Updated: Guest Post: House Rules Recap Part 1 & Part 2 – The Tassie Reno/Extension Kicks Off
Sometimes an episode is sooo good there here just too much to say. Here is Annajjj part one of her recap:
Part 1 (in which viewers play the Dwarves Drinking Game)
Day one in Tassie and glasses at the ready, let’s launch in to the previews and our first Drink! as the Snow Whites appear to tell us they have 7 reasons to drink between them. Three boys for Brooke and three boys and a girl for Grant. As far as the reno goes, Brooke is worried that the kids won’t all get their own space and how does she imagine this will ever be resolved in their current tiny 2.5 bedroom shoebox? 7 small cupboards perhaps.
Another drink! shot of all 7 very cute kids and their names pop up next to them; there are a lot of fashionable current kids names there although Jaxon and Kai seem to be missing. This family needs a reno so they can stay together otherwise Brooke is going to take her preferred kids and move out.
The other teams arrive and Carole has pulled out the pink overalls this time and Jo tells them to expect the unexpected. Adam really hopes the Snow Whites live happily ever after and they aren’t real story book characters Adam. We’re just pretending they are.
Any last instructions? Yes I hate carpet Brooke tells everyone, and I’m also expecting everyone in the house will get tons of their own space. This seems a bit arrogant considering they know they only have a tiny house at the moment.
Jo says go inside and see how Snow White lives…with seven dwarfs! Drink! as the teams act shocked at this news. Really? No one knew this before? The teams are in awe of the disgusting outdoor loo, broken bathroom window and kids sharing a bed. It’s almost like none of them have heard of Oliver Twist.
It’s all about the kids Bomber says, tearing up, and we’re going to give them something special and then Jo pops up to announce yes! Indeed we are. We’re giving the deserving Snow Whites an extension! All the teams are delighted and viewers are too because, let’s face it, whatever you think about Brooke and Grant their little kids at least deserve their own beds.
Do all the dwarves live there full-time? It’s not really clear. It’s zone allocation time now and Team Bomb get to choose and they also get a bat-phone to Snow White which is a huge advantage as normal people won’t be able to accurately decipher the freakish style tastes of Tasmanians. Team Bomb want Harrison and Riley’s room and the main bathroom.
Candy and Ryan get Hayden and Logan’s room and the kitchen and WIR. Mad Firemen get a combination of the dining room, shower and Mihayla’s room and we’re really mixing up the zone rooms now. Adam and Lisa have Oliver and Patrick’s room and the laundry. The Capers have to stay away from children’s zones because they seem to deliver nightmare renovations; so they get the living room, master bedroom and a tent. Mads thinks the camping experience will probably bring the Cappers closer. Undoubtably.
Next up the House Rules and surprisingly, gingham, matching his ‘n’ hers polos and 70’s retro style don’t make the final cut.
Style country farmhouse with rustic charm
Delight our kids with fantasy bedrooms
Creative storage ideas for all our dwarfs
Calm us with mossy tones
Indulge us with a claw foot slipper bath – which is about the only specific rule and, unlike a butler’s pantry, not really open to interpretation.
As usual though each team will seize on a combination of several rules and decide that is the key to winning this challenge. I’m placing bets on ‘rustic country moss’ as the overarching theme this week.
Next up, to assist the bedroom building teams, we get little bits of paper with personality clues. Bashful likes a bit of privacy, Sneezy is allergic to synthetics, Happy won’t care what you give him…
Irony arrives on the set as the Cappers, of all people, tell us they want to give the Snow Whites lots of calm and then the other teams head off to their hotels. Everyone is spending time contemplating the House Rules except for Bomber who is contemplating why selfie-cam makes his head look lopsided.
Part Two (in which a drunk recapper tries to make sense of what happened next)
The next morning both experts, McBurger-Craving and Chester!, arrive and much to his joy Chester! gets to yell ‘get out get out!’ because the excavator is coming to remove the outhouse. Once this is done the teams go back inside where McGravel-Burns is lying in wait. What is your vision? she demands of Team Bomb who have an adventure zone with a rock climbing wall for Harrison and Riley and McCrave can offer nothing here so she goes off in search of her next victims.
Over in Hayden and Logan’s room Ryan has the idea for a secret storage space as well as a TV because these are the indoor-loving kids as opposed to the outdoorsy rock climbing kids and you’d better hope you got that right. As usual Ryan is pretty pleased with himself.
Bomber calls a house meeting and Mel looks adoringly at his masterfulness. The meeting is to decide on a mutual floor covering. So we’ve obviously learned something from the last bitsa renovation. Otherwise we’d have polished concrete, floorboards and any other non-carpet flooring combinations mashed up against each other. Bomb offers to go shopping for the group since he’s so good at it. It’s a dangerous hobby Bomb, take it from me.
Finally (what time is it?) demolition starts.
McCrave pops up again, this time to dazzle Adam and Lisa with her slimming black and white horizontal stripes. The Goodes have Oliver and Patrick’s room and their delightful fantasy bedroom feature is suspending one bed above the other. McCrave actually earns her exorbitant fee here by suggesting that beds won’t exactly make 8 & 10 year olds lose their minds with excitement so they switch to a jungle gym theme. Good work McUseful.
Walls, tiles and door frames are all being removed and the Cappers learn that Tassie is expecting snow on Friday. 700 metres of snowfall in fact. That’ll be cold. Team Bomb use their secret weapon which is to text Snow White and ask them yes no questions about bunks, blinds and chandeliers. Do these teams talk to each other at all during previous renovations? Do they notice anything about each other’s style or preferences?
The concrete slab for the extension is poured in the pouring rain and Chester! tells us everything that could go wrong. Then everyone else parrots him and tells us everything that could go wrong and it’s up to them to spread the concrete out and we have our pointless group task of the week underway.
That night there is a BBQ at the Cappers with the boys, beer and BBQ on one side and the girls, wine and salad on the other and Carole seems to be handling the camping much better than I thought she would.
The next day Team Bomb shop for rustic country charm and find two rusty car doors to use as payback for the bed-head barn door fiasco. Brooke appears on screen to remind us that rustic doesn’t mean rusty any more than pops of pattern means pops of colour.
Ryandy buy an old meat chest and a vintage wooden table which means negotiating with the kitchen guy to change their kitchen plans. Kitchen guys milks his full 15 minutes of fame by pretending it’s too late and then suddenly it’s actually ok after all and is it just me or has this episode been going on for days?
Back to McCrave hinting heavily to Mad Firemen about fireplaces and it’s clear she’s been briefed earlier on Snow White preferences. Cross over to shots of Brooke doing needlepoint and insisting they must have a fireplace so Mahayla can sit by it and sweep out the cinders.
Then out to the shops so Adam can deliver the line of the night; it’s floral, it’s green, it’s ugly…Brooke will love it. It’s basically the Snow Whites captured in a tile. Lisa chimes in adding that they have completely opposite tastes to Brooke and Grant so basically anything they hate the Snow Whites will adore.
Mads is also out shopping and her budget won’t stretch to a big fireplace or even a medium sized fireplace or even a really small fireplace. In frustration the shop assistant suggests a box of matches.
The Cappers really want to get the toilet right this time and Gapper needs to pick the tiles so Carole can blame him if it all goes wrong. Carole is still very bitter over the judges comments on the last renovation. Meanwhile Team Bomb have found a slipper bath that Mel hopes will be able to fit all 7 dwarves in at once. I don’t think they were planning to do that Mel.
And that brings us to the end of an enormously long episode and ridiculously long recap. Well done to anyone who actually read through this monstrosity and to anyone who skipped the recap to get to the comments, well, you won’t be reading this anyway. Cheers!