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Matt Preston Gives His Grumps List For 2014 But Others Were Grumping About Masterchef

At this time of year there are lists with best of 2013 and trends for 2014 for the record the Pantone Colour of 2014 is Radiant Orchid. In The Australian they had Grumps of 2014 with Matt Preston giving his list.

However it was a tad ironic that a couple of other people who were selected to share their gripes alongside Matt had a bit of a whinge about Masterchef.

Matt Preston who is a judge on the show grumps were:

I don’t want to drink: Caffeine drinks dressed up in the can like they’re trying to join an outlaw motorcycle gang. Overpriced Australian wine. When a bottle of my favourite gin costs less than a bottle of good pinot you’ll find me drinking negronis in protest.

I don’t want to hear: Sommeliers that talk so much about their “amazing wine choice for this dish” that your food goes cold while they are rabbitting on … Honestly, I don’t care about whether it’s from the Left Bank or Right – just pour me something good that enhances the food.

Expensive food that’s all about the concept and the art but totally forgets about tasting delicious. It’s a restaurant, not a gallery, lads!

Those dreadful “gourmet burgers” that aren’t as good as the originals and are all about twee marketing concepts.

Enough with all the ash in fancy restaurants! It was fun when Copenhagen chef Mads Refslund first made his “burning fields” root veg dish five years ago, but now it’s just another ashtray.

Muffins – they are usually nothing more than a dense formation of chaff, and just as appetising.

I don’t want to read: Vindictive and anonymous reviews online. Online reviews should be the vanguard of reviewing. Their value comes from telling us about somewhere good and undiscovered rather than just retreading the same ground of John Lethlean et al.

Over-excited food criticism that oversells a nice new place as the future of dining. Relax guys, the fact it’s a nice new place is enough for me to want to go.

I don’t want to watch: Poorly made, recycled versions of overseas shows that we love. We are Aussies. If we make them, we should make them better.

I don’t want to see: The loss of a man’s right to have his organic farmland uncontaminated by a neighbour’s GM crops. With this in mind, let’s get behind WA farmer Steve Marsh and his coming court battle with Monsanto.

However Bob Hart a food writer and BBQ guru had as one of his gripes as Masterchef:

Don’t want to watch: I have no idea how a program as promising as MasterChef turned itself into a nonsensical parody of itself and an example of the true horrors of “reality” television, but it has clearly done so. And while many of the decisions made in the course of this deranged festival of bad product-placement are inexplicable, they become even more so when the victors are permitted to conduct their own TV shows without the apparent guidance of a responsible adult. I am, however, looking forward to Jamie’s new two-minute menu series every bit as much as the next lunatic

Elizabeth Merryment of the Sunday Telegraph also had a swipe at the show as well as Matt:

Don’t want to watch: As for the nauseating repetition of words and phrases such as “I love the crunch, the balance of saltiness and sweet” on a certain television reality cooking show, well, thanks Matt, but I’ve had my fill. Roll on 2014.

Mark Best chef/owner at Marque in Sydney may not have been specific but he was a tad scathing of chef’s who he had thought had sold out:

No thanks: A Coles feast of maple-glazed barbecued salmon, roast pork and apple sliders and a classic pavlova? No Curtis Stone, I won’t have a “very Merry Christmas with these festive delights”. In fact I would rather saw my arm off with a Christmas sticky tape dispenser than have that blue-eyed, rottweiler grin intimidate me into partaking in your type of Yuletide cheer.

Heston, I love you mate, but Jesus wept, 300 quid for one of your Chrissy puds on eBay? Something stinks in the state of Denmark!

While I’m on it, hopefully Nigella’s recent troubles mean I will not have to witness the domestic goddess licking ham glaze from one elbow and her five-minute chocolate sauce from the other, by the light of the refrigerator, ever again.

Jamie, I’ve sort of admired you up to when you decided to save the chooks by embedding yourself with Woolworths. More mercenary than pukka, old son.

Closer to home, Darren Simpson. The KFC signature burger was, I thought, the bottom of the family meal bucket. Then along comes the Weber Bunnings commercial. Darren, Darren, Darren … hot hot hot, not.

Not that Curtis is going to give a shit what Mark Best thinks as he has been annointed by the Sunday Tele as one our stars to watch in 2014. He is opening a restaurant in Beverley Hills, Los Angeles soon.

What are your grumps of 2014?


December 28, 2013   35 Comments

Matt Preston Says Masterchef Is Real Reality TV

Masterchef Australia series five had its launch last night in Melbourne and it appears this season is not only going to be about the cooking but also “humour” for the the full wrap up go to TV Tonight.

In the pre show publicity judge Matt Preston has said they would be going back to basics but it may not be cooking he is talking about.

He told the Daily Telegraph the show is moving away from set-ups and TV constructs and scripts.

The article states:

“TV is no lover of honesty. There is a lot of mealy-mouthed stuff,” he said.

“It should always be about transparency, and honesty, having real people and contestants rather than contriving or scripting what role they are going to play.

“We are moving away from the whole scenario of set-ups like: You will cook this dish, and you will be cooking under water, and you won’t be able to use your hands.

“We want to give the contestants every opportunity to cook good food, just like people do at home.”

 He also appears to have watched a few episodes of The Voice as he said:
 “I’ve always said what’s on my mind when it comes to dishes. At home you want to know want the judges really think. We want contestants to grow and we give them full and frank advice,” he said.
 Or he might have been having a go at My Kitchen Rules as one of the highlights of this years series was seeing Karen Martini smirk and suppress laughter as the dishes hit the table and then say how fabulous they were.
Masterchef Australia starts on Sunday 2 June at 7.30pm.

May 29, 2013   73 Comments

Masterchef: The Professionals – Marco Pierre White – Reality TV’s Answer To 50 Shades Of Grey

Marco Pierre White is reality TV’s answer to the best selling novel Fifty Shades Of Grey the erotic novel that stormed up the best selling list.

Here in this promo for Masterchef: The Professionals Marco shows that his sex appeal will create a sensation like this novel  did when it hit bedside tables this year. Even at fifty he shows he still has that certain je nais ce quoi.

Network TEN know that apart from his cooking skills this will be a big drawcard for the show. The good news is Marco hard arsed attitude also appeals to male viewers as well.

Matt Preston will be paired with the UK chef to judge the professional chefs in a cooking show if they get it right should see great cooking as well as being highly entertaining.

Masterchef: The Professionals will screen on Network TEN in 2013.

November 12, 2012   4 Comments

Matt Preston Trying His Hand At Real Acting

Is Matt Preston preparing for life after Masterchef Australia? He is stretching his acting wings in an episode of Lowdown on the ABC Thursday night and he is not playing himself.

TV Tonight reports the Masterchef judge will be playing a cravat-less wearing police detective:

This week Alex (Adam Zwar) and four other showbiz journalists spend the night in the a reality TV house surrounded by cameras. But something goes awry, requiring a Detective to arrive in the form of Preston as ‘Inspector Thornbury.’

“You always think acting will be easy, just remembering your lines and not bumping into furniture. That’s the old cliché. But I thought ‘I’m in over my head here.’ Which is a good thing to do,” he says.

Some might say that reality TV was his training ground for the real thing, also he might be realising that being a food writer in the long term may not pay the bills. Like most freelance work, Colman Andrews a leading US food writer, talks about the decreasing money in the food writing sector.

I have heard good things about the show Lowdown so will be checking it out tomorrow night both for the reality TV plot line, and Matt Preston’s cameo.

It screens on the ABC on Thursday night’s at 9.30pm.

Also on the ABC2 tonight is the final episode of UK reality cooking show The Restaurant and also Annabel Crabb’s series Kitchen Cabinet kicks off as well tonight at 9.30pm.

Joe Hockey is the first guest and TV Tonight appears amused at his choice of bed linen. No posh bed line for him it is Bart Simpson. Well at least Joe’s wife will know he is not getting up to any mischief with those bed sheets.

October 10, 2012   8 Comments

Masterchef Australia – Matt Preston Says It Is Going To Be All About The Cooking

Masterchef Australia judge Matt Preston says the fouth series is going to be all about the cooking.

This is what they said about series three as well…

Anyway Matt Preston told the Herald Sun that it is going back to basics.

He said:

MASTERCHEF judge Matt Preston says series five of the ratings juggernaut will be all about cooking.

The Herald Sun columnist said they were bringing the Channel 10 hit back to basics this year – unlike other reality TV shows such as My Kitchen Rules, which announced a fourth series yesterday.

“TV shows are about ratings, MKR has been fantastic and everyone has loved watching it because they have taken a leaf out of The Block‘s box,” Preston said.

“The first thing we look at is whether they can cook. We could pick nuff nuffs who couldn’t cook and it would make great TV but it is not really what it is about.”

Thanks Polly B for sending in article. She also noted that Matt Preston’s new haircut looks suspiciously like Justin Beiber’s.

Photo: Herald Sun.

March 2, 2012   14 Comments