking Llama (seriously) I swear Spencer really should have been gone ages ago but due to how feeble Cass and Tony are – he has just had to sit back, don’t get involved and win immunity idols when he needs to! Although even with this huge fall out, if Spencer doesn’t win immunity idol I still think he’s a goner which would crush me! So now Tony’s pissed off Cass and now Woo (way to go!) and he’s now walked off letting Cass, Spencer and Woo all chit chat.
Finally it’s Immunity Idol challenge and if Spencer doesn’t win this I’m going to cry – I’m serious – like a damn baby! It’s quite a full on challenge – building ladders, untangling ropes, then figuring out a puzzle. Tony is in the lead pretty much the whole time GOD DAMMIT and my partner and I are screaming at the TV (honestly) Tony is killing it and gets to the final challenge of the puzzle left. MOVE IT SPENCER! ARUGH! Well turns out Tony’s way of solving the puzzle is just push pieces around like a mad person, actually making it HARDER to solve. Spencer finally gets to the damn puzzle and unlike Tony, studies the puzzle and works out there is really only a few moves to solve the puzzle. Tony actually just made it worse. What wait – Spencer wins immunity. (This is the daggy part where my partner and I actually high fived I shit you not) YIIPEEEE! Spencer is safe.
Whose a good boy – YOU ARE!
So now it’s scramble time. Bet Tony’s regretting being such a dick to Cass and Woo. Oh that’s right Tony doesn’t think he is – it’s THEIR fault not his. But oh gold – so now Trish literally RIPS into Cass like Cass just stole her last chocolate bar! The hilarious thing is Trish is ripping Cass over talking about getting rid of her, then Spencer steps in and say’s ‘I was too Trish but it’s not personal I was just…’ and straight off Trish is all ‘oh it’s ok Spencer – you are a nice boy blah blah – but Cass on the other hand! Grrrrrrrrrrr’. Spencer can seriously do no wrong. There is not one person that dislikes him either on the island or on the jury! Anyway back to the action. Trish has gone mental. Like someone get a straight jacket crazy. And Tony’s face is gold – he can hear his game just crumbling like a biscuit under a steam roller! So Tony does some scrambling and drags Trish off with Woo following, giving time for Spencer to work on Cass. They must get Woo. Meanwhile Tony is basically telling Woo ‘ok yes I WAS going to get rid of you, but now Cass has upset my sensitive nature so now she’s a goner – is that ok Woo?’ Really Tony? So now he promises to Woo on his wife, kids, dead dad, his ex teacher from his old high school, Beyonce…that he’s going to take Woo to final 3.
I can’t use this photo enough
Woo finally starts using that grey matter in his head and goes to Cass and Spencer and says ‘lets vote Trish’. Now remember Tony has two idols and it’s his last chance to use them both. That information will be relevant at Tribal Council. Tony see’s the 3 chatting so then grabs Woo to make a last ditch effort to get him back on side.
Tribal Council turns out to be, if not anything, weird! The four ‘alliance’ literally self implode while Spencer just sits back and soaks it all in. Now remember Tony has TWO immunity idols and it’s the last night he can use BOTH of them. So now Tony actually blurts out like a moron once again and literally reminds Woo that he was a goner before Cass pissed him off! Genius. Tony then re-performs his Llama impersonation causing everyone to crack up and this is all just weird. Even Jeff is trying not to crack up. Spencer compares it to being in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (I’m guessing Trish is Nurse Ratchet) and Woo compares them to a wacked out family. So now Tony needs Trish right? He certainly doesn’t want to be sitting next to Woo or Spencer so yeah, she’s vital to his game. Oh remember those two idols Tony has that he HAS to use tonight. Yeah he uses them alright. He puts one on himself and naturally gives the other one to Tri….Jeff? He actually says ‘I have this extra one I have no use for’. Amazing! Rather than save Trish with his EXTRA idol he hands it in to Jeff! Tony has done some dumb ass things this season but that was the all time stupidest thing he’s done. So naturally because Tony did not give his EXTRA idol to Trish, she goes. And now it’s Cass’s turn to do the stupidest thing as Trish leaves she actually gives Trish the finger, the bird, the middle digit – much to the obvious disgust of the jury. Why would you do that? It just makes you look like an ungrateful bitter bitch. You won. You are still there and Trish is gone. Why rub salt into the wound?
So it’s final four and if Spencer does not win this whole thing (and if he makes final 3 his chances are VERY good) I’m going to have the biggest tantrum! Well it’s a big two hour show next week and if Spencer doesn’t win I will take a photo of me having the tantrum! See you all next week folks!
It will look something like this but more childish!