Rachel Zoe celebrity stylist, and reality TV star is looking particularly scrawny on the beach of St Barts. How she or her husband can find this attractive is beyond me.

Rachel Zoe has always denied that she has an eating disorder. However one of the funniest scenes in Season 2 of The Rachel Zoe Project was when her doctor asked her if she was eating enough. Rachel started stuttering, and looked anywhere but her doctor, as she choked out an affirmative answer. Her husband Rodger just sat there and said nothing.

I think the better question would have been “What are you eating?” A girl cannot live on Starbucks alone.

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Previously, on The Rachel Zoe Project: Rachel tried to get a product line off the ground; Taylor doubted that such a product line would ever happen; Brad went to Paris; Rodger existed.

The Zoe crew is back in LA and Brad is celebrating with a pair of snug shorts. “I think you forgot your pants” says Rachel. Brad thinks they will give him the ability to get through his mountain of work quicker. And what does this mountain consist of? A fashion shoot for V on the theme Xanadu. That must be why Rachel’s wearing a retina-searing gold sequinned top!

Rachel’s pleased to be doing another V shoot because V is “ultra high fashion”. She thinks doing such work gets her out of the mould of red carpet stylist, so she is desperate for a model for this shoot. Remember when people used telephones and would hold an imaginary phone to their ear when recapping a phone conversation to a friend? Rachel’s doing Blackberry thumbs as she tells Brad how much she wants Jessica Stam for this job. Brad is all OMG wow and she’s even Canadian like me (which… really? I’ve never heard him say oot, or hoose). He’s even more excited when Rachel tells him there’ll be three boys in the shoot. It’s all aboot Brad, isn’t it?

Well, yes it is, since neither Brad nor Rachel has even spoken to Taylor since they got back. Apparently she’s not returning Rachel’s calls. This means that Brad is going to have to “prep” this with all the legwarmer and lurex headband magic he can muster. Rachel informs us that these fashion shoots can happen at a moment’s notice, which seems rather a strange way for these fashion people to do business, doesn’t it?

“Well, hopefully this shoot will be a Xanadu and not a Xana-don’t.” Oh, Brad! You Canadians are so funny.

Taylor’s all Raybanned up an listening to her messages from Rachel. She groans theatrically as each message starts. Seriously, Taylor, Rachel’s still your boss! If you want to be so WTF about her calls, quit already!

Brad’s hitting the streets to get prepped for Xanadu. Having decided his earlier shorts were just not short enough, he’s changed into an even briefer pair which he’s matched with a body hugging polo shirt. I guess that’s probably a look that will impress the sales assistants at American Apparel. High fashion, indeed. He’s pulling wrist bands and leotards and is “happy that there’s a huge 80s revival happening right now”. Well, that makes you a fashion follower rather than fashion forward, no?

A sales assistant appears brandishing a present for Brad. It’s a pink T-shirt with the slogan “Legalize Gay”. Brad’s initial reaction – “Oh, that’s cute!” – turns sour when the gift is accompanied with a marriage proposal.

Back to Taylor. “I don’t wanna spend my time moaning and complaining, believe it or not.” I choose to… not. She’s set up a meeting with Rachel. What will that bring? Rachel perches nervously on the arm of the couch. She tries to slither out of responsibility for Taylor not going to Paris and if Tay continues to roll her eyes that much, she might bring on an episode of vertigo. Rachel does nail it, though, when she reminds Taylor that all the staying back in LA/going back to LA stuff is her choice (she’s kind enough not to mention that Taylor often bitches about doing the very things she’s bitching about not getting to do, now). Rachel wants to know what will happen. “I want to segue into branding and if that’s not going to happen… I’m going to leave.” Okay, then, she’s said it.

So, what’ll it be? Rachel envisaged having a company the size of Martha Stewart but it hasn’t happened yet. There’s been a financial crisis, dontcha know? “Now, we finally have contracts signed, as of, literally, two weeks ago. I’m going to QVC. I’m going to start working on my fragrance…” It seems odd that Rachel’s only just telling this to Taylor, given that she interviews that she is well aware of the level of frustration held by her assistant, sorry, associate. Taylor seems mollified but there’s an underlying bitterness as they say goodbye.

Next morning, Rachel and Taylor are actually in New York City. I have to admit, that surprised me as I was totally expecting it to be an empty set of promises. I mean, a Rachel Zoe fragrance? Smells like literally. Rachel’s worried that if this doesn’t work out, it will be curtains for Taylor’s association with the company, or so she tells Rodger just before heading off to a pow-wow with her erstwhile assistant, sorry, associate.

Meeting. Taylor wants to know what she should do in the meeting. RZ tells her to be honest; to let her know if the fragrance smells like dog poo. Givaudan Perfumiers is the next stop. The Zoe crew meet the noses, who have set aside some of the fragrances they know Rachel loves. Rachel loves the smell of chicken nuggets? I guess if you’re not eating them, you might as well smell them. As it happens, the nuggets are actually amber, so I lose on that one. They also have sandalwood, rose, tuberose and all of this meets Rachel’s approval. The first combo has been tentatively named “Eau de celebrity”. No, really – they’ve even printed a label for it. It’s too “citrus”, apparently. “Red Carpet” is very strong and elicits a “holy crap!” from Taylor. “Fashionista” has them gagging, so it looks like the fourth one will have to be the charm. “Hollywood”, thank god, is deemed “really pretty”. It might give you further basis for evaluation if I point out that Rachel follows this judgement up by noting that she used to “douse” herself in patchouli oil when she was at college.

Back in LA, Brad’s still prepping for the V shoot in his short shorts.

Rachel and Taylor are off to QVC to check out the range and the set. It’s as kitsch as you’d expect and the girls adore it. In fact, it’s seen as BA-nanas. The QVC hostess is decked out with one of the scrappy rabbit fur vests and they’re all thrilled. In all the interviews, Rachel is insisting on how great it is to be working with Taylor; for her part, Taylor seems to be finding the new responsibilities to her liking, however for all her talk, there’s a distinct lack of evidence that she is actually having input into decisions.

The NYC sojourn is over and our stylists have discovered that they only have 48 hours until the V shoot. “It’s a clusterfuck” is Rachel’s assessment. “48 hours prep time is basically like 48 minutes.” Regardless of whether that’s true, or even relatively true, they’ve had more than 48 hours already, so SHUT UP! You said it could happen at “a moment’s notice” and you have 48 “moments” by even your own tortured calculations!

Along with the American Apparel accessories, Brad has managed to pull five looks from Vuitton and another five from Marc Jacobs. His biggest coup, however, is that he’s got his hands on a Gucci tunic.

Did you all remember that Rachel’s sick? Well, even though that storyline was left behind after the “Rachel’s sick” episode, she’s still suffering. Rodger is as sympathetic as a spouse would be when they know that the patient has completely disregarded the doctor’s advice.

It’s the male model casting call for the V shoot. Brad is taking polaroids of shirtless hipster boys, none of whom look very 80s gym bunny. Body types have certainly changed. Rachel calls for more boys and there’s a knock at the door… whoa! Here comes Leandro and he looks as though he’s just come from a workout. Rachel becomes a blushing mess and decides that one man will be enough for her shoot. She even gets a souvenir photo taken.

Mr Zoe is in town for a night and they make the dullest small talk about his flight, his seat, how hideous travel is. Then Rachel starts talking about how sick she feels, which sets her off on how under pressure she is and it seems ridiculous that, instead of delegating the excess work to Taylor, she’s seeing that as another responsibility: keeping Taylor happy. That relationship is extremely destructive. Dad seems lovely and his good old dad words push her towards weeping.

Everyone is en route to the shoot, with varying levels of enthusiasm. The vertigo’s become a migraine for Rachel; Taylor’s “in a mood”; and Brad’s in danger of having his “I love shoots!” bubble burst by all the negative mojo around. The model, editor and photographer arrive and look a bit underwhelmed by Rachel’s vision for the shoot.

Leandro’s getting warmed up on a fit-ball and Brad comes in to discuss what he’ll be wearing. “I thought it was Speedos” is what I think Leandro says, although that might just be my brain overload from too much Tony Abbotting. He (Leandro, not TA) squeezes into a pair of shiny black pants and a matching jacket. Fortunately, Rachel decides to jettison the jacket. This guy really is quite the hotness, although a wider shot shows that the pants make him look quite bottom heavy. In fact, he looks as though he has saddlebags.

Taylor pulls a string leotard from the rack: “What is this?!”. “You could’ve worn it if you’d come to Paris,” says Brad. Oooh, how will Taylor react to this? She tells Brad that she’s not mad at him for going, since that was her decision, but she’s mad at “somebody” for putting her in the position of having to make the call. I wonder who that “somebody” might be…?

More exercise equipment, more wardrobe changes, more hairdryers. “This shoot is going so sloooow.” Oh, Taylor, I agree. She and Brad try to liven things up a bit by messing around with bunny ears. Jessica looks bored as they horse around. “You do one shoot, you do ten million – they’re all the same.” Taylor wonders if she’d be fired if she just walked off. She asks Rachel if she can go and the answer is no. Brad asks. Same response. Then Jordan and another few random shoot people ask. Everyone’s laughing. Everyone, that is, except Taylor.

The shoot’s over. Rachel is in an “I love my job” frame of mind. Taylor? Not so much. Not only does she not love her job, she hates her life. The next day, she’s cracking the shits in the studio when her parents drop by. They are sweet – it’s obviously lovely parents week in Zoe land – as they pitch in to help pack up. They’re trying to talk it up – “This doesn’t happen all the time, though, right?” – but Taylor’s in no mood to be jollied out of her funk.

“There’s a lot going on that I don’t approve of. At all.” is how Taylor starts her discussion with Jordan and Brad. She pulls the hierarchy on them and walks off chuntering about how nobody respects her authority. Whatever. Just use the word “segue” again, Taylor, I need another drink.

Doctor’s office. The doc is very snazzily dressed today, which answers my “what kind of doctor agrees to having their consultations put on a TV show?” question. It’s less of a medical consultation than an intervention, since Rodger starts in on “what do you think’s going to happen if you run yourself into the ground?”. I think he’s just worried that he’s going to have to do some work if RZ Inc falls apart. “You have to change your lifestyle!” insists the doctor. “My job is killing me. That’s it! I’m done! I feel sick. I can’t do it any more.” Looks as though the intervention has worked, but what will series three be like if it’s just Rachel convalescing on a chaise longue with lucozade?

There will be changes! Outlined at a meeting with Brad and Taylor! Brad greets Rachel affectionately and Taylor sort of snots her way to a chair. Great – she’s going to make this all about her and her inability to take her glasses off “because I don’t want to”. Rachel introduces the “changes” theme and Taylor is visibly surprised. It’s as though she thought she was always going to be calling the shots and now… well, the boss is being the boss. Sort of – Rachel hands over to Rodger to go through the nitty gritty. “As you know, I’m still involved with my company,” he begins, which is news to me. Anyway, he’s going to take over the business side of RZ Inc.

“I’m starting to get nervous, because Rodger is super serious and now he’s our boss,” is Brad’s reaction. Rachel makes no bones about the fact that it’s more about Taylor than Brad, since it’s well-known that Taylor’s unhappy in her job. Instead of just sacking the snotty brat, Rachel goes the other way and makes Taylor “head of Product Design” or some such thing. Taylor? Is really happy and uses the word “segue” again. Drink!

Brad will be in charge of styling. Rodger is a problem solver. Rachel’s still the boss. Hmmm.

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Previously, on the Rachel Zoe Project: RZ was the world’s least effective boss; Taylor had the least enviable task since Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son; Brad was the world’s least sensitive colleague.

None of that matters, though, because… Paris! “I’m so excited for Paris” says Rachel. Yeah, lucky Paris, having you and your entourage there. She’s brought five suitcases for six days and is worried that she won’t have enough to wear. Rodger thinks it sucks that Taylor’s not there and Rachel admits that she should have been more of a boss in managing that.

Brad’s unpacking, carefully, because he likes everything set up like a “fig”? Is that a thing? Or did I mishear?

The Zoe crew is going through the schedule. RZ says “it’s all work” but it sounds like all fun. Ungaro, Lacroix, Vuitton. It’s important that Rach and Rodg are together – Paris is, after all, their town.

First show: Lacroix. Lots of lace. It really is 1982. “Embroidery. Crazy cuts. Bows. It is Parisian chic at its finest” is Brad’s take. Rachel assures Christian Lacroix that he makes women looks beautiful. I’m sure he’s relieved. Rachel notes that she’s been to Paris, like, 100 times and she still doesn’t know where she is. “You don’t know where you are when you’re in LA!” says Rodger. Now I know what his job is – to deliver a spot-on one-liner once a season.

Ungaro. Another ’80s revival. Brad’s hoping that the diamante leggings will be “a trend everywhere”. God help us. It’s all “so Cameron”.

Back in LA, Taylor’s mournfully going through the clothes racks. She reminds us why she’s there: Demi and Jen. “I wanted to go, and I don’t usually want to go to anything.”

Joey and Rodger are taking happy snaps in the boulevards. Joey’s obviously only there to keep Rodger company – he’s Rachel’s proxy.

Brad and Rachel are off to Chanel – not just to the retail outlet, but to visit the apartment! Marie-Louise
de Clermont-Tonnerre greets them with a jacket for Rachel. “I feel like these are the doors of heaven,” breathes Rachel, who takes up Coco’s position on Coco’s lounge. Taylor would’ve been loving this. Rachel’s having an “I can’t believe this is happening” moment.

Rachel’s previewing the collection at Giambattista Valli and is trying on a fluffy peacock jacket. It really is bananas. En route to Stella McCartney’s shows, Rachel reminds us that Paris is a beautiful city. Once at the show, she tells us that she did her senior thesis on John Lennon and “I literally DIE for Paul McCartney”. While she’s doing that, Brad’s trying to find his seat. I was hoping that he’d be left off the list – why include this sequence otherwise? – but no. He’s in B61. Rachel needs EVERY SINGLE THING from Stella IN HER STUDIO, RIGHT NOW.

Sightseeing. Then shopping. They get to Didier Ludot – Rodger is looking nervous. Particularly since Rachel is trying to assuage her guilt over Taylor’s absence by buying her something expensive. Brad’s trying on a vintage leather trench coat which is “beyond! OOC”. Rachel helpfully interprets this as “out of control” for Didier. She is trying to convince Brad that he needs the coat, which is clearly a little out of his price range, so she offers him a raise.

Back in LA, Taylor’s trying to sort out an ad campaign. It’s actually Brad’s job and the client doesn’t like any of the dresses he’d sent over. “It’s a complete disaster!” says Rachel aaaand the chest pains are back. That massive Starbucks she was drinking would be exactly what I’d prescribe to relieve hypertension…

As Rachel predicted, Taylor is pissed off when she gets the email asking her to sort out Brad’s mess, although he has also been told to pitch in. “I’m going to have to work while I’m in Paris” says Brad as he heads off to pull dresses in Paris for this ad client. He’s gone to see Erin Fetherson to see what they can find. On the other side of the pond (and then across the country), Taylor is making sure they have “like, 50 thousand options”.

At the John Galliano show, there is no “where’s my seat?” drama, but lots of snow flurries and dramatic lighting. The clothes look like traditional wear from Eastern Europe, apart from the sheer black number and the platforms with pom-poms. “It’s just every girl’s dream!” says Rachel, who apparently had a “fashion orgasm”. Rachel finally makes her way through the “clusterfuck” to meet John Galliano. Once she’s gushed to him, and introduced Brad, music starts which seems to be the cue for Rachel to start raiding shoe boxes that are straight from the runway.

The next day in LA, Taylor’s managed to placate the client. Is she feeling satisfied, now that she’s managed the crisis so effectively? “I’m extremely unhappy right now… with my job.” So, that’s a no.

Chanel show. “I would have really loved it if Taylor was at Chanel,” says Brad, somewhat insensitively. Rachel: “Literally die watching his show. Every time.” Maybe that’s what Rachel’s mystery illness is? In fact, she’s suddenly struck by nausea in the presence of Karl. “I literally felt, like, vomit coming up,” she tells Brad after her little bit of face time with Karl.

Rodger’s bemoaning the fact that he never gets to see Rachel during fashion week. “If I didn’t come with her, I wouldn’t get to see her,” he interviews, while Rachel and Brad sit down for coffee to debrief over the Chanel show. She’s emotional because she’s given Brad “his first Paris”. She hasn’t forgotten Taylor, though. Oh, no – they both miss her! That’ll make up for Brad having his first Paris before she does.

Brad phones her the next day to thank her for “helping us with the ad job”. Helping? Try doing the ad job. Argh, he’s being a tool. Taylor asks what shows they’ve been to and he doesn’t say, “oh, Ungaro, McCartney…Chanel”, he hits her straight away with “Chanel… The whole place was completely packed except for the seat next to me was empty and I kept pretending you were there.” God, Brad, as if that’s going to make her feel better.

Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton. Brad and Rachel are trying on the bunny ears. “Every single piece in that show… was perfection” Rachel tells Marc. At least she doesn’t vomit on him.

Rachel returns to the hotel with Taylor’s present. Oh, and a jacket for herself. Then she stabs Rodger in the eye. In return, he gives her a photo album, since he is now, apparently, the “official RZ Inc photographer”. “Honey, you’re a really good photographer!” says Rachel, betraying quite a bit of surprise given that she must be the person who’s made him official photographer.

Taylor’s parents have come to visit her in LA. She tells them that she’s annoyed over the Paris situation and they seem to think she’s being impatient. Taylor thinks they’re taking Rachel’s side. Dad counsels her to have a sensible conversation with Rachel; Mum seems to have styled her look, and personal warmth, on Anna Wintour.

Back in Paris, Rodger’s trying to get Rachel to eat snails. Joey has a crack at them, but Rachel refuses to. Their Paris sojourn has come to an end – they drink a toast to themselves. Then one to Taylor. That’ll make up for her missing the trip, I’m sure.

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Previously, on the Rachel Zoe project: Taylor was, if not disgruntled, then lacking a certain gruntlement; Brad took his dog to the canine spa; and Rachel felt sick, but decided that she didn’t want to see a doctor.  Perhaps she doesn’t have insurance…?

Taylor returns to the studio.  “What’s happened?” asks Brad.  Rachel is really, really sick,” says Taylor.  “Yes, but exactly what’s happened?”  Brad tries to get some clarification, but Taylor just keeps brushing him off with “she’s really sick”.  “Will we have to wheel her around to fittings?”  asks Brad.  “She might just die,” is Taylor’s response.  If Taylor really thinks Rachel’s seriously ill, she should have taken her to the hospital.

Rodger has done just that – he’s taken Rachel to a medical centre.  She describes her symptoms to a woman in a white coat.  It boils down to feeling dizzy and nauseous, so maybe PinkPatentMaryJane’s diagnosis (eat already) is apt.  “The thing I hate most about going to the doctor, is… everything.”  She even freaks out about having her temperature taken with one of those little  ear probes.

“I think you’ve got vertigo.”  Shock on both Rachel and Rodger’s faces.  Did they think the doctor said ebola?  Um, no – they just don’t know what vertigo is.  The doc explains it and I think she realises that saying it could be resolved really quickly doesn’t fit in with the drama these people require, so she does let them know that it can go on for ever.  Now, I’m not saying that vertigo isn’t hideous; I’m just really surprised that they haven’t seem to have heard of it.

“I’m being punished,” is Rachel’s verdict. Um, what?  She thinks the Doctor’s prescription – decrease the stress – is the one thing she can’t do.

Rachel phones the studio to give Brad and Taylor the news.  Taylor obviously has never heard of vertigo either, but I think Brad has – he screws up his nose in disappointment, then tries to clarify whether it’s a “designer form – like Vertizoe?”.  At least Rachel’s able to reassure them that she’s not going to die.  She’s not exactly taking a positive view, though – she seems resigned to the fact that it will be a chronic condition.

We see Rachel at home in a bathrobe and she says she’s able to relax in the knowledge that Brad and Taylor are holding the fort.  We cut to Brad, who is whingeing about the workload at “camp Zoe”.  He pops into a number of shops to pull shoes and accessories.

Doctor’s orders don’t mean much to Rachel – she’s taking a meeting with Christos, the owner of a vintage store.  She’s ready to part with some of her 25 year collection, but she “wants to tell a story with it” and to raise some money for a cancer charity.  Christos suggests an exhibition, with merchandise.  Merchandise!  Of course.  It could be classy, and QVC.  It seems to be going well, until Rachel asks how many pieces he would suggest.  “Oh, four to five hundred,” he says, casually.  “What?!” screams Rachel.  Now, this doesn’t seem to be the quiet time the doctor ordered.  Apparently she had 50-60 pieces in mind.  They do a quick audit of her jewellery and she concedes that she probably has about 1000 pieces.  It’s going to be a “process”.

Rachel’s sister has brought her kids and some old pictures over so they can put photographic evidence with the jewellery for the “exhibition”.  “This should never be seen again!” exclaims Rachel, over a photograph that she then shows to the camera.  Way to hide the evidence, RZ.  We see a few pics of Mom Zoe who would “go out shopping with literally 50 pieces of jewellery on”.  “I’m trying hard to be a little less of a workaholic and spend time with family,” says Rachel, completely missing the fact that this is a completely new project she’s taken on in her so called “down time”.

She heads into the studio to make sure that Brad and Taylor have Paris fashion week under control and tells them that they will both be going.  Taylor says she’s excited, but we all know that she’ll get there and bitch about how she’d be getting so much more work done back in LA.  Brad’s excitement is genuine; Taylor is doing quite a good job at bobbing up and down in a sincere way.  Could it be sincere?  Perhaps - she and Brad are getting along like a house on fire, with Taylor even offering to help Brad out with Annie’s forthcoming events.  This is what going to Paris does to people!

“Babe!”  Rachel’s call to Rodger is plaintive.  She’s discovered that she has three jobs on while they’re all going to be in Paris.  Oh, noes!  Rodger interviews that Rachel’s a “people pleaser” and we all know what that means: pleases no-one.  She can’t face letting either Taylor or Brad down, so decides to send an email and let them sort it out in a cage fight.  She’s hoping that Brad will see that Taylor deserves it, and do the honourable thing.

Back in the studio, Brad’s being all snippy and wants to discuss the email with Taylor later.  Taylor interviews that she thinks Rachel wants Brad to “step up and stay behind”, which shows that she actually does know how Rachel works.  Taylor calls Rachel, does the whole “how are you” thing and then gets Rachel to say that she wants Brad to stay behind.  That’s more ammo for Taylor, but really?  Rachel’s the boss and should be the boss here.

Taylor tries to raise it with Brad and he – sensibly – says that he’ll do what Rachel wants him to do.  “She’s the boss!”  Taylor now sets it up as though it’s a “test”; that Rachel’s done it on purpose to see if Brad will man up and give up on the Paris trip.  He’s understandably pissed off and calls Rachel.  He wants to talk to her face to face and when he asks her if she’s got time for that, she says “to be honest, I don’t” and hangs up.  He’s devastated.

Rachel and Rodger are at the fundraiser and she’s overwhelmed by the exhibition, particularly the photo montage.  She even sells her lucky Rodger-catching necklace!  “Penny Reeves – actress” is admiring some of the pieces and seems thrilled to have La Zoe there to provide styling advice as well.  The woman from the cancer foundation is really happy to have Rachel’s support, and Rachel is very generous, offering further help.

Brad comes into the studio to learn that Rachel’s emailed Taylor to make the decision on Paris.  This is because she “doesn’t like conflict”.  Rachel’s a generous donor, but a hideous boss.  Taylor tells Brad that he should go to Paris.  He’s not as grateful as she is expecting, since he senses a trap.  And so he should – is does seem as though she’s being extremely generous, but she’ll be a total martyr about it later on.  Look, I think that Brad is right to feel pissed off with Rachel, but I’m a bit surprised that he so willingly accepts the trip from Taylor.

Marisa and Rachel are using Bing (product placement!) on their laptops to search for flights and they are interrupted by Brad who arrives for a meeting.  He tells Rachel how he feels and she tells him that he wasn’t set up.  She explains her thinking, and… she totally set him up!  The whole “great to see Taylor excited about something” line is pathetic.  But – “Paris will be there next year,” she concedes.  ”What would you do if the tectonic plates shifted and Paris did actually go somewhere?”  Oh, Brad!

Next week: Paris!

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Previously, on the Rachel Zoe project: Rachel was thin; Rachel was worried about being thin in the press; Rachel modelled for Marie Claire; Taylor cracked the shits. What’s in store today?

Rachel announces that Taylor will help Rachel out on a Glamour shoot “using only the products from Piperlime“, and then Rachel will help Ashton out on a webisode of the Blah Girls. Brad can’t help, because he will be too distracted by AK’s hotness. Poor Brad. And Ashton.

Piperlime’s on the phone and Rachel’s talking jeans. She doesn’t like skinny and she keeps on and on about what jeans she likes, whilst Brad and Taylor mug in the background. Rather than show amusement at their antics, she seems cross that she gets no respect from her assistants. Once the phone call is over, Brad and Rachel try on clothes from the Piperlime boxes, which Taylor thinks is a habit that distracts from the actual work. Rachel acknowledges this, saying that she wants to work with Taylor on the Glamour shoot because “Brad and I are like Dumb and Dumber a lot of the time”.

At Katalyst films, Rachel embraces Ashton and admires an acolyte’s glasses. Jessica, the web consultant, is along for the ride. They all sit around at a boardroom table to discuss the plot: Rachel will be styling the Blah Girls for their prom. One of the characters is written to be looking at an 80s look, which Rachel thinks is great: “That’s totally on point”. They quickly decide that another character will be 60s and the last will be 70s. Not so “on point”, then. God, seriously – they are talking about animated characters that are even less detailed than the South Park kids and yet they seem excited that they have managed to “style” them.

Next morning, Rachel gets up and gives Rodger a bowl of fruit. “Thanks babe!” She tells him she’s not feeling well: tired and queasy. She’s a pro, though, so won’t pull out of the Blah Girls commitment. She presents Jason with the dresses for the characters, but she seems to have screwed up which girl is which. It’s all green screen, so Rachel’s trying to get her head around chatting with imaginary people. Jason, somewhat snarkily, implies that this should be easy for her. She actually seems to do quite well, although it might have taken several more takes than we’ve seen.

Taylor’s prepping the Glamour shoot and Jordan’s helping out. She interviews that fashion has always been her passion, but that her current role is so full on that she can’t get the brain space to think about what she really wants to be doing. It’s clear that this is not it.

Back at Katalyst, Rachel’s recording voiceovers, but she’s struggling to capture her own voice. That’s bananas! Jason’s trying to pull out all the catchphrases. If I were RZ, I’d be wanting a little less eye-rolling from him and a little more support.

Joey calls Rachel: “What’s up biatch?” He thinks she sounds like a crazy mess and she confirms this by taking half a dozen calls while she’s talking to him (oh, and driving the car). It’s Brad, then Taylor, then Parke. She assumes that Brad has “20 questions… Parke has more work and Taylor’s pissed about something”. Oh, she knows her people.

Piperlime Glamour shoot. Taylor checks the brief and interprets that there could be about a dozen shots, but Rachel – managing her client’s expectations – talks them down to three. The body language of the magazine staff indicates that they don’t necessarily agree with her call on hair and makeup, but will suffer it.

The shoot is on. For those of you taking fashion tips from this, the look for a weekend on a yacht is stratospheric platforms. How deliciously practical!

More Taylor interview: “After three years of grabbing dresses… for Rachel, I’m over it!”.

Looking for a “Boho for work” look? Knee length boots, leggings and a very 1995 Isaac Mizrahi-style vest.

Taylor phones Brad. She just wants to have a whinge about how long her actual work is taking. She asks what Brad is doing and he’s at the dog groomers. He looks overly dressed up for the tasks, but that’s Brad.

Why is it that when Brad makes a joke about Rachel talking to invisible people it’s cute, but when Jason did it, it crossed the line? That’s right – it’s because Brad’s cute. We see the webisode and it looks pretty unoriginal. There’s a scene where a character delivered a cow – as in gave birth to a cow – but it’s very “out to shock” with no real wit. Rachel is filled with even more admiration for how Cameron managed to act in Shrek. Of course, Princess Fiona was completely animated and Cameron’s an actress.

Ashton’s on the phone from Atlanta, cooing over Rachel. Brad interrupts to check on whether Ashton’s run into any of the Housewives. AK pretends he doesn’t watch, but Demi calls out in the background that he’s lying.

Taylor’s having lunch with Brooke. “I’ve been really loyal… I haven’t grown… I’ll always be a glorified assistant.” She feels that the promises of branching out aren’t being met. There’s a flashback to last season and… wow! Taylor looks so different now! Brooke counsels her to look at what else is out there. “You can be one of those people that complains… or you can do something about it.” Good advice – I think Taylor’s spent enough time complaining and not doing anything.

She returns to the studio fired up to have a chat with Rachel but Rachel’s “so sick”. Really sick, or just not wanting to have this conversation? She says she’s shaking and nauseous, but doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Taylor and Brad try to jolly Rachel into actually seeking some help, by telling her how they’ll style people for her funeral.

“I’m fucking falling apart,” says Rachel, as she staggers out with Taylor.

Taylor calls Rodger and tells him that they’re coming home. Once Rachel’s settled on the couch, Taylor calls somebody and asks if there’s anything they should do. Like, see a doctor? “I’ve never come home from work in my life!” Taylor offers a cold compress. Taylor’s got sunglasses on to hide that she’s feeling emotional. Rachel says that if she had kids, she’d leave them to Taylor, “because you’re my blessed jewel”. Awwww. Earlier, Rachel talked about managing client expectations. As far as managing viewer expectations go, I hope they realise that they’ve played this so hard that anything less than a serious illness will be a let-down.

And… that’s all folks! Talk about cliffhanger! What’s wrong with Rachel? I’d say that “we’ll find out next week” but I have no faith that we will.

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Kyle Sandilands Still Does Not Get It

Kyle Sandiland has said to OK Magazine that the whole 14 year old sex scandal interview is not his fault. I don’t get why he doesn’t get it. It is not ok to inquisition a 14 year old on radio about her sex life, particularly if her mother is listening. The Daily Telegraph also express their disgust.

Carmen Parnos Interviews Lynton Pipkorn For Her Superleaders Website

Carmen Parnos interviewed fellow The Apprentice contestant Lynton Pipkorn for her Super Leader Blog. Lynton was eliminated in the breakfast cereal challenge.

Did Rachel Zoe Fire Taylor?

For those who watch the highly entertaining The Rachel Zoe Project  will know that Taylor this season was getting fed up with her job, and it would appear she has finally left. However Dlisted who picked up the story from People mag is trying to say Taylor got fired.

Hayley Warner Now Idolised, Before She Was Bullied At School

The Daily Telegraph has an article where top three Australian Idol contestant Hayley Warner talks about being bullied at school, as well as being more likely to be found at church then partying.

So You Think You Can Dance Romance Whilst On Tour – What Goes On Tour Does Not Stay On Tour

People says a couple has emerged from last season’s on US SYTYCD top 20. It is gorgeous salsa dancer Janette Manrara, and contemporary dancer Jason Glover.

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Kelly and Regis a popular morning show did this spoof of Rachel Zoe, it was funnier then I thought it was going to be. Only for people who are watching the show.

Also for the “fashion forward” here is a list of ten items Rachel Zoe says are must haves for Autumn. (Cupcakes and Eggplant Blog)

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Previously on the Rachel Zoe project: air quotes, tears, mini-meltdowns, overconfidence, under confidence, glasses, contacts and moleskin inserts to protect the delicate skin of Anne Hathaway (who clearly deserves her skin protected far more than, say, a mole does).

Rachel and staff go through the Oscars press and are cooing over the A+s that Anne’s getting until Rachel spots this in the NY Post: “pin-thin stylist… flipping out”. Cross promotion?  No, nasty journalists! she fumes. Taylor tries to get a Zen thing happening but the set of RZs jaw and the tip-tap of her fingers tells us that she’s not going to let this go in a hurry.

In fact, she gets Rodger on the phone to vent. He tries to talk her away from the edge: “Just forget it, otherwise they win” he counsels. “They” being the “blogs” and other people who don’t know the truth. The truth!

Hair and make-up gurus Byron and Tracey have scored a coup – Rachel is hosting their salon opening and Nicole’s coming! We get a little bit of a tease about Rachel’s falling out with Nicole, but no real gossip. Taylor’s decision to be wear a leopard cocktail dress is apparently more interesting. We cut to Taylor, who confirms her dress choice and advises Brad to wear something slutty.

Rachel needs a new outfit for the party, so she heads to A Little Vintage to try to deal with the Rodger-imposed spending freeze. “I think a freeze? Is a little bit drastic. I think Rodger and I can compromise.” To Rachel, compromise means five things instead of twenty things. It doesn’t mean actually talking to Rodger to negotiate.

Parke, Rachel’s manager, phones regarding a Marie Claire story on fashion on a budget. They want Rachel to model for it. She looks as though she’s being told she’s going to be offered as a live sacrifice, but agrees to give it a try. Fashion on a budget – somebody had better tell her what that means.

Back to the party planning and Brad uses the word LOVE for Mary Kate Olsen at least half a dozen times in the one sentence. He appears to be sincere. Surely not?

Rachel’s on her monogrammed laptop auto-googling for bad news. She commits a basic PR fail by repeating all the sordid allegations that have been made about her in the past: starving clients, dealing drugs… well, you can google for the rest of it. Rodger’s trying to be patient but struggling to find a way to offer constructive help. He advises her to get a thick skin and sensibly points out that there is a lot of good with the bad. And then he sets the kitchen on fire. Just when he shows a spark of intelligence, he falls apart over a hot pocket.

It’s the Marie Claire shoot and Rachel is petrified. She loves creating the look, but not modelling it. Naturally she turns to Brad for support. Well, not just Brad. She has Adir for hair and Byron make-up; Brad’s there for the pose-striking. Rachel decides that she’s not only going to be the model, but the art director as well. She offers a slack-jawed response to Brad’s suggestion that she ties her hair back. Brad’s trying to style her, but both model and stylist acknowledge that it’s Rachel in control.

Taylor’s in the studio with Jordan working out the returns from the Oscars and she uses air quotes to describe Brad’s role on the Marie Claire shoot. In a neat edit, we cut to Brad who is explaining to the Marie Claire staffer that he is stylist on the shoot in name only. As an added bonus, we get to see pics of Rachel at college, pre-colourist and make-up artists.

Rodger is lunching with Jessica, a web consultant. He says he’s been sitting on the sidelines hoping that “it will get done”, that it would “take care of itself”, but that it hasn’t. “It” is Rachel’s media strategy, I think. Now it’s time for him to take the reins and manage the “digital team”. Oh, and to recruit a digital team.

Back at the shoot, Rachel has agreed to the hair back and is posing awkwardly in a green garden setting. Brad’s nervous – apparently it’s not going well. Rachel feels as though she’s having an “internal heart attack” – is there any other kind? – and Brad is settling into his role as shoot jester. She starts to feel the love from her posse of gay men, and tries a sexy look which is really just an aggressive underbite. While she changes into a baggy brown dress, Brad grabs a blonde wig and clowns around doing a Taylor impersonation. Sure, it cheers Rachel up, but then he MMSs it to Taylor who predictably cracks the shits.

The shoot is over, but the day’s work isn’t: Natalia-the-supermodel needs a dress for a party. Brad abandons his true love, MK, and leaps head=first into warbling his infatuation with Natalia who is “all the woman I want to be”. They squeeze her into a shiny silver dress and enormous heels and she is a pretty good sport, showing Brad some “French Vogue” poses to mess around with.

Brad wants to chat with Taylor about his outfit for the party, but Taylor has decided she doesn’t want to go. “I don’t like interacting with people” she says. Why does she wonder why she’s always stuck in the studio with clothes? “Taylor! That’s why you’re called bailer!” cries Brad.

Rachel’s being made up and doesn’t know what she’s going to wear to the party yet. She’s thinking red, chiffon, low-cut, Halston but it worried that the tabs will write about how skinny her chest is. Joey uses the “if you change your behaviour the terrorists have won” psychology and it seems to work better from him than when Rodger tried it earlier.

Brad was super-excited about his outfit for the party, but is less enthusiastic when he realises that Rachel’s outfit of choice will look very matchy – a red dress to go with his red blazer. Impersonating the Claus couple wasn’t his aim for the evening. He leaves Rachel to dress while he tries to style Rodger. “I would describe Rodger’s style as… straight. It doesn’t matter what Rodger wears, since people just talk about his hair.” In a good way, apparently.

Taylor is still coming/not coming/coming and the others are trying to maintain an interest in her fickleness.

Rachel comes out in a shapeless sack but Brad advises her not to wear it since she’s been getting so much – ahem – stick over her size. She then tries the red dress and the guys all acclaim it… until she turns around and shows her bony back. So it’s a no. “And now I’m stressed and late, stressed and late.” Brad calls out that he’s had a text from Marisa and the press are asking where she is. He’s not even joking. She finally emerges in a shiny, sleeveless number and looks pretty good.

They arrive at the party. Brad’s having fun and Rachel comments that he “enjoys after work parties more than he enjoys work”. That’s worthy of observation? Doesn’t everyone enjoy parties more than work?

“Nicky Hilton, Jordana Brewster, Tori Spelling, Lisa Rinna… who else do you need at your party?” Is that a rhetorical question, Brad, because here’s an answer you might not have been anticipating: Nicole Ritchie. How is this a surprise? It was only mentioned 40 minutes ago. Anyway, at least now there’s somebody at the party who’s skinnier than Rachel.

1 Hot Stylist, 3 Hot Trends – the Marie Claire issue is out and both Rachel and Rodger are happy with the spread. Rachel, the woman with her own TV show, says she’s never going to be comfortable seeing pictures of herself in magazines and I echo her statement: “Whatever”.

If you are reading this article on TV.com please come across and join the discussion and check out my blog on www.realityravings.com

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New York City, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Still?

There are five days until the Oscars and RZ is in panic mode. We recap the taffeta “train option” that Armani’s people have developed for the Anne Hathaway dress. Rachel is adamant – NO. And, seriously, it’s hideous. It looks like Lady Di’s wedding dress.

Train number two is much floatier and lighter, but still very long. It’s sparkly and Rachel describes it as “literally, it’s a breath of [loud exhale]…” Breath? Well, here’s a person who uses the word “literally” properly.

Brad is being given the “Annie” responsibility for Oscar day. Taylor will be pissed off – she’s helping Liv find everyday clothes, once she finishes styling Jennifer for a shoot that doesn’t show any wardrobe… Oh, she’s also styling Demi for the Oscar party she’s hosting with Madonna, so that’s probably a biggish deal. Taylor’s chosen a jersey-ish black number that looks like something a teenage goth would wear. It has zips up the sleeves.

It’s time for Marc Jacobs fashion show – Rachel’s running late and Joey thinks she should make an effort to be punctual given that she missed last year’s show. We get a recap of Rachel and Rodger poring over the New York Magazine website after that debacle.  This year’s hold-up seems to be that Rachel wants to wear pants. At least, that seems to be Joey’s interpretation of events.  There’s an attempt to build some drama over the time, but it’s in vain. She makes it to the show. And she likes the fucking frocks.

Back in LA and Rachel seems to be wearing a tunic and a coat over pants. There are four days until the Oscars, but Liv needs her day-to-day wear so Rachel doesn’t really care about Taylor’s whinging over the In Style shoot. Rachel pulls half the shop and brandishes a sheer black number that will apparently become Liv’s go-to outfit for running around with flip flops.

Brad knows he’s up against it with the Oscars, given how much of a clusterfuck the previous year was. I love Brad and I hope he does well, but I will be disappointed if the only sobbing breakdown turns out to be that clip from last year. Fresh drama, Brad!

Liv’s coming to try on clothes and, for some reason, Brad’s assisting with the fitting. I’m starting to wonder exactly what it is Taylor does? Liv’s excited that she has so many clothes to choose from. If she has any sort of problem making decisions, this is not going to be easy. Rachel really wants her to get a little red dress but it’s a bit… meh. We find out that she’s never owned a leather jacket and attributes it to growing up with her rocker dad. Rachel would love to have a crack at Steve Tyler’s closet, for some reason. “Your body looks… ba-nanas!” says Rachel, when Liv emerges in a real va-va-voom number. But then she also tells her she looks great in a saggy, baggy playsuit which is exactly what you’d hear from a Supre salesgirl if she was on commission.

Rachel’s freaking out that Brad might not be up to handling Annie. Rodger tells RZ that “it’s not surgery” which is SO true , but also SO irrelevant, and will SO be used in court if there’s ever a divorce hearing.

We cut to Brad who is freaking out a tad over the fact that he only has one seamstress for Annie’s fitting. Taylor calls in and asks Brad to help her out with some things for Demi and she thinks he’s giving her attitude because he can’t help. Rachel needs to sit these two down and tell Taylor to wake up and realise that Brad’s not her bitch.

Rachel has had an urgent call because Annie needs another dress for a surprise dance number. Rachel wishes she’d had more notice, but… “surprise dance number”, Rachel. Literally! They now seem to have TONS of red carpet gowns, but nothing a gal can move in. Rachel pulls a fluffy looking ball dress but wants more options; Brad’s all “eh, this one will do” which is interpreted as not caring.

Rachel is with Taylor for the In Style shoot so Taylor takes the opportunity to diss Brad about his “attitude”. Oh, god, Rachel – please review the tapes before you attack Brad on Taylor’s say-so. Of course, Brad’s probably going to melt down anyway, since he’s just discovered that he only has an hour to fit with Anne. Rachel wants Brad to get more time, but the “more time” is going to be earlier rather than later and that just won’t fit with Rachel’s schedule.

Joey suggests just heading to American Apparel and sending Annie down the runway in a hoodie. As Brad and Joey work through this idea – you know, having fun, trying to get through the stress – Marisa-the-downer walks in. Rachel manages to get back for the Armani fitting but she missed the dance number dress fitting and this concerns her, despite Brad’s assurances that it was all good.

“When Annie put on the Armani without the train… it was just perfection!” Wow, so, Rachel, are you admitting that the designers actually KNOW what they’re doing? Who’d've thunk?

Rachel now confronts Brad over his brattitude. Of course, they end up having a laugh about it – RZ differentiates her “passive aggressive” tendencies from Brad’s “snarky”.

Taylor’s got the In Style shoot sorted so is back to pulling jewellery for Demi. She wants to “drip her in diamonds by the yards”. She expresses her relief that this is her one responsibility for the Oscars, so why doesn’t she cut Brad some slack?

It’s time to choose clutches. It’s important that the client can hold it comfortably, and fit their “personal items” into it. Of course. While they’re bonding over glittery purses, Rachel tells Brad to take some Immodium for the Oscars. I think that crosses boundaries. It’s all laughy laughy and then Brad starts to cry. Did I miss something?

Brad’s dancing around, demonstrating how jewellery might ruin the “surprise number” dress. He’s been at rehearsal and has Hugh’s steps down. All is cool, until conversation turns to undies. Jordan has broken out the “undergarment” but she couldn’t get it in the right size. Rachel’s calling it a disaster and blaming Brad, since he’s Jordan’s “boss”. There should be an org chart – that might help Taylor, too.

Rachel calls Brad and Jordan’s not in at work yet, which is – of course – Brad’s fault. Do you think he’ll remind Rachel of this if Taylor’s late? Jordan is hopeless, though, trying to pull the old “wow, I’m half an hour early! You said 10!” when she comes in at 9.30. We’ve all tried that. Nobody’s ever been fooled by it.

“THE ENTIRE WORLD WATCHES THE OSCARS!” Rachel wants to know why Rodger is always so calm. There are so many possible answers to that question that it’s impossible to settle on just one.

A bowtied Brad is on his way to the Oscars. While he’s driving, he calls Rachel to let her know that there’s a “disaster” with Annie’s performance dress – the tulle is irritating her skin. Rachel suggests moleskin and Brad says it’s under control. So, perhaps not such a disaster. Perhaps Rodger can give Brad some “tips” on stress control.

Red carpet. Rachel is on the couch with Rodger and Taylor, crying “where’s Annie!” plaintively. Rodger makes appropriate “wow” noises. Rachel thinks that Brad’s dream has come true, but I would have liked to have seen some tears and discarded Immodium packets.

Brad got to see Zac Efron, which thrilled him, and managed to restrain himself from doing the “Single Ladies” dance in front of Beyonce. The bracelet didn’t catch on the tulle! Mission accomplished!

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Despite the bad timing of NY Fashion Week – just before the Oscars – Rachel insists on going to fashion week “because of the global economic crisis”. She’s all about the philanthropy. Only fashion week can save our capitalist system!

Armani is in the running for Anne Hathaway’s Oscar dress and Rachel has to tell Brad not to try it on. Following her success with altering the Dior dress for Cameron at the Globes, Rachel’s keen to convince Armani to add a train to his spangly gown.

Anne’s going through further Oscar options, just in case Armani doesn’t come to the party with the train. A fuschia number apparently didn’t do anything for the boobs, a red number was nice but NQR, and Joey and Brad want Taylor to model the cream number. She looks as though she is willing to be talked into it, but I think Brad’s comment that “you should try it! You’re having a skinny day!” changes her mind.

Thompson L.E.S. Hotel hopefully has rooms for everybody this year – Taylor will definitely crack it big time if she has to share with Brad yet again. Rachel has shipped her six trunks ahead and they are waiting for her in the penthouse. Rodger has a sugarless Red Bull in hand and is trying to get something happening on the bed. Rachel interviews that he is neglected “every year during fashion week” and to that I say “only during fashion week?” Rodger is the poster boy for neglected husbands.

Marisa runs through Rachel’s schedule: blah, blah, Armani, QVC… Oh, yeah, shill the QVC range.

First show – Rag and Bone. Rachel’s all over the black leather leggings – I’m sure that’s made the Report – and sees a perfect “preview” dress for Eva Mendes. Smooching with David Neville and Marcus Wainwright afterwards, but no Oscar gowns.

Taylor’s pissed off because she’s going to have to spend the whole of Fashion Week styling an In Style shoot with Jennifer Garner so she won’t get to any shows. Rachel’s oblivious to her frustration, seemingly convinced that just being in New York during fashion show is reward enough for her offsider.

Brad and Rachel are off to a DVF preview. Brad explains that designers do this because they want to see Rachel’s stars in their clothes. “Every piece is a friend” explains DVF herself. This is possibly code for “nothing screams new”. There’s a totally eccentric Astrakhan style hat, but made without furs – DVF has used pompoms. Rachel tries one on and looks like a poodle with mange. Or scabies – I get them confused. Rachel loves the collection and that’s because it all looks like things she already wears. In fact, it looks like a fabulous vintage store, that doesn’t smell of mothballs.

Talyor’s pulling clothes and accessories for the In Style shoot. She prefers to “prep” in LA. D&C, Marc Jacobs, Chanel – is she going to these places or are we just seeing signs?

Marisa’s following up the Armani alterations and, as yet, there’s no word on whether it’s going to go ahead.

Rachel’s headed to Matthew Williamson’s boutique opening but she’s afraid her dress is two feet too long. Brad’s suggestion of a change of shoes is ridiculous. I mean, Rachel wears shoes that almost put her in space, but two feet? Rachel models some options. “I’ve never travelled with somebody who travels with their whole closet and still has nothing to wear” says Lorenzo, who is captioned as “Brad’s friend”. In the end, Rachel goes with the two-feet-too-long dress. I hope somebody steps on it and gives us the full Jennifer Hawkins.

A happy reunion with Lindsay Lohan sparks lots of paparazzi flashes, particularly when the two women pose with Williamson in the middle and both are trying to hoik up dresses so as not to let any nipples slip.

Rachel’s making it a priority to spend at least a few hours on Valentine’s Day with her husband. She orders everything off the menu “just like Richard Gere” and gives Rodger some cufflinks. He wants a massage and she wants to go shopping. Ro-man-tic!

Rachel and Brad are en route to the house of Armani. Rachel says they’re giving Giorgio a huge thank you for all his support over the years. Apparently asking him to change one of his designs is a gift to him. He’s charming enough to say that it is, indeed, a gift to work for such a star. He’s subtitled, and he says “for Kate, or Anne” and I’m wondering if that should have been “Cate”.

Taylor’s at Resurrection, still trying to find stuff for Jennifer Garner. She wants outfits that run through the “whole gamut of Jennifer’s emotions”.

It’s the Matthew Williamson show – “cool-lookin’ street style”, says Rachel, who immediately brightens up at the sight of a gold gown, which says “premiere or film festival”. Still no Oscar gowns, though.

Taylor’s having coffee with Joey the hairstylist and she’s gone with a much deeper shade of tan than really works in New York. She’s agonising over “growing in her position”. He tells her that she needs to sit Rachel down and focus her on a discussion on the “product line”. “I don’t even know if there’ll be a product line!” wails Taylor.

Rachel grabs a black coat that she proclaims “bananas”. “I think you’ve got that” says Rodger. Oh, Rodger, a girl needs more than one shiny black jacket.

Tiger J Apparel is the potential partner for Rachel’s line. For some reason, Rachel takes Marisa to all the meetings. This gives me some insight into why Tay was so snarky at Marisa last week. Tiger J wants to start a line of faux fur in Rachel’s name, which she is surprisingly excited about. Rachel tries the entire line on. David of Tiger J says it will take four weeks to tweak the design ideas – Rachel’s talking about an October launch, which seems a tad late for a winter range.

Rachel sits down with Taylor to bitch about how difficult it is finding Oscar dresses. She’s planning to go to Marchesa tomorrow – if there’s no joy there, it’s going to be pulling dresses out of arses time. Eeew. Taylor decides to take the opportunity to share her frustration over how fashion week is working out for her. Then she announces that she’s going back to LA and that she’s “never coming back to New York. Ever”.

Brad, on the other hand, is having a ball. He’s pouring out Veuve Cliquot and boasting to his friends about how well he’s doing with Rachel. They rather insensitively remind him of what a sooky la la he was last year. He manages to jolly Taylor out of her funk for a last ditch party, but first she has to be sewn into a leopard skin dress. They dance like a group of very uncoordinated people.

Next day – Taylor’s really doing it. She’s really, really doing it! She’s in the limo on her way to the airport and Brad already misses her. Awww.

It’s very Star Wars – Marchesa, you’re our only hope! Rachel sees a gown that is so amazing, she drops to a whisper. Brad sees something that’s very “Annie” – hang about! Isn’t Armani changing his gown?

Back in LA Taylor’s setting up the collections for the shoot. The retail assistants seem very agreeable to the idea that all of their stock is about to be “pulled” on spec. No wonder Taylor likes LA. Bomp, bomp… Taylor gets a message the confirms that the shoot is really hair and makeup only. I guess she could always pop a shoe on Jennifer’s head. She vents to Brad and WTFs to camera.

The Armani dress is in, and is accompanied by four of Armani’s best people. They are authorised to deal with the “train options”. There are two options. Everyone holds their breath as the box is opened. “It’s like a fashion fairytale come true!”. The taffeta option doesn’t sit well with Rachel. She’s right – it looks like a curtain attached to a dress. What will she do? Tune in next week!

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