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Guest Post: House Rules – Too Much Wallpaper And Bling?

Annajjj again nails it with a witty recap of House Rules:

It’s the last night before reveal; there are some interesting fashion choices going on and the teams are all in a wallpapering frenzy. I blame McBum-Steer who spent much of last week encouraging teams to follow the ‘vital’ house rules of pops of pattern and wallpaper so everyone is shoving patterned wallpaper everywhere.

Teams arrive and Carole is back in her clean white overalls today and then Drink! for the parents of seven in fetching orange and gingham. You can sort of see why the other teams are worried about Team Snow White’s style.

We’re told that Iggy Gapper is on his fourth build day on the little pointless deck. Carole is hassling him about going too slow. Can’t you do something? asks Gapper plaintively. Something other than nag me? No retorts Carole, asking you pointless questions is far more important than actually working.

Several muscle shots from the young guys then we crash into a shot of Bomber’s belly and he is critically surveying Mel’s work. Can’t you do something? asks Annajjj plaintively but no not yet. Bomber does pubbing, shopping and painting and that’s about it. Meanwhile Ryan is getting upset at people using his study for a storage area and then Grant does the weirdest facial expression I’ve ever seen. Does anyone else know what that was about?

Team Bomb go shopping together for a wow statement and find a huge frilly mirror which Lisa will love. Today Bomber is wearing a hoodie, a beanie, short shorts and boots, sucking casually on a lollypop and not endearing himself to anyone.

In the ensuite Fireman is 10 floor tiles short and sends Mads on a two hour round trip to get them. Where did they order these tiles from? Bendigo? Candy and Ryan swap awful wallpaper design ideas with Carole and how is anyone keeping a straight face at this point?

Bomber heads off shopping for cheap lingerie. He buys a nasty black nylon lace number and when he is done using it as a ‘tool of the trade’ he can give it to Mel as a present. Win win. Mel says it’s not really her style and she presents Bomber with a silk slip she bought for $7 from the Salvos and she didn’t spend half the day out avoiding work. I’m disliking Bomber more each episode.

Grant is wondering why he is the only one under the pump *cough*Brooke*cough* and his stonemasons have arrived. That’s a real job title? I did not know that. Elsewhere Candy has bought guitar and maracas accessories and Ryan Gosling is delighted. He’s quite good at maracas.

We get a shot of the awful flowery bathroom tiles which Grant hates and you’re not the only one Grant, then over to the equally horrible bottle caps wallpaper being installed. Gapper tries to help Carole by offering helpful hints while she tries to line it up. She gets stroppy and walks out but it’s all good, she returns and the wall is completed. I love it declares Carole but would she love it in her own home?

Night time and Drink! for several reasons to motivate Grant as he heads off to the tent leaving Bomber on his own. Bomber is doing the first bit of work we’ve seen this entire reno but he milks this by singing All By Myself which is what he should be if Mel ever Comes To Her Senses.

One day to go and Carole is in yellow overalls that she bought in bulk on eBay, then over to Adam and Lisa window shopping and if they had any idea what was happening back home they’d be shopping for wallpaper stripper. Mads and the Fireman are busy draping fabric in the bedroom like a strange sort of wedding marquee and Grant thinks it looks like a Halloween set. It’s a Boood-waah Grant.

The Snow Whites are out of money and Drink! again for lots of kids = no money. Back to the horrible bathroom tiles then we follow Carole to the horrible bottle top wallpaper then back to the horrible bathroom tiles. If Carole gets a low score this week I’ll bet she blames it on Gapper spending all his time on his tiny deck. Mel meets the mirror men then Jeff the security guard who is looking quite the part with his goatee and Blues Brother’s sunglasses.

Carole fails to carry her giant mirror and breaks the corner off. Unfortunately it is repairable and then mounted on the wall next to the bottle tops so we get double the reflected horror.

In case anyone has forgotten or just joined us, one of the House Rules is wallpaper every fucking surface that isn’t already mirrored or something like that. So Mad and Firey put wallpaper on the bedroom side tables, Brooke intends to wallpaper the guest room with nasty pops of green flowers and Ryandy are busy putting up their own horrible wallpaper. Ryan is pretty chuffed with his wallpapering skills; one thing Ryan doesn’t suffer from is a lack of self-confidence. He’s good at so many things he reminds us, including wallpapering, galvanising glaziers, plastering, acting, pranking…..he’s the Dick Van Dyke of home renovation.

Thank god for Mel. She takes one look at all the awful wallpaper going up everywhere and abandons her own plans for wallpapering. She goes with the easy removal option of a picture. I love Mel.

House reveal tomorrow night.

29 comments

1 Andrea { 05.19.14 at 11:28 am }

What’s with Bomber casually walking around shopping and sucking on a lollipop, doe he think it makes him look cute or funny. No, it just makes him look like a lazy idiot while Mel does all the work.
The deck is too small and since Russell spent 4 days on it, how can the inside of the house get done in time because all Carole does is nag at him.
The whole bit with the security guard, the silk slip, the tradie undies, just unneccessary and detracts from the job at hand.
This season is so disappointing compared to last years, they are not working as a team and the so called designer is not doing much to guide them in the right direction and the right flow of thr house.
Poor Adam and Lisa, what will they say when they see the mess?

2 all happening { 05.19.14 at 11:40 am }

Another fun recap thanks annajjj. I am glad I am not the only one wondering about Grant’s facial expression. WTF.
Saw the judges on Sunrise this morning and they say that teams now realize the need to work together to get a good flow through the house. Taken them long enough.

3 Veronicali { 05.19.14 at 11:52 am }

McSaboteur probably eggs them on to do a shocking job so they have something to do in the next round, when they return to re-do the most hated rooms.

It would be funny if here we all are bagging out their house, and Adam & Lisa actually love it – but somehow I don’t think so.

4 Smythe { 05.19.14 at 12:10 pm }

If Adam and Lisa love this renno then I highly question their tastes. The wallpaper is absolutely attrocious. Carol and Russell placing the mirror under the window makes no sense and just intensifies that horrid bottle top wallpaper. Wallpaper here, wallpaper there, wallpaper everywhere. AND all the mirrors. Is this a house of horrors? Then we have the draping of the white fabric in the boudoir bedroom which, as Annajjj has stated, would be considered by Grant a room for Halloween, a boood-wah. This house is definitely an excellent candidate for a Halloween House of Horrors. Every room has something else that will make you run away screaming. “The Old Lady” (as nicknamed by Lisa) has been turned into “The Deranged Lady”.

5 Danielle { 05.19.14 at 12:15 pm }

In the early promos we were given the impression that Lisa loved it (or at least on the walk in) and cried saying this was more than she could have imagined.
Now the new promos are showing Adam giggling and Lisa cyring for an unknown reason.
I didn’t watch much of this episode just the part with Brooke trying the buy $10 glue and being out of funds. Still no words what the budget is for each room. They must think that will confuse us.

6 Smythe { 05.19.14 at 12:18 pm }

It would be interesting to know that budget. They are buying a lot of flat packs which are generally much cheaper than non-flat pack furnishings and cabinets. They have done this w/ all of the houses so far.

7 Shellbot { 05.19.14 at 12:29 pm }

Didn’t watch last season but with the re-do rooms does the couple of each house pick their most hated room? And who does the re-do? I think it would be good if each couple gets to redo their own house and be judged on that, then at least there will be one zone that they like!

8 Erin { 05.19.14 at 12:38 pm }

Looking back on the rooms Adam and Lisa have created for others it wouldn’t surprise me if they actually liked all the wallpaper and mirrors etc!!

Of course they probably haven’t thought about the fact that asking for lots of wallpaper means expensive, more time consuming to fix. At least if you don’t like the wall colour or its not a good job, its much easier to fix.

Also I think when teams hear wallpaper, they immediately think loud crazy feature wall…. why haven’t any of them thought of using a neutral colour with a bit of texture?

9 Agent 86 { 05.19.14 at 12:40 pm }

Thanks Annajjj.

I’m looking forward to the reveal tonight. It’s cruel, but I hope Adam and Lisa echo most commentators’ thoughts and hate a lot of the design elements. If the teams can supposedly agree on some elements, like the flooring, then would it really be that hard for them to choose either matching or at least complimentary wallpaper or wall colours?

I also agree that the “designer” isn’t helping this. The boudoir almost looked like it was coming together well, even with the bizarre exposed sink, but thanks to the “designer” they now have random bits of material stapled into their walls and ceiling and wallpaper applied to otherwise perfectly satisfactory furniture.

And I agree with everyone else about Mel. It might just be the editing, but she appears to work her butt off with little help from her partner.

Finally, with all the foolishness this week, including the “break-up”, Bomber’s shopping trip for lingerie, Snow White’s extended shopping trip for glue (even though she would have checked her account balance on her phone before leaving), Mel’s hire of a security guard for a mirror, etc it really appears that there wasn’t enough actual “renovating” to do. If that was the case, then maybe they needed to give teams another area to work on or a lower budget so that they had to do more work themselves.

10 Duane { 05.19.14 at 12:40 pm }

Why is the budget a secret? Did anyone from last season reveal what their budgets were? According to the preview Brad & Lisa’s has some of the best and worst stuff that the judges have seen. Can’t wait.

11 kess { 05.19.14 at 12:41 pm }

Give Mel her own show she is aweseome.

I flip between this and the Voice.
Last year HR lured me away from the Voice.
This year Voice has won me – and I only watch bits of this, mainly on repeat.
This reveal will be worth watching though, the horror show…

12 annajjj { 05.19.14 at 12:53 pm }

We should definitely get told what the budgets are. More of that, more actual renovating and much less of the manufactured drama and ‘pranks’ would be nice. Also as someone else pointed out less time spent in ‘coming up next’ and ‘previously on house rules’….

13 Colleen { 05.19.14 at 1:02 pm }

My interpretation of that very strange look from Grant was that he had a sudden idea “if I block them they can’t finish”, something like that.

I also think there may have been an editing out of time error, Bomber gave in too easily to Grants request for wall paper paste, I think that Grant didn’t ask him until after Bomber and Mel scrapped their wallpaper.

Lets hope Carole and Russel get the tent. I think Bomber and Mels house will be next.

14 Peter A. { 05.19.14 at 1:12 pm }

Colleen , Carol and Russell have already had their house renovated.

15 Raida { 05.19.14 at 1:18 pm }

I don’t hate Bomber, for the simple reason that there’s hours upon hours of footage of each person that we don’t see.
We saw him working hard first week, the only reason he didn’t second week was injury and illness. second week gave us: Bomber Man Who Shops Successfully.
that makes sense if Mel’s better at running things and Bomber’s good (not necessarily fast) at shopping for them to be in this setup for this reno. the fact is the shops seem to be a bit of a drive away so I expect the shopper to be gone for longer than 1st week.
showing Bomber chuffing about not working is most probably to get viewers to say boo! hiss! Bomber sucks! more than Mel literally doing the physical work. he was there the first day getting demolition and measuring done, but he may well be getting too used to driving about shopping and not realising the impact he’s having and thinking about these things… we’ll never know

I think that their use of the designer this season is less useful than last season, we’d all much rather see her say more of the stuff along the lines of “This won’t work” and “You need to balance this with that for the bathroom to not feel cramped” and less just asking contestants if that’s what they’re really going to do and telling them to WOW judges. (couch, more elements, etc)

I don’t understand the confusion with the rules this reno:
modern = style.
showstopper = impressive. (goes perfectly with modern)
earth tones = colour scheme. (doesn’t mean all chocolate or coffee browns, could easily include sand)
moody boooooodwah = complete bedroom styling.
pops of pattern & wallpaper & mirrors = what to put in the rooms for centerpieces and accents.

HOW is that hard to follow? unless, y’know, they’re limited in their options of shops… and they are… but even then – is it so hard to make something look clean and sleek and awesome in earth tones with nice large mirrors where it’s logical, and earth-toned patterning on specific areas?
seriously?

16 Shellbot { 05.19.14 at 1:27 pm }

It’s definitely the wallpaper that has got them unstuck Raida (excuse the pun) because they seem to be unaware that there are some really nice, modern *understated* wallpapers out there and then use your soft furnishings for your pops of pattern (read: easily replaceable if disliked)

In fact I would say that ‘understated’ and ‘modern’ is not in this years vocabulary, except for Mel because she’s awesome and she gets it :p

17 Gidgitvonlarue { 05.19.14 at 3:13 pm }

I cheered when loveable Mel opted to NOT put up gordy fucking wallpaper because it would be too much (sadly it already IS too much through the house) I can’t wait for tonight. Agreed if Lisa loves it I question her taste big time. The whole house looks like it’s been decorated by a bi polar clown!

18 Raida { 05.19.14 at 3:38 pm }

I’ll readily admit that what I wanted from the Carole & Russell reveal was a “What the hell is this?!” Kitchen reveal – so hopefully this reno will give me two-houses worth! :]
And I hope, for such a reveal, that the owners actually point at things and say “how is that modern?” and “we told them what colour scheme to use, how did they en dup doing this?”
legitimate straightforward complaints!!!

19 Raida { 05.19.14 at 4:11 pm }

I thought maybe I was being too hard on them, so I typed in ‘modern earthy’ to see what kinds of hideously-confusing crap I could find:
https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/155352161/lumbar-pillow-cushion-natural-chenille?ref=sr_gallery_29&ga_search_query=modern+earthy&ga_ship_to=AU&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

well damn, it’s even fckn patterned

20 Jaycee47 { 05.19.14 at 4:53 pm }

Peter A @ 14….exactly what were you trying to say? Colleen said she hoped Carole and Russell would be in the tent….we know they have had their house renovated! Where are you coming from?

21 Fijane { 05.19.14 at 5:25 pm }

It feels like they have deliberately chosen the worst wallpaper they could find. My all-time favourite worst is the brown and yellow from Brooke and Grant. Compared to that, I quite like the bathroom tiles – at least they have gentle earthy colours – it will be hard for the owners to score if they like the bathroom and hate the lounge with the bottletops.

22 Ali { 05.19.14 at 5:55 pm }

1. If I was on House Rules, the first rule of Fight Club is: NO WALLPAPER!

2. I would not be taking decorating advice from a man sucking on a lollipop.

3. Adam Goodes must be exhausted. Not only is he renovating on House Rules with his partner Lisa, but he is simultaneously playing for the Sydney Swans. I would’ve thought a double Brownlow Medallist could have afforded a proper house, but maybe Buddy Franklin’s pay has sucked up all the salary cap.

23 Gabby { 05.19.14 at 7:20 pm }

Not long to go now, I can’t wait.
I really do hope they let rip and tell it like it is if they don’t like it and don’t pretend to be in love with everything. Then again if they don’t like most of the house like most of us don’t, how could you possibly pretend to like it, what a hard job that would be.
I am with you Andrea regarding the size of the deck, it is so small. They had two good size decks built on their house, you think they would do the right thing by this lot of home owners.
When Carole picked the bottle top wallpaper in the hotel I thought she was joking, could not believe it when she put it up. I hope she loses this week.

24 brain dead dave { 05.19.14 at 7:32 pm }

I’m expecting Lisa’s promo tears to be the opposite of joy when she sees what’s happened. They’ll wish they’d never mentioned “wallpaper”.

25 annajjj { 05.19.14 at 7:45 pm }

bdd agree with you but you never know…none of these people have much taste

26 brain dead dave { 05.19.14 at 7:50 pm }

Lisa will turn from Goddess to Godzilla is my punt. It hasn’t started here yet.

27 annie { 05.19.14 at 9:19 pm }

Out of 3,000 people trying to win a place in the competition Carol & Russell should not be on the show, it is meant for battlers not multi home owners who earn money from flipping houses. We will reconsider watching the show, we renovate & flip houses to earn money but would never expect to be earning money off other couples hard work. Shame on them

28 Anonymous { 05.19.14 at 10:03 pm }

annie- where has it bee said that they are multi-home owners?

29 Kath { 05.22.14 at 4:03 pm }

Everywhere. And they are. But it’s fine. The point of the show is not to be for battlers, it’s to make good telly. (Ha!) And that means manufacturing drama over handing over your house keys to someone else; that’s the only premise I was aware of.