Last episode I blogged about how none of the contestant’s on The UK Apprentice were likeable, this week I am not sure any of them are actually employable.

In fact from the behaviour of the majority of them in the this challenge where they had to sell photographs of people I would have fired them all.

Highlights of the episode:

• Simon saying he had an IQ of 170, but when he was eliminated said he would be back to putting up satellite dishes;
• The project manager of the other team putting Lucinda in charge of of the IT stuff when she cannot work her mobile phone. I would have thought one of the roles of a manager is to put people in jobs that best fit their skills. However not sure what skills Lucinda actually have that fit the business world.
• Alex is just a tool and was undermining Simon the whole way, and I loved how Alan Sugar’s female colleague called him on his bullshit.
• In fact the whole team did not give Simon a chance, with that girl (sorry forgotten her name) just talking over him all the time.
• On the the other team the girl’s continue to think that if you are project manager you must belittle and yell at the other team members you don’t like. Props to Rafe for keeping out of it.

Anyway Simon’s team made a loss and therefore lost the challenge, and in the end he was fired.

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Episode Three of UK Apprentice and the challenge was to make as much money out of one night running a kitchen in a pub. The boys chose to do Italian, and the girls indian.

Some thoughts about the challenge and the show:

• Firstly at this stage I don’t think any of the contestant’s are  likeable;
• Sara the project manager for the girl’s team who is indian didn’t know the spices that go into a curry;
• I was surprised none of the guys could cook the spaghetti bol looked disgusting;
• Also surprised none of the girls could cook either;
• Thank God the guys did not take up on Rafe’s suggestion of speaking in italian accents to the customers;
• I wonder why the boys thought they were given a list of cheap food wholesalers, but were too disorganised and ended up buying their ingredients at a supermarket.
• Can they give the receptionist at Sir Alan’s office a computer;
• Boys team 301 pounds, and 604 pounds for the girls team, so they won.
• The silence was deafening when Sir Alan asked what Ian was like as a project manager;
• It cracked me up when Kevin pretended to be The Apprentices Don Corleone, when he was back in the house and tried to make out that he was the one to cut Ian’s throat.

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There are many reality TV mysteries to me – why Survivor Heroes V Villains did not rate as high as Masterchef, why Channel Seven does not fast track The Amazing Race from the US, and now why the UK Apprentice is being buried in a late night time slot.

Thanks to regular reader Wurstsemmel she alerted me to the UK version of The Apprentice starting, and I am now totally addicted.

Alan Sugar is a natural on camera, and obviously has zero tolerance for bullshit. His off-siders Margaret Mountford, and Nick Hewer give full and frank advice, but rarely crack a smile particularly with the contestant’s that show a complete lack of nous.

And the casting is just reality TV gold, with the usual Type A personalities marketing and sales type, you find on the other Apprentice series, but add in the British class system and you get another dynamic altogether.

The series is now up to episode two. The first week was a fish selling challenge which saw toff Barrister Nicholas being fired. For someone whose livelihood depends on moulding a speech to suit it’s audience, I thought Nick’s I like culture and art declaration when asked why he did not get on with the project manager was the wrong pitch.

It went down like a lead balloon with Sir Alan who despite the title comes from a working class background, and the barrister with the bright blue eyes was eliminated.

The second episode was the a laundry challenge where the teams had to get as much washing as possible and complete it overnight.

The girl’s team were out of the depth from the start, with over quoting on commercial hotel job, where they wanted to charge nearly five pounds per piece resulting in a thousand’s of pound quote, whereas the guys actually rang around to find out what price to charge. They got the job for 200 pounds, which I cannot see how anyone could make any money out of it in the real world.

The project manager was Raef who is a character straight from Brideshead Revisited but add in an Indian heritage I thought would come a cropper, but through luck and some hard working guys they won.

The girls whose project manager, Jenny, had a background in sales, and seemed to have read Management 101, where it she equated bullying as a way of getting people to acquiescing to your demands. She managed to pick on upper class girl Lucinda who really did not help herself when she did not turn up to the morning meeting.

The girls were never in it, they did not get enough jobs and they also lost some clothes.

Shiaza who had set a system which had been working for keeping the clothes sorted was sent home early to commandeer the irons, was then blamed in the board room for the mixing up of clothes and she ended up being eliminated

It was a tad unfair but at this stage of the series would they have been prepared to kick out Jenny and Lucinda who will spend the next few weeks bickering at each other before they get the flick.

The UK Apprentice is on Tuesday nights – Channel Seven at 10.30pm.

Sorry Wurstsemmel for taking so long to post.

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Masterchef Australia contestant Dominic Corrigan appears to have fallen off the wagon at a recent function at Star City Casino. The now eliminated Dominic has said he was in rehab for alcohol issues previously but said he did not abstain but had it under control. At the time I thought that sounded  a bit like Dicko who stopped then started again, and has now stopped. (Source: Sunday Telegraph).

Dancing With The Stars commences tonight with Pamela Anderson as a guest. Awesome. Apparently Jo-Beth Taylor is on with her partner, Rachael Finch has denied she is on with hers. Jason Stevens dance partner is injured so he has a new one. I suspect he will be the first to be eliminated, unless he gets the sympathy vote.

Tamara Jaber who will also be on Dancing With The Stars has again denied that her and Kyle Sandilands marriage is on the rocks. Both camps have said they both are busy with their careers therefore have difficulty spending time together at the moment. However their house will be featured on Better Homes and Gardens this Friday. I have to confess I will be tuning in.

Rumours are the Masterchef Australia might be filmed in Melbourne next year. TV Tonight thinks that this would not be a wise move.

Hells Kitchen on GO has been moved to Tuesday at 10.30pm. This will be up against a new series of The UK Apprentice on channel 7 at this time (thanks Wurstsemmel).

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Even though Sam Hooper, the 19 year old obsessive compulsive lawyer student, was never going to win season one of The Apprentice, he was one of the contestants to come through the show with his reputation intact.

After he was “fired” Mark Bouris told Sam to come see him, and now apparently he has offered him a part time job to fit in with his studies.

The Sun-Herald also reports that Mark Bouris was also considering offering John Van Yzerloo, but apparently he has found work elsewhere.

M

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The episode started with the bore, the blonde and the boofhead as the three contestants left standing. At this point I wanted the boofhead to win.

Theirfirst task was to have dinner with Mark Bouris at Aria restaurant in Sydney. Considering the chef, Matt Moran,  used to be signed to Channel Nine I was disappointed he did not get a cameo.

At the dinner Mark Bouris wanted to know what drives the contestants. For Gavin it was money, Heather her daughter, and for Morello he said he had  aspirations, but not necessarily material ones.

I am not sure if they were sweating because they were under the pump from Bouris, but considering he was also a bit moist it must have been hot at dinner because of the lights.

The following morning was an elimination, and Mark Bouris asked each of them why he should hire them and Gavin’s answer came across as quite arrogant as he said “I have been preparing for this day for many many years…..I do the deals that you guys do on a day to day basis.” Unsurprisingly Mark Bouris fired him.

Then to camera Gavin confirmed what I had thought that he had not really wanted the job.

I got the feeling that Mark Bouris had probably already decided this prior to the boardroom.

The final two were then going to duke it out, but they would have the help of six the previous contestants – three on each team. The interesting thing was that it was not the last six contestants to  be kicked out, as Lynton Pipkorn was there but no Amy Cato or Blake. I would be very curious to know why this was the case.

Heather had first pick and she predictably picked Gavin, and the other members of her team were Mary-Ann and Sabrina.

Morello picked Sam, Lynton, and Carmen. I thought he had the stronger team, and they were more cohesive.

The challenge was to create a brand identity of a new men’s fragrance. They were to name it, design a bottle, create a print ad, and also create and produce a thirty second TV ad.  And on top of all that they had to manage and design a product launch.

Morello’s team thought of a gangster theme, and the bottle would be in a silver bullet design. They were going to name the fragrance Clyde, as in Bonnie and…

Heather was having a crisis in confidence and was indecisive about a name – it was between Style and Adam. But Adam had already been taken. So she settled on the name Alpha Male.

I wonder how much help the teams get, obviously they are told to do research on the street by sending team members out canvassing.

Cracks were already forming in Heather’s team. Sabrina did not like Heather as she said to Mary-Ann “It is not sitting well with me that I have to help this person who was very bad towards me, and you in the past. If she wins because of my ideas I am just going to be gutted.”

I think Channel Nine need to do an extra episode, showing us the footage that we have not seen. As there was definitely some ill will towards Heather.

Then it was on to the event managers to discuss the launch. Morello had a lot of ideas, which did verge on tackiness particularly the ice sculpture, the event managers modified his ideas somewhat.

Heather went for a more elegant launch and their main focus was their product.

The TV ad had to be shot in three hours. Morello had the advantage of having Lynton on his team who had done this sort of thing before. His concept was a poker den with him being in the ad with the actors as well as Carmen, and Sam.

He seems to have a penchants for smoke machines, but this set off the fire alarms.

The bottle arrived towards the end of the ad, and as Carmen said “It looked like it needed batteries in it.”

Heather’s advertisement concept was urban man discovering her wild roots. This involved an attractive man emerging from the bushes removing his clothes.

Mary-Ann and Sabrina were told to wait in the car, and they were not happy about it. I wonder if this was a passive-aggressive way of Heather saying she did not have faith in them.

Heather’s bottle was much classier. I think girls would buy Heather’s product for their guys. But guy’s would buy Morello’s product.

The launches were at the Paddington Town Hall. Morello’s launch grabbed his audiences attention, but his TV ad was a tad kitsch.

Whereas Heather’s was classy, if a tad boring.

However the difference between the two was that Mark had a smile on his face the whole way through Morello’s launch, in fact he looked like a proud dad.

Michael Edwards was impressed with the Alpha Male name and was surprised it was still available. Victoria Campbell from L’Oreal also loved the bottle and name.

In the boardroom Mark Bouris thought their were negative connotations to the gangster theme, and he did raise the issue of the phallic shaped bottle. I think the shape would be a talking point. It did remind me of  a bottle of Lynx deodorant, my understanding that is one of the most popular anti-perspirants with the younger guys.

Heather got caned about leaving the girls in the car. Gavin kept on butting in the the board room and Mark Bouris had to put him back into his place. In fact I thought Gavin was slightly sexist speaking over Heather. She is more than capable of speaking for herself.

Sabrina finally got her revenge at the eleventh hour when she admitted she wanted Morello to win.

Mark Bouris said Morello had an infectious personality, but choked a bit when he was asked how he would deal if he had to make unpopular decisions.

Heather was praised for being a hard worker, however Bouri’s concern was she left behind a bit of human carnage.

It was no shock when Morello was hired, and I was happy with that.

 One criticism I do have of Channel Nine/Fremantle Media was the way they edited  this episode. They made it obvious who the winner was going to be. I know it is there way to ensure the viewer is happy with the result, but it did mean there was a lack of tension in the last boardroom scenes.

I know the ratings were poor for the series, but hopefully Channel Nine will stick with the series. If they moved it to an 8.30pm timeslot I think it would get over the magic million viewer mark.

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In the latest edition of TV Week Gavin McInnes and Heather Williams have come out to say they are not having an affair.

In last week’s episode there was plenty of speculation after Heather called Gavin “Babe” a few times on the show.

However the TV Week article states:

Their close relationship has been the subject of much gossip since the show began, but despite what some of their fellow competitors migh believe, The Apprentice finalists Heather and Gavin tell TV WEEK that nothing untoward happened between them.

While former housemate Carmen claims the pair were “very intimate”, with “a lot of hand holding and touching” going on, Heather insists it’s a big fuss over nothing.

“Gav and I are from similar backgrounds,” the married mum of one tells, saying she and her hubby even went on “double dates” with Gavin and his girlfriend.

Gavin also denies any off-camera romance, simply calling Heather “the biggest flirt I’ve ever met in my life!”

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The Apprentice concludes on Monday night with a 90 minute episode where Mark Bouris will hire one of the contestants to be his Business Development Manager for a year at Yellow Brick Road on a six figure salary.

The final three are Gavin McInnes, Heather Williams, and Andrew Morello.

The episode starts with an intimate dinner with Mark Bouris so he can get to know them a little better. 

Someone is  fired following the dinner with the two remaining candidates to face the final challenge. 

In the last challenge the final two project managers choosing their ultimate choose their teams from the previous contestants.

 The challenge is to create an identity and a marketing campaign for a new men’s fragrance. Each team has to name their fragrance, design the bottle, make a TV commercial, create a print ad, and then launch the product in front of 100 people.

Mark Bouris has filmed two endings to the show, and he will tell Channel Nine which ending to show.

Mark Bouris has said he is hoping for a second series when he was talking to TV Tonight. He also said that there were parts of the franchise they had to follow, like using the iconic phrase “your fired”. He thought that wasn’t very Australian. Maybe he thought “Your boned” would be more appropriate.

Personally I think Channel Nine should go for another season, and put it on at 8.30pm, this might take it to the magic million mark.

The Apprentice Australia finale on Monday 23 November at 9.30pm.

If you are reading this article through the feed at TV.com come and join the discussion and check out my reality TV blog at www.realityravings.com

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Carmen Parnos was probably the most polarising personality on The Apprentice Australia this season. Without her The Apprentice may not have been as entertaining, as she definitely gave good reality TV.

She graciously agreed to an interview with me, and we discussed editing of the show, her fight with Gavin, as well as who she thought would win.

Reality Ravings (RR): Why did you decide to go on The Apprentice?

Carmen Parnos (CP): Late last year, as you probably already know, I went through a really bad time in business and lost everything. I was seeing what my options were going to be. A couple of girlfriends said to me you have got to go on this. So I auditioned and got on. I thought it would be good to see where I fit into corporate Australia. You often wonder when you work on your own [she did work with sub-contractors], where you stack up. What are my strengths and weaknesses? What areas do I need to develop?

RR: Was being on the show like you expected it to be?

CP: Yes it was. It was a whole lot harder, I have never worked so hard in my life. The hours were gruelling, and the physical labor was hard. I was a bit surprised how physical some of the challenges were.

RR: Speaking of that first challenge, where it was the gardening challenge I thought it was unfair that the teams were segregated by sex and basically the women were set up to lose that one.

CP: Your think? (Carmen laughs). Well you know it was the only challenge where they did not tell you what it was prior to announcing what the project was. And I thought gardening? I don’t know anything about gardening. I thought here’s an all male team and here is an all female team we have got to give it everything we’ve got. Did I think we were going to win that one? I was secretly hoping that we would, but given the brawn behind the men’s team I knew we were up against some stiff competition.

RR: With editing of the show, I thought you were shown quite mixed. I thought in the first episode you were shown in a very negative light, then in the next few episodes I thought you came across quite well, you showed yourself to be a really hard worker. How did you feel about the editing when you saw the episodes and how you were portrayed?

CP: They have to shove two days of filming into an hour and a half, so it is a difficult one. I actually enjoyed watching it, and I started to laugh remembering everything that happened on that day[episode one], and so I was not as upset as I thought I was going to be. People around me were more upset then I was. With the other challenges what you saw was what you get.

 I really believe the characters they have portrayed are who we are at the extreme level. At the end of the day they have got to make a great television show as well, and push you to see if you do sink or swim in situations. My mother said “See how you can be?” It is not the only part of you, and that is what is difficult to see on television.

RR: The challenge [the Microsoft challenge] you were eliminated in you and Gavin were clashing, the editing made you look like you had a brain explosion and decided to sack him from the team. What actually happened there?

CP: That was the most mentally challenging challenge, Gavin was trying to find holes that I could fall in for the whole challenge. You had to have eyes in the back of your head, wondering what was going on, and where he was at. It was just ridiculous that I had to spend my time on that as well as try and to get a really good product out to market. What you saw was the tip of the iceberg of the whole day. It was an absolute nightmare. I was kind of disappointed, as Gavin has a lot more talent, and I don’t think he had enough confidence in himself to just do a great job on its own, rather than sabotage someone. I tried to work it out with him. I said ‘We are two really strong personalities, lets get this sorted out.’,  One day I would be on his team and he would be project manager, and I am sure he would have liked the same respect.

He would not have a bar of it. It was pretty much what you got. By the end of it I was so exhausted, he pretty much wore me down.

RR: So have you two kissed and made up?

CP: After the competition, he apologised profusely. He was very gracious in apologising and so was Sam. You just have to not take these things personally.

RR: We have never seen much footage from the house where we could see the dynamics between the contestants. Were there cliques and factions or did everyone generally get on well?

CP: You did the challenge, you did the boardroom, then you would come back and sit around the table and have glasses of red wine. The next day we would find out what the challenge was and the war faces would go on. You are talking about twelve people with big ego’s and personalities who are competative. When you were in your teams all that red wine drinking was pushed to the side.

RR: Who do you think will win?

CP: I want Morello to win. I just think what you see is what you get. He touched everyone in a sincere and wonderful way.

RR: I think Gavin and Heather are getting some pretty harsh editing in the last few weeks, which makes me wonder if they are setting it up for a Morello win, which would make the viewers happy.  [Apparently there are two endings filmed]

CP: Heather is fantastic, I don’t think they showed enough of the positive side of her and her quick business sense. They showed her as a bit controlling. There was a side of her that you truly came to respect and understand. She is self taught. She worked hard to get through the ranks of her career, and I think she has done extraordinarily well in her work life. From a business point of view she probably has more dimensions than Morello, but it just depends what Mark Bouris is looking for.

RR: What next for Carmen Parnos?

CP: I started a couple of online businesses (Superbiz  and Super Leaders )  before I started the show and really loved them. I need to be absorbed in the things that I do. I also really loved out of all this going through the media is the radio. That was so much fun. On my website I am also doing podcast. I will probably look a bit deeper into that area.

RR: If you didn’t go on The Apprentice, what other reality show would you go on?

CP: Masterchef Australia.

If you are reading this through a feed through TV.com come and check out my blog and join the discussion on www.realityravings.com

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Sorry for the delay in posting but my computer had a brain explosion last night.

Well in the first episode of the double tonight, the tensions between the contestants were starting to come to the fore which made for very interesting viewing.

Sabrina really does not like Heather, thinking that she is bossy.  Though she also thought that about Mary-Ann as well. Gavin thought Morello always has to be the centre of attention. Just an aside both Gavin and Heather looked a bit tired on day one of the challenge. In the TV Week last week Mary Ann said that Gavin and Heather were the biggest partiers in the house and they did look like they were a tad hungover.

The challenge tonight was for the teams to pick a musical act and record and market them to three record company professionals.

The boys picked a group called Microwave Jenny who had a girl singer who sang soft pop, whereas the girls picked an all male rock band. I really liked Microwave Jenny, particularly the girl. However Morello wanted to promote the group so beefed up the guys roll in the singing department, something that ended up being a bad move. Also he wanted to promote that these two were a couple thinking that my attract publicity. Personally I think he should have let the singing do the talking. If you want information on their gorgeous sound go to their My Space Page

Whilst Morello was ‘producing’ the single Gavin was sent out to shop for clothes from General Pants to promote the Summer theme of the song. He was very confident doing this as he feels he can do anything. I think the problem for Gavin is that he does not have the likeability factor, this is may be due to the way the show is edited, but he appears arrogant and insincere. I am still not sure whether him appearing on the show will stand assist him in his new business enterprise where he is raising capital and giving business advice. Considering the record producers thought their pitch was bit like a used car sales man patter.

The ironic thing was Gavin who’s face is usually expressionless “thought he had never given such an emotional pitch”. Huh. Remind me not to get him to speak at my funeral.

Mary-Ann ended up being project manager for the girls team, even though Heather wanted it. But Heather was probably the most vocal. I am not sure why Mary-Ann wanted to be project manager as she then took a lot of advice from Heather, so if they lost Mary-Ann could be  in the firing line for passing on a lot of the responsibility of the challenge. For Sabrina she did not care who was project manager “as they were both bossy”.

Sabrina again in this challenge was underwhelming, and has flown under the radar the whole of the competition. She was peeved that she was the one sent out shopping, but then was not game to change the clothes from the predictable skinny black jeans (reminded me of Ratcat), to the red chinos. As Mary-Ann said she won’t make a decision.

Heather was having some producer meglomania issues which were starting to piss off Mary-Ann who said ”I feel you are not hearing us,” to her. Heather did not comprehend this remark. Heather was also portrayed extremely badly in this challenge, she was shown in a slightly crazy manic way who was just walking down her own path. Likeability factor was low.

Heather’s crazy eyes came to the fore in the board room, as Mary-Ann went for Heather saying she was a control freak. Then Heather went for both of them. She did had a point when she said they don’t get into it 100 per cent.  Also Mary-Ann trying to abdicate responsibility regarding the selection on the band, was a bit naughty, as they were all in agreement.

In the end Sabrina was fired and deservedly so as hasn’t made a decision the whole series was fired. I love the way when Mark Bouris is making a point to her she squints a bit to try and indicate she is listening and taking what she says on board. Oh and I can we get a Royal Commission into the workings of MENSA, as I seriously saw no sign of super intelligence from her.

The boys prize was to get a private show with singer Cassie Davis. To me that felt a  bit weird, and the way they sat there it made it look like they were visiting a private gentleman’s club, which is probably where they would have preferred to be.

The second episode of this double header the teams were swapped with Gavin and Heather paired, and Morello and Mary-Ann were together.

The challenge was to present a segment on TVsn aka the shopping channel. A couple of questions – does anyone actually buy stuff off the shopping channel? And would you buy clothes from there? I reckon it must be late night stoners who go “Dude, I so need those scanpans, storage containers, or make up.”

Gavin was project manager with Heather’s acquiescence, and Morello managed to win the tussle with Mary Ann to lead the team. But Mary-Ann was still wanting to do it, and he then agreed to step aside.

Each contestant has to sell three products each, which the other team mate had to sell. They made a big deal about Mary-Ann picking the infinity dress for Morello to sell (which I thought he did a good job of), but did not have a go at Heather for picking “designer jeans” for Gavin to spruik. The jeans even made the model look fat and dumpy. Who would buy jeans over the TV?

But then what would I know one of their best sellers is a collectible doll.

Mary-Ann’s presentation was really good, and her and Morello worked really well as a team. With Morello feeding Mary-Ann facts and it all went pretty smoothly.

Gavin and Heather decided to do less producer input, and they were just going to not talk to each other through the ear piece. Heather ended up dying on screen, and Gavin just sat there like a zombie not thinking to give her a few lines to say. I think if this team had lost Gavin would have been gone.

Poor Morello had a disaster with the vacuum cleaner when he was doing the demo, as he could not get the vegemite off the rug, something he had practiced and practiced.  Mary-Ann was just pissing herself laughing, which was not helpful. Having said that I was laughing my head off. Funniest scene of the series thus far. In fact I think TVSN should give Morello a job I thought he was pretty good, except when he went back to his trademark auctioneer self with the scanpans. He would also be perfect for those 10 minute infomercials that make up the mid-morning programs.

Then it was Gavin’s turn. I am amazed Gavin didn’t get his shirt off whilst ironing to get a few more sales. At least it would have distracted us from his monotonal patter. Christ if him and Sabrina had a child imagine how the child would speak? It would have to go to speech therapy to learn how to put inflections and emotion in their voice. In the end Heather started feeding him lines to help with his sales pitch.

The boardroom scene was hilarious. Heather said she was affronted by Gavin picking the “young and sexy” make up, but at the time when Gavin told her she was young and sexy Heather seemed to simper with enjoyment.

In the end Eventus made $6831 and team pinnacle made $6924 in sales. I would have loved to have seen the breakdown of those figures to see what products sold the most.

So Gavin and Heather won, which was unfortunate as I would have loved to have seen them throw each other under a bus to save themselves.

In the end Mary-Ann was fired, for not supporting Morello enough when he was smearing the vegemite on the carpet.

If you are reading this blog post through the TV.com feed please come and check out my blog and join the discussion on www.realityravings.com

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