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Guest Post: House Rules – The Victorian Home Reveal

Thanks Annajjj for keeping us up to date on the House Rules shenanigans. Over to you:

It’s Judgement Day! Repent your sins and then join us at Adam and Lisa’s renovation reveal. Tonight we finally get to see if the owners are actually shedding ‘OMG I’m so happy’ tears or ‘WTF this is a living nightmare’ tears.

Smiley Adam and Lisa appear on screen to remind us that they left 5 very unspecific house rules and then head for home envisioning a big warm open inviting space where they can raise a family. How do you feel about lots of bits of mirrored wallpaper gice?

Jo arrives at the house and questions Ryan about the various conflicting wallpapers. Oh well every room in the house was always going to clash says Ryan cheerfully. He has a little plaster pimple on his jaw and Candy has a matching one on her nose except no that’s a piercing.

Bomber is complaining (again) that he hasn’t eaten for 12 days, hasn’t peed for 9, but no one cares Bomber. Manage your own body buddy. A final shot of the awful Snow White wallpaper and Capper bathroom tiles and Jo is struggling with the weird little gas chamber (thanks Veronicalli) toilet concept.

The final frantic hours and minutes where everyone tells us they have a million jobs left to do and can’t possibly finish and Ryan’s ego tells us he has superhuman strength. The Cappers throw some glass onto the dining room table, then five minutes to go; sweaty Ryan and panicky Bomber, time’s up, step away from the drum set.

Ryan is convinced he will win this week because he pretty much IS Superman and Mads thinks the house looks amazing but has she been in the other rooms yet?

The teams clear out and Joe and Wendy arrive and they open the front door (which is identical to the last two front doors) and the wow countdown begins. The entrance is great and they both love the sideboard and the mirror and the security guard. Into the kitchen and wow1 for Joe who likes the bench design and big fridge. He doesn’t rate the pantry but Wendy does.

Into the living room and Wendy likes the fireplace but Joe doesn’t and see how this ‘taste’ thing is so bloody individual? One mans dream design is another man’s bottle-cap wallpaper. Into the study which has a bizarrely narrow doorway and you can just tell Joe badly wants to take a seat and bash on a cymbal or two. Candy’s poor painting efforts are noticed and criticised.

Into the bathroom and Wow2 but it’s not a good wow. The judges are stumped for a bit, then decide the best thing is to ignore the elephant tiles in the room and focus on the bizarreness of the semi-private loo and narrow shower. The dining room is cold and Wendy doesn’t think the wallpaper works. Over to the deck and if it were about 4 times bigger this would be a great area.

Into the laundry cupboard which is deemed fine but not exciting and into the guest room which is better than I’d imagined but Joe thinks it is dowdy. Finally into the mooody boood-wah and wow3 but again not in a good way and Wendy thinks it looks like a circus tent. The bed-head, ensuite tiles and feature wall are great and Joe gets very excited by the vanity feature wall in the middle. There are two journeys I can take he exclaims sounding a bit drunk. Wendy is doubtful. If I’m using the loo, she says (elegantly crossing her legs in an attempt to look nothing like she is using the loo) people on the street can see me. Joe is slightly perturbed by the lack of mirrors in the WIR but look around Joe. There are about a hundred dining/hallway/pantry mirrors you can use.

Teams arrive at Home Base or whatever they’re calling this set and Jo greets them. Judges arrive and overall they are impressed as this reno contains the best, but also the worst, we’ve ever seen.

Team Bomb: Entry was good, kitchen great, 7&8 and there’s your wow!

Mad Firey’s: Wow bedroom but not a good wow. The vanity worked but, and it’s a big butt, sitting on the throne and being watched by the neighbours is not on. 7 and ad break with a ‘bonus extra’ of A&L saying they’d love to be mortgage free and retire early. Wouldn’t we all? But some of us are now working until we’re 70 and we’re back & 8.

Snow White: Stripes are out declares Wendy and Brooke is furious. Actually Wendy, she GOOGLED and stripes are DEFINITELY IN. So there. Take more risks advises Joe and Brooke gives him her best cats-bum mouth and 5 & 6 and ouch.

Ryandy: The bad paintwork is briefly mentioned and 7&6

Cappers: Here’s what I’ve been waiting for and there are no earthy tones which confuses Gapper. What does this mean? he wonders. Carole sets him straight; we didn’t use enough green she decides. The horrible tiles aren’t calming and the gas chamber toilet looks like a fish bowl. Carole is outraged. Sure you can see the silhouette of people taking a dump but it’s not like you can see their actual private parts! Scores and please oh please oh please and yes! 5&5

Lisa and Adam Goodes arrive and are oh wow-ing before they’ve even opened the front door. For someone who presents herself immaculately all the time it’s surprising Lisa hasn’t heard of waterproof mascara. They love the entrance and Team Bomb beam. The kitchen is great and they love the giant fridge and the pantry. Ryan and Candy have nailed the wallpaper and so far the homeowners love it to bits.

Not a fan of the green in the study and the crappy paint job is noticed. The bottle-top wallpaper makes Adam smile and he likes the lights in the deck. So do I but it is still too small for all that effort. Into the bathroom and hooley dooley wowee with a slap in the face from the tile wall. Lisa decides she likes it but isn’t as impressed with the laundry and doesn’t like the green. Neither of them like the guest room wallpaper.

Finally the boood-wah and immediately all the testosterone is sucked out of Adam by the too girly bedspread and white drapery. Back at Home base they get emotional and overall are very happy with the results.

Mads and Fireman: Adam Goodes thinks the whole room is a bit too feminine for a football player and he’ll have difficulty performing in there. Does love the ensuite though. Score of 7

Crush and Gos: Loved the living room and study although the painting was poor. Score 6

Snow Whites score a 5 for their guest room/laundry and Brooke is annoyed that they were only judged on their output not their effort. Perhaps you were scored on your effort Brooke.

Cappers: Adam agrees with the rest of us that the bathroom tiles and dining wallpaper are horrible although Lisa pretends to like them. Score – 6

Team Bomb: The entry was great and Adam loved…the coffee machine? Basically if you are renovating for the Adam/Lisas or Carly/Leightons or Candy/Ryans of this world and you buy big BBQs, enormous TVs or luxury coffee makers you are pretty much guaranteed to impress. Score of 8 which puts them up the top and the Cappers and Snow Whites tie for bottom. Hooray!

We are shown the overall leaderboard which is a bit stupid as some of the teams have only been scored twice so far and others three times, then it’s off to Tasmania for the next reno so stock up on alcohol, and hands up if you’re delighted with the prospect of the Cappers camping!


1 Gabby { 05.20.14 at 9:13 am }

Well what a surprise that turned out to be, once again we were led astray by the previews but then again we were guided by our own eyes and most of us didn’t like what we saw.
I am so pleased Carole came last even if it was with Brooke and hubby. See the look on Brooke’s face, if looks could kill. She wouldn’t admit to it not being right.
What about the deck, it was sooooo small, I would have been disappointed with that. You couldn’t even have the doors open and fit a chair there. They could have easily made it bigger. The stair case went out further.
I am pleased they didn’t like the bottle top wallpaper and said so in the end.
I don’t think the main bedroom and ensuite should have got the same mark as kitchen, because they found more wrong with that than kitchen.
Hated how toilet in ensuite could be seen from the street, let alone everywhere else.
What about in the kitchen they would have preferred a larger cook top!
Everyone these days want the best. There was nothing wrong with that cook top.
I liked the kitchen, I did not like the mirrored pantry doors though. Just as well Adam and Lisa did. Mel and Bom did a good job on entry as well.
I did love the living room, that was probably my favourite.
Hated the bathroom and deck.
Spare room neither here nor there.
I am happy for Adam and Lisa, I am so pleased they loved it.

2 Agent 86 { 05.20.14 at 9:58 am }

Thanks Annajjj.

I was pretty surprised by some of the comments and the scores. There were some pretty major issues which seemed to be glossed over in the scoring, including the complete lack of visual or acoustic privacy in the ensuite. That will potentially cost thousands to rectify (perhaps by installing some doors), whereas the striped linen in the spare bedroom can be easily changed (and even the minimal amount of wallpaper could be somewhat easily removed).

I don’t like Snow White and while their laundry and spare bedroom was a bit nanna-ish, they did comply with the rules and their space was simple and functional. I’m not sure why they did so poorly. It will be much easier to fix the spare bedroom than it will be to fix the study, the main bedroom, the ensuite, the WIR, the main bathroom and the dining room.

Overall, I think the two Ken and Barbie teams should have been scored lower and Snow White should have scored a little higher. Carole and Capper were scored fairly and I don’t know how they could be surprised at the result. Every one of their three zones had a glaring problem, whether it was the wallpaper, the tiles and translucent toilet or the impractical “deck”.

It will be interesting to see how much “building” the teams do for Snow White’s extension. If they struggle to knock down a few walls, plaster and paint in a week then how on Earth will they cope with a knock down and what looks like a significant extension in a week?

3 all happening { 05.20.14 at 10:12 am }

I mentioned the size of the deck early in the week and since then I have found out that the house has to have the same ‘foot print” as before. That means they are not allowed to increase size.
This brings up the question how you do an extension without changing the foot print …..UP???….or are they now changing the rules this week?

4 Agent 86 { 05.20.14 at 10:40 am }

@ all happening

Where did you read/hear that? I’m interested in learning more about the “behind the scenes” rules as it may help to explain some of the odd decisions, like the tiny deck.

Personally, if they had to keep the same “foot print”, I would have preferred a larger bathroom (with a truly separate toilet) and a larger spare bedroom or study. The deck is really a waste of space, other than providing Adam with a fancy entry/exit.

5 Veronicali { 05.20.14 at 10:48 am }

Would Adam & Lisa want their pricey clothes housed in essentially the same area as the shower and toilet? The addition of sliding doors would give privacy from bedroom and street but not solve the problem of poo fumes and steam taking one of Joe’s journeys into the WIR.

Carole spoke very posh ladylike when she talked about not having to see Gapper’s private bits in the cubicle loo. Gapper knows what his first job on their second house will be – gas chamber bogs for main and ensuite!

Well well well, Team Tassie really are the most deserving with their many dwarves scoring them a reno and extension. Hope the little girl gets her own bedroom/refuge from all those stinky boys!

6 daisy { 05.20.14 at 11:11 am }

I saw some of last (Mon) night’s show. A dining room with bottle top wall paper and a melee of other warring features, then a pokey patio with a bad choice of walling; glass. Going to look hideous when it’s not cleaned often.
I saw a horrible bedroom and I think lots of black something.

This show looks like it is to decor what MKR is to food.

Is it always that bad?

7 Colleen { 05.20.14 at 11:28 am }

Remember these are the same people as Better Homes and Gardens who paint lovely pine furniture black and think it’s OK to put all kinds of soft furnishings in the middle of a backyard.

The scoring is just crazy, how can Mel and Bomber get the same as Maddi and Lloyd when the main bedroom had hideous ceiling curtains and a bad ensuite and the kitchen was great.

8 Fijane { 05.20.14 at 11:38 am }

Once again disappointed by the owners being too nice about their comments.However, I’ve just realised that the others are shown their comments in the house as well as the scoring comments, so maybe it is smart to be vaguely appreciative?
Apart from the wallpaper (which I can understand some people might like), I thought the living room was beautiful and should have received the highest score. Liked the kitchen and entry. I had the opposite view in the main bedroom – absolutely hated the wall colour (so dingy) but liked the canopy and bedding – but way too feminine.
G and B should have stood their ground and done a proper laundry, and likewise Carole should have held out for the separate toilet. Both suffered greatly with the compromise. Cannot understand the impractical layout of the rooms.

9 Smythe { 05.20.14 at 12:16 pm }

The only rooms I really liked were the living room, entry and kitchen (except for the mirrored pantry doors and the small stovetop). I was a bit surprised that Ryan and Candy scored higher than the Bradys. Their living room was great BUT there were so many flaws in the study. I also don’t know how Barbie & Ken were scored the same as Mel & Bomber w/ that horrid ghostly booed-wah ceiling, lack of privacy in the bathroom and limited storage area in the WIR. Carol & Russell deserved to be on the bottom.

10 Andrea { 05.20.14 at 12:23 pm }

Have to agree Fijane, I would definitely want the separate toilet, and a proper laundry, not something squashed into a cupboard.
I didn’t think The guest bedroom was n’t all that bad, it was neat and practical,unlike the totally feminine looking main bedroom. All that material on the ceiling, imagine all the dust and insects gathering on there, very hard to clean.
The bottle cap wallpaper just has to go asap, its hideous, as is the mismatched bathroom tiles.
It looks like the Tassie couple get the best and most expensive reno with practically a whole new house built. Wonder if that’s in the budget?
I read in New Idea that Judge Joe is married with two kids and one on the way and he lives above his business so doesn’t actually live in a house at the moment, but says when the third child arrives they will think about moving as they will need more room.

11 Aubergine { 05.20.14 at 12:55 pm }

Another brilliantly hilarious recap, Annajjj. Jeez, how busy, bling-worthy and OTT is the inside of the house with all that hideously contrasting wallpaper? I got a headache just watching it last night. But I reckon both Adam and Lisa will be thrilled there are so many mirrors in their new abode.

12 Gidgitvonlarue { 05.20.14 at 1:54 pm }

Yet AGAIN Ryan let Candy paint (guess she can’t do anything else – and she can’t do this). Jesus, look up Youtube on how paint. There’s this stuff called painters tape, cutting in, primer coat etc. This is now the 3rd time she’s messed up the painting job like a drunk seven year old – and sorry, having done renovations. Wall goes up, PAINT – I mean it’s literally the second fucking thing you do – even before the floor goes in! THEN skirting board etc goes on and the rest. Why are people painting right at the end – on the last day – in the last hour? I’ve seen it on The Block as well at times.

I’m thinking after Adam and Lisa have actually got over the shock of pretty much a brand new house and have live with many of those things they’ll be changing them stat (bathroom tiles, bottlecap wallpaper, flouncy girlie crap on the bedroom ceiling, inclosed loo etc)

13 daisy { 05.20.14 at 2:33 pm }

Thanks, Colleen. That’s what it reminds me of; diy that looks like it was done by a uni student….and not one studying vis art.

14 Reality Raver { 05.20.14 at 2:46 pm }

Gidgit – Can you and the Colonel please apply for The Block so we can at least have one couple that is not bland?

15 Smythe { 05.20.14 at 2:56 pm }

Adam and Lisa should apply for The Block. Maybe they can win enough money to renovate their wallpapered and mirrored disaster of a house. :-)

The teams forgot to put wallpaper and mirrors on the ceilings. Mirror on the ceiling in the booed-wah bedroom would have been more appropriate than the white fabric.

16 Gidgitvonlarue { 05.20.14 at 3:03 pm }

RR – haha – sadly Colonel isn’t ‘mate’ ‘bloke’ enough to qualify. He’s too I.T – not enough ‘beer in hand in stubbie shorts’. Plus I’m not thin enough! (maybe we should apply for MKR tho!)

17 daisy { 05.20.14 at 3:04 pm }

With the professor and Maryanne hook?

18 techhater { 05.20.14 at 3:52 pm }

Has anyone seen Carly and Leighton on the Subway ads?
(Apologies if this has already been discussed. We only watch the reveal live, so not up with everyone’s comments)

Anywho, I thought she was with another bloke as the bleached blonde is gone and now his hair is brown.

I also laugh that we even get Subway ads because the nearest one is well over 600k’s away.

19 twiglet { 05.20.14 at 4:32 pm }

Oh so entertaining the comments on here. Glad others felt the same as me about the odd scoring etc, as well as practicality. I love the idea of a floaty chiffony ceiling but to clean it would be HELL. Create your own wildlife environment up there. Be more than one thing creeping over the bed at night ha ha. The bathroom tiles would frustrate me as I’d want to organise a pattern from them and who on earth decides what rooms go where?. The excuse of a laundry in the middle of the house between the kitchen and entrance? Lugging all those future baby nappies out the back through all those rooms – no thanks. Baby comes, stage goes….. Still it gives me much pleasure to watch people with a lot more money at their fingertips still stuff up more than we do when we attempt our paltry renovations.

20 twiglet { 05.20.14 at 4:33 pm }

Oh techhater You have company with the Subway ads. I think Leighton looks quite different and has Carly developed a speech impediment? Creepy

21 Techhater { 05.20.14 at 4:44 pm }

Twiglet Yes i agree with others on strange scoring, made no sense to me whatsover.

…and as for Leighton VERRRRRRRRY creepy 👿

22 all happening { 05.20.14 at 5:27 pm }

It will be interesting to see how ch7 explains the altered rules to make the house bigger. What is the payoff to the others?

23 Raida { 05.20.14 at 5:52 pm }

Hey now, here’s a good question I think:
Why is it there is such poor painting such as in the study? get a paint edger – yes I know I know pros don’t use them and DIY people don’t use them but when you don’t know sh*t and you paint like sh*t – get one.

I thoguth maybe Masters don’t carry them;jsessionid=P-T4cQv6S9M647jQpQyJgw__.ncdlmorasp1202?bmUID=ko55KZt

that’s not the reason! I’ve helped people paint their houses and while I agree that cutting in gives the better result, it’s only a better result when you know how and have the time to do it. Using one of these compared to painting super-neat along the edges I personally would go with one of these every time.

24 Raida { 05.20.14 at 5:57 pm }

incidentally, I was disappointed that the owners didn’t echo the sentiment about the dining room – colours wrong, not inviting, bottlecap wallpaper wrong.

~fingers crossed~ next house has the word “Clinical” in one of the rules

25 LB { 05.20.14 at 6:36 pm }

Hi RR, could you check your spam folder? Posted a comment a couple of hours ago & nada

26 annajjj { 05.20.14 at 7:04 pm }

Twiglet I’m with you on reorganising the bathroom tiles. There’s a plastic puzzle you can buy with 8 tiles in a nine square frame where you have to move the tiles around to create a pattern (like a rubicks cube) I’d spend all my spare time mentally doing that with the tiles…

27 all happening { 05.20.14 at 8:03 pm }

It’s floral, it’s green and it’s ugly….Brooke will love it. Great comment Adam about the tiles.

28 LB { 05.20.14 at 9:05 pm }

Just quietly I’d be feeling really gypped if I had a three bedroom house that was reduced to a two bedroom house when Bitchy & Grumpy go from a two bed home to a five bed home. Then again the reno is being done in a week so there’s no guarantee it will still be standing two weeks from now

29 LB { 05.20.14 at 9:07 pm }

all happening @27 agreed! That was a snort laugh moment.

30 Gabby { 05.20.14 at 9:36 pm }

Good one all happening, I like Adam. Well once you have had your house done and you know who has done a terrible job to your rooms, if you have their house to go to, you can really give a payback, if you were that way inclined.
Shame Carole and Russell’s was done early in the series.

31 Eliza { 05.21.14 at 1:13 am }

I am so glad everyone else was thinking “what the…?” re the judging on Monday night. I had to stop myself from slapping my forehead with my palm with the judges comments as I would have ended up with an even worse headache than the show already gave me!

To save you all from another super-duper massive long comment by me, I am going to broadly agree with Agent 86#2. I couldn’t believe the scores that M&L got with all the very experience and hard to fix issues with their space/terrible interpretation of a mooooody bood-wahhh. Ok, their vanity area/tiles were great choices but that was it! Not worth 8s.

B&G’s spaces were time capsules of bad taste from 2005, but I do agree with others – at least their bad elements were easy fixes – the green colour, laundry tiles, horrid wallpaper, bedspread, etc. The bones were excellent and the execution seemed well done. It was really unfair.

C&R had an off week and am hoping that they do better this week as I really think that Carol probably has the most up to date idea on trends/has good taste. The bottle top wall paper, although not ugly in itself, wasn’t for this space, at all. Most here seemed to hate the tiles but I liked them and could see where she was going. The cubicle really destroyed it for them and yes, a separate toilet would have been great.

Let’s face it, Candy should NEVER be put in charge of painting, EVER! I had never painted before Easter time this year when we painted a room at home. It looks pretty much perfect. I quickly googled the best technique and it worked.

32 PollyB { 05.21.14 at 10:11 am }

The ‘master’ bedroom was a big fail. I do not want to see, hear and smell a bathroom from my bedroom. Or have pedestrians see me in the bathroom or bedroom. Why don’t these teams work together? It will only benefit everyones scores and the result for each house. The emphasis needs to be on creating not competing.
I have the laundry in a cupboard – 2 bed townhouse, 1 adult so not too bad for me, but washing is taken through the dining/living and that is just nonsensical. Mine is not squashed in like on this show though. I’d be pissed if my house was reduced to 2 beds & a ‘European’ laundry.
I believe, like MKR, the scoring is dictated by producers, even for the contestants, as the comments and scoring just don’t make sense.