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Guest Post: When Love Comes To Town – Port Macquarie: J.J Returns (Why?

Apologies to Gidgit VonLaRue she sent this to me yesterday and I cut and paste it but forgot to press publish! For those who are still watching When Love Comes To Town you are going to love this recap:

This might be all over the place as my recording failed and just got the last end of the Big Bang Theory – the most confusingly unfunny show that continues to be really successful! Each to their own! So I’m watching it online, but hey, I’m doing it!

So the flange bus is off to beautiful Port Maquarie and Nat Gruzzwacker chats to Nikki who says she is pumped which is convenient seeing she’s a personal trainer. We also see that some past chick has escaped her capture and is now hitch hiking on the very road the bus is travelling on.  To be honest I thought it was going to be Rupucka but it’s J.J – the loud mouthed harlot from the very first episode. Not surprised the original girls are ok with her return while the new girls are all stink face. Turns out J.J. got sick of building chook sheds and riding on tractors….and Adam!

Seems the show has now disposed of the cheering locals as the girls get off the bus because lets face it – it was lame. The fresh meat are Stu, a keen golfer, and Shahid, a keen vet. I did like him saying ‘my day often revolves around animals’. Umm, you are a vet dude, I would HOPE that’s the case! Shahid is probably the most handsome guy they’ve had so far which is good because he’s a bit of a short arse.  Stu is actually a restaurant manager with aspirations of being a professional golfer. Yeah good luck with that. I want to be Miss Universe personally! Stu loves golf so much I suggest he put a dress on his 9 iron and marry that!

Shahid’s mob are taken to the beach for a camel ride and self confessed ‘animal lover’ J.J is the most terrified of the camels. So in other words when she says ‘animal lover’ she means dogs and cats – but anything else is just useless and scary? Why is she back again? But turns out the VET likes the girl that is the most scared of animals. *Note: the girls look like absolute nuffies with those spaz helmets on*  Shahid takes drink driver – sorry Jennifer – off for a walk for about 2 minutes thus resulting in her gushing over having the best date ever (was that even a date??) Next he wanders off to kick a ball around with J.J and turns out guys like girls with fun personalities (I’ve relied on that fact since I was 17 & it’s served me well)

Tash and Ainslie I think pretty much have tapped out so just hang on the beach looking at the waves. Nikki manages to get Shahid to take his shirt off & go for a swim so it’s looking like a 3 girl race. Over at Port Macquarie golf course and Stu is drooling over any woman who has a great golf swing. If that’s the case plenty of blue haired oldies looking for love here at Blackheath Golf Course, Stu! You’re welcome! Stu already had his peepers set on Caitlin from the get go so she’s a shoe in! Also turns out Amy doesn’t want to be a cat lady (which I would think is an expression getting very tired by women that own cats!)  Back at the beach and Shahid picks Nikki and J.J – much to the ‘what the’ of the other rejected girls – well Jennifer anyway. Tash & Ainslie just want to kick back at the hotel drinking cocktails and cracking onto the hot young bar tender.

Stu ends up picking Caitlin and Amy. Meanwhile in Orange Mitch and RENEE are still bonding even though he liked both his choices (awkward) then they pash in a vineyard and it’s over to Rybucca & Sam & Rupukka is amazed at the fact Orange isn’t just 3 pubs and a petrol station. Sam takes her to see his mum & his little step sister and I just can’t get around the fact Ruubikka just seems like she’s constantly putting on an ‘act’. It seems to work as Sam’s mum approves (cute looking grandkids she’s thinking – plus look at those breeder hips) & his step sister is covered in sand.

Back to PM and Amy thinks a romantic date is water – so Stu could have saved some dosh on renting the Chinese junk boat & just sat her next to a full bathtub. They do a ‘king of the world’ on the front of the boat and the solo dolphin rolls its eyes.  Meanwhile Nikki is jogging with Caitlin then over to Nikki’s date with Shahid where they go paddle boarding. He pushes her off because men never grow up then back on shore she makes him do push-ups to get a kiss when really he should be making HER do the push-ups in order to get a kiss from him! I’m really starting to see why so many of these sheila’s are single! Over at Stu city and he’s taken Caitlin to his family property of…trees?  Also what is with Caitlin and her desire to wear clothes the same colour as safety uniforms for road night workers?? They then go 4-wheel-driving in a converted golf cart and Stu has a stiffy. Then off swimming in a lake and I do like Caitlin’s swim suit. It’s sweet & nice not seeing ‘sexy bikini’ yet again. They both seem to be hitting it off and turns out Stu likes getting big ugly body tattoos.

In Orange Mitch and Renee head up to a field where some half rate opera singer appears like Jason in the Halloween movies to serenade Mitch, and scare the shit out of Renee. Mitch thinks its romantic and it sure is – if Renee was 70. After the scary opera encounter Renee still seems ‘eh’ about Mitch where I think she really needs to stop being so picky – seriously! She is so rude about the opera chick. Did your parents not teach you manners young lady? (yeah I know, pot calling kettle but I’m doing a review – she was there in front of the opera singer with the guy that organised it!)

Back in Port Dolphin and it’s back to Shahid’s pad and he fesses up he tongue snogged Nikki thus throwing fickle J.J into a spin where she just quits because how dare someone have a better date than her! At Stu’s pad he’s confused because neither Amy or Caitlin are golf clubs.  AGAIN the man cooks and are mum’s not teaching their daughters to cook anymore?? I’m fast forwarding this because well, there is another hour to review – which I’ll do in my 2nd part separate from this so reality ravings can beef out her blog! So J.J had piked (not on the show though obviously) and Natalie Grzzzzzzzzzzz shows up on the edge of a cliff to ask who wants to stay with who. Only two towns to go so these bitches better be staying! Result! Nikki stays with Vet boy and Caitlin stays with Tiger Macquarie.  Next town, same bitches, new boys…. See you there!



1 Eliza { 06.21.14 at 2:10 am }

Well, I think this post is for you and I, Daisy.. anyone else out there still watching?!

Thanks for the recap GVL.. I surely do appreciate you making me laugh.

I knew it was going to be JJ back on the bus (please see previous thread as proof) should have placed a bet on it… *rolls eyes*. I was also asking where the rent-a-crowd had gone.. maybe they had blown their budget on this show already?!

HAHA I totally agree about the cats.. what the heck is wrong with having a cat or two?! I have had a cat since I was a baby.. was I destined to be a cat lady because of that? My terrible mother should never have rescued that poor stray that turned out to be the most loving pet. I would love to have a dog again, but they take a lot more time than cats and I like having pets.. sheesh! I have always wanted a chameleon..

Rebekah rubs me the wrong way, too.. she seems incredibly ingenuine. I noted Caitlin’s crazy fluro colours too.. maybe this is her secret weapon to attracting the guys? Switching my bitch switch.. I don’t see the appeal otherwise.. “AHH.. bright colours!”.

2 Bianca { 06.21.14 at 8:57 am }

My epg and drv was not displaying the episode times and I missed the start. At one point JJ said “Adam broke my heart.’ While kind of smiling. Does anyone know – was there any footage -why that fizzled out, or did she just show up by the side of the road?

3 daisy { 06.21.14 at 9:43 am }

First let me say, I am with GVL re Big Bang. I hate one joke comedies eg Big Bang, we’re nerds, or 2 1/2 Men, Chalie is a slut.
They haven’t moved on from the Are You Being Served days.

Now down to business. I alsowould like to know who dumped who out of Adam and JJ. I am disappointed that a number of these girls are just seming to want their mug on TV because they aren’t giving the guys a chance.
And does anyone one else think, “Hello Grandma” re Kaitlin’s bathers? My goodness how old is she? She can wear that crap when she is 50.

4 Honeybee { 06.21.14 at 9:52 am }

I dont watch this show but I love these recaps, thanks GVL.
When is this show on?

5 daisy { 06.21.14 at 9:53 am }

BTW Eliza, re extrovert/intro, my brother is a man of very few words but most of them are comedy gold.

6 Honeybee { 06.21.14 at 9:55 am }

Honeybee@4 is not me, the old/original Honeybee.

But feel free to use it, Honeybee.

7 Penelope { 06.21.14 at 10:08 am }

Sorry Honeybee. Thanks for your offer for me to keep using it, very kind of you but it’s no problem for me to change.

8 Honeybee { 06.21.14 at 10:13 am }

Sokay, Penelope. You wouldn’t have wanted to be lumped with all my bad behaviour. ;).

Anyway I love Penelope. It reminds me of the gorgeous Natalie Wood in the movie of the same name.
And Tuesday night, I think.

9 Penelope { 06.21.14 at 10:24 am }

Haha thanks honeybee.
I wish I could say I was inspired by beautiful Natalie Wood but to be honest I couldnt think of anything but I remembered a cartoon character with a name I liked “penelope pitstop”

10 daisy { 06.21.14 at 10:30 am }

Penelope, just googled it. Still very cool and 60s.
Like a young Anne Margaret touring Rome on a Vesper.

11 Gidgitvonlarue { 06.21.14 at 9:07 pm }

Thanks y’all! I enjoy doing the write ups to this show – but had art gallery opening so fell behind. Only did half write up of second hour of the show. Might finish it off and RR might put it up just for the fans of the show!

12 Gidgitvonlarue { 06.21.14 at 9:10 pm }

@Eliza – yeah I have a cat too – so where is the ‘cat lady’ line? 2…3….29? I think to be ‘cat lady’ one also has to be single, had no kids, be a bit of a hoarder and shout at strangers while walking down the street with shopping bags full of empty cans! Just guessing…

13 Shellbot { 06.21.14 at 9:50 pm }

You missed the awesome date with JJ and Shahid checking if the horse was pregnant and JJ’s love of animals causing her to dry wretch with joy :p

14 Eliza { 06.23.14 at 1:39 am }

@GVL.. uh oh.. I am ticking too many of those ‘cat lady’ boxes.. single, tick; no kids, tick; have way too much stuff, tick; shout at strangers.. hmm.. not yet but how about bad drivers? Then tick.. Just need the empty cans :/

15 Jo { 06.23.14 at 10:52 am }

Yes please do a 2nd review, this stuff is hilarious!!

16 Elizabeth { 06.23.14 at 1:19 pm }

GVL thank god you’re back! I wish you’d been around for the Orange episode – I was so looking forward to your comments about Sam and Rybucca/Rupukka/Ruubikka (did anyone else think they looked like they were related?). Can’t wait for your take on what happens in Mt Isa….

17 Mimi { 06.24.14 at 10:46 pm }

Good recap. Want more

18 daisy { 06.24.14 at 10:51 pm }

Eliza, deano, penelope etc, I have Orphan Black to go now so I might have to chat about WLCTT tomorrow. Don’t know if I can go the distance tonight.

19 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 12:37 am }

My thoughts may not stay with me until the rising hours haha. No worries, catch you then, Daisy!

I am going to catch the extra goss on the WLCTT website.

20 daisy { 06.25.14 at 1:30 am }

Eliza, if you are still up, I caved in and stayed up.
Mitch was the best guy at the end.
It was weird how these girls so often fought for guys they didn’t even want.
Aren’t the lounge interrogations from Natalie awkward.
I ended up not liking Leigh. He was forever David Spade after Sandii pointed out the likeness.
The last two guys at Airlie beach were a bit naaah.
How was that girl saying, “My ovaries aren’t dead yet. I have a couple of years”? Way to market yourself to the men of Australia!

21 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 1:41 am }

Interview with JJ:

Haha, in the Daily Mail looks as though they really thought they ate platypus:

I thought I was watching Burning Love for a moment there when Nat was talking to Jen and she said that she wanted a “hairless gorilla”!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 1:49 am }

Oh yeah, I loved Amy’s comment about her ovaries too.. I said to mum.. that’s a great thing to broadcast to Australia!

The guys tonight were ugh.. Kendall was ok though for an older guy 😉 but I would have been back on that bus. They should have had the Mt Isa guys last to finish off on a bang. I think Tash really just wanted to go out getting another date. It is clear she doesn’t want to leave her business so would want a guy that would move to her. Fair enough, but why go on this show? Maybe she is hoping guys will now track her down where she lives. Ainslie, again, pathetic. I liked her less and less as it went on. She just wants to party and ‘have fun’. Ok, of course you can have fun with you you’re with but she seems a commitment-a-phobe for sure.

How about Zoe and the footy player. Wowza, he looked more like he was pushing 40. He seems really into her though. Hey, HOT footy players.. I like football and can pass a footy well too 😉 HAHAHA

I can say I was shocked that Renee and Mitch were still together and same with Shelley and Reggie. It was good to see though. Leigh has lost his sparkle.. he is too touchy feeling and talks about his feelings all the time.. ugh. I am a bit Renee like that.

I am going to watch Rebekah’s extended interview online now.. I got distracted being all 19 and looking for club photos online of me and some friends.

23 daisy { 06.25.14 at 1:54 am }

Thanks for the link Eliza. Ha she must’ve got the idea from Burning Love that she would have had more luck if she were gay.

24 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 1:59 am }

Haha yeah! It is really funny, in Burning Down the House, Zak from Julie’s season is really interested in Carly being ‘lesibian’ as he calls it.

25 daisy { 06.25.14 at 2:02 am }

Yep, Ainsley was annoying. Funny, I had a soft spot for dolly, flirty Rebekkah, I don’t know why.

Both the Airlie Beach guys were too daggy imo. They probably got
old guys for Ainsley. But she doesn’t know what she wants. Zoe was a bit whatever so she was OK with old Airlie beach guy, Kendoll.

I told you Renae wasn’t a good farm girl. She admitted it tonight.

I was surprised the vet guy thought his girl was hot. He did have
really nice eyes, but other than that I didn’t think he was hot.

26 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 2:09 am }

I reckon Ainslie will be 60 and still trying to score 25 year olds. Awww not ready to settle down quite yet… I admire her for one thing, her positivity at still being able to get these guys. Heck, I am 10 years younger than her and have about a 100th of her positivity! I think I am getting too old. It was shame Jess never found her magic man.. I really wanted to see what kind of tricks he could do to win her over.

Also, again, Caitlin struck the footy player first.. what? I don’t find her striking at all. I keep moaning on about her but it bamboozles me. What do I know, anyway.

27 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 2:11 am }

Zoe went with the other guy, not Ken-doll haha.

Sorry, I am always so overbearing with all my posts on this show! I get really type-ative at night time.

28 Eliza { 06.25.14 at 2:23 am }

Sleep time, good night!

29 daisy { 06.25.14 at 5:08 am }

Don’t apologise. Nothing to apologise for.