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Guest Post: House Rules – Bomber And Mel’s House Reno Starts

The last house reno! Exciting times and Annajjj has it covered:

Ta-noight! It’s the last reno and we’re in SA at Mel and Bomber’s huge unfinished 103 year old house. Mel tells us it smells like cat wee and Bomber is just insulted by the terrible paint job. Team Bomb and kids have been living together for just 10 weeks with a $400K mortgage.

The red utes arrive and Carole is back in white overalls and Jo has donned her usual bright pink and is out the front to welcome everyone. You’ve done 6 renos in 6 weeks she tells them although they haven’t really.

The final instructions from Mel and Bomber include the words salvage, recycle, refurb and reuse. There are possible hidden meanings in their junk. Any cupboards we can chop up and turn into doors?

Teams move in to poke around and are all stunned by the size and the condition of the house. Mel has written on the wall that sometimes she believes in 6 impossible things before breakfast. On another wall Bomber has written that he can always find 6 things to complain about before breakfast.

Jo calls everyone together and tonight teams have again been ‘randomly’ selected zones.

Snow Whites get the family room, toilet (just the toilet?!) and 12 year old Jordan’s room while Mads and Lloyd finally get a kitchen as well as the dining room and 16 year old Kaitlyn’s room. Ryandy get the lounge, laundry and 14 year old Ethan’s room and Lisadz get the entry, master bedroom, WIR and ensuite. The Cappers are left with the hallway, bathroom, linen and Mel’s daughter Abby’s room.

Again there are notes explaining what each kid is into, which only serves to confuse and upset the teams. They’re just kids right? They should be happy enough with princess themes for girls and pirate themes for boys.

House Rules are uncovered and there are no surprises here:
Style us junk shop chic (probably with emphasis on the chic and not the junk part but teams will ignore this.)
A warehouse feel for the family room.
Creativity in the kid’s rooms and clearly these rules were submitted well prior to the Tassie reno.
A whisky cigar vibe in the lounge – this was obviously Mel’s idea because she wants Bomber to be a bit more classy and Bomber has gone along with it because he thinks he is already classy.
Up-cycle everything in the shed. WTF is upcycle? A new wanker way of saying recycle?

After the break we head into the scary shed where Team Bomb store their rubbish. There are tyres and stools and dead rats and assorted piles of crap and everything must be upcycled. There is that ridiculous word again.

Lisa is worried about painting a house for a professional painter but really if Bomber was that fussy he’d have done it himself by now. Carole calls in tradies to simultaneously sand back the floors and exorcise the ghosts. She gets mad at Gapper who ‘isn’t being a team’, until while shopping, he stumbles across a genuine claw foot cast iron bath tub. It’s really beautiful he says but to my mind it’s more scruffy than chic. But with that find, the Gapper is back in Team Capper.

Team Capper now head off to meet angry Brooke and long-suffering Grant at the tile shop. Carole throws a spanner in Brooke’s works by changing her mind on the mutual tile decision and Brooke spits and hisses as she stomps out of the shop. Carole then throws another spanner at Brooke’s head.

Lisa and Candy go shopping for pressed aluminium ceiling panels. My neighbours in Brisbane have this in just one room and it looks great. Gapper is also seeking the same look for his space and, like Michelle and Kel’s kitchen from Season 1, they are in danger of turning this house into a giant aluminium toolbox without some restraint.

Gapper picks a pattern then rings Carole for a bit of abuse and also the measurements and she acts like giving him this is a huge inconvenience. Chester! appears in his new role of divorce counsellor to encourage her to hassle poor Gapper some more. In another part of the house McAnnoying pops up to ask the Snow Whites about their zone. Well we wanted real bricks, explains Brooke, but we might have to go with brick veneer or weird stripey wallpaper instead. McUseless nods sympathetically and then simply leaves! Thanks for McNothing.

Carole hasn’t finished torturing poor Gapper and decides a ‘prank’ is in order. She tells him the demolition isn’t finished. Sucked in! she screeches in delight as Gapper flies into a frenzy and then drives home in a panic, running red lights, breaking the speed limit and getting himself killed on the way. Sucked in Carole.

BTW love all your comments gice. I don’t get home until it is nearly time for the next episode so I haven’t been commenting on the comments but it’s great to see there is interest on this show. I watch and write so fast I don’t notice half the things that happen so really enjoy reading your observations. Keep ’em coming.


1 all happening { 06.05.14 at 3:00 pm }

Petals, did you see the replacement crap that Tassie replaced the other things with. Milk crates are much more up market than a comfy settee. perhaps decorate with an animal carcass.
I saw the sold property and the pics showed a reasonable looking house. I suspect all the bare areas are as a result of termite damaged wood having been removed. There was a kitchen etc when they bought it.
I reckon Bomber brought his rubbish from somewhere else to decorate the shed and yard.

2 jec { 06.05.14 at 3:51 pm }

I thought the unfair treatment for B&G was McFlurry telling them that they were “heading for disaster” and therefore steering them in another direction. Has she done that with any other team? Why not let them keeping heading for a disaster and let us see the results! She obviously didn’t give them that advice for the QLD renovation – hello hessian!!! That, to me, was more of an advantage than being taken to a warehouse pub for a look-see.
Once again I cannot believe they will get this reno finished in time. I wonder what Channel 7 would do if all teams came to an agreement that they could not and would not finish their zone?!

3 Andrea { 06.05.14 at 10:20 pm }

Well, at least the designer lady did something this week and actually earnt her money!
It won’t work though, and how comfortable will those milk crates be to sit on?
I reckon Bomber and Mel are mad, they could have had some nice decent furniture ( still in the style they like ) with the budget allowed, not the second hand junk being recycled.

4 Bijou the cat { 06.06.14 at 10:56 am }

So, Bomber and Mel were living there for 10wks…but they have been away for the last 5 weeks (at least!). Does that mean they have only lived for 5 weeks or so? Obviously kids had been living with ex-/grands, so the house have not been lived much, have they? I was thinking that maybe previous owner/tenants were growing weeds, hence, no floor! Lol

5 Veronicali { 06.07.14 at 11:20 am }

Andrea @53 Someone here a couple weeks back? mentioned an article that revealed the homeowners don’t get to keep all the new furniture.

6 Myra { 06.09.14 at 10:07 am }

Is it just me but I found Sunday night’s show rather boring. The gag Carole and Russell pulled on Ryan was classic. The whole show was about that “chair”! OMG! that must be the only chair in town (and for $400). My thoughts were I could have found another chair and done my own touches to it for a lot less. I think the chair bit was a little overdone!!!! I love the tradies looking over at Grant while he was doing the wallpaper. The look on their faces were priceless. I also think it’s funny how the producers try to show Brooke and Grant a little nicer in that show and not their rather nasty and bitchy selves. Can’t wait to see the reveal. Okay we all know who we want to go house but who do you think will go home?

7 Fonz { 06.09.14 at 11:39 am }

How can I find out what stores the contestants went to to buy there secondhand furniture etc in Adelaide, as I liked the stores and what they had

8 Ma Chook { 06.09.14 at 2:27 pm }

I have a feeling the place where they got the old doors and other bits’n’pieces might have been Paramount Brown, which is down their side of town.

9 Rose { 06.10.14 at 3:22 pm }

Just would love to know where the upholstered chair in Abbeys room came from? Would like to purchase something from there too.

10 Andrea { 06.10.14 at 3:30 pm }

Rose, they said it was specially made by one of the tradies wife.

11 Fran Adams { 06.12.14 at 5:32 pm }

Does anyone actually believe that any of that show is ‘reality’? I think that it is all scripted farce. Personally, I would like to see more information about decorating and what the styles actually mean. Not impressed by all the contrived charades that are highlighted.

12 เสื้อในให้นม { 06.21.14 at 9:33 pm }

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