Masterchef – Masterclass, or George and Gary go to the Easter Show)
“Tonight, it’s a change of pace,” the narrator intones. He’s not exactly misrepresenting the Masterclass – it is a change of pace, insofar as slooooooow can be described as “pace”.
Aaron gets the first VO and says nothing of note. George hasn’t got the clueless-judge memo – unlike Gary, he states upfront that Kate’s missing. Sam is spokesperson for Kate and eulogises her appropriately. George seems to have replaced saying “yeah” at the end of sentences with “so” at the beginning.
First, Gary and George are making a snapper “en papillote”. Aaron puts his hand up for the filleting lesson. Maybe the reason he did so badly in the challenge was that he wasn’t wearing glasses. As a full-time glasses-wearer, I am always pissed off with people who selectively wear glasses. Perhaps I’m just envious of their contacts-wearing ability. Aaron returns to the contestants and jumps onto his stool – he nearly misses. I am falling in love with him. Maybe not to the erotic dreams level, but …
As Gordon Ramsay would say “Fuck me – chunky chips”. Anybody who has watched any British TV food show has seen more Chunky Chips in the past couple of years than they need to, yet George tries to sell them as special. In fact, he says “best chips in the world” as though that cute little Brookside starlet Jennifer Ellison hadn’t mastered them on the UK Hell’s Kitchen in 2004.
Eeek – when Andre tastes the fish, he lets some fall off the fork, back onto the fish. I feel sorry for the person who has to taste next. Sandra comes up for a chip and has a good old flirt with Georgy boy.
Risotto time! And George is making up for the narrator’s slack pronunciation by going completely La Traviata on this. Some tips: Never buy your rice cryovac-ed. Don’t stir a risotto, agitate it. Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Okay, only two of these are pieces of advice from tonight’s show. I’ll let you guess which ones. George demonstrates “agitate” and that is SO not how I make my risotto. Will try on Sunday. (Wow – Masterchef is giving me something I can use!) Gary’s making “baby food” to stir into the risotto. The risotto is done and it’s time for tasting: Sandra’s voice says “beautiful”; her face says “meh”.
Gary would’ve done hotcakes with caramelised apples at the show. He doesn’t mention the fact that the Blue team offered no sweet at all. He adds some eggs to his batter for that “luxury” feel. He doesn’t acknowledge that eggs weren’t available to the contestants at the show. I notice that the contestants are all taking notes… except Sam. He’s probably confident of being able to live on the profits of Mrs Sam’s wedding dress sale. Trev looks extremely bored. Tom and Justine look enraptured. Poh tastes the hotcakes and George has the temerity to criticise the size and elegance of the mouthful she takes. George – review the tapes!
Poh reminds us in an interview that they’ve been “doing work experience every week” as though we really should have known that before today, if we’d been paying attention. Seriously, is this the first time we’ve heard about it? The lack of pro experience has been one of my problems with this version of Masterchef – you’d think they’d know better than to hide that light under the bushel of ridiculous weeping.
Revisiting the mystery box. Gary and George are going to demonstrate cooking a steak (these are *cough*allegedly*cough* Australia’s best amateur chefs, but they need to be taught how to cook a steak?) and a red wine sauce. These poor contestants – some weeks they have to “think outside the [mystery] box” and other weeks they’re slammed for not just “respecting the ingredients” and doing a straight-up steak. Who’s to know?
God – George and his bloody underwear fetish! Who’d wear VELVET knickers? Is George a 30 year old virgin? (And, on that, I just googled to find George’s age and had to extrapolate – 27 in 2006 = 30 in 2009. How does Matt Preston have a Wikipedia page and George doesn’t? Please, have a look at Matt’s page. It reads as though it was written by someone channelling Mr Micawber. Thanks to Ed for tipping me off to this.)
Anyway, the steak rests, Sam tastes and is suitably humble about how it compares to his, and everybody is happy (apart from Trevor, who continues to look bored).
Next week! John Torode, from the REAL Masterchef, will try to overcome his shock that such a bunch of rank losers have made it to a final of a show bearing the MC brand.
- Did anybody else notice that the narrator’s plummy tones falter when it came to saying “rasoddo”?
- Lucas either asks lots of questions or he’s the only contestant who asks questions that are intelligent enough to make it through to final edit.
- Anything that grows below the ground goes into cold water. Anything that grows above the ground goes into boiling water. I knew this implicitly, but what a catchy rule!
- Justine is gorgeous. I’m more likely to have sexy dreams about her than about Aaron. She distracted me from George’s rhapsody on peanut oil.
- Is this the first time we’re hearing about the weekly work experience the chefs get? This should be a bigger part of the show than a little bit of interim filler in the Masterclass. We hear that Sandra and Julie would be great chefs, but we don’t see it. Show, don’t tell, Ten!