After last weeks great recap  by Injera she has kindly done another great one this week. Thank you Injera. Also if you feel like reading something different than reality TV check out her great blog Injera.

Top Design – Triathlon

Eight designers remain!  Who will be our Top Designer?

The first voice we hear is Eddie, hoping for an individual challenge so he can express his own creativity.  The second is to Teresa, last week’s dead wood, who observes that she’s “not being utilised as much as (she) could be”.  This seems to be both a dangerous sentiment – “utilised”?  really?  like someone else in the competition (one of your competitors, no less) should be deploying you to show your strength? – and a very early signal to this viewer that Teresa’s going to go home this week. Yep, you heard it here.  Two minutes in and I’m picking the loser edit from this week.  Am I right?  Are my spidey senses still well-tuned?

Wisit is having left-over meatloaf for breakfast.  Eeew.

We cut to Natalie who, at 24, is saying that she has accomplished a lot by being “head designer” at such a young age.  Like the caption, she doesn’t elaborate on what that position entails and where it is.  Her next comment reveals some insecurity, though, in that she feels she still needs to prove herself, so perhaps she’s head designer for Subway franchises.  Andrea misses her kids.  Based on my limited acquaintance with Andrea, I am confident in predicting that this is the most interesting thing she will say or do for the entire episode. 

Eddie calls all the designers to go, and they head out the door to the usual montage of LA buildings.  I love that they show Gehry’s Walt Disney Concert Hall.  It kind of ensures that any “design” we’re likely to encounter from our contestants will be a let-down. 

India and her bronzer and jeans remind the contestants that they have been working in teams so far.  They are all polite enough not to say “duh”.  No doubt the designers will still act as though they are utterly side-swiped when she tells them that this week’s challenge is individual.  I’m amazed by this capacity for surprise at the obvious when they are able to remain calm in the face of such sheer craziness as the hat and extreme sleeves of judge Kelly Wearstler.  As India announces the individual Top Design Triathlon, eyebrows ratchet up, demonstrating the limited Botox budget.  It is a “gruelling” event, and designers will have their “creative vision, styling ability and versatility as a decorator” tested.  Teresa looks scared.  If it’s an individual challenge, who will make the decision on how to utilise her?  Nathan, on the other hand, looks pleased, however he describes himself as “definitely not a triathlete.  I’m a smokerlete”, which is not the standard of quip I’ve come to expect from him. 

India goes on to describe the challenge.  She clarifies the obvious (there are three legs), but the elimination details are ambiguous : “you must perform well in each leg, those who are in the bottom may face elimination”.   As a Phil Keoghan watcher of many years, I am always attuned to the “may”, but “those who are in the bottom”?  Bottom what?  Two, three, eight?  Come on, India! 

The first leg is the “chair leg”.  Boom-tish.  Natalie laughs at this limp pun as though her life depends on it.  The task?  Choose one of ten unfinished chairs and transform it into a “one of a kind” piece.  There are lots of fabrics, paints, wood and “many, many other tools”, and two hours to complete.  Kelly and her hat and sleeves realises that India has forgotten to introduce her, so leaps right in and tells the designers that they will be judged on their artistic vision and creativity.  Most importantly, winners of each leg get immunity.  Wow. 

Nathan heads straight for the chair he’s had his eye on (they are all different, hence the “choice”), but others go directly for fabrics.  Wisit goes for painting the existing, plain fabric, whilst Andrea worries about the tension between the judges’ desire for a “wow” chair and her own, simple, classic (yawn!) tastes.  She is heartened by the mess that is Teresa’s chair, though, so I think she’s hoping to scrape through this one as “not worst”. 

Lots of painting, sanding, stapling. 

Ondine is inspired by Betsey Johnson, which must mean “kitsch and tacky”.  Her chair is shaping up to be pink and pom-pommy.  She has the gall to suggest that Natalie’s is over the top!  Natalie says she’s “pushing the envelope”, but it doesn’t look that original – more Tara Dennis than Marc Newson, that’s for sure.  Nathan’s is royal blue paint and shiny, shiny gold upholstery.  I think I spy some paint stains on the upholstery.  He says it’s “very unique”.  No!  Not a modifier for “unique”! 

Eddie chose a Queen Anne and is updating that old “grandma” chair.  He’s also the self-appointed time keeper for this leg.  Even though the judges explicitly said they are after the “wow” factor, Eddie says he doesn’t want the “wow” factor.  He wants the “glam” factor and the “beauty”.  I want the difference between all of these explained to me, with diagrams.  He paints the frame a rather ugly yellow, but has done an amazing job covering the cushion with a silver fabric.  The ever-humble Eddie says: “I am working the best with what I have and, honestly?  It was perfection.”

We haven’t seen Preston at all, in case you were wondering.

Time’s up!

Preston’s is the first up for judging.  It’s very dark and shiny – black paint with blue velvet upholstery.  He sees it as a desk chair.  Nothing about that says “wow” to me.  He just gets nothing from the judges except “thank you”.

India asks Wisit if he picked the fabric or painted it.  There doesn’t seem to be a correct answer to this question.  If he says he painted it, he’s taking responsibility for creating a whole bunch of ugliness, and if he says he picked it, then his taste is questionable.  Hey, what do I know?  Sleeves McHat really likes the effect.

Eddie’s looks… oh, I’m not going to judge!  Let the experts speak!  India listens to Eddie rave about his creation, then seems to want to confirm that the hideousness was not only intentional, but is unobserved: “So you’re really happy with that?  And you could live with your chair?”  Her only comment is “it looks very finished”. 

Natalie joins Preston in getting no more than a thank-you.

Andrea looks panicked and with good reason.  Her chair is horrible.  Bland colours and a baggy upholstery job.  Yuck.  She’s honest about it, though (well, except for the “horrible” bit, that was mine.  Oh, and the bland.  In fact, she only really owns the upholstery error). 

Teresa’s also looks a bit grim and India just wants to clarify that “it reflects” her.  She says it does.  Is that body dysmorphic disorder or something? 

Ondine gets a positive from Sleeves for her risk taking “that worked”.  Good on her.

Nathan’s “speaks to (him) as fashion and art colliding as one and ending up in an interior space”.  Sleeves thinks it looks like an “important” piece of furniture.  I’ll take “important” over “finished” any day.

As the designers gather for the verdict, there’s a shot of Sleeves and I can’t even listen to what she’s saying – I’m too busy trying to figure out what is posture, what is clothing and what is her body.  Wow.  I wish I could do a screen shot.  Natalie’s is the first to be identified as Less Successful (“a remnant from a Vegas hotel, 15 years ago”), followed by Teresa (“it was just an upholstery job”).  They did, however, love Nathan’s (“one of a kind”, “loud, in a good way”) , Eddie’s (“a bold statement”) and Ondine (“iconic feel”).  Nathan gets the win, but is not going to give up and slack off for the next two legs. 

Second Leg!  Will they persist with the “leg” puns for the challenge titles?  Sadly, no.  Jonathan Adler is guest judge.  Now they are going to “design and style a beautiful dining table”.   It’s a “perfect microcosm of all the challenges of design, apparently.  “Composition, colour, texture, scale… taste”.  So, clearly “functionality” is not key to good design.  Let’s see what happens, shall we?

They have 30 minutes and $500 to spend in the showroom, then 2 hours to design the table.  Teresa acknowledges that she really needs immunity.  Natalie’s response to her poor performance in the “chair leg” is to choose a table that is “completely the opposite” of what she’d normally go for. 

Shopping!  Preston runs straight for flowers.  I hope he doesn’t accidentally get fake silk ones!  Eddie scoffs that this is easy for him.  He even does a “Pffft”.  Andrea’s looking at stove top espresso machine, for some reason, and Ondine deliberately chooses a fabric that she describes as “a palm tree on a plaid”.  This, after Jonathan stresses the importance of taste.  Natalie is playing it safe with white and silver. 

Time’s up and work begins.  Nathan, with nothing to lose, is taking a radical approach – sanding back his table to get a “bohemian hangout/seaside cottage” casual vibe. 

Painting, stapling, hive-of-activity shots.

Natalie shows that she is listening to judge feedback to “edit” her ideas.  She is the first contestant today to say she really wants to win, so I’m glad I wasn’t counting on this as my drinking game trigger.  She does, however, say it twice, with varying emphasis, so that would work for two drinks, right?

Preston is aiming for “mothers’ day in the Napa Valley”.  He’s hoping he can pull it off.  Seriously, Preston would have the love light shining in his mother’s eyes just by flashing that smile.  She wouldn’t even notice the fake flowers!   She would certainly not be an objective judge of good table design.

Andrea’s missing her family.  Who knew?  Her theme is… snore. 

Teresa is keeping time for this task.  She is painting plates.  What an excellent way to utilise her time. 

Eddie’s grandmother is his biggest influence in his decorating life.  I hope she wasn’t watching when he used the term “grandma” pejoratively in the previous challenge.  The things she did with tinfoil for thanksgiving must have been better in person, because they sound awful. 

Time’s up!

Teresa describes her table as “informal, somewhat Zen”.  Zen is not a catch-all descriptor for things-you-didn’t-do-well, lady!  There is nothing Zen about her table.  I’d go so far as to say that there’s nothing “Zen” about it, either.  She has eucalyptus branches stuck randomly in vases. 

Natalie’s table is a big mess – literally – of yellow flowers, stacks of blue and white crockery, two woeful white lanterns and some yellow glassware.  It’s apparently for a brunch that “is a little bit on the fancy side, but not too extreme”.  Jonathan hates the flowers, but thinks the rest of the table is “great”.  Well done, Natalie!

Eddie’s looks fab.  I’d enjoy eating at that table.  Jonathan likes it, too.

Andrea’s white on white, with perhaps a touch of pale blue, table is boring.  She did it for a “girly” birthday party for her daughter, but it looks more like a very plain wedding table.  She’s not winning “mom of the year” with this one.

Nathan’s looks awesome.  It’s very casual – he hasn’t even “set” the places” – and Jonathan and India are happy with it.

Flowers seem to be Preston’s undoing.  India thinks the table looks more like a “flower shop” than somewhere you’d sit for a meal.

Wisit sings!  India grabs the nearest glass to stop it from shattering (would that work?).  They are so blown away that they make no comment on his OK table.

Ondine’s mixed metaphors to describe her southern-garden- teaparty-afternoon-brunch are a good enough guide to the mish-mash that is her table.  Jonathan’s not happy.  He doesn’t see Ondine in the table.  She agrees that it’s not really her.

Judging!  Bad news first.  Ondine made “no emotional connection” with the table setting.  Preston’s was impractical. 

Stand-outs: Eddie and Nathan.  Again.  Of course.  Nathan wins… again!  Amazing.  He’s sure he will be poisoned by the other contestants.

Leg three is coming up, after the designers have a good night’s sleep.

Two lots of breakfast and bathroom scenes in one episode is really taking it out of me.  Eddie considers a top-two finish in the first two challenges to be a good omen.  Nathan is excited.  Can he make a clean sweep?  His bizarre top thinks “yes”!  And the continuity editors scream “no”!

Margaret Russell, the Editor-in-Chief of Elle Decor, is judging the… “breathtaking space” challenge?  They must take inspiration from nature to tell a story for a photo-shoot.  They are looking for “amazing” and are offering the opportunity to have it photographed for Elle Decor.  There’s fist pumping and applause.  The catch?  They are shopping at a garden centre.  Natalie has obviously never been to a garden centre.  “Plants!  That’s it!  Plants!”, she panics.  They have $1000 to spend in 45 minutes.

Nathan goes for cacti and succulents.  Eddie is up for statuary – bird baths and urns.  He wants to do “pretty”.  Teresa is going for a Zen space.  Of course she is.  Natalie grabs vintage planters to achieve a Martha’s Vineyard look.  Andrea wants an indoor-outdoor vegie patch.  What about Wisit, Ondine and Preston?  Who knows!  It’s quite possible that Preston rolled up into foetal position when gardens were mentioned and missed the shopping expedition altogether.

They have four hours to transform very plain “two-walled” spaces.  Wisit is attempting a “Springtime in a Parisian Apartment” look.  Good luck to him.  He has turf and blossoms to help.  Ondine is using Kelly green in what she describes as a 60s pop colour scheme (although I thought you’d need more than one colour to call it a “scheme”). 

I was just going to say that I’ll use “Zen” as my drinking game word next week, but then I remembered that I need Teresa to go home.  “Every concept is Zen.”  Bollocks.

Nathan thinks his looks really bad.  “Horrible.”  He is particularly depressed when Teresa tells him that they are doing the same colour finish.  Ha!   He changes tack immediately.  “Zen Buddha Palace?” he says, with a horrified shudder.

Preston’s painting stripes, and I’ve just realised that he kind of reminds me of Robert Plotkin from Project Runway, probably just because of Robert’s banal swimsuit with racing stripes, but also because they both seem so, well, dumb.  He’s doing it for grandma.

Andrea is making a boring garden and Eddie snarks that Teresa’s tobacco colours are giving him a smoker’s cough.  Natalie is doing it for her mum.

They finish for the day, with an hour left to finish in the morning.  The designers are relaxing and Eddie leads the bitching about Teresa’s design.  Andrea interviews that “Eddie’s great, but it’s really important for me to be around people who are genuine because I’m a genuine person”.  Genuinely boring is far less entertaining than witty, Andrea.

Preston’s looks awful.  Awful.  Teresa’s is… Zen.  God, I hope she goes home.  It’s foul.  She’s done nothing with the floor.  India seems to be trying not to laugh.  Wisit’s is busy and he’s painted furniture on the wall, but it looks quite pretty and holds together as a concept.  Nathan’s is a “transitional” space, with a Baja vibe.  I don’t think he actually had a plan as to where it worked with an actual house, but it looks ok.  Natalie gets some positive comments for a routine job.  Ondine’s is all Kelly green with white furnishings and it’s certainly striking.  Andrea’s has nothing on the walls.  It’s just a garden.  The judges like Eddie’s, but think there’s still something granny there.  That really hurts!

Final judging.  I didn’t recognise Sleeves McHat in a cocktail dress and big – no, enormous – hair!   Natalie’s worked, “mindful and thoughtful”.  Eddie’s – polished, but no wow factor (and they hit him with “granny” again).  Preston’s chair was beautiful, but the overall room was complacent.  Wisit took it in the direction they wanted and had lots of ideas.  Nathan just threw a bunch of stuff in; boring.  Ondine hasn’t wowed in the triathlon; dishevelled.  Andrea’s was a mess.  Teresa’s plant choice was nice but the room wasn’t cohesive; “where you wait for valet parking”. 

Bring “˜em in! 

Who won the final leg?  Natalie!  Natalie?  Huh.  There’s no tension for the overall winner;  it’s gotta be Nathan.  They leave with their immunity, and with the unanswered question of “who gets photographed for Elle Decor” hanging over their heads (this goes unresolved).  Preston, Eddie, Wisit and Ondine are all safe. 

It’s between Andrea and Teresa.  Teresa gives us another couple of Zens in her final interview.  Who’s going home?  It comes down to the fact that the judges recognise that Teresa does everything “Zen”, but doesn’t do it well, and Andrea is bland.  So?  Who is it?  C’mon! 

“Teresa, we cannot live with your design.”

Next week, I’m hoping Andrea goes, followed by Natalie, then Preston.  But, even more so, I’m hoping that the contestants stop being so NICE to each other.  I need some interpersonal drama.

Injera who writes her own fabulous blog has kindly agreed to write guest posts on Top Design the show where interior designers compete to be the top designer. If you have Arena TV and like reality TV watch it – it is fantastic.

Here is Injera’s recap on last nights episode:

Top Design – Bachelor Pad

“We cannot live with your design”.   Now there’s a phrase I’ve been wanting in my repertoire.

So, nine designers remain.  And what are they hanging about for?  Glad you asked.  The prize is $100,000 and a spread in Elle Decor magazine (which I heard as “El Decor”, a glossy dedicated to the whimsical stylings of a taco joint).  Oh, and – most importantly – “the right to say they have the Top Design^TM“.

Remaining: Nathan, Teresa, Preston, Shazia, Ondine, Natalie, Wisit, Eddie and Andrea

We watch Preston eating his breakfast and voicing over about how fulfilling he’s finding this (the show, not the breakfast).  He’s got a real gift for punctuating trivial statements with portentous pauses, which almost trick me into thinking he’s about to say something astonishing.  Then I get distracted by his sloping shoulders and start thinking about Josh Holloway on “Lost”, so the rest of his VO is just blahblah.

Wisit laments Kerry’s recent elimination and helps out this first time viewer by alerting me to Shazia’s potential hopelessness, opining that she should have gone home instead.  We cut briefly to Shazia, who owns “Egospace Interiors”.

The designers, having finished their breakfasts and helped each other clear up, file into the workspace where India Hicks and her chipper accent and bright yellow kaftan greet them for their next challenge.  As she describes their new clients (“desperately need your help”, “stumped when it comes to design and decoration”), the camera pans across our eager contestants, who take turns demonstrating the mobility of their eyebrows.  When the identity of the client is revealed – “That’s right, designers!  You’re going to be working with bachelors!” –  there’s a smattering of applause and some laughter and “yay!” (sincere-sounding) and “yay” (ironic), but not from Shazia.  Shazia happens to know a little something about bachelors.  “Bachelors are disgusting individuals.”  She spits.  “They’re gross… gross, gross, gross.”  She includes her fiancé in this set.

Nathan doesn’t think so.  He’s thrilled at the prospect of working with a single man he can potentially flirt with.  He’d better get some botox before meeting his client – the evil eyebrow raising will give him away immediately.  The glint in his eye tells me that he’s actually considering growing his moustache longer, just to give him something to twirl. 

In come the bachelors!  Obi, James and Eddie are generic  TV-show-cutish-but-not-hot.  Now, that’s just my opinion – I’m sure Nathan might think otherwise.

The designers will be working in teams of three.  Nathan purses his lips, evaluatively. 

“Let’s pick some paintchips!”  India’s delivery is making me regret the limitations of the available forms of punctuation.  Most of her sentences end in something that’s a little more than a full stop, but not quite an exclamation mark.  An exclamation stop, perhaps? 

Eddie is thrilled to have picked “heart-throb red, again!”, and even more so to be joining up with Ondine and Natalie for this challenge.  He is wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar and is the Senior Style Editor at Martha Stewart Living Magazine.  How will Martha feel if he wins and has a spread in Elle Decor?  Doesn’t anybody ever consider Martha?

Nathan is all “here we go again”, literally.  He’s not happy to be grouped with “Bad Luck Mary” in the Green team.  Anyone?  Anyone?  It’s Shazia, who clearly is out of favour with the producers.  She’s getting the complete loser edit tonight.  Their client is Eddie.  Will Nathan be able to flirt with Eddie?  Well, he’s going to give it a red-hot go: “I think ‘WOW!’.  Who’s this guy wearing a chic suit, tight, tailored perfect, top stitching, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous”.  Nathan could understudy Christopher Guest for the role of Corky St Clair in a stage version of “Waiting For Guffman”.  In fact, why isn’t this happening already?  It’s got to be a better idea than “Legally Blonde”.  Oh, and Preston/Josh-Holloway-shoulders is the third person in this team, in case you were wondering. 

Andrea is pleased that her team (Blue – Wisit and Teresa) is working with Obi as “he looks like he’s got good personal style”.  And maybe he has, but she must have a sort of designer super-power to be able to figure that from a hoodie, dark pants and white sneakers.  Maybe it’s his Jedi magic.

Over in the Red team, Natalie is jumping to all sorts of conclusions about the design tastes of her client, James, based on the fact that he’s wearing a long-sleeve/short-sleeve T-shirt combo.  At least, I think that’s what sets her off wearily imagining his lit-up, Miller High Life sign. 

The budget?  $10,000.  I think Natalie will be able to buy lots of beer paraphernalia with that.  They have 2 ½ days, and the services of “painters, carpenters, wall-paper-hangers and seamstresses!”.   Eddie is particularly thrilled like this and I really feel him, here.  Nobody likes to have hands that feel like a “Polish potato farmer during the famine” (although, if he means the hands of a potato farmer, I would’ve thought that a famine would mean less digging for potatoes, more time for manicures?).

The Red team checks out their bachelor’s pad, in West LA.  They like the space, but Eddie is a little judgey about the fact that James has a flat screen TV “for his Nintendo, mind you”.  They ask him what he wants, and then interrupt to tell him that he wants something sophisticated “for girls”, cosy and less sparse.  His place does look like a series of cells, so “less sparse” is a no-brainer.  Eddie boils it down to “panty-dropping chic”.

Over at the Blue team, client Obi is all about the energy flow and his brief is boiled down to “he’s super cool and wants a sort of Asian/modern/Zen/feng shui”.  Don’t forget The Force! Teresa is either really dull and is being overlooked by the producers, or is playing one of those boring “under the radar” games.  Either way, when she spoke for the first time I was all… huh?  Who?  Obi has even picked out some ideas from “Elle Decor” (and it’s not a plastic cactus with a sombrero) and they all giggle excitedly. 

The Green team checks out Eddie’s pad, which is summed up as a “disaster area” by Nathan.  The man is harsh!  It’s not great, but it’s exactly that kind of place you get when you have more money to spend in rent than you have time to put together enough Ikea to fill it.  I think we’ve all been there.  Haven’t we?  Preston and Nathan are going to get into a total flirt-off here.  Preston clicks with Eddie’s style (simple, classic, conservative) and it’s obvious that Nathan is totally turned off by the wall-o-shoes right inside the door, but he feels he’s got to persevere with his initial evil “flirt to the top” plan.  Shazia jumps straight in with Preston. 

Back to the Blue team, where Andrea thinks Obi is Burberry and Wisit wants to go “a little bit more Urban – a little bit Kanye West”.  Wisit is also thrilled that Obi likes Asian-inspired furniture, so let’s hope he capitalises on that.  Teresa feels left out.

The Red team is “creating a beautiful haven of good design”, according to Eddie.  Can’t wait to see how that turns out…

The Green team is going for clean, tailored and contemporary.  It’s all about Preston, but Shazia wants to be heard, dammit!  And she’s drawn her battle lines – it’s the placement of the TV!

 Furniture shopping!  Eddie finds a cabinet to fit James’ flat screen – he hopes it fits, but figures that the equation James is working on is “the bigger the screen, the bigger the boobs”, which took me longer than it should have to understand.

The Green team is living up to Nathan’s promises of dysfunction: Shazia’s running around the bedding department screaming “where are you?” and complaining about her voice not being heard (beautiful editing!).  Finally, in a line from Act 2 of “Waiting for Guffman – the Broadway Musical”, Nathan VOs that Shazia is “just, like, Needy Von McNeederson”. 

Teams then head to The Container Store and CostPlus World Market for some more competitive shopping: they have half an hour to spend $1000, according to the white teeth of Wisit.  There’s lots of grabbing of towels, baskets, hampers, and then there are tradie meetings.  Unfortunately it is at this point that Eddie uses the word “cool” to describe his concept of a “faux fireplace mantle”.  No Eddie.  Nothing about that idea is cool.  It is as far from “panty-dropping” as I can imagine. 

Maybe it’s because Nathan has put Christopher Guest into my head, but I’m hoping that the Blue team’s rather casual “no, I think 18 inches is enough” for the depth of the feature “entertainment centre” is going to come back and bite them.  In the Green team, watch for any blame shifting if they lose because of Shazia’s “cornice boxes”.

In the final leg of shopping, the Red team knocks over an ugly vase and tries to dispute the time-honoured “if it gets broken, consider it sold” tradition.  Eddie is incensed that something that would be $5 at a thrift store is tagged at 100 bucks, and I’m sure the shop is similarly incensed that a good promo opportunity for them was squandered by Eddie’s clumsiness.  As he tries to haggle over the price, he actually pulls the “I am the Senior Style Editor at Martha Stewart Living… I am a professional and I work for the best”.  Shazia is thrilled that someone else is taking the fire for once.

It’s time for Tom Oldham, the Design Mentor, to come and give some feedback.  He uses lots of positive language and has obviously suffered through the same “feedback protocols” training as I have (although, unlike me, he doesn’t appear to be bitter about it and is incorporating it into his professional life.  Good on you, Tom!).  “What a nice blue colour you’re doing there!”  “Oh, it’s a sophisticated colour palate!  I like it!”  “Oh, perfect!”  “Great!”   “That’s a great lesson for anybody at home, too!”  See, I’m not even the slightest bit conflicted about appropriate punctuation for Tom!

Wha’?  I thought we already had the last shopping challenge…  Ohhhhhh.  It’s a “Pop Design” challenge (and thank you to the first-time-viewer’s-friend, Natalie, for expositing that “a Pop Design is like a pop quiz – you never know when it’s going to pop up”).  The designers have to create a flower design and the winner will get immunity.  Shazia reallyreallyreallyreally wants to win immunity, but what’s the bet all the contestants feel the same way?  BUT!  Shazia used to be a florist and she’s planning her wedding, so she will totes win this one.  Eddie feels his is perfect and Preston throws silk flower petals all over the place before realising that they are not real flowers (and he hates silk flowers!).  Andrea gets NO feedback from the judges for her very boring, very suburban white flower arrangement and can’t figure out why. 

Least faves for the judges?  Natalie – garish, too big.  Preston – “fails on, kind of on every level! ”

Faves ? Nathan – chic, restrained, pretty.  Eddie – beautiful.

Winner?  Nathan!  Yay!  Shazia hates that he won and thinks Nathan will now sabotage the team to get rid of her.  Paranoid, much?

The teams are back off to finish up their pads.  Ondine starts sticking posters of snakes and other creatures on James’ wall.  She calls this “decoupage”.  I’m not Crafty von McCrafterson, but I don’t think this is actually decoupage.  I do think it’s a big mistake.

Shazia complains that Preston is being a dick, the pad is not really coming together and that the cornice boards are taking longer than she anticipated. 

30 minutes to judging!  Lots of cleaning-product placement aaaaaaand…. time!

Jeff Lewis is the guest judge.  He’s America’s most well-known “house flipper” and a bachelor.  Things I’d want on my headstone. 

They look around the Red team pad while Eddie narrates.  The decoupage looks foul and there is some strange drapery going on over venetians – I know!  I don’t get it – and Eddie passes the credit for the “panty-dropping” phrase over to the client (and I wish I’d stop accidentally typing “panty-dripping”).

Blue team!  Wisit describes their pad as “not something that would embarrass a man among his friends, or in front of a woman”.  So – it’s safe.  Safe and booooooooooooring, although I’m sure Obi can liven it all up with his super charisma. 

Green team (and, remember, Nathan is immune).  Blank faces pretty much all over.  Client-Eddie, however, loves it – except for the paint job in the living room.

Obi likes his.  No, loves it.

James doesn’t express much of an opinion on his place, except that he might throw the decoupaged screens over the balcony.

Judging!

Top design?  Andrea, Wisit and, um, whatsaname.  Sophisticated and practical, warm, rich environment.  They get to go.  Teresa interviews that it was Andrea and Wisit’s win, so is obviously embracing being driftwood here.

Red team – great ideas, but your client didn’t like it.  So, Ondine steps up with the excuse that James didn’t give them a lot of information.  Rewind!  This is the team that was thrilled to have a client happy to “leave it to the professionals”.  Guest judge Jeff tells Red that they need to know a little something about men.  Eddie burns.  And Ondine?  Your wallpaper?  “This is called Top Design, right, not Over The Top Design?  Margaret says that the decoupaged screens would make her question whether this was a “straight” bachelor.  I’d be questioning whether he fitted a serial killer profile.

Blue team.  Basically, they’re told it’s boring and asked to explain why.  Preston steadies himself to throw Shazia under the bus in 3, 2, 1… and – yes!  The cornices.  In answer to the “who was the team leader” question, Nathan and Shazia point fingers at Preston so quickly that he doesn’t even have time to “step up”, which is what he tries to say he did.  Shazia doesn’t realise that she should just shut her mouth and pretty much puts herself right there in the firing line by going on and on and on.  Right from the start of this episode, she’s had the loser edit, so there should be no surprises here.

It’s between Ondine (India: Just for the decoupage?  Jeff: I hate it that much) and Shazia (Preston gets a boost for standing up and taking the team leader mantle… which was shoved onto his shoulders by the rapidly retreating Shazia and Nathan, and the judges are clearly disgusted by Shazia).

“Shaz, we cannot live with your design”.

Shazia’s interview is all about expanding the opportunities for Pakistani women, who are “meant to be doctors, lawyers or engineers, or – better still – marry a doctor, lawyer or engineer.”  Wonder what her fiancé does…

Bye, Shaz.

Line of the night “I was channelling my inner masculinity (giggle)” Wisit

David Heimann - Daily Telegraph

 

David Heimann, the owner of interior stores Orson & Blake has been named host and mentor on Channel Nine’s new reality TV show Home Made.  It is a bold move by Nine as David has no previous TV experience. I am loving there is going to be some fresh talent  on TV this year, this follows on from Channel Ten’s decision to make another unknown Sarah Wilson as host of Masterchef Australia.

The Daily Telegraph  reveals Home Made will have up and coming interior designers competing with each other as they work with real clients – families in the suburbs looking for a professional interior makeover. I am presuming this is an elimination show and the last one standing will win some fabulous prize.

Heimann denies the show is a copy of popular US show Top Design.

He points out that “Top Design only works with sets whereas here there will be real clients,”. Personally I am not seeing a huge amount of difference, but really who cares, Top Design which is shown on Arena TV is a fantastic and entertaining show.

Season 2 of Top Design  premieres on Arena TV on Monday 19 January at 9.30pm. The second series will not have first season host the serene Todd Oldham, but model and designer India Hicks. Todd will continue on as an occasional mentor.

India Hicks

The Futon Critic has an interview with India Hicks about Season 2 where she mentions the differences between series 1 and 2.

“The main different is going to be that we are really designing outside of the box. I mean, quite literally this time. On Season 1 they were designing inside these white boxes and this time we’ve taken our kids out in to real places and real settings.”

The shows sound pretty similar to me. I think Channel 9 could be on a winner with this one.  Oh and if they need volunteers to have their houses  made over, my Ikea chic house could do with a bit of razzle dazzle.