A big thank you to Rosie for her blogging of the latest series of Survivor. You have no idea how grateful I am Rosie. Now over to her recap:
And as ever, we start after last week’s TC. This time, Wodney wants to know why Carolyn didn’t tell him she had an idol. I keep asking myself, can he really be this stupid, but he continues to prove that yes, yes he can. Mike is still feeling very alone in the game.
Reward Challenge. Their families are here! Mike’s mum, Rodney’s dad (although he keeps calling his dad “brother”, causing my eyes to roll like crazy), Will’s wife, Carolyn’s husband and Sierra’s dad. It’s one of those obstacle course… collect tiles… puzzle thingies. Will actually puts an effort in, as does Rodney. But does either of them win? You’re kidding right? Mike wins, and good on him. He gets to bring his mum, Debra, back to camp for the night. He lets off a bit of steam to her about how the others have ostracized him, and she helps him to feel a little better. The next morning they get a clue for the upcoming immunity challenge. Both of them are taken to the challenge site, where they get 30 minutes for Mike to be blindfolded, and led through a maze by Debra. She gets it wrong and feels really bad. Of course our Mikey, being a proper gent won’t tell her she stuffed up, so all is well. Maybe…?
Immunity Challenge. Yep, it’s the maze where our players are blindfolded. (However did you guess? 😀 ) They start in the middle of the maze, and must find a set of medallions near each corner. Once those have been found, they must work their way back to the centre where they will, if they are lucky, find the immunity necklace. Of course the person who finds it, wins it. Jeff tells the others that Mike had an advantage. But doesn’t tell them that it was a pretty useless one, as it happens. The others all try to help each other, to beat Mike. Way to make him feel good! But…. Mike wins again! Yay!
Scramble time. And there’s some serious scrambling today. Mike chats with Carolyn and Sierra, both of whom want to get rid of Rodney. They say he’s lazier around camp than Will. Plus, he’s RODNEY! Mike says he heard them plotting against him during the challenge so needs some sort of guarantee. Sierra says she and Mike had a bond in the past, and she’ll 100% vote Rodney tonight. Mike joins Rodney in the hammock and Wodney asks what he’s thinking. Mike tells him it will be between him and someone else. He tells him the girls want him out, and Rodney says something about “those broads” being hilarious and carries on talking nonsense about them. Yep, you’re gonna have no trouble finding yourself a woman once this airs, Wodney…
Tribal Council. Dan, being a child of 4, seems to be sulking, choosing to answer Mike’s pleasant smile with a pout. Gawd, you were voted out 3 days ago, for fuck’s sake! Jeff asks Mike if he’s the swing vote and Mike agrees. I’d say he’s in a straightforward power position right now. Rodney says he swore his vote tonight on his sister’s life and… I’m sorry, I don’t get how your sister being dead can have any possible effect on your vote in a television game show. What am I missing here? On to Sierra, who says she works hard around camp and is playing hard. Jeff says being good at challenges isn’t necessarily a plus at this point. Maybe not, Jeff, but winning them sure is! Time to vote. We see Rodney vote for Sierra, and Sierra vote for Rodney. Jeff reads the votes: “Ciara”, Rodney, Sierra and Sierra is joining the jury. Dan is stunned, although I don’t for the life of me understand why. Carolyn appears to be quite upset. Sierra tells us these people are all liars (well duh, they’re playing a game for a million dollars, darling) and she’ll take it as a compliment because she is a strong player. Hmm. And ha! Carolyn is quite the little actress, since she voted for her! 😆
Immunity Challenge. The last one for this season, and therefore, it could be said, the most important. It’s one if those…yawn… untie knots… obstacle course… puzzle pieces… yawn… Will wins! Nah, just kidding, in fact he all but dies, and I’m amazed Jeff doesn’t call Medical over, his struggle for breath sounds so horrendous at times. Feller hasn’t got any fitter during his stay. No, immunity is won by………Mike! And in one of the best bits of the night, the other three contestants show Mike some respect and have a group hug before Will places the necklace around his neck, instead of Jeff doing it.
Scramble time. Mike and Carolyn are having a conversation at the same time as Rodney and Will. Mike tells Carolyn he won’t vote for her, he’ll vote for Rodney, which will mean it will be a tie, and will therefore come down to a fire making challenge. He tells her she should get the flint and other fire making gear and do some surreptitious practice. She does, but can’t get a flame going. Zounds! She tells Mike, and even gets a bit teary. He tells her she needs to relax.
Tribal Council. Jeff congratulates Mike on definitely making it to Final 3. Oh my God, Dan is still all pouty! What a pathetic little wuss he is. I do feel for the people who have to live with him. Even as the others talk about putting the necklace on Mike, Dan continues his poor behaviour, with the eye rolling and face pulling. Of course it’s getting him plenty of camera time, so I guess he’s achieving his goal. Then again, is his goal really to look like a childish, fucking idiot right across the world? To the vote. We see Carolyn vote for Rodney and Rodney vote for Carolyn. Jeff reads the votes: Rodney, Carolyn, Carolyn, Rodney. The jury laughs as Jeff announces there will be a fire making challenge. And the excitement! Sorry, did I say excitement! I meant total mind numbing boredom. It goes on…and on…they break flints…they get new flints…someone slits their throat in an effort to enliven the proceedings until finally! We have fire! From Rodney… but it’s okay, because Carolyn has flame too, and what’s more, hers is bigger than his and stays that way until she wins the challenge! Phew! I don’t know about you, but I feel as though I need a cigarette, and I gave up smoking over 30 years ago! Rodney swears, mostly at himself at this point, and leaves. However in his ‘to camera’ spiel, he calls Mike a scumbag redneck who’ll get what’s coming to him. To be fair, he does say he’s found peace about ten minutes later. But he doesn’t apologize for the things he said about Mike.
Last day at camp. Will says he is relieved there’s no more strategy left and says he has made all the moves he had to make. Pardon me for asking the obvious question here, Will, but what moves would those have been? Oh! I get it. You mean you moved from the sleeping area to the eating area to the challenge… Moron.They eat their fancy breakfast. Carolyn seems to think this has been a season of gamers, although I can’t really agree with that sentiment. Mike has felt alone in this game. He knows now that he can go over or under or even bust through any walls, but is worried that a lot of people don’t like him.
Final Tribal Council. Jeff congratulates the Final Three. Oddly, they don’t get to make opening statements this time. So we swing straight into the jury’s questions.
Joe is first. He congratulates them, then goes on to say, in a weird little performance, that his vote is open and that they’ll have to earn it. He tells Will to man up and own his game, tells Carolyn to own her game and asks Mike to prove he did more than win challenges.
Hali asks Carolyn how being seen as the “mama” was a disadvantage. Carolyn tells her it meant people 25 years younger than her didn’t see her as a player, but she played hard in every challenge.
Rodney starts by asking Will how he kept it real to solidify his position. And that, boys and girls, is what’s known as a Dorothy Dixer.;) Will says he’s very giving and shared his food. He says he has a relationship with everyone on the jury except Shirin. Rodney moves on to Carolyn, asking if she made any moves in the game because he didn’t see any. She said eliminating Tyler was a big one, and working with Mike to vote out Dan was another. Rodney has no questions for Mike.
Tyler is up next, and does his best to tear Mike a new one, in a polite Tyleresque way. He tells Mike he put them all on the jury, in one way or another. (Shouldn’t that be cause for congratulions? Sounds like excellent play to me.) He says he saw Mike as paranoid and looking to destroy everything he touched. Pfft. Mike obviously feels bad at this, because he responds by saying he failed at the social side of the game. He even says he sucks at it. But he says he has a good social life at home, with people who love him. And yes, Mr Creepy, Dan, has the audacity to shake his head at that. He’d know as much about Mike’s social life as Will would about Shirin’s private life – nothing! Tyler then switches to Carolyn, telling her he’s gutted that she betrayed him, and asks what she can do to redeem herself. (Drama queen, much?) I’m liking Carolyn more and more, as she replies that he was her most difficult vote. She goes on to say that Survivor makes you do things you may not always be proud of, but if you don’t do them, you’re sitting on the jury. (My husband suggests I quiten down in there.)
Sierra asks Will which traits from the other two did he wish he possessed. He says Mike has a good work ethic, but he doesn’t like his approach. What, taking women away from your verbal abuse? No, I can see why he wouldn’t like that kind of approach. He says Carolyn took time to analyze things.
Jenn tells the Final 3 she has no issues with any of them, so she turns and addresses the jury. I was holding my breath for a Sue Hawke “rats and snakes” speech, but she was a little more restrained than that. She says that half of them are the most bitter people she’s ever met in her life, and angry at people who’ve played better than them. She says Mike is the only one who outplayed, outwitted and outlasted, and if they are the super fans they claim to be, they’ll vote for him because he deserves it. Wow.
Dan tells Mike that Colby proved that winning immunities doesn’t get you the win. Oh I dunno. I think Colby showed taking the wrong person to Final 2 loses you the win. Had Colby taken Keith instead of Tina, the million dollars would have been his for sure. But he was a man of his word, so only won the hundred grand instead. Back to the current version, Mike didn’t care about the jury, but he’d better care about them tonight because there’s no necklace to save him. At this point Mike asks to make a statement. He apologizes to Dan for what he did at the auction. He says this goes beyond game play and he hopes they can be friends again. Dan asks to speak again, and says thats the most real thing Mike has said to him since the auction. He is grateful for that.
Shirin is grateful to Mike for protecting her from Will’s verbal abuse, saying that was a million dollar moment for her. She then, oddly, goes on to say she made her first million dollars by the age of 25. What the…? She tells Mike that that doesn’t necessarily mean he has her vote. She then, even more strangely, goes on to compare Mike to a howler monkey, saying he will fling faeces in your face. Lucky this wasn’t on at dinnertime! She goes on to say Carolyn is like a stingray because she will sting you dead if she senses danger. Of Will, she says he is the dead fish they dragged in with their nets, and will poison you from the inside. She says everyone wanted to take Will to the end because he is a dead fish with eyes that are glazed over.
Time to vote, and Jeff reminds them that this time they are voting for a winner. We see Jenn vote for Mike, Rodney for Will and Sierra for Carolyn. And then Jeff takes the votes back to the US. He reads the votes: Mike, Will, Carolyn, Mike, Mike and Mike wins! YES! Will leaps up to hug him, and then Mike leaps into the audience to hug his mum. Jeff hands him his million dollar cheque, and he hands it over to his mum. Sweet boy.
Reunion show. Now, I am in no way fully recapping the reunion. But I do just want to mention the bit from the beginning where Jeff asks widdle Wodney about his assertion that had he made Final 3, he’d have won, no question. So Uncle Jeffy asks the jury members to raise their hands if they’d have voted for him. And just 2 hands pop into the air. Two. Not quite enough for a win, little one.
Jeffy does spend an adequate amount of time rubbishing Dan and his pathetic excuses for his poor behaviour towards women, but an inadequate time (IMO) slicing and dicing Will. He spends no time at all reprimanding Rodney, even bringing him in a (very tiny) birthday cake.
So that’s it for Season 30. We ended with the 20 selected for Season 31, and they include Joe and Shirin from Season 30. Carolyn was not selected, which I thought strange, and neither was Max, which I didn’t.
So that’s it for this time, see you all in the funny pages.
Rosie is back with the latest recap of Survivor World’s Apart. Over to Rosie:
Happy, happy, happy. That’s me after watching this one. Why? Read on to find out, she said mysteriously. That is, of course, if you didn’t watch the show, because those of you who did will be just as happy as I am. I presume. And can you believe we are at the penultimate show already? No, me neither. It’s been dragging on forever this time.
After last week’s TC, Mike says it was fun because he finally got to break apart “the six”. Dan says everyone wants Mike gone because he’s selfish and self centred. He goes on to say he also finds Mike arrogant and condescending. He then talks about his advantage, saying it puts him in a power position. Carolyn doesn’t trust Dan, saying he’s the biggest threat apart from Mike. She realises she will need to use Mike to give her some options, so she tells him about Dan’s extra vote. Since Mike is not the brightest bulb on the tree, she has to explain that that means Dan will be able to have two votes at one TC. Ai yi yi.
Reward Challenge. This week’s reward is a helicopter ride around the island plus food. Rodney (oh hi there Rodney, how ya goin’?) says he is waking up nauseous (oh, boohoo, sucks to be you) and says maybe someone will let him go in their place. This is before the fucking challenge has even begun!!! Jeff asks if he’s feeling entitled? Rodney brings up the birthday AGAIN, and says a friend has offered him their place. I chuckle, assuming it’s Will again. Mike says the best approach is to win. Dan, Sierra and Rodney will be playing against Mike, Carolyn and Will. Each team rushes through obstacles, untying knots, chopping at things with axes, somehow finding a doorway and eventually one of them solves a puzzle. Did I say eventually? Solving the puzzle took forEVER! Naturally widdle Wodney’s team loses. Meaning I was wrong again, because Will’s team did win, not necessarily thanks to him, of course. Carolyn admits she had told Rodney that she would give him her reward if she won but now it’s taking her a little while to decide whether or not to go on the reward herself. As she says later, it’s her Survivor experience. But then again, as Jeff says, breaking her word may come back to bite her if Rodney is on the jury and she is Final 3.
On the Reward, Mike enjoys his first helicopter flight. Will is pretty excited as they fly over a volcano that’s actually steaming. After they land and eat their feast, Mike suggests they could be Final 3. Carolyn likes the idea, pointing out that they represent one from each collar. I try hard not to roll my eyes, but fail. Those bloody collars! Will says Mike is scrambling, and wants to get rid of him because he is Public Enemy Number One. My eyes do their rolling thing again. Mike asks them not to let Rodney beat him, if nothing else.
Back at camp, Rodney has a bitch about Carolyn, saying she screwed him over twice. He says he’s going to vote her out as soon as he takes out Mike. Yeah? And with what almighty power are you going to do that Rodney, my precious? By Christ, am I going to be pissed off if Rodney somehow manages to win this thing. He can’t possibly, can he? *shudder* Dan finds a couple of some sort of melons that he has never seen before and brings them back to camp. They slice them open and eat ’em up with gusto. Rodney feels as though he is having his reward right there.
Immunity Challenge. They have to use a grappling hook to get balls into bags. Then they must use one of the balls to navigate a table maze. If Mike doesn’t win he’ll almost certainly be the one to be voted out tonight but whaddya know, Mike wins, saying, “Thank you, Jesus.”
Scramble time is slightly more interesting than usual. They start by pretty much all (in the absence of Mike and Carolyn) agreeing to vote out Carolyn. Will, Sierra and Rodney agree they’ll tell Carolyn they’re voting for Dan. When Dan has gone, they tell Mike they are voting for Dan. He doesn’t believe them for a minute and thinks about voting for someone else. Mike actually tells Dan his alliance is going to vote him out – I snigger – and asks Dan what he’d like him to do to help save him. Dan is disgusted to think Mike has the unmitigated gall to ask him that. He can’t believe his alliance would vote against him. Mike talks to Carolyn and Sierra. He points out that Dan and Rodney are sleeping and says that that’s Survivor code that they feel completely safe in the upcoming vote. He tells them that Dan and the others are voting for one of them tonight and he’s pretty sure it’s Carolyn. To Sierra, Carolyn says Mike is being psycho, but privately she’s worried he may be right. She has her HII but doesn’t want to use it unnecessarily.
Tribal Council. Jeff starts talking about trust. Mike says there’s not a lot of it around at the moment, and he saw a lot of scrambling earlier. Poor Rodney. He tries to say something but his little brain can’t quite manage to string those pesky ol’ words together. Gives everyone there a good giggle though, not to mention us. 😉 Time to vote, and we don’t see any of them. And then, just as Jeff says it’s time to go tally the votes, Dan announces he wishes to play his advantage. Jeff tells the few who don’t know by now that Dan has an extra vote. So off goes Dan to vote again. Then Jeff collects the votes. He asks if anyone would like to play a hidden immunity idol, and Carolyn produces hers. Dan, Rodney and Will look surprised, to put it mildly. Jeff reads the votes: Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn, Dan… and Dan! Yes! He’s gone! Really gone! He tells us he came here to have fun, to be remembered and to win. He says he achieved the first two, and he has no regrets. Well see, I’m not sure the “being remembered” part is going to be the kind of achievement you really meant, ya whack job. But just so you have no regrets. I just hope Shirin manages to give him a good hard kick in the balls at Ponderosa. The cameras can’t be on them all the time, surely?
Remember everyone, the show starts at 8.45 PM next week.
Apologies to Rosie she sends these recap in yesterday morning and I am only just putting it up now. But I am loving her work. Over to Rosie:
Back again with another thrilling episode of “As the Stomach Churns”, or is it Survivor tonight? Whichever, I’ll do my humble best to keep you apprised of all the thrilling details. Or to put it another way, tell you whose turn it was to behave badly tonight. Remember that old song that goes, “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you-oo”? Maybe you aren’t as old as me so you won’t remember the song, but if you’re a grown up, or even just halfway to grown up, I’m ready to bet my last bottom dollar you won’t be behaving as badly on your birthday as our mate Rodney does tonight.
We start with Will desperately wanting to not talk about the vote that has just happened at TC. And that would be because he voted for Dan instead of for Shirin as instructed by his alliance. Of course Tyler did the same, but appears to be a little more laid back about it. In fact Tyler announces the fact that he voted for Dan, and Will then feels he can admit doing so too. Dan tells them it’s cool. Tyler tells us Dan is either loyal or gullible, which amounts to the same thing in the game.
Reward Challenge. And it’s Rodney’s birthday today. All together now: Happy birthday, Rodney! Who was that who said, “Get fucked, Rodney?” I definitely heard you, and will report you to Mr Probst for a serious spanking! Or a bunch of flowers perhaps. 😉 On with the show. Of course wee Wodney is hoping for a win at the reward, because it’s his birfday plus HE’S NEVER WON A REWARD, so he deserves it! In his tiny mind, that is. He says he’s pretty tight with Will and Carolyn, so even if he doesn’t win, he’s pretty sure they’ll take him. To be fair to him – much as it hurts – Will and Carolyn do actually promise to take him should either of them win the challenge. Pretty hollow promise from Will, but at least he’s kind enough to make it. The reward is to deliver various supplies including school and sporting equipment to a local orphanage. They will also share a barbecue lunch with the kiddies. They will play in two teams of three and, since Will is invariably hopeless at all challenges, he is the one left out of their schoolyard pick. There goes 50% of your plan, Rodney, old man. The teams consist of Mike, Sierra and Carolyn, who will compete against Rodney, Tyler and Dan. They must unspool ribbons to get a key and then build a ladder to release a bag of balls. (Jeffy does love playing with his balls, doesn’t he?) Then they have to go through an obstacle thingy, and throw the balls into targets. There’s the usual commentary from Jeff, except this week I could swear he is taking great pleasure in pointing out Rodney’s stuff ups. And yes, Rodney’s team loses. Mainly because Rodney forgets the bag of balls, making me giggle. He’s just a spot unhappy. It’s his birthday!!! That means the earth should stop spinning, and everybody should just do exactly what Wodney wants. Cos it’s his birfday! Or something childish along those lines. And no, of course none of the winning team gives up his/her spot for Baby Boy. Maybe if he’d kept his trap tight shut? Who knows. Jeff asks the winning team if any of them are willing to give up their spot for the birthday boy, and Carolyn points out that when she made the offer it was for a single reward. Rodney’s mouth gets blurred by the producers. It gets blurred a lot tonight. 😉 Poor Americans can’t cope with naughty language, although Rodney seems to manage just fine. :D.
At the Reward, our Survivors really enjoy meeting the kids. They hand out gear including clothes, bikes and school supplies, and have some fun playing football with the children. They hoe into their lunch, and Carolyn says Rodney should not be complaining that this is a horrible birthday. He is lucky to be on Survivor. And lucky to still be on Survivor if you ask me… Mike is pretty happy right now and says he feels like a king. Carolyn says he isn’t going home since he wins challenges (so does she) and he has an immunity idol (and so does she). Hmm, I’m beginning to rethink who might win this season now.
Meanwhile back at Camp Whinge-a-lot, Rodney is still at it. Yes the moaning and groaning is far from over. I mean – he has to wash dishes on his birthday! I’m presuming he must still live at home with his mummy who does everything for him – the one who taught him that women need to hold themselves to a higher standard than men – whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. I’m guessing she has also taught him that women should do all the household chores, especially if/when the man of the house is celebrating a birthday! Dan does his usual suck up, saying he can’t believe Carolyn didn’t take him. Oh, like you took him last week, Mr Hypocrite? Rodney says he knows the guys would have taken him. Ah ha ha ha ha ha!! Yeah, sure, mate, you just keep believing that. *titter* Rodney tells the other boys he has a cunning plan. (I suspect it will be about as useful and sensible as those of Baldrick) He will pretend to be really angry when the others get back, and announce that he wants to be voted out. And the beauty of his amazingly clever plan is that this way they can blindside Mike! Tada! You see, Mike won’t see the need to play his idol if everyone is voting for Rodney, so it should be a doddle to get rid if him. Well, maybe if his brain is as tiny as yours is, Rodney dear. Tyler sees the flaw in this plan immediately. He fears that not only will Mike play his idol but that he he will vote for him (Tyler). But genius Rodney cannot be talked out of his plan. As soon as the others return, Rodney goes into his act. Of course Mike sees through this ridiculous charade at once, saying he may talk slow, but that doesn’t mean he thinks slow [sic]. Tyler is now getting worried and asks Carolyn if she would play her HII for him, and says that she needs to start bringing it to TC. She kinda says she will, but doesn’t look too convincing.
Immunity Challenge. It’s one of those balance jobs. They have to balance on a smallish perch and lean back over the water while clutching a rope with knots on it. Every 5 minutes they’ll have more rope. They start at the third knot. Tyler appears to be having difficulty and so is Rodney. With (I believe) some relish, Jeff asks Rodney how he’s doing. As you might expect, our favourite contestant (not!) brings up the fucking birthday. Again. Dan and Will are also having problems. Splash! Quelle surprise! That was Will being the first to fall into the water. Then there are more splashes as Will is quickly followed by Dan, Sierra and Rodney. They move to the next knot and Mike falls, followed by Tyler. Congratulations, Carolyn! That could well have been the fastest challenge in history.
Scramble time, and there’s a lot of it. Too much of it to bother recapping, in fact. I’ll just give you the highlights: the main targets seem to be Dan, Tyler and Mike. Dan to get rid of his double vote advantage and Tyler and Mike because they are such threats.
Tribal Council. Mike says he has his idol with him and one of the alliance of six is going home, guaranteed. Dan says that after the last vote he knows he’s at the bottom of the six and he is clearly concerned. Tyler is confident he will not be going home tonight. Time to vote. Dan votes for Mike and says it breaks his heart. I roll my eyes. Mike votes for Tyler and tells him he’s been trying to get him out for a long time. Mike plays his HII, so of course any votes for him don’t count. Jeff reads the votes: Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Tyler, Tyler. And it’s bye bye to Tyler. And even worse, Carolyn voted for him. I guess she had a million reasons to do so.
Rosie keeps on pumping out these recaps much to my delight. A big thank you. Here is another one:
And it’s episode 11 already. My goodness me. So will it be another night of nasty men picking on woman as pretty much everyone else tries not to notice? Let’s plunge in and see, shall we?
We start with Mike and Shirin on the beach, while Tyler, Dan and Sierra talk about Mike finding out about their secret alliance. Dan (whom I think is just about the most loathsome character there – although at times it seems to be a toss up with Will and Rodney) chats with Shirin and listens as she lets off steam about Will. Dan says he’s sorry about last night’s TC. When she asks which bit he’s sorry about, he says when she cried and says he had no idea. To camera he tells us she is a two faced liar and drama queen who loves playing the victim. He does think Will went overboard – ya think?! – but it’s karma and she had it coming. Oh yeah? And just why is that, Mr Two-Faced Creepy Drawers? You can dislike someone without thinking she deserves a mouthful of abuse, ya know!
Reward Challenge. This week’s reward is to go sailing on a catamaran and eat hamburgers with bacon and cheese, as well as pie. They are split into two teams for the challenge: Mike, Shirin, Sierra and Rodney up against Tyler, Dan, Carolyn and Will. They have to use barrels, planks and rope to move all team members along a set course without anyone, or the planks, touching the ground. Strangely, the team with the totally unfit Dan and Will (yes, I said Will!) wins reward! Rodney gets that sad look on his face, and Dan says he feels bad for him because Rodney has never been on a reward challenge. Jeff pipes up that Dan can give Rodney his spot. Ha! As if Mr Creepy McCreeperson would care that much about another human being!
Back at camp they decide to eat a chicken. Maybe they’ll finally have brains enough to kill the bloody rooster? Of course not. Although it is possible they’ve eaten Mr Rooster one day when we weren’t looking I suppose. And poor Wodney. He’s all shaky and misewabubble and ohhhh boohoohooo! Okay, I feel better now. For fuck’s sake Rodney, how old are you – 23, 24? You don’t need Rodney time for your sanity as you just tell us, you need to grow a pair, then find a pair of big boy panties to tuck them into. All this whingeing at your age is pathetic. Wait until you have some REAL problems, mate! Jebus. Oh, and he still thinks he’s running the show, which makes me laugh. Sierra thinks Tyler is going to take out this game unless they do something now, and he’ll get the jury vote. Rodney says he doesn’t trust Shirin. Sierra points out that Shirin would vote with them, and that if they took her to the end, she would get no jury votes. Hmm.
On the Reward Challenge, Dan says they’re a team and there’s no Mike in “team”. Tyler and Carolyn say what they feel will help to keep him happy, but it seems Dan really has not much idea of what is going on, strategy wise, and seems to be bottom man on the totem pole. Even below Will, who seems to be floating along, happy (and no doubt surprised) to still be there, and generally doing as he’s told. Apart from the verbal abuse of women thing, of course….
Immunity Challenge. This time each contestant must hold a rope handle attached to 25% of their body weight at the beginning of the game. Once they let go, they get doused with water. Of course. And for a change, there are two immunity necklaces on offer: one for the winning man and one for the winning woman. The last two women are Carolyn (who, you may recall, has an HII) and Shirin, who knows she’ll go home if she doesn’t win the coveted necklace. Alas, Shirin can’t hold on so Carolyn wins. The final two men are Rodney and Mike. Rodney’s load is gradually slipping and Dan, who doesn’t know about Mike’s idol and is hoping to vote him out tonight, is desperately urging Rodney to hang on. But Dan’s psychological help is not enough and Rodney drops his weight, leaving him a two time necklace wearer. (I’m just happy that Dan’s unhappy.)
Scramble Time. Carolyn tells people they just need to all vote for Shirin and that’s it, done and dusted. But Shirin works on Dan, telling him she’s no threat and won’t get any votes at the end. She says pretty much the same to Sierra, who in turn asks Shirin who she thinks they should vote for. Shirin goes into her “vote for Tyler” spiel again. Tyler himself is wondering just what was the advantage that Dan won last week, so decides to find out for himself. He sneaks Tyler’s bag away from camp and has a good old sticky beak inside. Once he knows Dan has an extra vote he goes and tells Carolyn about it.
Tribal Council. Jeff starts by asking Shirin about last week’s TC. She says she and her mother are pretty much estranged so she just has her boyfriend, his family and her friends. (So not everyone hates her… WILL!) Then to what seems to me to be everyone’s embarrassment, Dan the loathsome, the creepy, pipes up, while shaking his creepity head, that he is adopted, and only has his mother, plus his wife and family. And he dares to say he doesn’t see how his scenario is much different from hers! Even Jeff sees how ridiculous a comparison this is, and calls him on it, saying that being adopted is not like living with domestic violence. (If you could see the steam pouring outta me right now!! I am beyond furious at this creep.) Jeff then asks Will why he hasn’t apologized to Shirin for last week’s tirade, but Will, despite being an alleged man of God, doesn’t want to apologize unless it’s sincere because it’s the game. Or something. Here’s a clue for free, Will, apologize because you are actually sorry and BE sorry! Back to the actual game, Shirin says they’ll be dumb tonight if they vote her out when Tyler is a threat to all of them. Tyler’s response is that his alliance knows that he is still tight with them. Then Mike tells Rodney, Sierra and Dan that they should vote for Tyler. The others talk about how Mike can’t be trusted and cut himself out of the alliance. And then! Mike digs his HII out of his bag and says he and Shirin are not going home tonight. The jury laughs. Mike says Shirin is voting for Tyler and he’ll be voting for one of the others. Jeff calls it Survivor Russian Roulette. It’s time to vote. We see Shirin vote for Tyler, but we knew that anyway. That’s the only vote we see. Jeff collects the votes and asks if anyone wants to play an idol. Nobody does. Ooh, sorry, Shirin, I guess Mike was only trickin’. (Do the kiddies still say that?) Jeff reads the votes: Tyler, Shirin, Dan, Tyler, Shirin, Dan (Dan looks really worried, to my very great pleasure), Shirin…and it’s bye bye Shirin. She leaves with a smile on her face. Only Mike says goodbye to her. Shirin tells us she has no hard feelings towards Mike for not playing his idol for her, and she is excited about being on the jury. And we see that it was Will and Tyler who voted for Dan.
Dalton Ross’ s Q&A session with Jeff this week is about the nasty behaviour of (some of) the men this season. You can read it here (I hope): http://www.ew.com/article/2015/04/30/survivor-jeff-probst-recap-sexism
Rosie is back for another cracker Survivor recap:
Back again with another tremendously exciting episode of Survivor for you. Well, more exciting than usual.
We start on the morning after last week’s TC, where Rodney, Will, Tyler and Carolyn are having a little chat about voting for Mike next time. But uh oh! They didn’t choose their spot too carefully, because the subject of their conversation is right there, listening to every word! Mike is not a happy camper.
Reward Challenge. It’s the ever popular food auction. As usual they are each given $500 to use to bid in $20 increments, for items that may or may not be worth bidding for. They are shown some items and not others. They are not allowed to share their food or drink. Will buys the first item, unseen, for $100. He says, to much laughter, that it’s probably “grilled ass, or something.” But shockingly, it’s a note telling him he is out of the auction and must go straight back to camp! Next is the usual run of food items. Mike, Dan and Carolyn choose not to buy any food because they plan to wait for the advantage. A few more items of food are bid for and consumed, and then it’s time for the advantage. But first, we have the letters from home. Cue tears aplenty… mostly from Dan. Because he loves his wife, dontcha know. Shirin reminds them that once someone makes a bid, everyone else can get their letters for the same amount. So Carolyn gets hers for $20, and so does everyone else. Except Mike who goes back on his word and puts his letter back. Eventually he realises that this is a bad idea, so he changes his mind and sheepishly takes his letter too. So Carolyn, Mike and Dan draw stones for the advantage. And Dan wins. Pooey.
Will goes back to camp, rather dispiritedly, only to find he has won something after all! I assumed it would be an idol, but it may be even better to a hungry man: it’s a buried stash of rations – enough to last him until the end of the game, which, thinking he’s being a nice guy, he decides to share with the others. It may or may not buy him a little longer in the game…The others come back to camp, and Mike – in the worst possible timing because the others are reading their letters from home for heaven’s sake! – proceeds to rip Rodney a new one for flipping on their alliance earlier. Noooo nooo, not me, sez Rodney. I never, I wouldn’t, I didn’t… But oh yes, Rodney, your pants are on fire, you naughty boy. Mike backs down, realising his timing is abominable.
The Advantage. Dan finds a spot away from everyone else to open his letter. I assume, as I’m sure he and every one else watching who hasn’t seen the spoilers clogging up the interwebs (which I swear I had put out of my head… almost), it will be an advantage at an immunity challenge of his choosing. But oh no. ‘Tis much bigger and better than that. Dan (of all fucking people!) will get to have 2 votes at a TC of his choosing. Now that’s a fair old advantage. As with the HII, he doesn’t have to tell anyone about it unless he chooses to.
Mike starts rumours about the amount of food Will really had. Rodney lets Will know, and Will shows Rodney the size of the container. And poor old Will! Shirin, Jenn and Mike just plain don’t believe that that much food was all he got because there’s not really all that much. They assume he’s keeping some back for himself. Well duh, it was supposed to be enough for one, not nine. And even if he is keeping some back, which he’s not, why shouldn’t he? He was the one who paid for it, was he not? Anyway. I think he was entitled to be a bit upset since he was entirely honest with them. Note that word “bit”. However Will goes off and manages to get way too personal with Shirin, reducing her to tears. In fact he was downright horrible and when she tells us later she has been a victim of domestic abuse and this brought it all back, I really feel for her. At least Mike stands up for her, literally leading her away. I know Will felt hard done by that they didn’t believe him, but that doesn’t give him the right to be that cruel to someone. Nobody likes a bully. So now that’s 3 blokes I sincerely hope don’t win.
Immunity Challenge. Jeff asks how they are all doing. Will tearfully says he is not doing well, and it’s because he didn’t get his letters yesterday. So he asks Jeff if he can sit out of the challenge in exchange for his letters from home. He says he’s willing to give up his chance at the million dollars for the chance to reads his letters. Quite apart from the issue of his recent disgusting behaviour, his total lack of talent at every single challenge he’s been on makes me wonder how on earth he thinks he’d have the tiniest chance of winning this challenge anyway. I mean, he is Will! Jeff says that’s fine by him, but only if everyone else agrees. He asks for any dissenters to raise their hands and Shirin raises her hand. Good on you, matey. I believe I mentioned nobody likes a bully? I continue to dislike her a little less each week. On to the challenge: The players must transport 6 balls with oversized tongs across a series of seesaws to a rack. The first to get 6 balls onto their rack wins. It’s only really ever between Tyler and Mike, and Mike wins. Easily. Rodney doesn’t look happy.
Scramble Time. Back at camp Mike does a happy dance – and looks pretty awkward doing it. Rodney isn’t happy, but he knows that now is not the time to do anything about Mike. They agree to split the votes between Shirin and Jenn, with the plan being to send Jenn home. And there’s more waffle that I can even bring myself to write about, except to say that once again Dan seems to only see what Dan wants to see.
Tribal Council. Will wants to talk about the earlier drama when he was so appallingly rude to Shirin. Why? Because he thinks he was right, of course. May I interject here with an editorial comment. Why yes, another one. You, Will, are an unmitigated creep! And he reckons he’s a man of God? And be manages to reduce Shirin to tears yet again. Oh, well done Will. Then he dares to say he’s just telling the truth and she’s just upset because she got called out! Did I mention he’s a creep? Ugh. Shirin explains to them all that she is the victim of domestic abuse, and I have to wonder if it makes any difference at all to el Creepo. She also climbs into the others, with the exception of Mike, for not standing up for her. In other TC news, and there was some, Mike says he really needed to win immunity today, because he’s such a threat. That sets Rodney off to act like, well, Rodney, who says that they want to vote Mike out because of the way he behaved after the vote. Speaking of which, off they go to do the deed. We see Carolyn vote for Jenn and Rodney for “Shareen”. No HIIs are played. Jeff reads the votes: Jenn, Shirin, Jenn, Shirin, Jenn, Carolyn, Shirin, Jenn and Jenn, which means Jenn is gone, as per her wish. She smiles.
In her parting speech, Jenn says Will seemed nice, but now she thinks he’s shattered, Sierra sucks and she hates Rodney (who doesn’t), Carolyn and Dan, and can’t wait to see them tear each other apart. Not that she’s bitter. 😉