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Category — Patti Newton

Dancing With The Stars – Scandal – Sunrise voters influencing results

Calling Hillsong can you come and interfere with the votes on Dancing With The Stars? Clearly it is ok for Sunrise to use their flock to keep the hopelessly untalented Mark Beretta on the show.

Again a very slow start to the show it really is not necessary to line up all the dancers and make rehearsed banal conversation. However it did make me realise that Ossie Ostrich really had been carrying Darryl for all those years.

The delightful Sonia Kruger added some frission with an interesting camera angle to her opening entrance down their stairs. Just as we were about to see whether she was going commando tonight she lost her shoe and the camera angle changed. Damn.

Corrine & Csaba were first up with the Salsa. Even prior to her being voted off tonight I thought this show is not going to help her career.

There are three reasons to go on this show:
1. To boost your profile and promote your self for further job opportunities;
2. To show a different aspect to your personality;
3. Or you are a Channel 7 ‘celebrity’ and therefore have no choice.

I can only guess it was number 1. Her occupation says comedian, but I really saw no sign of it in 3 episodes. She had no natural voter base, as her last gig was The Glasshouse on the ABC, and we all know those viewers have panic attacks if they see a commercial. I know there was an outcry when they axed the show, but maybe the ABC exec was right as she certainly does not make me laugh.

The unfortunate thing with their elimination is that we won’t get to see the lovely Csaba the hottest dancer on the show.

Bridie Carter and Craig did the Foxtrot. Even thinking about her makes me yawn. Bland, boring and beige. She seriously needs to find a personality and fast, maybe she was the reason I never watched McCleods Daughters. I will have to put up with her for awhile as she always scores highly on the dancing.

Just as I was about to slip into a coma Anh Do and Luda came on to dance the salsa. Now Corinne this is comedian, he used that camera to make us laugh enough to vote for him, and when the dance begins the showmanship continues. He gets my vote tonight. This show is going to sky rocket his profile. Memo to David Leckie let Anh Do compere next seasons and send Darryl to the place where all the old unfunny comedians go. I am sure he and Don Lane could have cuppa together there.

Elka Graham and Michael were dancing in a pre-record as Michael had some unmentioned family emergency. She revealed they had a facebook site but did not mention how many friends they had. Clearly not enough with her second week in the bottom two. She is gorgeous to look at, however Australia is not as enthralled with swimmers as we are led to believe. Prediction – She will be doing her last dance next week. She gets my vote for telling Darryl what a short arse he is.

Mark Beretta & Linda danced a very unco salsa.
Couple of things:
Men over 40 should not wax their chests, it is just disturbing.
Did we really need the 5 minute advertorial for Myers, which was disguised as a chat back stage.
Everytime I see Mark it just gives me flashbacks to The Master episodes, the show he compered which was axed after one episode. His charisma has not increased since then. Todd had taken the serum of truth when he said the routine was hideous. Maybe Todd wants him off the show as he wants to be the only ageing queen in the limelight.

The Sunrise Family is influencing the vote, as he was safe tonight with a score of a very low 18, but that is a story we won’t see on Today Tonight.

Jessica Rowe and Serghei did a respectable foxtrot. She actually looked great this week but maybe because all her flesh was covered. Dressed as a feline she even looked sultry at times. Her husband Peter Overton was not allowed to attend. Come on Channel 9 do you really think me seeing him in the audience is going to make me watch or not watch 60 minutes. Now I can understand why Channel 7 won’t let Bert Newton attend as he will upstage Darryl.

Patti Newton & Sandro danced the salsa. Again she was great and I thought it was fabulous that she took the opportunity to have a good grope of Sandro’s hot body. It must have been a refreshing change from the blubbery Bert. She can dance, and will be difficult to beat this series. I thought she was going to have a Tara Reid boob moment with the way her dress was moving. With her 40 years in show biz experience worse has probably happened to her.

David Hobson and Karina did the fox trot, it was entertaining and co-ordinated. However I thought David was trying to be too funny tonight I really like him when he is just himself.

James Courtney and Olya danced the Salsa. It was not the worst routine of the night. The poor things only had 4 hours of rehearsal time due to his racing commitments. Olya was clearly struggling as well, she looked panic stricken during the lifts. However clearly he is gaining a fan base, as he was safe for another week.

Bridie, Jessica, and Patti scored the highest with 30 and last was Mark Beretta with 18.

The show is looking tired from to many seasons in so few years. I doubt Channel 7 will change the formula as it is still rating very ighly. Some heavy duty editing would assist in making the show a bit snappier. Oh and a new compere would help.

October 9, 2007   5 Comments

Dancing with Stars series 7 – It’s time to go Michael Klim

Michael Klim was predictably the first contestant out of last nights Dancing With the Stars – Series 7 in an episode where Channel 7 cross promotion of their shows reached new heights.

The annoying thing about this show is that it takes 15-20mins to get to the first dance. First we have Darryl Somers doing a monotonous monologue to the camera, and each week I think he really needs to be shifted to a daytime format, or the writers sacked.

Then there is the pedestrian ‘repartee’ between Sonia Kruger and Darryl. Sonia Kruger was on fire tonight once she was away from the charisma sapping Darryl, and had some classy one-liners. As did Todd McKenny who showed why he is the judge with the highest profile.

Then they introduced the contestants and did some obviously stilted rehearsed patter with them.

Finally David Hobson and Karina danced the jive to snap be out of my catatonic stupor. I am starting to buy into the cult of David he is obviously going to be popular. Their dancing something was like something you see late on a Friday night after work drinks when people are trying to dance and sing at the same time to some tired old covers. Not great but not the biggest trainwreck of the night. Judges scored it highly – which indicates they want him to stay.

It was good to see that Channel 7 are trying to make the show carbon neutral by recycling Ozzie Ostrich into Karina’s dress.

Next up Corinne Grant and Csaba doing the tango. Gosh did she luck out Csaba is a hottie, but I suspect he was acting the passion of the tango with her. These suspicions were confirmed when Todd and Csaba shamelessly flirted with each other at the end of the routine.

Unfortunately the dancing reminded me of a corspse in the stage of rigor mortis, so stiff. But 10 points for the lift at the end. Corinne your mission if you choose to accept it is to convert him by the end of the series.

Michael Klim and Eliza did a jive. As predicted by Reality Raver, Michael was the first to go. He was always going to need a big routine this week, but it just did not happen. Yes the Blues Brothers take off had energy but so unco. However he did a great high kick so would obviously rate highly if he had to do the Can Can.

James Courtney and Olya did a nice little tango which resulted in the highest score of the evening. This is where the start of Channel 7 cross promotion began. I think they said Bathurst 1000 about 20 times in a 5 minute segment. It worked for me as finally the penny dropped how James came to be on the show. They needed someone to promote their Bathurst coverage on the show, and Grant Denyer had already been a contestant. I wondered whether James would score a bonus by actually saying on screen that Channel 7 would be covering the race.

Not withstanding that for someone I had never heard of prior to last week, he is great. Nice personality, relaxed on camera, and does have a bit of rhythm. He could be the dark horse of the show which will be an exceptional feat considering he would have a small fan base. Also I suspect post racing he will be mugging at the cameras on The Great Outdoors. Channel 7 you picked a winner there.

Jessica Rowe & Serghei danced the jive. I really really want to like her. But I find her personality just does not gel with me. She has a great body, but what she was wearing looked not great. Her dancing is awkward and gangly. The lift they did was a mess. The judges have been told to be kind but they only scored her 23 which was one of the lowest scores of the evening.

I hope she stays on awhile but I will be surprised is she gets half way through.

An Doh and Luda did the tango – I liked the trick of them doing the first 20 seconds of the routine in the dark so that it gave atmosphere, but having the benefits of the judges not seeing any poor technique. I could almost hear the teeth clenching of the other contestants as they thought “damn why did not I think of that.”

He is another good choice by Channel 7 it was a risk as he also comes from a small fan base, but he has rhythm and personality. My only criticism is that he is always trying to crack a joke and I would like to see more of the real An Doh shine through.

Elka Graham and Michael danced the jive – she is stunning, a Cyd Charisse without the rhythm. She was in the bottom 2 this week, and I think she will struggle to get out of that position which is unfortunate, as it is the highlight of the show when she stands next Darryl to make him look like a hobbit.

Patti Newton and Sandro did the tango. Would Patti be able do another showstopper like last week? No not quite, but still pretty good, and one of the highest scoring routines of the night. Paul Mercurio or was it Mark (those two blend in to me) mentioned her showbiz past, and her dance training from 40 years ago is obviously helping. The $50 million question is whether Channel 9 will allow Bert to attend any of the shows to see Patti dance. Clearly Matt Newton with his DV shame has been told to stay away as it is a family show.

Bridie Carter and Craig did the jive it was predictably good and fun. This was the highest scoring dance of the evening with James. I know she is apparently the favourite to win. However I think she needs to be careful about playing the modesty, “I don’t think I am very good card” could cause a voter backlash. Also she is seems to come across as quite competitive which is never popular with the Australian tall poppy syndrome audience.

Mark Beretta and Linda were last and they did the tango or was it the bolero?? Again Channel 7 managed to plug Sunrise about five times. It made want to watch Today just to teach them a lesson…

His dancing is not great, and I found it vaguely amusing that his partner Linda was dragging him around the dance floor in a dance where the male is meant to be most dominate. The judges justifiably gave the routine a low 22.

Then we had the ultimate in cross promotion with Kath and Kel from Kath and Kim doing a routine. The ironical (as Kath would say) thing is that they were clearly the best and most entertaining dancers of the night even if it was a parody. Can they be contestants next series David Leckie?

The show ended with them quickly kicking Michael Klim off – no suspense and we were all allowed to go to bed.

Predictions for next week:
1. Home and Away actors will attend as part of an episode for the show as Sally won tickets in a local radio station competition. As part of that episode her and Darryl will do a duet singing I Got U Babe. NOOOOOOOO,
2. Darryl will improve by actually cracking one joke during the episode, and
3. Csaba and Todd will continue to use the show as foreplay.

October 3, 2007   1 Comment

Dancing with the Stars Series 7- Episode 1

The teeth were bleached, the fake tans were on, and the chests were waxed, which must mean Dancing With The Stars was back on TV.

The has been much disgruntlement about whether some of the contestants had the prerequisite amount of fame to be on the show. However since anyone can schlep onto any old reality tv show and be called a celebrity and considering some of these people have done more then be turkey slapped I think they filled the criteria. Saying that there were a couple of contestants who barely nudged my celeb radar.

As I have said in a previous So You Think You Can Dance Post
If you come from an Eastern Block country is it compulsory to be a ballroom dancer. The majority of dancers this year appear to be of Russian origin. I think for any man who wants to take a Russian bride salsa lessons may be compulsory.

Darryl Somers reminded me of a ring master and seemed a bit flat none of his opening intro really had any zing in it.

The co-ordination of Corrine Grant, and Patti Newtown were called into question when they seemed to have difficulty getting down the stairs however Patti Newtown soon put any geriatric rumours to rest with a showstopping performance.

And Do and Luda were first up with the Cha Cha – it was a cross between a Jackie Chan show, and those blaxploitation movies of the seventies. I think Quentin Tarantino would have approved.

Helen Ritchie the judge started as she means to continue by perving – she needs to get a toyboy and fast.

Elka Graham and Micheal were next with the quickstep. She certainly showed Darryl that he is a midget. I thought she looked stunning in an otherwise dull routine.

Mark Beretta and Linda then came on with the Cha Cha – He looked so gay – I don’t know if he is nor do I care however it was the first word that popped into my head when he started dancing.

The strategy of Channel 7 became apparent when the judges were assessing him. Gush, Gush, Gush, and then a bit about how great Sunrise is. They obviously want to keep their own stars on the show for awhile to raise their profiles. They scored a high 27 for a pretty stiff and uncoordinated routine, and he also had his mouth open the whole time.

David Hobson and Karina did a nice little quickstep, and thought he was probably the best dancer of the night apart from Bridie Carter.

Michael Klim and Eliza did a quickstep, and I predict he will be the first one to go, because of the combination of a bland routine with a bland personality. The judges gave it the caning it deserved.

Corinne Grant and Csaba had a stab at the Cha Cha, ok a bit uncoordinated. I love Corrine however she is not bringing the sexy back.

Bridie Carter and Craig did a quick step and stamped their authority on the competition that they were the ones to beat. It was probably in the top two routines of the night.

James and Olga – No idea who he is – some sort of V8 racing car driver thought I would not like him, but actually did. And wow is Olga a little firecracker. She was indeed channelling the saucy video clip of the song they were dancing too – “Destination Unknown” where the singer simulates masturbation with a horn instrument.

Now the moment we had been waiting for Jessica Rowe and Serghei dancing the quickstep. Channel 7 had used her alot in their pre show publicity so clearly are trying to improve her profile. I suspect they will decide what to do with her once they see how far she goes on the show. Late night bulletins if she bombs out.
The routine was very stiff, and she does seem to have the body of a praying mantis, but she seemed to enjoy herself. I look forward to seeing her improve.

And then the penultimate moment Patti Newton and Sandro doing the Cha Cha – She was just great – no lame Dawn Fraser type dancing for her. She strutted her stuff and sizzled. Bert has got a hot little tomali there. I really enjoyed it and found her quite inspiring. Go Girl. Her daughter Lauren was there but not Matt Newtown, who may want to associate with her and try and improve his own self image after the ‘battering’ it has taken. All puns intended.

Patti took out top honours. Michael Klim and Elka Graham were the bottom two which just shows that talent in the water does not translate to dry land.

September 26, 2007   5 Comments