Category — Dicko

It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it… After not being able to lob onto the first challenge of Celebrity Apprentice Australia Season two, I thought I better hustle to the Celebrity art auction that was open to the public. Oh and try to get a bit of action with The Hoff.

I took my two young interns who had to be sacked, if you think Gen Y’s have issues then just you wait for the Gen Z’s to hit the workforce they are prima donnas. Going by the George Calombaris school of industrial relations I paid them with an ice cream and they still were not happy.

Anyway today it was the Celebrity Art Challenge and it was open to the public.  There was the girl’s team plus The Hoff – clearly they are sharing him around, and the boys team going to head to head in an art challenge where the celebs had made art pieces to sell charity. Whoever wins will have made a motza  for their charity as the prices were high.

What is like on the set of reality TV show? Well basically the shows are made in an editing suite as there was not a lot of action happening on the ground. Just small little vignettes that will be edited into something fast paced. There is at least three days of filming that goes into one episode.

Marion Grasby was project manager for the girls team and Dicko for the men. Like last season to make the money it was all about the corporates. The girls had roped in Staedler the stationery company and the guys had Roses Only, also BSC some sort protein bar turned up with a cheque.

Charlotte Dawson who has clearly found the elixir of eternal youth is looking fantastic – just to show I am an equal opportunity blogger and think of the male readers here is Charlotte looking foxy.

Tania Zaetta also appeared to have dabbled in the dark arts of botox as does The Hoff whose nickname should be the fantastic plastic.  Tania Zaetta must be this season’s villain as there is not a lot else going on there. Though her career does limp along so she must have some fans or a very good agent.

The intern took a photo of Dicko and as I was on a middle aged man rampage also he is the reality TV veteran of the show he has been in four. Even Nathan Joliffe indulging in body art could not turn my head.

However what I did see were the celebrities determined to win the challenge as well as make an entertaining reality show and the viewer should reap the benefit of this.

Celebrity Apprentice Australia Season Two will air on Channel NINE in 2012.

Marcia Hines has finally admitted she did not always tell us what she really thought in seasons gone past on Australian Idol.

In an article in the Sunday Telegraph today she said “I can’t hold back because a lot of the things, musically, that Mark [Holden] would have said, I’ve got to say them,” Hines said.
“I relied a lot on his ears and now I have to say what has to be said.

She has also admitted with the departure of Mark Holden she will need to step up.

Marcia and Dicko were nearly on the chopping as well this season so Marcia has had the make over with botox etc, and will also have to make over her image as a judge. Everybody knew that Marcia never gave any criticism, constructive or otherwise and it was boring.

So to avoid her hitting the underemployment or worse doing promos for late night shopping TV, she is going to have to be more sizzling.

Full article here.

Dicko will also reveal his nasty side tonight when he throws James Sidebottom out of the Top 24 because he does not want to win Idol. This story is obviously planted to get viewers to tune in. James is the not so great looking chiropractor from Melbourne. Full story here.

So You Think You Can Dance – Cirque to Soleil To Be Guest Performers on Tonight’s Show.

The Daily Telegraph says the guests for tonight’s final six elimination show will be performers from Cirque du Soleil. The US winner Sabra Johnson, and Kameron Binks will be in the audience – but will have no part on the show. Which I consider this a ridiculous decision considering Sabra’s popularity.

American Idol performers that have appeared on the show ie. Kelly Clarkson have not overshadowed the local contestants.

Photo of final six with Cirque du Soleil in hard copy of newspaper, with Vanessa with her leg in the air again. Does she ever take a photo without her leg pointing straight to the ceiling?

Erika Heynatz to plug her Single on It Takes Two Tomorrow Night.

Erika Heynatz will sing her new sing Slide on It Takes Two tomorrow night. Her rationale is that the other singers on the show have been plugging their new material so why shouldn’t she? Fair enough.

Link to article in the Daily Tele here.

Australia’s Next Top Model – Jodhi Meares admits how bad she was on last years live finale.
Jodhi Meares admits in an article that her startled live performance in last years ANTM finale “was done under duress”. She does not say whether the finale will be live this year.

She has been in New York last week with the final three contestants. The very popular show will commence on 22 April at 7.30pm on Fox 8.

Article here.

Dicko said Mark Holden Made My Life a Misery
This story is such bollocks. This is the biggest beat up of a yarn in a long time. Shame on you Dicko. Is to get publicity for Australian Idol this year?

“Mark always tried to turn it into pantomime,” said Dicko, pictured, who also admitted he’ll be happy to steal his culled comrade’s trademark “touchdown!” catch cry.

“I was really, really thrilled to come back last year. And this year, now that Holden’s gone, it’s even more exciting,” Dicko said.

“Mark always kept me at arm’s length. I like him. I think he’s an interesting character but he would do whatever he could just to make my life a misery.”

Yawn, yawn, yawn.

Full article here.

The Daily Telegraph today stated that Matt Corby took a swipe at Dicko last night for his comments about this years contestant being “beautiful but boring”.

The already prima donna not yet popstar said after his very underwhelming rendition of
Jamie Cullum’s hit Dry, the 17-year-old turned the tables with a snappy aside of his own, with the quip: “I feel sorry for Dicko. He must be bored out of his mind.”

At least Dicko gets paid to watch the show, shouldn’t he be apologising to the rest of the Australian viewing audience.

Anyway Matt Corby your attack on Dicko was the equivalent of being hit by a leaf of wet lettuce.

It was always going to be a huge night for Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci, but first we had to have them and Dicko go through the walk of shame for comments they had made to the media this week.

Andrew G and James Mathison dressed in Reservoir Dogs type outfits were the ones to give them the interrogation regarding their comments which hit all major metropolitan newspapers. At least the razor was not used like it was in the Tarantino flick to elicit their confessions or contrition.

Dicko was first up. I wrote about his media foot in mouth in a previous post called Dicko Speaks The Fountain of Truth. To summarise he thought the final two were bland and boring.

Tonight that article was projected up giant size on the backwall of the studio stage. With a please explain from Andrew and James.

Dicko who had huge bags under his eyes”Said he cannot remember saying it”, however he did confess to agreeing it was what he thought. ” He said it was not just them, but he thought the final 12 were a bit lightweight, and may find it difficult to stay in the limelight once they are starved of the oxygen of a weekly show.”

So this may have also explained the top 12′s trip to Granville MacDonalds to be taught how to flip burgers.

Next up was Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci’s huge faux pas of calling the winners single “Here I am” a dud. In today’s Sunday Telegraph an article outlined that both Matt and Natalie were not entirely overwhelmed by the song they will release if they win next week.

They both said they had been misquoted – rather unconvincingly mind you. It is a wonder they were not holding their butts after the arsekicking they would have got from both the Idol producers, and Sony BMG. Denis Handlin, head of BMG/Sony, must have choked on his cornflakes this morning when he read it.

Natalie and Matt need to go to Marketing 101 to learn always speak positively about the product you are spruiking.

Anyway after the 1 minute of humiliation it was time to hear the song that had caused all the kerfuffle.

Matt Corby was given the honour of opening the show with “Here I Am”, but first we had to sit through an overview of Matt’s short life.

In summary he has been performing all his life. Was bullied at school because he was in the choir (I thought that sort of thing did not occur at non-govt schools) so he quit, the choir not the school. Then he was in some Youth Community Band which toured around schools to try and instill some self esteem into the kiddies. They did not mention whether this band was christian affiliated, they probably wanted to avoid that as they did no want another week of Today Tonight stories on Hillsong stacking Idol.

After that he came back home, and was rejected by Newtown Performing Arts High School, and he received a scholarship back at his previous school. Matt has already indicated he is not going back to school so he can pursue a musical career.

Finally the song. Well these winner’s songs are always unisex anthems, but Matt really looked like he was not enjoying singing it, therefore it was really boring. Even he was falling asleep singing as at least half the time his eyes were closed.

Next up was Natalie Gauci with the story of her life. She too has been performing since very young, and had a semi impressive tv, and singing portfolio. This year she actually released a self funded EP and was invited to New York to perform it.

Natalie’s first song was “Apologise” by Timbaland. I had never heard of the song, and found it hitting both of Dicko’s descriptives of boring and bland.

The Confidence Coach then interviewed John Rowe, movement coach, Erina, voice coach, and John Foreman, musical director about this years Idol.

This girl is never going to take over from Parkinson. John Foreman said that Matt had had a semi nervous breakdown – well John called it a confidence crisis- midway through the series, but now he was starting to put together some good performances.

I wonder if this crisis came when he was bottom two that time with Ben.

John Rowe said “They needed to find their star quality” Which would indicate he thinks neither has achieved this yet.

Matt then sang a cover version of a cover version called “High and Dry” Apparently a British jazz singer Jamie Cullen covered this Radiohead song.

Carl Risley must have been wondering where wardrobe had been hiding Matt’s shirt, it was perfect crooner style. It was a black with a sequin open tie in a style like George Clooney wears in Ocean Eleven films.

Again I was completely underwhelmed by his performance it was beyond mediocre. And that movement coach must not be earning his money with Matt as he is always on that chair. To quote the great Iggy Pop “I’m Bored”.

When was this show going to pick up?

Well it started to with Natalie’s rendition of the fabulous Kate Bush song “Running Up that Hill” which she did a great job with.

I thought she looked good in black pant and a jacket, which would be perfect for the Dr Who party I have been invited to, I would be able to dress as a dalek, rather then breaking out the shammy’s to dress as that warrior princess Leila.

Matt Corby then sparked up with a good rendition of “Mines Eye” by Wolfmother, it was the only time all night there was any enthusiasm from him. Mark Holden loved it and gave it a standing ovation. His way of saying I want Matt to win.

Matt’s look confused reality raver for quite a few minutes. I had thought that Sheridan Tyler had hit new lows in the wardrobe department by slinging a pair of sunglasses around his neck, however Ravers sidekick pointed out that it was part of the design of the tshirt. Duh.

Andrew G and James announced a new concept, the Winners Journey Tour, which the winner will do throughout Australia to be joined by different final 12 contestants throughout. It starts on January 4 in Wollongong.

It was then Natalie’s turn to sing the winner’s song “Here I Am”. She did a much better job with it, and I quite liked it. Also she looks fantastic in red. The audience seemed much more enthusiastic about it.

Now they and us have to wait until next Sunday to find out the verdict.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been liking Matt less, and less, and I am trying to decide what he would hate more – winning and having to sing the winners anthem over and over to publicise it, or whether his ego would be crushed by not winning this season as everyone is expecting. So at this stage I have not decided how I will vote.

Today in the Daily Telegraph Dicko said what a lot of Australian Idols are thinking – that the final two this year are a tad boring.

Matt Corby fired back and said “If you don’t like it don’t watch it”.

Um Matt that is exactly what people are doing with ratings down this year, and don’t delude yourself it is because you are up against Kath and Kim on Channel 7.

Though Dicko should think about that old adage “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.

Gosh at what time tonight did Tarasai’s mum wish she had migrated to England instead of Australia. The judges on UK Idol would not have been as vicious to her baby daughter as they were tonight.

To be honest I thought the Daniel Mifsud “fake” comment had been a bit of a beat up to try and improve ratings for the show. The “fake” fighting between the judges in the previous weeks had not worked, now they needed a bitch fight between the contestants to liven things up.

However after seeing Dicko lay into her, which in part of would have been his anger and frustration at getting poor reviewsin his role as judge for ‘Next Great American Band’, I thought wow you really don’t like her maybe this is not a beatup. More on Tarasai’s performance later.

Tonight was Aria night, which meant they all had to sing a song by an band or artist who has received an Aria nomination, not necessarily this year. I noted not one of them picked a Wiggles song. I reckon Marty could do a good rendition of “Hot Potatoe, Hot Potatoe” as it is in his limited range.

Also as part of the deal, the Idol’s also got to spend a day in the recording studio with Mark Holden in his role as a producer. He may be an egomaniac but he defiantly knows about voice and performance.

The beef I had about tonight’s show, was last week because they were down to six contestants they had to sing two songs each. However tonight because Channel 10 were screening the Arias from 8.30pm it was one song each , and it was the first time all season that they actually finished the show on time?

Speaking of the Arias congratulations must go to the marketing manager of Chupa Chups who has ensured their logos were saturated throughout the Arias coverage, clearly they know their target audience. Probably sponsoring the after party as well.

First up was Matt Corby singing “20 Good Reasons” by Thirsty Merc. Mark was all over him in the recording studio, however did talk to him about his vibrato. He used a Warne analogy saying he does not bowl the same balls all the time, he mixes it up, and that is what Matt should do regarding his voice.

Mark could have also said “Mate if you piss off that pentecostal saving myself until marriage shit you too could bed a 1000 women like Warne has done”.

I got to confess Matt looked like a rock star tonight I could not say he looked hot for ethical and moral reasons, but he did look great.

Tonight they were again allowed to play instruments, Matt again took the opportunity to play the piano with no band backing.

He did an ok job, but was clearly nervous and did not look up from the keyboard, so performance was about a 1 out of 5, which was a pity as his voice sounded good. He admitted nerves got to him and he did not play very well.

I would not be surprised if he was in the bottom 3 tomorrow night.

Next up was Natalie Gauci with “Boys In Town” by The Divinyls. Brave choice, as Chrissie Amphlett is one of the great if not greatest Australian rock chick ever. However Natalie pulled it off brilliantly, not sure she needed to get on top of the piano, and even received a touchdown from Mark.

Natalie looked better then she has in weeks, even her mum was critical of some clothes choices, however the makeup team oops I meant the Head and Shoulder confidence team are able to cover up chronic acne on Ben’s face, but could not disguise a whopping zit on Natalies chin?

Also the big earrings she had on made her look like she was wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

Marty Simpson sang “These Days” by Powderfinger. Mark kept on raving on about how great Martys voice is for recording. This was one of his better performances, but by three quarters the way through it I started drifting off, as it still was a bit of a one dimensional performance.

Apparently Mark Holden teared up through it. What was that all about? Kyle thought it was great and emotional.

Marty said ” Kyle you do have a soft side.” Kyle responded “Yes it is my midsection”. I would suggest also a bit below that as well may be permanently soft, and that is why his alleged fiance former reality tv find, Tamara Jaber, is over in LA, not just for her non existent singing career.

Tarasai then came next to receive the biggest caning I have seen in the five seasons of the show.

She sang “When I Fall Apart” The Veronicas. She was with Mark in the studio, the day Daniel bagged her out on Today FM. So she was mad, so Mark told her to channel the emotion into the song.

The ironic thing was she was in the studio saying ” I am not fake” so unconvincingly she looked fake.

Fast forward to Sunday night. I thought she looked great, the hair was straight, the outfit was good, and I even enjoyed the song. This is from a person who would have loved to have seen her eliminated at least 2 weeks ago.

Kyle started off with a ‘I know the real you, I know you are not fake, but show the real person type speech’ which went on for about 5 minutes.

Then it was Marks turn, he called her a fake, she was really offended, and then Dicko waded in boots and all, and said it was another fake performance, and basically continued to kick the poor girl when she was down. If she had been a dog the RSPCA would have been called.

Then over to Marcia who for the first time in forever I would have liked something nice to come out of her mouth. But she just said ” Nothing she can say” and put her hands in the air. So no Sista, Girlfriend, I really dug you type speech. Very strange. Marcia must not like her. Unless they were threatened by pay cuts if they went over time tonight, and the other judges had used the time. Tarasai was obviously trying to keep it together until the ad break which she just managed. And good on her for telling them she was greatly offended.

Was this genuine from the judges or was it a fake stunt to improve ratings, because of the huge reaction of the viewers to the Daily Tele blog on this issue. I think she will get the sympathy vote this week and cling on for another episode.

Last was Carl Riseley with the Little River Band and “Reminiscing”. He too had a strange hand movement ala Daniel Mifsud. Maybe this is what the movement coach is teaching them or maybe this is what happens if you stay away to long from your girlfriend.

His song was like a Mike Walsh Show flashback (since I remember the show this would indicate why I cannot comment on whether Matt Corby is hot) it was trite and weak, compounded with some very bad boogieing.

I was very disturbed when I started thinking Carl was really very cute. What was going on I had only drunk non-alcohol beverages this evening. Would I need to call in those pentecostal re-educators who reeducate people with homosexual tendencies. Where they put wires on your brain and when you start reacting sexually to photos of naked men they zap you. In my case they would just use Carl’s photos and videos to assist with the brain washing process. So then upon seeing him only negative thoughts would prevail. I don’t want to think a clean cut, mildly talented, and socially conservative guy is cute. This is a clear indication on the poorness of quality in the males this year, when this bloke is emerging as the Alpha male.

Bottom three will be Carl, Marty and Tarasai. With Marty to go home.

The Daily Telegraph today reports that the popularity of Dicko has hit new heights with a Facebook page created called Monty Bloggers who lust after Dicko.

The article Dicko is a Sexy Bit of Crumpet? outlines how men and women would both like to do him. Very disturbing. The Daily Tele clearly wrote the article as a good opportunity for them to plug their Australian Idol Blog. Is this really mainstream news?

I think this whole episode highlights the evils of Facebook.

Other Facebook pages soon to appear:
Girls that would like to pray with Matt Corby;
People who would like to see Marcia give an honest opinion;and
Fans of Andrew G’s hair.