Category — Beauty and The Geek

Once the fake geek (Corin), and the fake beauty (Emma) were both in teams in the final two I kind of lost interest. The Amazing Race type scenario was a yawn, the clues were too easy, and there were no witty to camera scenes. A bit of anti-climatic finish to what has been a pretty good show.

The first part of the show was an Amazing Race type scenario where the last three teams standing had to find three beauty or geeks and be one of the first two teams to make it back to the mansion.

Kat was picked up on Bondi beach by Michelle and Peter. Michelle looked pretty fit running  up Bondi beach, and Peter did look like a geek lumbering up behind her.

At Luna Park there was a foot race between Corin’s and Jeremy’s team to pick up Elyse. Corin won.

Again there was a race between Peter and Michelle, and Jeremy and Emma at King’s Comics, which Jeremy’s team won, partially due to Michelle and Peter running the wrong way.

Corin and Lisa found everyone in about a 2 km radius, as they  picked up Alan and Toby in The Rocks vicinity. Got to say I think I prefer Toby with curly hair. They made it back to the house first. I am sorry Bernard Curry is no Phil Keoghan. With Emma and Jeremy arriving second. Peter and Michelle were eliminated.

There was a flat looking party, would you be drinking if you had a $100,000 test the next day but it did not seem to stop them.

The final quiz was one where it was to show how much they knew about their partner. It was all correct answer’s until Lisa’s final question where she was asked what sport was Corin was playing when he broke a bone when he was young. The answer was rugby, however Lisa answered badminton. How does anyone break bones playing badminton? this gave Emma the opportunity to answer the next question correctly to ensure her and Jeremy won the first season of the show.

I really enjoyed the first series of Beauty and the Geek, except for this episode which felt a bit flat, but has the show got a second series in it? I suppose it will depend on the casting, which hopefully will be more rigorous then season one.

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Last week in an interview with geek Toby Latcham here , he said that he thought some of the beauties on Beauty and the Geek had the capability of going to university. Clearly Hadassah was not one of them. I am prepared to give her the benefit of hte doubt on the question related to animal transport, but how could she think Karl Benz was an englishman? Seriously how many english guys does she know who are named Karl. And why didn’t she click that the name may be related to the German car Mercedes Benz.

Well her stupidity meant Xenogene, a genuine geek  and cool dude was eliminated. To say I am unhappy is an understatement.

Ok if Xenogene had contained his exuberance on the go-kart challenge, he may not had the spectacular stack and would have won. But that is why I like Xenogene, it is his 100% enthusiasm for everything he tackles. And he is sweet. He was the only person who thought Michelle and Lisa’s mushroom risotto was ok for a first attempt.

This week the two teams that won the challenges were automatically in finale with a shot at winning the $100,000. The Geeks challenge was to teach a class at a gym.

Xenogene motivated his gym bunnies by talking in an Arnie type voice.  He was quite funny.

Corin did some bad dance moves, and basically being a poor man’s Richard Simmonds.

Peter did an animal workout, which was funny and original, and Jeremy who is the most athletic out of the geeks made his aerobics moves overly complex.

When Corin won the challenge he did his over the top geek moves. How many challenges has he won?

The girls had to build a billy-kart. Hadassah was confident with this challenge as she has done wood and metal work at school.  She was third to finish the kart, and that meant Xenogene was third on the “grid”. Props to Michelle for completing the kart first and it was still complete when it crossed the finishing line.

Ok the go-kart race was hilarious and I was barracking for Xenogene, as he looked so pleased with himself flying down that hill. But he stacked, the car broke and he was bypassed by Peter who went onto win.

Hadassah and Xenogene went head to head with Emma and Jeremy in the elimination test, but lost.

Xenogene was such an open and honest person, and he even though he felt he was in ‘love’ with Emma, he took her rejection of him with dignity.

The last episode appears to turn  into an amazing race scenario with the teams racing around Sydney to find the geeks. I am not sure where the geek and beauty challenges with fit into this.

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In the latest edition of TV Week there is an article saying Corin is not a fake.

This is what the article said:

Two of the beauties have leapt to Corin’s defence after rumours surfaced that he is a “fake geek”. 

“I know there is the whole cliche of a geek who is a virgin and is a computer nerd,” Emma says, “but Corin is a synthetic organic chemist and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and he just knows how to teach you things. I know that he has a child and he’s had previous relationships, but Corin is struggling when it comes to relationships now so he really needed help and support.

“He’s still the biggest geek I’ve met!”

Adds Hadassah: “Corin definitely has an awkward, nerdy side to him. he’s just different to the typical geek. He’s a cool gee. He’s extremely, extremely intelligent and he’s good at sports. He has a way with talking to people as well, so he’s really lucky.”

Both girls say Corin was up-front about his past relationships and his child.

“He and I knew a fair bit about each other, so I actually knew that he had previous girlfriends,” Hadassah says.

Corin says he’s just being himself on the show. While he considers himself a geek, he isn’t insulted by people saying he’s not.

“When people do say that, it is, in a way, a bit flattering to think that they don’t believe you’re as socially awkward as other people do,” he says.

I would have thought being a cool geek was an oxymoron.

In other geek news Hadassah say’s she has a special relationship with Toby.

Again in the TV Week it says that Toby and Hadassah have been hanging out “heaps and heaps” now that filming has finished.

“I’m actually teaching him how to drive – he’s got three cars and he flies a small plane, but he doesn’t have his drive’s licence,” Hadassah explains. “And he loves going out at the moment, but he doesn’t have any music on his iPod- as he said, he’s a musical caveman – so I’ve made CDs for him. I make him listen to them at home, then when we go out, he knows the songs so we can dance.”

She adds that when they do go out, Toby gets lots of attention from girls – but she hasn’t seen him pick any up yet.

“He just has a nice dance with them and chats with them,” she says. “I’m actually giving his room a makeover at the moment. He only has a single bed, so we’re getting him some new furniture and a CD player. That way, when he does take a girl on a date it’s all ready to go.”

Hadassah says her long-term boyfriend doesn’t mind her spending time with Toby. “He’s used to me having lots of guy friends.”

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The latest edition of TV Week has an interview with Emma from Beauty and The Geek  where she say Corin and her are just good friends but she had a crush on another geek – Peter.

The interview said:

“Corin and I were just really good friends,” says Emma firmly. “No romance there. We had a lot in common, past relationships – we had advice for one another. As well, if I was struggling, he was always there to support me. I guess that brings you together.”

So why did she talk about Corin as being “definitely dateable”?

“I think he is dateable,” she says. “It doesn’t necessarily mean that I would date him but but I do think that there are girls out there who would find him attractive and funny and charismatic.”

She admits that she was never physically attracted to the geek. “Not really, if I’m going to be completely honest. I guess I just didn’t see Corin in that way.

“When I said the date was a nine out of 10, I really do think that it was,”  she adds. “He’s very polite, he pulled my chair out for me, he ordered my meal – he was just very charismatic and did all the right sort of stuff you do on a date.”

As for that emotional farewell they had when they thought Emma was going to be sent home, she insists there was nothing more than friendship behind it  on her part. “It’s really sad to be leaving people,” she says. “You’re thinking ‘Will I ever see them again?’”

The promtions model says her boyfriends have tended to be “tall, dark and handsome”. “It’s just something I think all girls are attracted to.”

Emma wasn’t attracted to any of the geeks at first, but later changed her mind. “I must admit, after Peter had his makeover, he looked incredible!” she confesses. “He’s tall, dark and handsome.”

But will anything develop between Emma  and the fungal scientist? It doesn’t look good. “Peter lives in Perth – too far away”, says the Sydney girl. “Besides, I’ve seen so many women want Peter. I don’t think I could compete with that!”

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 (Toby with Michelle)

Toby Latcham the resident geek with wit was one of my favourites on the Beauty and The Geek, and I was lucky enough to obtain an interview with him. Unfortunately he and his partner Jenna were eliminated last week on the show.The interview took place prior to this episode so I did not ask him about how he felt about being eliminated.

We did discuss reality TV, makeovers, and girls, and Toby showed he was a humorous, articulate and genuine young man. With rumours that Channel Seven are casting for a second series he thinks all potential geeks should apply.

Reality Raver (RR): What made you go on Beauty and Geek?

Toby Latcham (TL): It was a couple of girls at work, they saw the ad… and I thought it would be interesting.

RR: You are one of my favourite characters on the show because of your droll wit, do you think the editing has shown you as you are?

TL:With the editing it is a bit 50/50 sometimes they show you in a positive light, but sometimes they cut out things that I thought would be really good. I think the editing has showed me accurately, I am disappointed they don’t show other things that I say.

RR: When you went on the reality TV show, when you thought about what it was going to be like, did it live up to your expectations?

TL: It did a bit, I had never done anything like this before, the show itself was really really good fun. I was a bit worried we’d have to do odd things like on Big Brother, and be forced to get out of our comfort zone. We didn’t have to do anything that humiliated us a lot, and we did not have to do anything that was really quite embarrassing.

RR: What about Peter and the back waxing?

TL: With that Peter was a bit keen to do it as well. We were all decided to embrace the concept and wanted to try all these new things. For Peter that was back waxing, and by the end of it he was quite happy how it turned out.

RR: And you didn’t get waxed?

TL: I got my eyebrows waxed. I am unfortunately am not manly enough to grow chest hair.

RR: What did you think of your make over?

TL:I actually quite liked it. I loved the straight hair and new clothes. I’ve got new jeans now.

RR: So a GHD has touched your hair since?

TL: Yes it has….a hairdresser is offering to permanently straighten it so I don’t spend so much time in the mornings.

RR: Back to the concept of being on a reality TV show, were there any negatives about being on the show?

TL: There are a few minor negatives. We didn’t have internet access or contact with the outside world at all. It was a  bit daunting at first. To be away from my work and my life for so long kind of did my head in, but I settled down fairly quickly.

RR: How long were you locked away for while filming of the show went on?

TL: Six weeks.

RR: The scenes where the Geeks were matched with the beauties was that really the first time you had seen the other parties?

I had met the geeks during the promo shoots, but we were not allowed to talk to each other whilst doing the promo shoots. This was the first time we were allowed to talk to each other [when they were deciding which beauties to pick], and this was the first time we saw the beauties.

RR: Are the girls as dumb as they are being edited? For example Jenna is meant to be an airline hostess she got to have some brains hasn’t she?

TL: Some girls were brighter than others, but in general most people had dumb moments on the show, geeks included. In general there were some very intelligent beauties on the show such as Jenna and Emma I think they could go onto university if they wanted to.

RR: I have heard rumours that Emma has a university degree. Something I have not followed up on, but I don’t know if it is true or not.

TL: I had heard some sort of whispers about that, but I don’t think she completed a degree. I go to university and there are a lot of people at university that are dumber than a lot of these beauties.

RR: Speaking of university, how do you do three degrees at once?

TL: It is not actually that hard. I only do four subjects a semester, as I actually work fulltime. I do do some subjects externally, which means I do them at home or during my spare time. Even though it is three degrees it is just going to take me a bit longer to do.

RR: Apart from your makeover and learning how to do your new do. Is there anything else you learnt from the show that you will use in the outside world?

TL:A lot of things actually. I learnt a lot of things about self confidence. And I think I learnt a bit about women as well. We spoke to the beauties alot, and we became very good friends, and they taught us the secrets of …..women.

Having now been on TV I feel more confident in public life now. I have people coming up wanting a photo or autograph. It is a very odd experience for someone over a month ago who was actually a nobody.

RR: I don’t know if you have heard of the movie with Nicole Kidman To Die For, you probably were not even born, but its premise was your nobody until you have been on TV. Have you had more attention from the girls now you have been on TV?

TL: Most certainly. It has been astonishing. I have been going out with Hadassah and Michelle doing what they call clubbing, where we go to nightclubs. The attention I get is amazing, people coming up wanting to take a photo or wanting to kiss me on the cheek. We had a hens night and the hen cuffed herself to me last Friday. I am certainly getting much more attention, I am just not sure if it is genuine.

RR: Are you dating?

TL: I have had a few expressions of interest, merely because I was on the show. I am not dating at the moment. I am going to wait till the whole enthusiasm about the show dies down before I look for a serious relationship.

RR: Your right are they going for the Toby on the show or the real Toby Latcham? Now reality TV has generally been seen as a fast track for girls to go into men’s mags, and people having a fasttracked media careers. But it is also looks like it is becoming a fast track for people with political ambitions. Have you got any plans in the future to go into politics?

TL: Not really. I have been playing politics for five years now and there is something I have learnt from that is that I don’t actually like politics that much. My view is that someone shouldn’t want to become a politician, someone should want to serve the community. If you are my age (21) and you want to become a politician you are in politics for the wrong reason.

RR: Who else are you still in contact from the show?

TL: Everybody. Corin and Emma have flown up to the Gold Coast [this past weekend] to spend time with myself, Michelle and Hadassah. I am going camping with Peter, and I have a roadtrip some of the guys have organised. We’ve all kept in really close contact. There was a couple of times the production team came and spoke to us and said “Come on guys we know your really good friends, but you are on different teams stop trying to help each other.” Before any challenge we would throw ideas around.

RR: So why were you always nominated?

TL: Jenna has been a very strong competitor on the show, she is very good at what she does. The first nomination was strategic, and we went up against Kate and Alan, and unfortunately Kate did not get on well with either the girls and the guys as you probably saw. For the harmony of the house we thought she had to go I’m afraid. So they put up a strong team against them. We knew Kate probably wouldn’t be studying.

The second time I think it was  because Jeremy and Emma were nominating, because if we had the opportunity we would have done the exact same thing.

RR: Are Corin and Emma together?

TL: I am not actually sure. I don’t think so I think I will find out this weekend. [Last weekend they were meeting at the Gold Coast.]

RR: What next for Toby Latcham?

TL: I am not too sure. I am talking to an agent… I am probably looking for radio/voice work, obviously I don’t have a very good face for TV. My main focus is the three degrees, and the work I do in research.

RR: Would recommend to geeks out there to go on the show?

TL: Certainly it was a life changing experience. I would encourage them to do so.

RR: If there was any other reality TV show you would go on which one would it be?

TL: Celebrity Crash Scene Investigation or Celebrity Border Secuity  I think that would be a good show.

RR: Not The Apprentice?

TL: I wouldn’t be cut throat enough for The Apprentice.

If you are reading this article through TV.com come and join the discussion and check out my blog on www.realityravings.com

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In this article in the Herald Sun if it can be believed says that Corin Storkey of Beauty and the Geek fame likes both Hadassah and Emma from the series. And they might like him back.

He is going away to the Gold Coast with them this weekend, so maybe he might have a light bulb moment then.

I am still transcribing an interview I had with the latest geek eliminated Toby Latcham. It will  be up soon I promise.

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Maybe Emma is not a fake casting as she did work for Hooters at Parramatta. Also reader Christina White sent in a link to a video what Miss Congeniality competition actually is. It looks like some sort of Hooters employee pageant. Here is the link http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=41283687

She does come across very well, and I will be surprised if she does not get some media gig after the show has aired.

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Well if the rumours about Corin being a fake geek will be going into overdrive after tonight’s episode, where he definitely showed his smoothness with the LAYDEEE’S. That is something you cannot learn out of the white folders that are a staple in the geek house.

Also this episode they definitely played up the Emma and Corin “romance”. However Corin did say he had a connection with Emma, and then he said he had a connection with Hadassah. So he was covering his bases.

Toby said “Corin is open and charismatic.” Basically he is a player.

Neither of the beauty’s or the geeks appear to do cryptic crosswords as each week they cannot work out the clues on the table that are meant to signify their next challenge.

Any way the challenge was the girls would have to be tour guides and spend a night at a museum. Which I had thought meant they were sleeping over, but it was just the tours were happening at night. Hadassah was not too impressed about the museum part of the challenge. Just quietly I wouldn’t have been either after being told they were going to the Australian Museum, it must rank as one of the most boring museums in the world. There is one floor which is all rocks, thankfully they did not have to talk about those.

While they were studying Michelle was having trouble with words over three syllables, and Peter was trying to help her say antiquities it was almost like My Fair Lady. Unfortunately Peter did not burst into song. It  appears Peter has grown a beard since the makeover. Is this to replace some of the hair he got waxed last week? It diminishes his hotness.

The girls talked to tour groups in their normal ditzy but charming style. They made up dinosaur names and facts, which is kind of amusing, as most five year old boys who are obsessed with dino’s would know they were telling lies.

Michelle won the prize so that means her and Peter were safe from nominations this week. However I thought Hadassah should have won it for her boob thrust to try and get the stick insect onto the branch. That was hilarious.

Then I thought I was having a Big Brother flash back with the obligatory spa scene with girls in bikini’s and the house’s equivalent of Alvin Purple, Corin. Also I thought  a dancing doona scene was going to ensue but the camera’s in this houshold are much more discrete. But it must be said that Corin woke up in a bed with three girls. Which should have automatically seen him expelled from the house. Most ‘normal’ non-geek guys manage to get one girl into the sack but not three at once. This makes him an alpha male in normal society, and must give him god like status in a geek house.

This may explain why he was not nominated this week. AGAIN. Is he forming alliances with the other guys?

As Lisa said “Corin has come out of his shell, just a little bit too much.”

The geeks challenge was to dish out some love advice on Dr Feelgood’s program. Hopefully these were set up callers ala Kyle and Jackie O style.

Toby’s caller (a male) asked him how to take his relationship to the next level. Toby first clarified the question that it was about sex.Duh! And then mentions something about talking about it when you were going downtown. Obviously this is some new Gen Y slang I have not heard before.

Peter’s advice on romance was really bad, he thought food was good, and suggested banana’s. Maybe he thought this was to get her in the mood to go…..Downtown.

Jeremy stumbled over his is female facial hair a turnoff question? It was a difficult one as he did not want to cause offence but probably did anyway as he kept on pausing. So she would have know he was lying.

“She doesn’t sound hairy” said Hadassah who thinks these things can be told over the radio. Was she expecting a deeper voice?

Xenogene got the infidelity question and he handled it quite well, even though he was a bit long winded. But as he  hinted earlier his form is not great .”Any infatuations I developed are neutralised,” said Xenogene in Trekkie speak. However next week it looks like Xenogene is very infatuated with one of the beauties.

Corin’s question was about a love triangle. Corin said men are always attracted to other women. Dr Feelgood butted in at that point.

The winner who apparently gave advice that was outside the square was Peter. Therefore the Peter/ Michelle team controlled the nominations.

It was nomination time, and the camera men should get props for NOT getting any crotch shots as the girls walk down the stairs.

They nominated Emma and Jeremy, and Jenna and Toby (is that the fourth time?)

“It is not the end of Corin and Emma, in my mind.” said Emma, at this point I was starting to roll my eyes. Ok producers we get it Emma and Corin have the hots for each other.

It was neck and neck in the quiz with the boys, until Toby could not think of a second husband for Pamela Lee Anderson. In fact nor could  I and I live on a steady diet of NW Mag. And in the end Jenna and Toby were eliminated.

Jenna dressed in a micro micro mini exited the house looking  like she was ready to walk straight into a mens magazine shoot.

I was fortunate to have an interview with Toby Latcham today, I am still transcribing, but it should be up tomorrow. I did ask him about Corin and Emma, but unfortunately he was very diplomatic.

If you are reading this article on TV.com come and join the discussion and check out the blog www.realityravings.com

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(Toby is on the right in the photo as well as in politics)

It appears Canberra is not the only place where there are feuding Liberals, as apparently the Young Liberals have started a smear campaign on Toby Latcham who is currently appearing on Beauty and the Geek.

Toby who has shown in the house that he is engaging and witty has had a dirt file circulating about him by his political enemies according to Nine MSN.

The article said:

“He might be portrayed as a lovelorn and emotionally inexperienced young man who just needs a bit of help … but the reality is that Toby is a conservative young Liberal with far-right views that no self-respecting girl would go near.”

Screenshots purporting to be of Latcham’s now deleted Facebook page appear in the dirt file.

In one of the mildest comments attributed to Latcham, he apparently describes himself as a “heartless economic rationalist”.

“Toby has made many enemies, both personal and political, over the years, and now he has remade himself … into a public figure, all those from his past would like to see the truth revealed,” Latcham’s colleague said.

When contacted by ninemsn, Latcham said he was aware of the material and that it was “all a fabrication”.

“There’s no truth to any of it … this has been going on for months after there was a split in the [Young Liberal] club,” he said.

Why have I not seen these Facebook photos? But the “dirt” file has been placed on my blog by someone purporting to be Toby.

Here is what it says, and as he said it is apparently a load of bollocks:

 Toby on “Beauty and the Geek Australia” might be portrayed as a lovelorn and inexperienced young man who just needs a bit of help to deal with his social ineptitude.

The reality is that Toby is an extremist right-wing nut-job of a Young Liberal that no self-respecting girl who knew his true past would go near.

The real Toby”¦.

Toby is a Young Liberal and a self-described “heartless economic rationalist”.

He posted on a public blog that “I’m not racist! Racism is a crime, and we all know that only black people commit crimes”.

And he posts on the internet his fantasy writings, where he pretends to be a surgeon and writes “long and detailed surgical logs”: “As I play a surgeon, I tend to hold to realism; therefore, like most surgeons, Graves prefers to see his patient as a big hunk of meat with organs and such rather than a person”¦”

Toby described as “Scandalous!” that a young girl was saved from cancer using taxpayer money in a public hospital.

And on his Facebook page he has expressed his admiration of Hitler, and that he is “putting the sensual back in “˜nonconsensual’”.

There is only one way to sum up Toby Latcham: this geek is a freak!

 Also Toby had this to say on the blog when it was claimed he may have been a fake geek:

Hang on, how am I not a geek? Sure, an anonymous source has claimed that I’m putting on an act, but there’s absolutely no evidence to these claims. They’re not even willing to put a name to them. And it’s hardly as if Channel 9 doesn’t have a vested interest reporting on a Channel 7 show. I mean, you can even Google my name to find the past 7 years of Star Trek fan fiction I’ve written! If you’re telling an overweight virgin who’s studying three degrees, has 7 computers in his room and has written over 800 pages of Star Trek fiction that he’s not a geek, then I would most certainly like to meet a “˜qualified geek’.

Well Toby’s schooling in the shenanigans of university politics has probably helped him handle the vagaries of reality TV and hopefully he is now having better luck with the ladies.

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OK, full disclosure – all I’ve seen of this show so far is the final five minutes of the previous episode, so please forgive me if I comment on the obvious. I have, however, been following Corin-gate here and with only the credits down, can confidently say “you’re a fake and a phony and I wish I’d never laid eyes on you!”.

Some questions before we start:

• Toby – which three degrees is he studying and how far along is he in those? And given that he’s such a full-on student, how is it that he is also famous for always wearing suits? Did he go to the same school as Alex P. Keaton?
• Jenna – which airline is she with? I think Raver has requested this information before, but I haven’t seen it answered.
• Emma – miss congeniality? Is that even a thing? And shouldn’t there be capital letters in there somewhere?

Corin’s already annoying me and he hasn’t said anything yet.

The geeks discover that they have potentially life-changing makeovers in their very near futures. Peter feels that he is desperately in need of a transformation, but of all the guys, he’s the one with the most potential. He’s like the “ugly” lab tech who is transformed into “but Miss Jane, you’re beautiful!” once the glasses are off and the hair is shaken out of the severe bun.

Toby ponders matching his makeover with a cool identity change. Would he be more appealing as a Seth or a Conrad? The first nominee for the “no shit” award tonight goes to Jeremy, who reveals that his mum cuts his hair.

In another part of the mansion, the girls are discussing the guys. What do you think they will look like? “Hopefully better!” Squeal!

Jenna is giving Toby some counsel: “You need to get your hair shorter. Remarkably shorter. And highlights.” Toby counters with “the only highlights I have is when I’m studying”. Oh, ZING! Medic! My sides need stitching up.

“He’s so geeky! That’s all I can say!” exclaims Lisa of Corin, as he departs for his date with the stylists.

In the stylists’ studio, we discover that Toby’s never worn jeans and Xenogene is a total Harry highpants. He tells the stylists that he likes to wear his jeans above his hips so as to keep them up. One looks completely taken aback, and can only manage to gasp out a shocked “that’s what a belt is for!”. Jeremy’s being given a spray tan, which has to be a bad idea given that he’s of the ranga persuasion. Toby’s getting his eyebrows waxed, and thinks it could be painful… and then we see poor, hairy Peter.

How does Bernard manage to keep a straight face when he greets the girls as “hello beauties!”? And how have they learned so quickly to react to that greeting?

Unleashing the makeovers

• Peter is in a suit trying to pull off a douche move. He looks a little bit like Mick Molloy. A slightly campy Mick Molloy. The ladies like.
• Jeremy has a fake tan that must have been applied by Valentino’s people. He does look like a thin oompa loompa, but the girls still squeal.
• Corin looks like Pee Wee Herman, which Emma thinks is a nice improvement. Whatever. She does that hideous finger-chewing flirt. Ick.
• Toby: after the break… (although *spoiler alert!* the girls sqeal!) He comes in looking like an inflated Zac Efron. Oh, snap! He’s just described himself as “Zac Efron having let himself go”.
• Xenogene: Hadassah doesn’t know what to expect. He emerges, looking like a flaccid hairdresser from the late 80s. Well, she thinks he’s a spunky monkey. He looks really freaky, but Hadassah really does love it and is in tears.

Our contestants repair to their rooms to get a closer look at the makeovers.  Seriously, Seven needs to have some sort of warning tone that sounds before they show the tanned ranga. It’s frightening.  Hadassah is oohing and ah-ing over Xenogene’s waxed chest and he’s voicing over that the gurlz really do seem to value the “outside”.  Peter needs to take off his jacket, as he’s still feeling a bit tender from all of that hair removal. He takes off the shirt as well. I can’t believe they didn’t wax his arms! He now looks as though he’s wearing a skin T-shirt.

Acting challenge

Bernard greets our geeks’n'freaks at the “legendary” Channel Seven studios. As Ada Nicodemou and Luke Jacobs are introduced, Corin does his hideous little look-at-me-I’m-a-geek dance and clap… but if he were a real geek he’d be like Toby, who is all “who are these people?”.

God, the Homers actors are dreadful. Lisa “could’ve sworn they were together in real life” as she watches them snacking on all the available scenery in their little love scene. I don’t think Lisa’s acting career stands a chance if she views this performance as anything other than panto crap. Toby also thinks the two professionals are flaunting their acting skills in front of the amateurs, but I’ll give him a pass on that since he’s, you know, a geek and all.

Our geeks’n'freaks prepare for their scenes:

• Corin’s trying to convince Lisa to kiss him
• Emma’s suspicious that Jeremy’s using this as an excuse to kiss her
• Jenna tells Toby that tango and salsa are the same thing, but Toby’s not so sure.
• Xenogene is analysing the script and thinks a snog is on the cards. Hadassah, for all her tears and “Oi love him!” histrionics earlier is having none of it.

Action!

Peter and Michelle do a way better job of their scene than Ada and Luke did, however he makes the rather daring decision to pick her up as she’s coming in for a clinch and we get a sound effect that alerts us to possible knickers exposure.

Hadassah and Xenogene have no chemistry at all and then he slips into a weird accent to cover for her complete lack of ability to look like a living being. At least Xenogene has diagnosed her potentially dangerous magnesium deficiency.

Toby is “acting”, with all that the air quotes imply. There are expansive gestures, exaggerated eye-rolls, and even the hand on the heart to signify sincerity. Ada and Luke are sold. They’ll never get a call to be guest judges on the forthcoming “So You Think You Can Act”. Jenna is awkward, throwing herself violently at an unsuspecting Toby.

Corin’s of the breathing and sticking the bum out school of acting, which is how he’s been playing the whole episode to date. She really has to look into an alternative career, because she’s only marginally better than Hadassah. He thinks there’s “fire and passion” and interviews that “we have to kiss!” but they chicken out.

Jeremy sure knows how to light up a room! Or is it just the fake tan? Ada thinks Emma’s doing a good job. Will there be a kiss? “Embrace me!” cries Emma, which should have been a signal to Jeremy that a kiss was out of the question, but he perseveres and gets his first lip lock.

Like, Ada thought the geeks were, like, fantastic! But there can only be one winning couple and today it’s Corin and Lisa. Really? Really? Look out for Seth Meyers’ analysis of this on Saturday Night Live.

What will they do with the power of nomination?   The other contestants contemplate the possibilities.  Toby’s practiced wit really is excrutiating: “we’ve got the card three times. If we get ten we’ll get a free one”.  No, I don’t understand what they might get with ten nominations, either.  A ticket home?

Does Hadassah wear her name around her neck so that she doesn’t forget who she is? Perhaps she should wear it backwards so that she’s be able to read it in the mirror.  She’s upset because she feels that they will be on the way out.  Xenogene really is going to need to study up on that whole empathy thing – you can’t get dates on 80s hair alone.

Lisa would like to get rid of Emma, but Corin won’t hear of it. Who will they choose? Who will get the red rose?

(Does anybody else think that Toby’s looking better now that his makeover has settled in a bit?)

Tension builds.  BUT!  It’s a non-elimination round! Corin does his slack-jawed underbite “I’m a real geek, trust me” look. That’s not the only bombshell, though.  Our contestants will have to go on a date with somebody other than their partner.  Corin tries to look horrified. He just looks daft. “It’s so twisted! Like, it confuses my head!” complains Michelle. Corin and Lisa get to choose the pairings and get to take their dates out of the mansion.

The first pairing is Toby and Michelle. Toby’s “appreciative” because she’s his “favourite”. Jeremy gets Hadassah and she thinks that’s awesome. Jenna goes with Xenogene and she’s not at all gracious about it. Lisa goes with Peter and he’s happy. So that leaves… Ema and Corin. Vom.

Peter reads a note he’s found, haltingly, as though it’s in Esperanto. They are in tuxedos, which puts them into James Bond territory, according to Lisa. Certainly not Daniel Craig’s version. Or Sean Connery’s. Or Timothy Dalton’s. Or Pierce Brosnan’s. Or even George Lazenby’s.

A stretch limo pulls up at the door and Lisa is thrilled to be able to re-experience the sensation of the year twelve formal. Who doesn’t want to go through that again?

On the dates at the mansion, we see the new couples getting to know one another.  ”Live life and have no shame” is Michelle’s motto.  Xenogene is sweet talking Jenna with Star Trek minutiae. The “exposed underwear” cuckoo sound effect comes out for this.

God, the banality of the Corin/Emma conversation is making my eyes bleed. She gives the date 8.5 out of ten, but revises that in a post date interview to a 9, or maybe even closer to 10!

So… that concludes tonight’s Beauty (ahem) and Geek festivities. Tune in next week for Corin’s love-rattiness exposed! Not the love-rattiness that’s featured in comments on previous posts, but his in-house wooing of more than one so-called beauty.

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